For either they be full of jealousie, Good men have often ill wives, as bad as Xantippe was to Socrates, Elevora to St. Lues, Isabella to our Edward the second: and good wives are as often matched to ill husbands, as Mariamne to Herod, Serena to Dioclesian, Theodora to Theophilus, and Thyra to Gurmunde. But I will say nothing of dissolute and bad husbands, of Batchelours and their vices; their good qualities are a fitter subject for a just volume, too well known already in every village, town and city, they need no blazon; and lest I should marre any matches, or dis-hearten loving maids, for this present I will let them passe. Being that men and women are so irreligious, depraved by nature, so wandring in their affections, so brutish, so subject to disagreement, so unobservant of marriage rites, what shall I say? If thou beest such a one, or thou light on such a wife, what concord can there be, what hope of agreement? 'tis not conjugium but conjurgium, as the Reed and Ferne in the * Embleme, averse and opposite in nature: 'tis twenty to one thou wilt not marry to thy contentment: but as in a lottery forty blanks were drawn commonly for one prize, out of a multitude you shall hardly choose a good one: a small ease hence then, little comfort, "Nec integrum unquam transiges lætus diem." If he or she be such a one, Thou hadst much better be alone. If she be barren, she is not--&c. If she have children, and thy state be not good, though thou be wary and circumspect, thy charge will undo thee, -" fœcundâ domum tibi prole gravabit," thou wilt not be able to bring them up," and what greater misery can there be, then to beget children, to whom thou canst leave no other inheritance but hunger and thirst?" * сит fames dominatur, strident voces rogantium panem, penetrantes patris cor: what so grievous as to turn them up to the wide world, to shift for themselves? No plague like to want: and when thou hast good means, and art very carefull of their education, they will not be ruled. Think but of that old proverb, ἡρώων τέκνα σήματα Heroum filii noxa, great men's • Simonides. Camerar. 82. cent. 3. Childrem make misfortunes more bitter. Bacon. y Heinsius Epist. Primiero. Nihil miserius quàm procreare liberos ad quos nihil ex hæreditate tua pervenire videas præter fament & sitim. * Chrys. Fonseca. sons 385 sons seldome do well; O utinam aut celebs mansissem, aut prole carerem! * Augustus exclaims in Suetonius. Jacob had his Ruben, Simeon and Levi: David an Amnon, an Absolon, Adoniah; wise men's sons are commonly fools, insomuch that Spartian concludes, Neminem prope magnorum virorum optimum & utilem reliquisse filium; They had been much better to have been childless. Tis too common in the middle sort; Thy sonne's a drunkard, a gamester, a spendthrift; thy daughter a fool, a whore; thy servants lazie drones and theeves; thy neighbours divels, they will make thee weary of thy life. "If thy wife be froward, when she may not have her will, thou hadst better be buried alive; she will be so impatient, raving still, and roaring like Juno in the Tragedy, there's nothing but tempests, all is in an uproar." If she be soft and foolish, thou werst better have a block, she will shame thee and reveal thy secrets: if wise and learned, well qualified, there is as much danger on the other side, mulierem doctam ducere periculosissimum, saith Nevisanus, she will be too insolent and peevish, “Malo Venusinam quàm te Cornelia mater.” Take heed; if she be a slut, thou wilt loath her; if proud, shee'l beggar thee, "shee'l spend thy patrimony in bables, all Arabia will not serve to perfume her haire," saith Lucian: if fair and wanton, shee'l make thee a Cornuto; if deformed, she will paint. "+If her face be filthy by nature, she will mend it by art," alienis & adscititiis imposturis, "which who can indure?" If she do not paint, she will look so filthy, thou canst not love her, and that peradventure will make thee unhonest. Cromerus lib. 12. hist. relates of Casimirus, that he was unchast, because his wife Aleida, the daughter of Henry Lasgrave, of Hessia, was so deformed. If she be poor, she brings beggery with her (saith Nevisanus) misery and discontent. If you marry a maid, it is uncertain how she proves, "Hæc forsan veniet non satis apta tibi:" If yong, she is likely wanton and untaught; if lusty, too lascivious; and if she be not satisfied, you know where and when, nil nisi jurgia, all is in an uprore, and there is little quietness to be had: if an old maid, 'tis an hazard she dies in childbed: if *Liberi sibi carcinomata. * Melius fuerat eos sine liberis discessisse. Lemnius cap. 6. lib. 1. Si morosa, si non in omnibus obsequaris, omnia impa cata in ædibus, omnia sursum misceri videas, multæ tempestates, &c. Lib. 2. numer. 101.sil. nup. ⚫ Juvenal. *Tom. 4. Amores, omnem mariti opulentiam profundet, totam Arabiam capillis redolens. + Idem, & quis sanæ mentis sustinere queat &c. • Subegit ancillas quod uxor ejus deformior esset. a rich VOL. II. Сс d a rich widdow, induces te in laqueum, thou dost halter thyself, she will make all away before hand, to her other children, &c. -“ * dominam quis possit ferre tonantem ?" she will hit thee still in the teeth with her first husband: if a yong widdow, she is often unsatiable and immodest. If she be rich, well descended, bring a great dowry, or be nobly allied, thy wive's friends will eat thee out of house and home, dives ruinam ædibus inducit, she will be so proud, so high-minded, so imperious. For -" nihil est magis intolerabile dite," there's nothing so intolerable, thou shalt be as the Tassell of a gosse-hauke," she will ride upon thee, domineer as she list," wear the breeches in her oligarchical government, and beggar thee besides. Uxores divites servitutem exigunt, (as Seneca hits them declam. lib. 2. declam. 