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Well, yonder she is, talking to that weazle-faced Jer. Oh, Lord, Sir! two guineas ! Do you lend man in the big wig-hobble after her.
me this? Is there no trick in it? Well, sir, I'll Old. An unmannerly, insignificant, ignorant give you my bond for security. I shall take notice of you, Mr Sea-Lieutenant, I Free. No, no, you have given me your face shall take notice of you!
[Erit. for security; any one would swear you do not Jer. Look you, master, I'll tell you what it is look like a cheat: and come to me whenever you -I'll buy that book of choice sayings from you, will, and you shall have what money you please if so be you'll take half a crown for it, and stay of me. till lawyer Splitcause comes to lend me the mo | Jer. By my soul he's a curious fine gentleman ! ney to pay you.
but may I depend upon you? Will you stand · Free. Lend you! Here, I'll pay him-I am by me? sorry, squire, a man of your estate should want | Free. Here's my hand. money.
Jer. That's enough. Never stir, but the next Jer. Why, I am not at age yet, you must un- cross word my mother gives me, but I'll leave derstand.
her directly, and come off to you-But now I Free. At age! You are at age already, man, have got money, I'll go pay the man at the gate to have spent a fortune : there are younger than two shillings I owe him, for I believe the poor you, who, to my knowledge, have kept their girls soul wants it; and his wife has been two or three these three years; ruined half a dozen trades- times at chambers to dun me.
(Exit. men, and lost as many thousand pounds at play. But what is the reason, 'squire, that you will not enter NANLY,
| Enter Manly, Mrs BLACKACRE, and MAJOR give your consent to my marrying your mother?
OLDFOX. Jer. Why you would not be such a fool, would | Man. Confound your cause! Can't you lose you?
it without me? which you are like enough to do, Free. Why I would not be a fool, if I could if it be, as you say, an honest one: I'll suffer help it: but has not she a good jointure!
for it no longer. Jer. A good jointure! If she has, she knows Mrs Black. Nay, but, captain, you are my what to do with it: she will let no body have a chief witness-And Mr Splitcause tells me we finger in the pie but herself, I can tell you that are pricked down for the next hearing. Lord ! Come a little this way-Why, you would not methinks you should take pleasure in walking believe what an old plague my mother is; she'll here, as balf you see now do: for they have no never allow me sixpence in my pocket; so that I business here, I assure you. am ashamed to go into company, because I have Man. Yes, but I assure you, then, their businot wherewithal to call for a glass of wine, and ness is to persecute me 'Sdeath! I can't turn do as the rest do. And, for a wench !-I was but one puppy or other has me by the sleeve, but making a little fun with our laundress's with impertinent inquiries or fulsome complidaughter upon the staircase, the other night, and ments: I have been acting the sign of the salushe threatened to send the poor girl to Bridewell. tation this half hour, with a bowed body and my Free. Sure!
hat off, to one of your law serjeants yonder ; Jer. Upon my word she did! Oh, you don't while he was loading me with professions of serknow what a woman she is.
vice and friendship, though, in all probability, he Free. Well, but 'squire, methinks this might cared not if I was at the devil; and I was wisheasily be remedied: if I was you, I would go to ing him hanged out of my way. law with her.
Mrs Black. Well, well, sir, compose yourself Jer. Law! Lord help your head! Why she is a little, and every thing shall be made agreeable. as big a lawyer as any in our inn; and would not Jerry, why, Jerry !--Mercy on me, major, did not desire better sport-Besides, I would not care to you leave my son here? do that, for fear she should marry out of spite, Old. Yes, madam, but perhaps the young genand cut down my trees. I should hate to see my tleman is stepped aside. father's wife kissed and slopped by another man Mrs Black. Jerry Blackacre !. --and our trees are the purest, nice, shady, even | Free. Your son will be here in a minute, matwigs!
| dam; he's only just gone out of the hall about a Free. Come, 'squire, let your mother and your little business. trees fall, as she pleases, rather than go of this Mrs Black. Out of the hall ! Gads my life! fashion all your life-But you shall be able to Out of the hall! deal with her the right way.
