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education has been very unexceptionable-I may say it for I chiefly made it my own care to inítiate her very infancy in the rudiments of virtue, and to impress upon her tender years a young odium and aversion to the very sight of men -ay, friend, she would ha' shrieked, if she had but seen a man, till she was in her teens. As I'm a person, 'tis true-She was never suffered to play with a male child, though but in coats; may, her very babies were of the feminine gender -O, she never looked a man in the face, but her own father, or the chaplain, and him we made a shift to put upon her for a woman, by the help of his long garments and his sleek face, till she was going in her fifteen. O dear friend, I can't believe it. No, no; as she says, let him prove it, let him prove it.

Mrs Mar. Prove it, madam? what, and have your name prostituted in a public court; yours and your daughter's reputation worried at the bar by a pack of bawling lawyers! to be ushered in with an O-yes of scandal; and have your case opened by an old fumbling letcher in a coif like a man-midwife, to bring your daughter's infamy to light; to be a theme for legal punsters, and quibblers by the statute; and become a jest, against a rule of court, where there is no precedent for a jest in any record, not even in Doomsday-book; to discompose the gravity of the bench, and provoke naughty interrogatories in more naughty law Latin; while the good judge, tickled with the proceeding, simpers under a grey beard, and fidgets off and on his cushion, as if he had swallowed cantharides, or sat upon cow-itch!

Lady Wish. O, 'tis very hard!

Mrs Mar. And then to have my young revellers of the Temple take notes, like 'prentices at a conventicle; and after talk it over again in commous, or before drawers in an eating-house! Lady Wish. Worse and worse.

Mrs Mar. Nay, this is nothing; if it would end here, 'twere well. But it must, after this, be consigned by the short-hand writers to the public press; and from thence be transferred to the hands, nay, into the throats and lungs of hawkers, with voices more licentious than the loud flounder-man's; and this you must hear till you are stunned; nay, you must hear nothing else for some days.

Lady Wish. O, 'tis insupportable! No, no, dear friend, make it up, make it up; ay, ay, I'll compound. I'll give up all, myself and my all, my niece and her all-any thing, every thing for composition.

Mrs Mar. Nay, madam, I advise nothing; I only lay before you, as a friend, the inconveniences which, perhaps, you have overseen. Here comes Mr Fainall; if he will be satisfied to huddle up all in silence, I shall be glad. You must think I would rather congratulate than condole with yon.

Enter FAINALL.

Lady Wish. Ay, ay, I do not doubt it, dear Marwood: no, no, I do not doubt it.

Fain. Well, madam, I have suffered myself to be overcome by the importunity of this lady, your friend; and am content you shall enjoy your own proper estate during life; on condition you oblige yourself never to marry, under such penalty as I think convenient.

Lady Wish. Never to marry!

Fain. No more sir Rowlands----the next imposture may not be so timely detected.

Mrs Mar. That condition, I dare answer, my lady will consent to, without difficulty; she has already but too much experienced the perfidiousness of men. Besides, madam, when we retire to our pastoral solitude, we shall bid adieu to all other thoughts.

Lady Wish. Ay, that's true.

Fain. Next, my wife shall settle on me the remainder of her fortune, not made over already; and, for her maintenance, depend entirely on my discretion.

Lady Wish. This is most inhumanly savage; exceeding the barbarity of a Muscovite husband. Fain. I learned it from his Czarish majesty's retinue, in a winter evening's conference over brandy and pepper, amongst other secrets of matrimony and policy, as they are at present prac tised in the northern hemisphere. But this must be agreed unto, and that positively. Lastly, I will be endowed, in right of my wife, with that six thousand pounds, which is the moiety of Mrs Millamant's fortune in your possesion; and which she has forfeited (as will appear by the last-wildl and testament of your deceased husband, sir Jonathan Wishfort), by her disobedience in contracting herself against your consent or knowledge, and by refusing the offered match with Sir Wilfull Witwould, which you, like a careful aunt, had provided for her.

Lady Wish. My nephew was non compos; and could not make his addresses.

Fain. I come to make demands-I'll hear no objections.

Lady Wish. You will grant me time to consider?