6.) Dotem accepi, imperium perdidi. They will have soveraignty, pro conjuge dominam arcessis, they will have attendance, they will do what they list. In taking a dowry thou loosest thy liberty, dos intrat, libertas exit, hazardest thine estate. "Hæ sunt atq; aliæ multæ in magnis dotibus with many such inconveniences: say the best, she is a commanding servant; thou hadst better have taken a good huswife maid in her smock. Since then there is such hazard, if thou be wise, keep thy self as thou art, 'tis good to match, much better to be free. -"+procreare liberos lepidissimum, Hercle verò liberum esse, id multò est lepidius." art thou yong? then match not yet; if old, match not at all." "Vis juvenis nubere? nondum venit tempus. And therefore, with that Philosopher, still make answer to thy Sil. nup. 1. 2. num. 25. Dives inducit tempestatem, pauper curam: Ducens viduam se inducit in laqueum. * Sic quisq; dicit, alteram ducit tamen. Si dotata erit, imperiosa, continuoq; viro inequitare conabitur. Petrarch. f If a woman nourish her husband, she is angry and impudent, and ful of reproach.' Ecclus 25. 22. Scilicet uxori nubere nolo meæ. + Plautus Mil. Glor, act. 3. sc. 1. Stobeus fer. 66. Alex ab Alexand. lib. 4. cap. 8. friends friends that importune thee to marry, adhuc intempestivum, 'tis yet unseasonable, and ever will be. Consider withall how free, how happy, how secure, how heavenly, in respect, a single man is, as he said in the Comodie, Et isti quod fortunatum esse autumant, uxorem nunquam habui, and that which all my neighbours admire and applaud me for, account so great an happiness, I never had a wife; consider how contentedly, quietly, neatly, plentifully, sweetly and how merrily he lives! he hath no man to care for but himself, none to please, no charge, none to controle him, is tied to no residence, no cure to serve, may go and come, when, whither, live where he will, his own master, and do what he list himself. Consider the excellency of Virgins, + Virgo cœlum meruit, marriage replenisheth the earth, but virginity Paradise; Elias, Eliseus, John Baptist were Bacchelors: Virginity is a pretious Jewell, a fair garland, a never fading flower; " for why was Daphne turned to a green bay tree, but to shew that virginity is immortall? "Ut flos in septis secretus nascitur hortis, Quam mulcent auræ, firmat Sol, educat imber, &c, Sic virgo dum intacta manet, dum chara suis, sed i h Virginity is a fine picture, as Bonaventure calls it, a blessed thing in it self, and if you will believe a Papist, meritorious. And although there be some inconveniences, irksomeness, solitariness, &c. incident to such persons, want of those comforts, quæ ægro assideat & curet ægrotum, fomentum paret, roget medicum, &c. embracing, dalliance, kissing, colling, &c. those furious motives and wanton pleasures a new married wife most part enjoyes; yet they are but toyes in respect, easily to be endured, if conferred to those frequent incumbrances of marriage. Solitariness may be otherwise avoided with mirth, musick, good company, business, imployment; in a word, § Gaudebit minus, & minus dolebit; for their good nights, he shall have good daies. And me thinks sometime or other amongst so many rich Bachelors, a benefactor should be found to build a monasticall College for old, decayed, deformed, or discontented maides to live together in, that have lost their first loves, or otherwise miscarried, or else are willing howsoever to lead a *They shall attend the lamb in heaven, because they were not defiled with women, Apoc. 14. + Nuptiæ replent terram, virginitas Paradisum. Hier. Daphne in laurum semper virentem, immortalem docet gloriam paratam virginibus pudicitiam servantibus. Catul. car. nuptiali. i Diet. salut. c. 22. pulcherrimum sertum infiniti precii, gemma, & pictura speciosa. Cc 2 § Mart. single single life. The rest I say are toyes in respect, and sufficiently recompenced by those innumerable contents and incomparable privileges of Virginity. Think of these things, confer both lives, and consider last of all these commodious prerogatives a Bachelor hath, how well he is esteemed, how heartily welcome to all his friends, quam mentitis obsequiis, as Tertullian observes, with what counterfeit curtesies they will adore him, follow him, present him with gifts, hamatis donis: "it cannot be believed, (saith ° Ammianus) with what umble service he shall be worshipped," how loved and respected: "If he want children, (and have means) he shall be often invited, attended on by Princes, and have advocates to plead his cause for nothing," as P Plutarch addes. Wilt thou then be reverenced, and had in estimation? dominus tamen & domini rex Si tu vis fieri, nullus tibi parvulus aulâ Jucundum & charum sterilis facit uxor amicum." Live a single man, marry not, and thou shalt soon perceive how those Hæredipeta (for so they were called of old) will seek after thee, bribe and flatter thee for thy favour, to be thine heire or executor: Aruntius and Aterius, tbose famous parasites in this kinde, as Tacitus and Seneca have recorded, shall not go beyond them. Periplectomines, that good personat old man, delitium senis, well understood this in Plautus; for when Pleusides exhorted him to marry that he might have children of his own, he readily replied in this sort, "Quando habeo multos cognatos, quid opus mihi sit liberis? Nunc benè vivo & fortunatè, atq; animo ut lubet. Mea bona mea morte cognatis dicam interpartiant. Illi apud me edunt, me curant, visunt quid agam, ecquid velim, This respect thou shalt have in like manner, living as he did, a single man. But if thou marry once, cogitato in omni vita te servum fore, bethink thy self what a slavery it is, what an • Lib. 24. qua obsequiorum diversitate colantur homines sine liberis. Hunc alii ad cœnam invitant, princeps huic famulatur, oratores gratis patrocinantur. lib. de amore Prolis. Annal. 11. 960 de benefic. 38. + E Græco. heavy |