Free. Don't make yourself uneasy, madam; Jer. Nay, if I had any friend to stand by me,' I'll answer for it he'll come to no mischief. I would shew her a trick worth two of it, I can Mrs Black. Sir, I don't direct my discourse to tell you that.
you-But I'll so rate this careless jackanapesFree. Suppose I was to be your friend! Look Come along, major, and help me to look for you, 'squire, I don't use to profess much ; how- | him. ever, there's a trifle for your present occasions.
[Exeunt all but MANLY and FreeMAN, Free. Well, sir, how have you past your time, 1 Man. And pray, sir, what was it you said of since you came here? You have had a great deal the lady? of patience, sure.
Nov. Nothing, nothing !-some story that I heard Man. Patience, indeed! for I have drawn but about her cuckolding her husband; that was all. one quarrel and two law-suits upon me.
Man. I hope she may trounce you severely; Free. The devil! How could you quarrel here? | nay, and I hope what you said of her was true;
Man. How could I refrain ?-But let's get off, that you may be made the more glaring example. for I see another quarrel coming upon me.
Nov. Weil, but my dear creature! how can Free. What do you mean?
you be so inhuman to any person, that never did Man. Ask no questions, but walk this way. you any injury?
Man. Because I would have such mischievous Enter Novel.
triflers as you are punished for your tattling and
effeminacy: I would have you taught the differNoo. Hey! captain! captain Manly!
ence between satire and defamation; and learn Man. What now?
some other topic for your nonsensical conversaNoo. I beg pardon; but I thought it was you. tions, besides the character and conduct of the Have you been in the house hearing the debates ? absent : you male members of the tea-table, who What are they upon to-day?
are, if possible, worse enemies to women, than Man. Considering what passed between you they are to one another. and me at our last interview, sir, I cannot help Nov. Well upon my honour, this is pleasant ! being a little astonished at the familiarity of this especially from you, who are remarkable for asalutation.
busing all the world. Nov. Pho, pho! a mere trifle. Don't men- / Man. Do you hear him, Freeman? Plaintion it-It has been a very fine morning, sir. dealing may well be in disrepute, when 'tis con
Free. Yes, sir, the weather has been tolerable. | founded with impudence and scandal : but if I Nov. It was very cold yesterday.
stay here any longer, I find I shall be tempted to Free. I believe it might, sir.
beat him. Nov. Captain, what do you think brings me to Free. Nay, prithee don't leave us. Westminster-hall ?
Man. Yes, yes, I must; I shall bring myself Man. Why, I suppose somebody has thrashed | into another scrape else : besides, I see a person you lately for being impertinent, and you are just now come into the hall, that looks for mecome to take the law of thein.
Stand out of the way.
[Erit. Nov. No, that's not it. But I suppose you | Nov. This is a sad brutish fellow, sir; I wonhave heard
der you will keep him company. Man. Heard what?
Free. Why, faith, sir, I don't know how it is; Nov. Why, that I am to be played the devil I think I am bewitched to him, for my part—and with; costs and damages, and the Lord knows yet, hang him! he has some good qualities, too, 'what.
when one comes to be thoroughly acquainted Man. No, really, I have heard nothing about | with him. the matter; but what is it? though I am sure you Nov. Ay, sir! Pray, what may they be, for I are in the wrong before you tell me.
never could find them out? Nov. Why, you must know, sir-Ha, ha, ha! | Free. Why, I think 'tis generally agreed, sir, Upon my soul it is so ridiculous a circumstance, that he has a tolerable good understanding. that I can hardly think of it without laughing - Nov. Why, really, I have heard people say You must know, sir, I was some tiine ago at the so; and vet, to me, he has always appeared the house of a considerable merchant in the city, stupidest animal breathing. where a certain lady's name was brought up; and, Free. Then as to courage.--It must be allowin the course of the conversation, I happened to ed he is brave. mention some things which I had heard, and Nov. He is quarrelsome, if you please; but which all the world believe to be fact, égad! | his bravery, I fancy, will admit of some dispute. However, as you may guess, I did not imagine You have heard, no doubt, of his late affair with the discourse would have gone any further.
the French? Free. But I suppose the lady had a friend in Free. Ay, sir; what of that? company, sir.
