Is't not pity

Per. 'Tis well then.

Estif. Go handsome off, and leave the house

clear.

Per. Well.

Estif. That little stuff we'll use shall follow after;

Per. Clear but that question.

Estif. I'll put the writings into your hand.
Per. Well then.

Estif. And you shall keep them safe.

Per. I'm satisfied. Would I had the wench too!

Estif. When she has married him,

So infinite his love is linked unto her,

You, I, or any one that helps at this pinch,
May have-Heaven knows what.

Per. I'll remove my trunks straight,
And take some poor house by; 'tis but four days.
Estif. I have a poor friend; there we will be.

both.

Mar. Come, let's go in. Are all the rooms kept sweet, wench?

Estif. They're sweet and neat. [Erit PEREZ. Mar. Why, where's your husband?

Estif. Gone, madam.

SCENE I.-A Chamber.

Enter MARGARITTA and ALTEA,

Alt. ARE you at ease now? Is your heart at

rest,

Now you
have got a shadow, an umbrella,
To keep the scorching world's opinion
From your fair credit?

Mar. I am at peace, Altea.

If he continue but the same he shews,
And be a master of that ignorance
He outwardly professes, I am happy.
Alt. You're a made woman.

Mar. But if he should prove now
A crafty and dissembling kind of husband,
One read in knavery, and brought up in the art
Of villainy concealed?

Alt. My life, an innocent.
Mar. That's it I aim at.

That's it I hope too, then I'm sure I rule him:
For innocents are like obedient children,
Brought up under a hard mother-in-law, a cruel,
Who, being not used to breakfasts and colla-
tions,

When they have coarse bread offered, are thank

ful,

And take it for a favour too.

Are the rooms made ready

To entertain my friends? I long to dance now. Let me have a song. Is the great couch up The duke of Medina sent?

Alt. Your house is nothing now but various pleasures.

The gallants begin to gaze too.

Mar. Let them gaze on.

I was brought up a courtier, high and happy;
And company is my delight, and courtship,

Enter a second Lady.

2 Lady. Madam, the lady JuliaLeon. That's a bawd;

A three-piled bawd; bawd major to the army. 2 Lady. Has brought her coach to wait upon your ladyship,

And to be informed if you will take the air this morning.

Leon. The neat air of her nunnery.

Mar. Tell her no; i' the afternoon I'll call on her.

2 Lady. I will, madam.

[Exit. Leon. Faith, madam, in my little understanding,

You'd better entertain your honest neighbours, Your friends about ye, that may speak well of

ye,

And give a worthy mention of your bounty.
Mar. How now, what's this?

Leon. 'Tis only to persuade ye
Courtiers are tickle things to deal withal,

A kind of march-pane men that will not last, madam;

An egg and pepper goes farther than their por

tions;

And in a well-knit body, a poor parsnip
Will play his prize above their strong potables.
Mar. The fellow's mad!

Leon. He, that shall counsel ladies,
That have both liquorish and ambitious eyes,
Is either mad or drunk, let him speak gospel.
Alt. He breaks out modestly.

Leon. Pray ye be not angry;

My indiscretion has made bold to tell ye
What you'll find true.

Mar. Thou dar'st not talk?
Leon. Not much, madam;

You have a tie upon your servant's tongue;
He dare not be so bold as reason bids him;
Twere fit there were a stronger on your temper.
Ne'er look so stern upon me! I'm your husband:
But what are husbands? Read the New World's
Wonders,

Such husbands as this monstrous world produces,
And you will scarce find such strange deformities;
They're shadows to conceal your venal virtues ;
Sails to your mills, that grind with all occasions;
Balls that lie by you, to wash out your stains;

And bills nailed up with horns before your doors, To rent out wantonness.

Mar. Do you hear him talk?

Leon. I've done, madam:

An ox once spoke, as learned men deliver;
Shortly I shall be such, then I'll speak wonders.
'Till when I tie myself to my obedience. [Exit.
Mar. First I'll untie myself. Did you mark
the gentleman,

How boldly and how saucily he talked,
And how unlike the lump I took him for!
The piece of ignorant dough ! he stood up to me,
And rated my commands.

This was your providence,

Your wisdom, to elect this gentleman,

Your excellent forecast in the man, your know, ledge!

What think ye now ?

Alt. I think him an ass still .

This boldness, some of your people have blown into him,

This wisdom too, with strong wine ; 'tis a tyrant, And a philosopher also, and finds out reasons.

Mar. I'll have my cellar locked, no school kept

there,

Juan. A provident charity. Are you for the wars, sir?

Caca. I am not poor enough to be a soldier, Nor have I faith enough to ward a bullet; There is no lining for a trench, I take it. Juan. Ye have said wisely.

Caca. Had you but my money,

You'd swear it, colonel. I had rather drill at home

A hundred thousand crowns, and with more honour,

Than exercise ten thousand fools with nothing.
A wise man safely feeds, fools cut their fingers.
San. A right state usurer. Why dost not

marry,

And live a reverend justice?

Caca. Is it not nobler to command a reverend

justice, than to be one?

And for a wife, what need I marry, captain, When every courteous fool, that owes me money, Owes me his wife too, to appease my fury?

Juan. Wilt thou go to dinner with us?

Caca. I will go, and view the pearl of Spain, the orient

Fair one, the rich one too; and I will be respected.

I bear my patent here; I will talk to her;
And when your captainships shall stand aloof,
And pick your noses, I will pick the purse
Of her affection.

Old Wom. Ha! What would ye have?
Per. My goods again. How came my trunks
all open?

