Quic. I am glad, he is fo quiet; if he had been thoroughly moved, you should have heard him fo loud, and fo melancholy: but notwithstanding, man, I'll do for your mafter what good 1 can; and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor my mafter, ( may call him my mafter, look you, for I keep his houfe, and I wash, wring, brew, bake, fcour, drefs meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself.)

Simp. 'Tis a great charge to come under one body's

hand.

Quie. Are you a-vis'd o'that? you fhall find it a great charge; and to be up early and down late." But notwithstanding, to tell you in your ear, I would have no words of it, my mafter himfelf is in love with miftrels Ann Page; but, notwithstanding that, I know Ann's mind, that's neither here nor there."

A

Caius. You jack'nape; give a this letter to Sir Hugh; by gar, it is a fhallenge: I will cut his troat in de parke, and I will teach a fcurvy jack-a-nape prieft to meddle or make-you may be gone; it is not good you tarry here; by gar, I will cut all his two ftones by gar he fhall not have a ftone to trow at his dog. [Exit Simple. Quic. Alas, he fpeaks but for his friend,

Caius. It is no matter'a ver dat: do you not tell-ame, dat fhall have Ann Page for myfelf? by gar, I vill kill de jack prieft; and I have appointed mine hoft of de Farterre to measure our weapon; by gar, I will myself have Ann Page.

Quic. Sir. the maid loves you, and all fhall be well: we must give folks leave to prate; what, the good-jer! Caius. Rugby, come to the court with me;by gar, if I have not Ann Page, I shall turn your head out of my door;follow my heels, Rugby,

[Exe. Caius and Rugby.

Quic. You fhall have An fools-head of your own. No, I know Ann's mind for that; never a woman in Windfor knows more of Ann's mind than I do, nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heav'n. Fent. [within.] Who's within there, hoa?

Quic. Who's there, I trow? come near the house, I pray you.

Enter Mr. Fenton.

Fent. How now, good woman, how doft thou?
Quic. The better, that it pleases your good worship

to ask.

Fent. What news? how does pretty mistress Ann? Quic. In truth, Sir, and the is pretty, and honeft, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell that by the e way, I praise heav'n for it.

you

Fent. Shall I do any good, think'ft thou? fhall I not lofe my fuit?

Quic. Troth, Sir, all is in his hands above; but notwithstanding, mafter Fenton, I'll be fworn on a book, fhe loves you; have not your worship a wart above your eye?

Fent. Yes, marry, have I; and what of that?

Quic. Well, thereby hangs a tale; good faith, it is fuch another Nan; but, I deteft, an honeft maid as ever broke bread; we had an hour's talk of that wart: 1 fhall never laugh but in that maid's company! but, indeed, he is given too much to allicholly and mufing; but for you- Well- go to

Fent. Well, I fhall fee her to-day; hold, there's money for thee: let me have thy voice in my behalf; if thou feeft her before me, commend me.

have

1 Quic. Will I? ay, faith, that we will: and I will
tell your worship p more of the wart, the next time we
e confidence, and of
other wooers.
Fent. Well, farewel, I am in great hafte now. [Exit
I
Quic. Farewel to your worship. Truly, an honeft
gentleman, but Ann loves him not; I know Ann's
mind as well as another does. Out upon't, what have
I forgot?

[Exit.

A CT II.

SCENE, before Page's House.

Enter Mrs. Page, with a letter.

Mrs. PAGE.

HAT, have I 'fcap'd love-letters in the holy

W day-time of my beauty, and am I now a subject

for them? let me fee:1

"Afk me no reafon, why I love you; for tho' love ufe reafon for his precifian, he admits him not for his counsellor: you are not young, no more am I go to then, there's fympathy you are merry, fo am I; ha! ha! then there's more fympathy; you love fack, and fo do I; would you defire better fympathy? let it fuffice thee, mirefs Page, at the leaft if the love of a foldier can fuffice, that I love thee. I will not fay, pity me, 'tis not a foldier-like phrafe; but I fay, love me :

By me, thine own true Knight, by day or night,
Or any kind of light, with all his might,
For thee to fight.
John Falfaff."