Nov. Why, I should not care to havė my name Nov. Oh, sir! I know how the matter came mentioned as the author of such a thing; but I about now--Yes, yes, the woman of the house assure you there are some very odd reports fly was her sister-in-law, which I never dreamt of: about ; and this, I believe, you may depend the intolerable Jezebel went and told her every upon, that he will be brought to a court-martial thing that passed : an attorney came the next for his behaviour on that occasion. morning to serve me with a copy of a writ; and Free. I am glad to hear this, sir, with all my now they bave brought me here to make me prove heart; for, you must know, I happened to be a my words, as they call it,
partner in the action you mention, Vol. II.
Nov. Were you, sir?
| Man. Well, and what's that to me? You must Free. Yes, faith; but I was ignorant, till now, tie your calf up, if you are afraid of his being of the dangerous situation we were in; however, stolen. I am extremely obliged to you for your intelli Mrs Black. But which way did he run, major? gence, as I dare swear the captain will be May be he is gone to that seducing villain al
Nov. Yonder goes my attorney-I'll just speak | ready; and he has got my writings with bim, all two or three words to him, and be back with you that concerns my estate, my jointure, my husagain in an instant.
band's deed of gift, and the evidences for all my Free. Hold, sir! we must not part so. You suits now depending. must go along with me, sir, and tell this story to Man. I ain glad of that ; for, if you have lost captain Manly.
your evidence, your cause can't go on, and I am Nov. Sir, I have not time at present-I—there's at liberty. a gentleman beckons me, owes a thousand pounds, Old. Mr Jerry went off in a great passion, maand goes out of town to-morrow morning-Mr dam; I hope he won't commit any rash action,
[Erit. to do himself a mischief. Free. Ha, ha, ha! Well, we shall meet again. Mrs Black. No, no, I know him better than
so; he will never be felo de se that way: but he Enter JERRY BLACKACRE.
may go and chuse a guardian of his own head, How now, 'squire, what's the matter?
and so be felo de ses beins; for he has not chosen Jer. Nothing : I don't care; nothing's the mat- one yet. ter : but if ever I go home again with her, I wish | Man. Which I hope he may, with all my I may never stir! You said you would stand by heart! me.
Mrs Black. Oh, do you so, sir? then it seems Free. Well, and so I will. Who has injured you are in the plot.-Well, look to it; I'll play
fast and loose with you all yet, if there be law, Jer. Why, my mother : she caught me at the and my minor and writings are not forthcoining. place there, changing the money you gave me, I'll bring my action of detinue or trover---but I'll and few at me like any mad, and pulled my hair, first go and seek and called me all the names that ever she could Man. Well, I shall not stay here any longer. think of-But if I don't be up with her! you will Mrs Black. Stir a step, stir a step, at your see! and if you won't take me with you, I'll go peril, till the courts are broke up, and I'll serve for a soldier.
you with a rule of contempt. Free. Take you with me, 'squire ! do you de
[Exeunt Mrs BLACKACRE and MAJOR sire to go with me?
OldFox. Jer. Yes, 'tis all my desire.
Man. Now, sir, go on.—You have been with Free. How shall I act in this affair? 'gad, Olivia, you say. 'twill be a good stroke towards making something | Fide. Yes, sir, I have seen and spoke with of the widow in earnest; at least, of getting my her. right out of her hands.- [ Aside. --Well, 'squire, Man. Well, and she received you kindly? I'll tell you what, if you are really serious
Fide. Kinder than you would think, sir. Jer. Oh, Lord! yonder she is coming in at the Man. That's well-come, now, let me hear gate with that old fellow : if you will come, come what she said to you. away; for I won't stay any longer to be beat and Fide. Said to ine, sir? abused by her.
Man. Ay, what was her business with you? Free. Nay, since that's the case, have with Come, come! Why don't you speak? You are you, my boy.
so tedious! What was it she had to communiJer. Ay, and now let's see how she'll be able cate? to help herself.