Fain. Yes, while the instrument is drawing, to which you must set your hand till more sufficient deeds can be perfected, which I will take care shall be done with all possible speed. In the mean while, I will go for the said instrument, and till my return, you may balance this matter in your own discretion.

[Exit.

Lady Wish. This insolence is beyond all precedent, all parallel; must I be subject to this merciless villain?

Mrs Mar. 'Tis severe, indeed, madam, that you should smart for your daughter's failings.

Lady Wish. Twas against my consent, that she married this barbarian; but she would have

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Sir Wil. Look up, man, I'll stand by you; 'sbud, an' she do frown-she can't kill you; besides-harkee, she dare not frown desperately, because her face is none of her own; 'sheart, an'

Sir Wil. I confess I have been a little in dis-she should, her forehead would wrinkle like the guise, as they say- -'Sheart! and I'm sorcoat of a creau-cheese; but mum for that, felry for't. What would you have? I hope I low-traveller. committed no offence, aunt--and, if I did, I am willing to make satisfaction; and what can a man say fairer? If I have broke any thing, I'll pay for't, an' it cost a pound. And so let that content for what's past, and make no more words. For what's to come, to pleasure you, I'm willing to marry my cousin. So, pray, let's all be friends; she and I are agreed upon the matter before a witness.

Lady Wish. How's this, dear niece? have I any comfort? can this be true?

Mill. I am content to be a sacrifice to your repose, madam; and, to convince you that I had no hand in the plot, as you were misinformed, I have laid my commands on Mirabell to come in person, and be a witness, that I give my hand to this flower of knighthood; and, for the contract that passed between Mirabell and me, I have obliged him to make a resignation of it in your ladyship's presence; he is without, and waits your leave for admittance.

Lady Wish. Well, I'll swear I am something revived at this testimony of your obedience; but I cannot admit that traitor-I fear I cannot fortify myself to support his appearance. He is as terrible to me as a Gorgon; if I see him, I fear I shall turn to stone, and petrify incessantly.

Mill. If you disoblige him, he may resent your refusal, and insist upon the contract still. Then 'tis the last time he will be offensive to you.

Lady Wish. Are you sure it will be the last time if I were sure of that-shall I never see him again?

Mill. Sir Wilfull, you and he are to travel together, are you not?

Sir Wil. 'Sheart, the gentleman's a civil gentleman; aunt, let him come in; why, we are sworn brothers, and fellow-travellers. We are to be Pylades and Orestes, he and I—he is to be my interpreter in foreign parts. He has been over-seas once already; and, with proviso that I marry my cousin, will cross them once again, only to bear me company. 'Sheart, I'll call him in-an' I set on't once, he shall come in; and sce who'll hinder him. [Goes to the door, and hems.

Mira. If a deep sense of the many injuries I have offered to so good a lady, with a sincere remorse, and a hearty contrition, can but obtain the least glance of compassion, I am too happy. Ah, madam! there was a time-but let it be forgotten-I confess I have deservedly forfeited the high place, I once held, of sighing at your feet; nay, kill me not, by turning from me in disdainI come not to plead for favour; nay, not for pardon; I am a supplicant only for pity-I am going where I never shall behold you more.

Sir Wil. How, fellow-traveller! you shall go by yourself, then.

Mira. Let me be pitied first: and afterwards forgotten-I ask no more.

Sir Wil. By'r lady, a very reasonable request, and will cost you nothing, aunt. Come, come, forgive and forget, aunt; why, you must, an' you are a Christian.

Mira. Consider, madam, in reality, you could not receive much prejudice; it was an innocent device; though, I confess, it had a face of guiltiness-it was at most an artifice, which love contrived-and errors, which love produces, have ever been accounted venial. At least think it is punishment enough, that I have lost what, in my heart, I hold most dear; that to your cruel indignation I have offered up this beauty, and with her my peace and quiet; nay, all my hopes of future comfort.

Sir Wil. An' he does not move me, would I may never be o' the quorum! An' it were not as good a deed as to drink, to give her to him again, I would I might never take shipping!Aunt, if you don't forgive quickly, I shall melt, I can tell you that. My contract went no farther than a little mouth-glue, and that's hardly dry ; one doleful sigh more from my fellow-traveller, and 'tis dissolved.

