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Mrs. Page. My Nan shall be the Queen of all the
fairies; Finely attired in a robe of white.
Page. That filk will I go buy, and in that time Shall Mr. Slender steal my Nan away, [Aside. And marry her at Eaton. Go, send to Falstaff straight.
Ford. Nay, I'll to him again in the name of Brook; he'll tell me all his purpose. Sure, he'll come.
Mrs. Page. Fear not you that; go get us properties and tricking for our fairies.
Eva. Let us about it, it is admirable pleasures, and ferry honest knaveries. [Ex. Page, Ford and Evans.
Mrs. Page. Go, Mrs. Ford,
[Exit Mrs. Ford
[Exit S CE N E VIII.
Changes to the Garter-Inn.
Enter Hoft and Simple, Hoft. HAT would'At thou have, boor? what,
thick-fkin ? speak, breathe, discuss; brief, fhort, quick, snap.
Simp. Marry, Sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff, from Mr. Slender.
Hoft. There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his standing-bed and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about with the story of the Prodigal, fresh and new; go, knock and cail; he'll speak like an anthropophaginian unto thee: knock, I say.
Simp. There's an old woman, a fat woman gone up into his chamber; I'll be so bold as stay, Sir, 'till The come down: I come to speak with her, indeed.
Hoft. Ha! a fat woman ? the Knight may be robb’d: I'll call, bully-Knight! Bully-Sir John! speak from thy lungs military : art thou there? it is thine Hoft
, thine Ephesian calls.
Falstaff, above. Fal. How now, mine Host?
Hoft. Here's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman: let her descend, bully, let her descend; my chambers are honourable. Fie, privacy? fie!
Enter Falstaff. Fal. There was, mine Host, an old fat woman even now with me, but she's gone.
Simp. Pray you, Sir, was't not the wise woman of Brainford ? Fal. Ay, marry was it, mussel-shell, what would
? Simp. My master, Sir, my master Slender sent to her, seeing her go thro' the street, to know, Sir, whether one Nym, Sir, that beguild him of a chain, had the chain, or no.
Fal. I fpake with the old woman about it.
Fal. Marry, she says, that the very fame man, that beguild master Slender of his chain, cozen'd him ofit.
Simp. I would, I could have spoken with the woman herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him.
Fal. What are they ? let us know.
tress Anne Page; to know, if it were my master's fortune to have her or no,
Fal. 'Tis, 'tis his fortune.
Fal. To have her, or no: go; say, the woman told me fo.
Simp. May I be so bold to say fo, Sir?
Simp. I thank your worship: I shall make my mafter glad with these tidings.
[Exit Simple. Hoft. Thou art clarkly; thou art clarkly, Sir John: was there a wise woman with thee?
Fal. Ay, that there was, mine Hoft; one, that hath taught me more wit than ever I learn'd before in my life; and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning
Enter Bardolph. Bard. UT, alas, Sir, cozenage! mere cozen
age! Hoft. Where be my horses, speak well of them, varletto.
Bard. Run away with the cozeners; for so soon as I came beyond Eaton, they threw me off from behind one of them in a slough of mire, and set spurs, and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Faustus's.
Hoft. They are gone but to meet the Duke; villain ; do not say, they are fled; Germans are honest men.
Enter Evans. Eve. Where is mine Host? Hoft. What is the matter, Sir ? Eva. Have a care of your entertainments; there is a friend o' mine come to town, tells me, there is three cozen-jermans that has cozen'd all the Hosts of Read
ing, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and money: I tell you for good will, look you; you are wise, and full of gibes and vlouting-stocks, and 'tis not convenient you should be cozen'd; fare you well. [Exit.
Enter Caius. Caius. Ver' is mine Host de Jartere?
Hoft. Here, master Doctor, in perplexity and doubtful dilemma.
Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat; but it is tell-a-me, dat you make a grand preparation for a Duke de Jamany; but my trot, der is no Duke, dat the Court is know, to come: I tell you for good will; adieu. [Exit.
Hoft. Hue and cry, villain, go ! affift me, Knight, I am undone ; fly, run, hue and cry! Villain, 1 am undone !
[Exit. Fal. I would, all the world might be cozen’d, for I have been cozened and beaten too. If it should come to the ear of the Court, how I have been transformed, and how my transformation hath been wash'd and cudgeld, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermen's boots with me. I warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, ’till I were as crest-fażn as a dry'd pear.
I never prosper'd since I forswore myself at Primero. Well, if my wind were but long enough to say my prayers, I would repent.
Now, whence come you?
Quic. From the two Parties, forsooth. Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and so they shall be both bestow'd. I have suffer'd more for their fakes, more than the vil
lainous inconstancy of man's disposition is able to bear.
Quic. And have not they suffer'd ? yes, I warrant, , speciously one of them; mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her.
Fal. What tell'ft thou me of black and blue ? I was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow; and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brainford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, counterfeiting the action of an old woman, deliver'd me, the knave constable had set me i'th' stocks, i'th' common stocks, for a witch.
Quic. Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber; you shall hear how things go, and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good hearts, what ado is here to bring you together ? sure, one of you does not serve heav'n well, that you are so cross d. Fal. Come
MA is heavy,
ASTER Fenton, talk not to me, my mind
I will give over all.
Fent. Yet hear me speak; assist me in my purpose, And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee A hundred pound in gold more than your lofs.
Hoft. I will hear you, master Fenton ; and I will, at the least, keep your counsel.
Fent. From time to time I have acquainted you With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page; Who, mutually, hath answer'd my affection, (So far forth as herself might be her chuser) Ev'n to my wish. I have a letter from her