Fide. Modesty, sir, prevents my entering into
particulars ; I need only tell you, that her busiSCENE III.-Changes to the gate of Westmin ness with me bas proved of the most extraordister-hall.
nary kind; I am so shocked at the thoughts of
her behaviour, I cannot say more. Enter, from within, MANLY and Fidelta, and on
Man. Confusion ! the opposite side, Mrs Blackacre and MAJOR
Fide. I assure you, sir, I would not impose OLDFOX.
upon you by the forgery of a falsehood, and canMrs Black. A villain ! a rascal! I'll teach him not wrong her by any report of her, she is so better manners than to talk saucily to his mo- | wicked. ther !-.These are pretty doings, are they not? Man. Wicked! Sdeath, had she the impuMy son flies in my face; and when I go to cor
dence! rect him for it, he tells me, truly, he'll leave me, Fide. Impudence ! Oh, sir ! and go to the mate of your ship, who has offered Man. But what! How did she accost you? to take him.
Fide. When I came to the house, sir, I was conducted into her dressing-room, where I found Man. How so? her alone; and I took it for granted she would Fide. Her impudence and infidelity to you, have begun immediately with talking of you and sir, has made me loath her. your late difference with her; but, instead of Man. Well, sir, but I say the lady shall not that, sir, I had hardly sat down, when she gave be disappointed. me to understand she had desired to see me on Fide. Not disappointed, sir!-If ever I go my own account only; and was so bold, and so near her again, may you think ine as false to you forward
as she is ! hate and renounce me! Man. But in what terms did she express her Man. Well, well, if you won't, leave the matself?
ter to me; I'll take careFide. Her tongue, I confess, was silent, sir; Fide. You, sir !--You take care, sir !—Pray but her eyes conveyed such things
give me that odious key again, and let me return Man. Eyes! Eyes !--What, then, you have it with the contempt, the detestationonly had eye kindness from her; and your vanity Man, No, sir; this key is the instrument of has helped you, in this construction, so much to revenge, which fortune hath put into my hand; the lady's disadvantage ?
and, by Heaven, I'll make use of it. Fide. Not so, sir–At first, indeed, her eyes, Pidé. Revenge, sir !—what revenge? Disdain chiefly, were the interpreters of her thoughts; is best revenged by scorn; and faithless love by but, finding they spoke a language I could not, loving another. or would not, understand, she threw off the re-1 Man. Perhaps it may, where the object has straint, made a tender of her passion in direct once been esteemed; but, I now begin to think, terms; and, in short, sir, offered to prostitute I had never any share in her affections; and, that love to me, at half an hour's acquaintance, therefore, I'll take another method. which you have deserved whole years in vain. Fide. And what is your design, sir? .
Man. I'll not believe it-It is a damned lie of Man. Not a word more; here's Freeman your own contrivance ; come, I know 'tis a lie. coming towards us : we will disengage ourselves
Fide. I am sorry you should think so, sir : but, | from him as soon as we can, and talk of this athowever unlikely it may appear, I can give you fair further. proof.
Enter FREEMAN. Man. Proof!
Fide. Yes, sir; for I have seemed half con- Free. The most whimsical accident has hapsenting to her solicitations, and made a kind of pened to me here to-day, captain; the most unpromise to pay her a visit this night, at twelve expected, unaccountable-Ha, ha, ha! o'clock, when the family shall be asleep.
Man. What, the great boy has rose in rebelMan. Ha!
lion against the tyranny of his widow-mother, and Fide. For which purpose she has shewn me a put himself under your protection ! Have a care, back way into her apartment, where a lamp al- Freeman; though she is a fiend, and I wish her ways burns; for she will have no light in her at the devil, we are still to have a regard to juschamber, because her woman lies in an adjoining tice. closet-Nay, more, sir; she has given me the Free. Then we are to do ourselves justice, sure; key of the garden, to let myself in with, which which, I promise you, is all the use I shall make I have brought off.
of the 'squire's revolt in my favour. Where shall Man. The key of the garden! Let me see it. we dine --I know it well; and have a thousand times | Man. I was just thinking of it—Where can we gone, by the passage you mention, to our private | dine? interviews: I imagined it led to paradise, and an Free. Will you go to the King's Arms? angel of purity inhabited there; but I must think Man. Why, I don't much care if I do: but it of that no more-Did she say nothing to you of must be upon one condition, this husband of her's ?