Lady Wish. Well, nephew, upon your account -ah! he has a false, insinuating tongue. Well, sir, I will stifle my just resentment, at my nephew's request-I will endeavour what I can to forget---but, on proviso, that you resign the contract with my niece immediately.

Mira It is in writing, and with papers of

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Enter FAINALL and MRS MARWOOD.

Fain. Your debate of deliberation, madam, is expired. Here is the instrument; are you prepared to sign?

Lady Wish. If I were prepared, I am not empowered. My niece exerts a lawful claim, having matched herself, by my direction, to sir Wilfull.

Fain. That sham is too gross to pass on methough 'tis imposed on you, madam.

Mill. Sir, I have given my consent. Mira. And, sir, I have resigned my pretensions.

Sir Wil. And, sir, I assert my right; and will maintain it, in defiance of you, sir, and of your instrument. 'Sheart, an' you talk of an instrument, sir, I have an old fox by my thigh, shall hack your instrument of ram vellum to shreds, sir. It shall not be sufficient for a mittimus, or a tailor's measure; therefore, withdraw your instrument, or by'r lady, I shall draw mine.

Lady Wish. Hold, nephew, hold!

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that's past; nay, I'll consent to any thing to come, to be delivered from this tyranny.

Mira. Ay, madam; but that is too late; my reward is intercepted. You have disposed of her, who only could have made me a compensation for all my services: but be it as it may, I am resolved I'll serve you; you shall not be wronged in this savage manner.

Lady Wish. How! dear Mr Mirabell, can you be so generous at last! but it is not possible. Harkee, I'll break my nephew's match; you shall have my niece yet, and all her fortune, if y f you can but save me from this imminent danger. Mira. Will you? I take you at your word. I ask no more. I must have leave for two criminals to appear. Lady Wish. Aye, aye; any body, any body. Mira. Foible is one, and a penitent.

Enter Mrs FAINALL, FOIBLE, and MINCING.

Mrs Mar. O, my shame! [MIRABELL and LADY WISHFORT go to Mrs FAINALL and ForBLE.] these corrupt things are brought hither to expose me. [To FAINALL.

Fain. If it must all come out, why let them know it; 'tis but the Way of the World. That shall not urge me to relinquish or abate one tittle of my terms; no, I will insist the more. Foi. Yes, indeed, madam; I'll take my bibleoath of it.

Min. And so will I, mem.

Lady Wish. O Marwood, Marwood, art thou false! My friend deceive me! Hast thou been a wicked accomplice with that profligate man?

Mrs Mar. Have you so much ingratitude and injustice, to give credit, against your friend, to the aspersions of two such mercenary trulls?

Min. Mercenary, mem! I scorn your words. 'Tis true, we found you and Mr Fainall in the blue garret; by the same token, you swore us to secrecy upon Messalina's poems. Mercenary! No, if we would have been mercenary, we should have held our tongues; you would have bribed us sufficiently.

Mill. Good sir Wilfull, respite your valour. Fain. Indeed? Are you provided of your guard, with your single beef-eater there? But I am prepared for you; and insist upon my first proposal. You shall submit your own estate to my management, and absolutely make over my wife's to my sole use, as pursuant to the purport and tenor of this other covenant. I suppose, madam, your consent is not requisite in this case; nor, Mr Mirabell, your resignation; nor, sir Wilfull, your right--you may draw your fox, if you please, sir, and make a bear-garden flourish Fain. Go, you are an insignificant thing.somewhere else; for, here, it will not avail. This, Well, what are you the better for this? Is this my lady Wishfort, must be subscribed, or your Mr Mirabell's expedient? I'll be put off no longdarling daughter's turned adrift, like a leakyer-You, thing, that was a wife, shall smart for hulk, to sink or swim, as she and the current of this. I will not leave thee wherewithal to hide this town can agree. thy shame: Your person shall be naked as your reputation.

Lady Wish. Is there no means, no remedy, to stop my ruin? Ungrateful wretch! dost thou not owe thy being, thy subsistence, to my daughter's fortune?