Old Wom. Are your trunks all open?
Per. Yes, and clothes gone,

And chains and jewels. How she smells like hung beef,

The palsy, and pick-locks! Fye, how she belches The spirit of garlic!

Old Wom. Where's your gentlewoman? The young fair woman?

Per. What's that to my question?

She is my wife, and gone about my business.
Maid. Is she your wife, sir?

Per. Yes, sir: is that a wonder?

Is the name of wife unknown here?

Old Wom. Is she duly and truly your wife? Per. Duly and truly my wife! I think so, For I married her. It was no vision, sure! Maid. She has the keys, sir.

Per. I know she has; but who has all my goods, spirit?

Old Wom. If you be married to that gentle

woman,

You are a wretched man: she has twenty husbands.

Maid. She tells you true.

Old Wom. And she has cozened all, sir.

Per. The devil she has! I had a fair house with her,

Old Wom. You're cozened too; 'tis none of her's, good gentleman,

It is a lady's.

Maid. The lady Margaritta; she was her ser

vant,

And kept the house; but going from her, sir,
For some lewd tricks she played.

Per. Plague o' the devil!

Am I, in the full meridian of my wisdom,
Cheated by a stale quean! What kind of lady
Is that that owns the house?

Old Wom. A young sweet lady.
Per. Of low stature?

Old Wom. She's indeed but little, but she's wondrous fair.

Per. I feel I'm cozened:
Now I am sensible I am undone.
This is the very woman sure, that cousin,
She told me would entreat but for four days
To make the house hers-I am entreated sweetly.
Maid. When she went out this morning, I saw,
sir,

She had two women at the door attending,
And there she gave them things, and loaded
them :
But what they were-

-I heard your trunks too

Per. They were mine while they were laden; But now they've cast their calves, they're not worth owning.

Was she her mistress, say you?

Old Wom. Her own mistress, her very mistress, sir; and all you saw

About and in that house was hers.

Per. No plate, no jewels, nor no hangings?
Maid. Not a farthing; she's poor, sir, a poor
shifting thing.
Per. No money?

Old Wom. Abominable poor, as poor as we are,
Money as rare to her, unless she steal it.
But for one single gown her lady gave her,
She might go bare, good gentlewoman.
Per. I'm mad now:

I think I am as poor as she, I'm wild else.
One single suit I have left too, and that's all,
And if she steals that she must flay me for it.
Where does she use?

Old Wom. You may find the truth as soon. Alas, a thousand concealed corners, sir, she lurks in;

And here she gets a fleece, and there another, And lives in mists and smokes where none can find her.

Per. Is she a whore too?

Old Wom. Little better, gentleman :
I dare not say she is so, sir, because

She's yours, sir: these five years she has firked
A pretty living.

Per. She has firked me finely.

A whore and thief; two excellent moral learnings

In one she saint. I hope to see her legend.
Have I been feared for my discoveries,
And been courted by all women to conceal them;
Have I so long studied the art of this sex,
And read the warning to young gentlemen;
Have I professed to tame the pride of ladies,
And make them bear all tests; and am I tricked
now?

Caught in my own noose? Here's a rial left yet; There's for your lodging, and your meat for a week;

A silk-worm lives at a more plentiful ordinary,
And sleeps in a sweeter box.

Farewell, great grandmother;

If I do find you were an accessary,

'Tis but the cutting off two smoaking minutes!
I'll hang ye presently.

Old Wom. And I deserve it-I tell you truth.
Per. Not I, I am an ass, mother.

Old Wom. O the rogue, the villain! Is this
usage for the fair sex.

[Exeunt.

SCENE V.-A grand apartment.

Enter the DUKE OF MEDINA, JUAN DE CASTRO, ALONZO, SANCHIO, CACAFOGO, and Attendants. Duke. A goodly house.

Juan. And richly furnished too, sir.

Alon. Hung wantonly; I like that preparation; It stirs the blood into a hopeful banquet, And intimates the mistress free and jovial;

Those few slight pleasures, that inhabit here, sir, I do beseech your grace command; they're yours; Your servant but preserves them to delight ye.

Duke. I thank ye, lady. I am bold to visit ye, Once more to bless mine eyes with your sweet beauty.

It has been a long night, since you left the court, For, till I saw you now, no day broke to me. Mar. Bring in the duke's meat.

San. She's most excellent.

Juan. Most admirable fair, as e'er I looked on; I rather would command her than my regiment. Caca. I'll have a fling; 'tis but a thousand du

cats,

Which I can cozen up in ten days.

Enter LEON.

Mar. Why, where's this dinner?
Leon. 'Tis not ready, madam,

Nor shall it be, until I know the guests too,
Nor are they fairly welcome till I bid them.
Juan. Is not this my Alferes? he looks another
thing;
Are miracles a-foot again?

Mar. Why, sirrah; why, sirrah, you !
Leon. I hear you, saucy woman;

And, as you are my wife, command your ab

sence,

And know your duty; 'tis the crown of modesty. Duke. Your wife!

Leon. Yes, good iny lord, I am her husband, And, pray, take notice, that I claim that honour, And will maintain it.

Caca. If thou be'st her husband, .

I am determined thou shalt be my cuckold;
I'll be thy faithful friend.

Leon. Peace, dirt and dunghill!

I will not lose my anger on a rascal.
Provoke me more, I'll beat thy blown-up body,
Till thou rebound'st again like a tennis-ball.
Caca. I'll talk with you another time.
Alon. This is miraculous!

{Exit.