Free. Name it. Fide. Yes, sir; she is actually married, and Man. That you shall not attempt to pin yourher husband gone out of town; but she expects self upon nie after dinner; I must positively have him very soon; and that, I suppose, made her the whole evening at my own disposal ; for my more urgent with me to come to night.
young volunteer and I have particular business. Man. And can you think of disappointing a Free. That's sufficient, sir; you know you allady upon such an occasion ?
ways make your own terms with me. Fide. I, sir! I should disappoint her more Man. Come then, young gentleman, lead the by going
SCENE I.—Manly's lodgings. (doux; deplore the necessity, which forced you
from her this morning, so much against your inManly enters in a surtout coat, followed by
clination; and appoint another meeting with her, FIDELIA.
at her own house, this evening, as soon as it shall Man. Then Freeman betrayed no marks of be dusk. surprise at being told I was gone abroad so early! Fide. Out of revenge, I suppose, sir ! and you are positive he had not the least suspi- Man. It is so—for I intend to go there. cion of my being out all night!
Fide. Sir, my life is devoted to your service; Fide. I believe not, sir.
but, however meanly you may think of me, I Man. So much the better, I have been sit- cannot descend so low as to the infamous office ting at the coffee-house these three hours, lest you would lay upon mę.—Excuse me, sir, I canknocking at the door at an unseasonable time not act the part of a pander, might alarm the family-Help me off with my Man. Your principles of honour I do not discoat—and now shut the door, and bolt it, that like, if they are sincere; but I tell you, you are no body may come in upon us unawares,
mistaken in the matter. Fide. Heigh ho!
Fide. Indeed, sir, I am not; I see all plain Man. What's the matter with you?
enough; but, upon my knees, I beg, if you have Frde. Nothing, sir.
the least regard for yourself, renounce this woMan. You have been crying!
man; give her up, and neverFide. I have not been very well, sir.
Man. What am I to think of your behaviMun. Come, you are a good lad; don't let our? Sure you would have me believe you love your spirits sink; I'll be your friend; you shall her yourself; which, indeed, I have all along fare as I do; let that content you.
suspected. Fide. I desire no better, sir.
| Fide. Indeed, sir, it is all my concern for Man. Take the pen and ink, and sit down your safety. there I am now convinced that what you told | Man. Methinks you might trust that to my me yesterday was truth; and Olivia is the vilest, care--but, once for all, I desire I may have and most profligate of her sex.
| no more impertinent disputing or advice-you Fide. Are you convinced, sir?--Are you in- have reason to know I am uualterable. deed convinced ? Then I hope
Fide. Sir, you must give up either Olivia or Man. Speak softly I suppose I need not tell me! you where I have been !
Man. Why so, sir ? What have you and Fide. Sir!
| Olivia to do with one another? Man. I say, I suppose I need not tell you, where Fide. Well, sir, let me hear your commands. I have been since we parted; I have been with Man. I have already told them to you—I Olivia; and she has bestowed on me a thousand would have you write this letter, to make the apcaresses, which I returned with seemingly an pointment; you shall keep it in person; and equal ardour.
when you have been with her some time, I will *Fide. Lord, sir, I am vastly sick of a sudden! come in at the back door, which you shall purMan. You are a coward—What ails you ? posely leave open, and catch you together.
Fide. I don't know, sir, I never was so oddly | Fide. Well, sir, and what then? taken in my life; but it will away again.
Man, Why then, sir, I will upbraid her Man. Listen to me, then, and be surprised falsehood, confront her impudence, boast of the yet more--I have passed myself upon Olivia for triumph I have had over her, and never see her
more. Fide. Por me, sir!
Fide. And is this really all you intend, sir? Man. Yes--Darkness, and the particularity | Man. All. of our situation, favoured the deceit; and I was Fide. I think you can have no kindness left cautious not to undeceive her, by speaking but for Olivia now, sir ; I think you can't-You little, and that softly; and leaving her this morn don't love her the least bit, captain, do you? ing before it was light.
Man. Love her! Damn her! I think of her Fide. Surely, sir, you will never go near this with abhorrence. abominable woman more!
Fide. Then, I will go and write the letter diMan. That we'll consider of—In part, my re- rectly, sir. venge is satisfied,
Free. (Speaks within) Well, well, I will inFide. Well, sir, what are your commands with troduce you.
Man. Do so—and open the door, for I think Man. Hear me! I would have you go im- I hear Freeman in the next room. mediately and write Olivia a very tender billet