matrizare, take after her in all good qualities, "Creden' Pasiphae non tauripotente futuram If the dam trot, the foal will not amble. My last caution is, that a woman do not bestow her self upon a fool, or an apparent melancholy person; jealousie is a symptome of that disease, and fools have no moderation. Justina, a Romane Lady, was much persecuted, and after made away by her jealous husband, she caused and enjoyned this Epitaph, as a caveat to others, to be engraven on her tomb: * "Discite ab exemplo Justinæ, discite patres, Ne nubat fatuo filia vestra viro," &c. Learn parents all, and by Justina's case, After marriage, I can give no better admonitions than to use their wives well, and which a friend of mine told me that was a married man, I will tell you as good cheap, saith Nicostratus in Stobeus, to avoid future strife, and for quietness sake, "when you are in bed, take heed of your wive's flattering speeches over night, and curtain sermons in the morning.' Let them do their endeavour likewise to maintain them to their means, which + Patricius ingeminates, and let them have liberty with discretion, as time and place requires: many women turn queans by compulsion, as Nevisanus observes, because their husbands are so hard, and keep them so short in diet and apparell, paupertas cogit eas meretricari, poverty and hunger, want of means, makes them dishonest, or bad usage; their churlish behaviour forceth them to fly out, or bad examples, they do it to cry quittance. In the other extreme some are too liberal, as the proverb is, Turdus malum sibi cacat, they make a rod for their own tails, as Candaules did to Gyges in I Herodotus, commend his wife's beauty himself, and besides would needs have him see her naked. Whilst they give their wives too much liberty to gad abroad, and bountifull allowance, they are accessary to their own miseries; animæ uxorum pessimè olent, as Plautus jybes, they have deformed souls, and by their painting and colours procure odium mariti, their husband's hate, especially, » Camerarius cent. 2 cap. 54. oper. subcis. *Ser. 72. Quod amicus quidam uxorem habens mihi dixit, dicam vobis, In cubili cavendæ adulationes vesperi, mane clamores. + Lib. 4. tit. 4. de institut. Re pub. cap de officio mariti & uxoris. Lib. 4. syl. nup. num. 81. Non curant de uxoribus, nec volunt iis subvenire de viciu, vestitu, &c. In Clio. Speciem uxoris supra modum extollens, fecit ut illam nadam coram aspiceret. } cùm _"*cùm miserè viscantur labra mariti." Besides, their wives (as Basil notes) Impudentèr se exponunt masculorum aspectibus, jactantes tunicas, & coram tripudiantes, impudently thrust themselves into other mens companies, and by their undecent wanton carriage provoke and tempt the spectators. Vertuous women should keep house; and 'twas well performed and ordered by the Greeks, -"mulier ne qua in publicum Spectandam se sine arbitro præbeat viro:" which made Phidias belike at Elis paint Venus treading on a Tortoise, a symbole of women's silence and house-keeping. For a woman abroad and alone, is like a Deer broke out of a Parke, quam mille venatores insequuntur, whom every hunter followes; and besides in such places she cannot so well vindicate her self, but as that virgin Dinah (Gen. 34. 2.) "going for to see the daughters of the land," lost her virginity, she may be defiled and overtaken on a sudden; "Imbelles damæ quid nisi præda sumus?" And therefore I know not what Philosopher he was, that would have women come but thrice abroad all their time, "to be baptized, maried, and buried;" but he was too strait laced. Let them have their liberty in good sort, and go in good sort, modò non annos viginti ætatis suæ domi relinquant, as a good fellow said, so that they look not twenty years yonger abroad then they do at home, they be not spruce, neat, Angels abroad, beasts, dowdies, sluts at home; but seek by all means to please and give content to their husbands; to be quiet above all things, obedient, silent and patient; if they be incensed, angry, chide a little, their wives must not ‡ cample again, but take it in good part. An honest woman, I cannot now tell where she dwelt, but by report an honest woman she was, hearing one of her gossips by chance complain of her husband's impatience, told her an excellent remedy for it, and gave her withall a glasse of water, which when he brauled she should hold still in her mouth, and that toties quòties, as often as he chid; she did so two or three times with good success, and at length seeing her neighbour, gave her great thanks for it, and would needs know the ingredients, she told her in brief what it was, “Fair water," and no more: for it was not the water, but her silence which performed the cure. Let every froward woman imitate *Juven. Sat. 6. He cannot kisse his wife for paint. Orat. contra ebr. + Ad baptismum, matrimonium & tumulum. Non vociferatur illa si maritus obganniat. § Fraudem aperiens ostendit ei non aquam sed silentium iracundiæ moderari. 9 this example, and be quiet within doors, and (as M. Aurelius prescribes) a necessary caution it is to be observed of all good matrons that love their credits, to come little abroad, but follow their work at home, look to their houshold affairs and private business, economie incumbentes, be sober, thrifty, wary, cir cumspect, modest, and compose themselves to live to their husband's means, as a good huswife should do, "Quæ studiis gavisa coli, partita labores Howsoever 'tis good to keep them private, not in prison; Reade more of this subject, Horol. princ. lib. 2. per totum. Arnisæus, polit. Cyprian, Tertullian, Bossus de mulier. apparat. Godefridus de Amor. lib. 2. cap. 4. Levinus Lemnius cap. 54. de institut. Christ. Barbarus de re uxor. lib. 2. cap. 2. Franciscus Patritius de institut. Reipub. lib. 4. Tit. 4 & 5. de officio mariti & uxoris, Christ. Fonseca Amphitheat. Amor. cap. 45. Sam. Neander, &c. These cautions concern him; and if by those or his own discretion otherwise he cannot moderate himself, his friends must not be wanting by their wisdom, if it be possible, to give the party grieved satisfaction, to prevent and remove the