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Rug. Here, Sir.
Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby; come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to the Court.
Rug. 'Tis ready, Sir, here in the porch.
Caius. By my trot, I tarry too long: od's me! Qu' ay je oublié dere is some simples in my closet, dat i will not for the varld I shall leave behind.
Quic. Ay-me, he'll find the young man there, and be mad.
Caius. O Diable, Diable! vat is in my closet? villaine, Larron! Rugby, my rapier.
[Pulls Simple out of the closet. Quic. Good master, be çontent. Caius. Wherefore shall I be content-a? Quic. The
man is an honest man. Caius. What shall de honest man do in
closet? dere is no honest man, dat shall come in
closet. Quic. I beseech you, be not so flegmatic; hear the truth of it. He came of an errand to me from parson Hugh.
Sim. To desire this honelt gentlewoman your maid, to speak a good word to mistress Anne Page for my master in the way of marriage.
Quic. This is all, indeed-la; but I'll never put my finger in the fire, and need not.
Caius. Sir Hugh send-a-you? Rugby, baillez me some paper; tarry you a little-a-while.
Quic. I am glad, he is so quiet; if he had been thoroughly moved, you should have heard him so loud, and so melancholy: but notwithstanding, man, I'll do for your master what good I can; and the very yea and the nois, the French Doctor
my master, (I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his
house, and I walh, wring, brew, bake, fcour, dress meat and make the beds, and do all myself.)
Sim. 'Tis a great charge to come under one body's hand.
Quic. Are you a-vis d o’that? you shall find it a great charge ; and to be up early and down late. But notwithstanding, to tell you in your ear, I would have no words of it, my master himself is in love with mistress Anne Page; but, notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind, that's neither here nor there.
Caius. You jack’nape; give-a this letter to Sir Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat in de parke, and I will teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make you may be gone ; it is not good you tarry here; by gar, "I will cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to trow at his dog.
[Exit Simple. Quic. Alas, he speaks but for his friend.
Caius. It is no matter'a ver dat: do you not tellame, dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? by gar, I vill kill de jack priest; and I have appointed mine hoft of de Jarterre to measure our weapon; by gar,
I will myself have Anne Page.
Quic. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well: we must give folks leave to prate; what, the goodjer! Caius. Rugby, come to the Court with me;
-by gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door ;-- follow my heels, Rugby.
]Exeunt Caius and Rughy. Quic. You shall have An fool's head of your own. No, I know Anne's mind for that; never a Woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do, nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heav'n. Fent. [within.] Who's within there, hoa ?
Quic. Who's there, I trow? come near the house, I pray you. .
S CEN E XI.
above your cye
Enter Mr. Fenton. Fent. O W now, good woman, how doft thou ?
Quic. The better that it pleases your good worship to alk.
Fent. What news? now does pretty mistress Anne!
Quic. In truth, Sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way, I praise heav'n for it.
Fent. Shall I do any good, think'st thou? shall I not lose my fuit ?
Quic. Troth, Sir, all is in his hands above; but notwithstanding, master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book, she loves you: have not your worship a wart
? Fent. Yes, marry, have I; and what of that ?
Quic. Well, thereby hangs a tale; good faith, it is such another Nan; but, I deteft, an honest maid as ever broke bread; we had an hour's talk of that wart: I shall never laugh but in that maid's company! but, indeed, she is given too much to allicholly and musing ; but for you-Wellgo to
Fent. Well, I shall see her to day; hold, there's money for thee: let me have thy voice in my behalf; if thou seeft her before me, commend me
Quic. Will I? ay, faith, that we will : and I will tell your worship more of the wart, the next time we have confidence, and of other wooers. Fent. Well, farewel, I am in great hafte now.
[Exit. Quic. Farewel to your worship. Truly, an honeft gentleman, but Anne loves him not; I know Anne's mind as well as another does. Out upon't, what have I forgot ?
S C Ε Ν Ε Ι .
Before Page's House.
day-time of my beauty, and am I now a subject for them? let me see:
Ask me no reason, why I love you; for tho' love use reason for his precisan, he admits him not for his counsellor : you are not young, no more ain I; go to them, there's sympathy: you are merry, fo am I; ha! ha! then there's more sympathy; you love jack, and so do 1; would you desire better Sympathy ? let it suffice thee, mistress Page, at the least if the love of a soldier can suffice, that I love thee. I will not say, piíy me, 'tis not a soldier-like phrase; but I say, love me:
By me, thine own true Knight, by day or night,
What a Herod of Jewry is this? O wicked, wicked world! one that is well nigh worn to pieces with age, to show himself a young gallant! what weigh'd behaviour hath this Flemish drunkard pickt, i'th' devil's name, out of my conversation, that he dares in this manner assay me? why, he hath not been thrice in my company: what should I say to him? I was then frugal of my mirth, heav'n forgive me: why, * I'll exhibit a Bill in the Parliament for
* I'll exhibit a Bill in Parliament for putting down of men. Mr. Theobald reads, for ng down of fat men. But how is the Matter mended ? or the 'Thought made less ridiculous ? Shakespear wrote, for the putling down of mum, i. e. the fatning Liquor so called.
the putting down of Mum: how shall I be reveng'd on him? for reveng'd I will be, as sure as his guts are made of puddings.
S CE N E II.
Enter Mrs. Ford. Mrs. Ford. RS. Page, trust me, I was going to
house. Mrs. Page. And trust me, I was coming to you; you look very ill.
Mrs. Ford. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have to shew to the contrary.
Mrs. Page. 'Faith, but you do, in my mind.
Mrs. Furd. Well, I do then; yet I say, I could Thew you to the contrary : O mistress Page, give me fome counsel.
Mrs. Page. What's the matter, woman?
Mrs. Ford. O woman! if it were not for one trifling respect, I could come to such honour.
Mrs. Page. Hang the trifle, woman, take the honour; what is it? dispense with trifles; what is it?
Mrs. Ford. If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment, or so, I could be knighted.
Mrs. Page. What, thou lieft! Sir Alice Ford! thefe Knights will lack, and so thou shouldst not alter the article of thy gentry.
Mrs. Ford. We burn day-light; here, read, read; perceive, how I might be knighted : I shall think the worse of fat men, as long as I have an eye to make difference of men's liking; and yet he would not swear; prais'd women's modefty; and gave such orderly and well-behav'd reproof to all uncomeliness, that I would have sworn his disposition would have gone to the truth of his words; but they do no more adhere, and keep place together, than the hundredth Psalm to the tune of Green Sleeves. What tempeft, I trow, threw this whale, with so many tun of oil in