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And as I find her, fo am I affected. 'Till then, farewel, Sir; he must needs go in, Her father will be angry. [Exe. Mrs. Page and Ann.

Fent. Farewel, gentle mistress; farewel, Nan.

Quic. This is my doing now. Nay, said I, will you caft away your child on a fool, and a physician ? look on master Fenton : this is my doing.

Fent. I thank thee; and I pray thee, once to-night Give my sweet Nan this ring : there's for thy pains.

[Exit. Quic. Now heav'n send thee good fortune ! A kind heart he hath, a woman would run through fire and water for such a kind heart. But yet, I would my maiter had mistress Ann, or I would Mr. Slender had her; or, in footh, I would Mr. Fenton had her. I will do what I can for them all three, for so I have promis'd : and I'll be as good as my word, but speciously for Mr. Fenton. Well, I must ano errand to Sir John Falstaff from my two mistresses ; what a beast am I to slack its

[Exit, SCENE, changes to the Garter-Inn.

Enter Falstaff and Bardolph. Fal. Ardolph, I say.

Bard. Here, Sir. Fal. Go fetch me a quart of fack, put a toast in't. [Exit Bard.] Have I liv'd to be carry'd in a basket, like a barrow of butchers offal, and to be thrown into the Thames ? well, if I be serv'd such another trick, I'll

brains ta'en out and butter'd, and give them to a dog for a new-year's gift. The rogues flighted me into the river, with as little remorse (20) as they



have my

(20) As they would have drown'd a blind bitch's puppies. ] I have ventur’d to transpose the adjective here, against the authority of the printed copies. I know, in horses, a col: from a blind stallion loses much of the value it might otherwise have; but are puppies ever drown'd the sooner, for coming from a blind birch ? Two other para {ages in cur Author countenance the transposition I have made.



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would have drown'd a bitch's blind puppies, fifteen i'ch' litter ; and you may know, by my size, that I have a kind of alacrity in finking: if the bottom were as deep as hell, I should down. I had been drown's, bot that the shore was shelvy and fallow; a death that I abhor; for the water swells a man; and what a thing hould I have been, when I had been swell’d? I thould have been a mountain of mummy.

Enter Bardolph. Now, is the sack brew'd ?

Bard. Here's Mrs. Quickly, Sir, to speak with you.

Fal. Come, let me pour in some fack to the Thamesa water; for my belly's as cold as if I had swallow'd snow-balls, for pills to cool the reins. Call her in. Bard. Come in woman.

Enter Miftress Quickly. Quis. By your leave : I cry you mercy. Give your worship good morrow.

Fal. Take away these challices : go brew me a pottle of fack finely.

Bard. With eggs, Sir ?

Fal. Simple of itself: I'll no pullet-sperm in my brewage. How now?

Quic, Marry, Sir, I come to your worship from miltress Ford.

Fal. Mistress Ford? have had Ford enough; I was thrown into the Ford ; I have my belly full of Ford.

Quic. Alas the day! good heart, that was not her fault: she does fo take on with her men; they mistook their erection.

Fal. So did I mine, to build on a foolish woman's promise.

Launci, in 2 Gent, of Verona.

-One, that I fav'd from drowning, when three or four of his blind brothers and sisters went to it.

And, lago, in Orbello :
Come, be a man; drown thyself? drown cats and blind pippies.

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Quic. Well, the laments; Sir, for it, that it would yern your heart to see it. Her husband


this morning a birding;, the desires you once more to come to her between eight and nine, I must carry her word quickly'; she'll make you amends, I warrant you:

Fal. Well, I will visit her; tell her so, and bid her think, what a man is : let her confider his frailty, and then judge of my merit.

Quic. I will tell her.
Fal. Do so. Between nine and ten, fay'st thou ?
Quic. Eight and nine, Sir.
Fal. Well, be gone; I will not miss her.
Quic. Peace be with you, Sir.

[Exit. Fal. I marvel, I hear not of master Brook ; he sent me word to stay within : I like his money well. On, here he comes.

Enter Ford. Ford. Bless you, Sir.

Fal. Now, mafter. Brook, you come to know what hath pass'd between me and Ford's wife.

Ford. That, indeed, Sir John, is my business.