occasions, objects, if it may be to secure him. If it be one alone, or many, to consi ler whom he suspects or at what times, in what places he is most incensed, in what companies.Nevisanus makes a question whether a young Physitian ought to be admitted in case of sickn. ss, into a new married man's house, to administer a julip, a syrup, or some such physick. The Persians of old would not suffer a young Physitian to come amongst women. Apollonides Cous made Artaxerxes cu kold, and was after buried alive for it. A gaoler in Aristæænetus had a fine young gentleman to his prisoner; in commiseration of his youth and person he let him loose, to enjoy the liberty of the prison, but he unkindly made him a Cornuto. Menelaus gave good welcome to Paris a stranger, his whole house and family were at his command, but he ungently stole away his best beloved wife. The like measure was offered to Agis king of Lacedæmon, by § Alcibiades an exile, for his good entertain Horol. princi. lib. 2. cap. 8. Diligenter caveudum fœminis illustribus ne fre quen er exeant. * Chaloner. + Menander. Lib. 5. num. 11. Cesias in Pers c.s finxit vulvæ morbuin esse nec curari posse nisi cum viro concumberet, hac arte voti co npos. &c. Exsolvit vinculis solutumq; demisit, at Plutarch, vita ejus. ille inhumanus stupravit conjugem. 1 ment, ment, he was too familiar with Timea his wife, begetting a child of her, called Leotichides; and bragging moreover when he came home to Athens, that he had a son should be king of the Lacedemonians. If such objects were removed, no doubt but the parties might eas ly be satisfied, or that they could use them gently, and intreat them well, not to revile them, scoffe at, hate theip, as in such cases commonly they do, 'tis an humane infirmity, a miserable vexation, and they should not add grief to grief, nor aggravate their misery, bu seek to please, and by all means give them content, by good counsel, removing such offensive objects, or by mediation of some discreet friends. In old Rome there was a Temple erected by the matrons to that Viriplaca Dea, another to Venus verticorda, quæ maritos uxoribus reddebat benevolos, whither (if any difference hapned betwixt man and wife) they did instantly resort: there they did offer sacrifice, a white Hart, Plutarch records, sine felle, without the gall, (Some say the like of Juno's temple) and make their prayers for conjugall peace: before some "indifferent arbitrators and friends, the matter was heard betwixt man and wife, and commonly composed. In our times we want no sacred Churches, or good men to end such controversies, if use were made of them. Some say that precious stone called *Beryllus, others a Diamond, hath excellent vertue, contra hostium injurias, & conjugatos invicem conciliare, to reconcile men and wives, to maintain unity and love; you may try this when you will, and as you see cause. If none of all these means and cautions will take place, I know not what remedy to prescribe, or whither such persons may go for ease, except they can get into the same Turkie paradise, "Where they shall have as many fair wives as they will themselves, with clear eyes, and such as look on none but their own husbands," no fear, no danger of being cuckolds; or else I would have them observe that strict rule of † Alphonsus, to marry a deaf and dumb man to a blind woman. If this will not help, let them, to prevent the worst, consult with an ‡ Astrologer, and see whether the significators in her Horoscope agree with his, that they be not in signis & partibus odiose intuentibus aut imperantibus, sed mutuo & amicè antiscis & obedientibus, oherwise, (as they hold) there will be intolerable enmities between them: or else get him Sigillum veneris, a Characteristical Seal stamped in X Rosinus lib. 2. 19. Valerius lib. 2. cap. 1. "Alexander ab Alexandro 1. 4. cap. 8 gen. dier. * Fr. Rueus de gemmis 1. 2. cap. 8. & 15. * Strozius Cicogna lib. 2. cap. 15. spirit, et in can. Dabent ibidem uxores quot volunt cum oculis clarissimis, quos nunquam in aliquem præter maritum fixuri sunt, &c. Bredenbacchius, Idem & Bohemus &c. + Uxor cæca ducat maritum surdum, See Valent. Nabod. differ. com. in Alcabitium, ubi plura. &C. the the day and hour of Venus, when she is fortunate, with such and such set words and charmes, which Villanovanus and Leo Suavius prescribe, ex sigillis magicis Salomonis, Hermetis, Raguelis, &c. with many such, which Alexis, Albertus, and some of our natural magicians put upon us: ut mulier cum aliquo adulterare non possit, incide de Capillis ejus, &c. and he shall shurely be gracious in all women's eyes, and never suspect or disagree with his own wife, so long as he wears it. If this course be not approved, and other remedies may not be had, they must in the last place sue for a divorce: but that is somewhat difficult to effect, and not all out so fit. For as Felisacus in his Tract de justa uxore urgeth, If that law of Constantine the great, or that of Theodosius and Valentinian, concerning divorce, were in use in our times, innumeras propemodum viduas haberemus, et calibes viros, we should have almost no married couples left. Try therefore those former remedies: or as Tertullian reports of Democritus, that put out his eyes, * because he could not look upon a woman without lust, and was much troubled to see that which he might not enjoy; let him make himself blind, and so he shall avoid that care and molestation of watching his wife. One other soveraign remedy I could repeat, an especial Antidote against Jealousie, an excellent cure, but I am not now disposed to tell it, not that like a covetous Emperick I conceal it for any gain, but some other reasons, I am not willing to publish it; if you be very desireous to know it, when I meet you next, I will peradventure tell you what it is in your ear. This is the best councel I can give ; which he that hath need of, as occasion serves may apply unto himself. In the mean time, "dii talem terris avertite pestem," as the proverb is, from Heresie, Jealousie, and Frensie, good Lord deliver us. Cap. 46. Apol. quod mulieres sine concupiscentia aspicere non posset, &c. SECT. |