What a Herod of Jury is this? O wicked, wicked world! one that is well nigh worn to pieces with age, to fhow himself a young gallant! what unweigh'd behaviour hath this Flemish drunkard pickt, i'th'devil's name, out of my converfation, that he dares in this manner affay me? why, he hath not been thrice in my Company: what fhould I fay to him? I was then frugal of my mirth, heav'n forgive me why, I'll exhibit (11) a bill in the parliament for the putting down of

fat

(11) a bill in the parliament for the putting down of men:] What, Mrs. Page, put down the whole fpecies unius ob noxam, for a fingle

offender's

fat men: how fhall I be reveng'd on him? for reveng'd ? I will be, as fure as his guts are made of puddings. Enter Mrs. Ford.

Mrs. Ford. Miftrefs Page, truft me, I was going to your houfe.

Mrs. Page. And truft me, I was coming to you; you look very ill.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have to fhew to the contrary.

Mrs. Page. 'Faith, but you do, in my mind.

Mrs. Ford. Well, I do then; yet I fay, I could shew you to the contrary: O miftrefs Page, give me fome

Mrs. Page. What's the matter, woman?

Mrs. Ford. O woman! if it were not for one trifling refpe&t, I could come to fuch honour.

Mrs. Page. Hang the trifle, woman, take the honour; what is it? difpenfe with trifles; what is it?

Mrs. Ford. If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment, or fo, I could be knighted.

Mrs. Page. What, thou lieft! Sir Alice Ford! the fe Knights will hack, and fo thou shouldft not alter the article of thy gentry.

Mrs. Ford. We burn day-light; here, read, read; perceive, how I might be knighted: I fhall think the worfe of fat men, as long as I have an eye to make difference of men's liking; and yet he would not Twear; prais'd women's modefty; and gave fuch orderly and well-behaved reproof to all uncomeliness,. that I would have fworn his difpofition would have

But

We

offender's trefpafs? Don't be fo unreafonable in your anger. 'tis a falfe charge against you. I am perfuaded, a fhoit monofyllable is dropt out, which, once reftor'd, would qualify the matter. must neceffarily read, for the putting down of fat men-Mrs. Ford Tays in the very enfuing fcene, I shall think the worse of fat men, as long as I bave an eye, &c. And in the old Quarto's, Mrs. Page, so foon as the has read the letter, fays, Well, 1 full truft fat men the vorfe, while I live, for his fake: And he is call'd, the fat Knight, the greafy Knight, by the women, throughout the Play.

gone

gone to the truth of his words; but they do no more adhere, and keep place together, than the hundredth pfalm to the tune of Green Sleeves. What tempeft, I trow, threw this whale, with fo many tun of oil in his belly, a'fhore at Windfor? how fhall I be reveng'd on him? I think, the best way were to entertain him with hope, 'till the wicked fire of luft have melted him in his own greafe. Did you ever hear the like?

Mrs. Page. Letter for letter, but that the name of Page and Ford differs. To thy great comfort in this mystery of ill opinions, here's the twin-brother of thy letter; but let thine inherit firft, for, I proteft, mine never fhall. I warrant, he hath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank-fpace for different names; nay, more; and thefe are of the fecond edition: he will print them out of doubt, for he cares not what he puts into the prefs, when he would put us two. I had rather be a giantess, and lie under mount Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty lafcivious turtles, ere one chafte man.

Mrs Ford. Why, this is the very fame, the very hand, the very words; what doth he think of us?

Mrs, Page. Nay, I know not; it makes me almoft ready to wrangle with mine own honefty. I'll entertain myfelf like one that I am not acquainted withal for, fure, unless he knew fome ftrain in me, that Ï know not myself, he would never have boarded me in this fury.

Mrs. Ford. Boarding, call it you? I'll be fure to keep him above deck.

Mrs. Page. So will I; if he come under my hatches, I'll never to fea again. Let's be reveng'd on him let's appoint him a meeting, give him a fhow of comfort in his fuit, and lead him on with a fine baited delay, 'till he hath pawn'd his horfes to mine Hoft of the Garter.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, I will confent to act any villainy againft him, that may not fully the charinefs of our honefty: oh, that my husband faw this letter! it would give eternal food to his jealousy.

Mrs. Page.