Fal. Master Brock, I will not lye to you; I was as. her house the hour the appointed me.

Ford. And you sped, Sir?
Fal. Very ill-favour’dly, master Brook.
Ford. How, Sir, did the change her determination ?

Fal. No, master Brook; but the peaking cornuto her husband, master Brook, dwelling in a continual larum of jealousy, comes me in the initant of our encounter; after we had embrac'd, kiss'd, protested, and as it were spoke the prologue of our comedy; and at his heels a rabble of his companions, thither provos? and inftigated by his distemper, and, forsooth, to search: his house for his wife's love..

Ford. What, while you were there ?:
Fal. While I was there.

Ford. And did he search for you, and could not find you? Fal. You shall hcar. As good luck would have it,


N. 5


comes in one mistress Page, gives intelligence of Ford's approach, and by her invention, and Ford's wife's diftraction, they convey'd me into a buck-baket.

Ford. A buck-baiket?

Fal. Yea, a buck-basket; ramm'd me in with foul Thirts and mocks, socks, foul stockings, and greasy napkins; that, matter Brook, there was the rankeit compound of villainous smell, that ever offended nortril.

Ford. And how long lay you there?

Fal. Nay, you shall hear, mafter Brook, what I have fuffer'd, to bring this woman to evil for your good. Being thus cramm’d in the basket, a couple of Ford's knaves, his hinds, were callid forth by their mistress, to carry me in the name of foul cloaths to Datchet-lane; they took me on their shoulders, met the jealous knave. their master in the door, who ask'd them once or twice what they had in their basket; I quak'd for fear, left the lunaric kuave would have search'd it; but fate, ordaining he should be a cuckold, held his hand. Well, on went he for a search, and away went I for foul cloaths; but mark the sequel, maiter Brook; I suffered the pangs of three egregious deaths : first, an intolerable fright, to be detected by a jealous rotten bell-weather ; next to compass'd like a good bilbo, in tie circumference of a peck, hilt to point, heel to head ; and then to be stopt in, like a strong distillarion, with stinking cloaths that fretted in their own grease: think of that, a man of my kidney ; think of that, that am as subject to heat as butter; a man of continual dissolution and thaw; it was a miracle to 'scape fuffocation. . And in the height of this bath, when I was more than half stew'd in grease, like a Dutch diin, to be thrown into the Thames, and cool'd glowing hot, in that surge, like a horse-loe ; think of that; hisfing hot; think of that, master Brook.

Ford. In good sadness, Sir, I am forry that for my Sake you futford all this. My suit is then desperate ; you'll undertake her no more? ta'. Maiter brock; I will be shrown into Etna, as I


have been into Thames, ere I will leave her thus. Her husband is this morning gone a birding; I have receiv'd from her another embassy of meeting ; 'twixt eight and nine is the hour, master Brook.

Ford. 'Tis past eight already, Sir.

Fal. Is it - I will then address me to my appointment. Come to me at your convenient leisure, and you shall know how I speed; and the conclusion thall be crown’d with your enjoying her; adieu, you shall have her, master Brook; master Brook, you shall cuckold Ford.

[Exit. Ford. Hum! ha! is this a vision ? is this a dream ? do I sleep? master Ford, awake; awake, master Ford; there's a hole made in your best coat, master Ford ;this 'cis to be married ! this 'tis to have linen and buck-baskets ! well, I will proclaim myself what I am; I will now take the leacher; he is at my house ; he cannot 'scape me ; 'tis in posible, he should ; he can

into a half-penny purse, nor into a pepperbox. . Bat, left the devil that guides him should aidi him, I will search impoffible places ; tho' what I am. I cannot avoid, yet to be what I would not, shall not make me tame: if I have horns to make one mad, let: the proverb go with me, I'll be horn-mad. [Exit.

not creep



SCENE, Page's House.
Enter Miffrejs Page; Mistress Quickly, and William..

Mrs. Page,
S he at Mt. Ford's already, chink’t thon?

Quic. Sure, he is by this, or will be presently; bu: truly he is very courageous mad, about his throwing into the water; Mrs. Ford desires you to come suddenly..

Mrs. Page. I'll be with her by and by; I'll but bring my young man here to school. Look, where his master

comes ; ;

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