Fain. I'll answer you, when I have the rest of it in my possession.

Mira. But that you would not accept of a remedy from my hands--I own I have not deserved you should owe any obligation to me; or else, perhaps, I could advise

Lady Wish. O what! what! to save me and my child from ruin, from want, I'll forgive all

Mrs Fain. I despise you, and defy your malice-You have aspersed nie wrongfully-I have proved your falsehood—Go, you and your treacherous- I will not name it, but starve together-Perish!

Fain. Not while you are worth a groat, indeed, my dear-madam, I'll be fooled no longer. Lady Wish. Ah, Mr Mirabell, this is small comfort, the detection of this affair.

Mira. O, in good time-Your leave for the other offender and penitent to appear, madam.

Enter WAITWELL, with a box of writings. Lady Wish. O sir Rowland-Well, rascal ? Wait. What your ladyship pleases-I have brought the black box at last, madam.

Mira. Give it me. Madam, you remember your promise.

Lady Wish. Aye, dear sir.

Mira. Where are the gentlemen?

Wait. At hand, sir, rubbing their eyes-just risen from sleep.

Fain. 'Sdeath! what's this to me? I'll not wait your private concerns.

Enter PETULANT and WITWOULD.

Pet. How now? what is the matter? whose hand's out?

Wit. Heyday! what, are you all together, like players at the end of the last act?

Mira. You may remember, gentlemen, I once requested your hands as witnesses to a certain parchment.

Wit. Aye I do, my hand I remember-Petulant set his mark.

Mira. You wrong him; his name is fairly written, as shall appear. You do not remember, gentlemen, any thing of what that parchment contained?

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Fain. Sir! pretended!

Mira. Yes, sir, I say, that this lady while a widow, having, it seems, received some cautions respecting your inconstancy and tyranny of temper, which, from her own partial opinion and fonduess of you, she could never have suspectedShe did, I say, by the wholesome advice of friends, and of sages learned in the laws of this land, deliver this same, as her act and deed, to me, in trust, and to the uses within mentioned. You may read if you please [Holding the parchment]; though, perhaps, what is written on the back may serve your occasions.

Fain. Very likely, sir. What's here? Dam

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sir; of the widows of the world. I suppose this deed may bear an elder date than what you have obtained from your lady.

Fain. Perfidious fiend! then thus I'll be revenged--

[Offers to run at Mrs FAINALL. Sir Wil. Hold, sir! now you may make your Bear-garden flourish somewhere else, sir. Fain. Mirabell, you shall hear of this, sir; be sure you shall-Let me pass, oaf.

[Exit.

Mrs Fain. Madam, you seem to stifle your resentment; you had better give it vent. Mrs Mar. Yes, it shall have vent-and to your confusion, or I'll perish in the attempt.

[Erit. Lady Wish. O daughter, daughter! 'tis plain thou hast inherited thy mother's prudence.

Mrs Fain. Thank Mr Mirabell, a cautious friend, to whose advice all is owing.

Lady Wish. Well, Mr Mirabell, you have kept your promise; and I must perform mine. First, I pardon, for your sake, sir Rowland there and Foible. The next thing is to break the matter to my nephew-and how to do that—

Mira. For that, madam, give yourself no trouble-let me have your consent-Sir Wilfull is my friend; he has had compassion upon lovers, and generously engaged a volunteer in this action, for our service; and now designs to prosecute his travels.

Sir Wil. 'Sheart, aunt, I have no mind to marry. My cousin's a fine lady, and the gentleman loves her, and she loves him, and they deserve one another; my resolution is to see foreign parts-I have set on it-and when I'm set on't, I must do it. And if these two gentlemen would travel, too, I think they may be spared.

Pet. For my part, I say little-I think things are best; off or on.

Wait. Egad, I understand nothing of the matter -I'm in a maze yet, like a dog in a dancingschool.

Lady Wish. Well, sir, take her, and with her all the joy I can give you.

Mill. Why does the man not take me? Would you have me give myself to you over again?

Mira. Aye, and over and over again! [Kisses her hand,] I would have you as often as possibly I can. Well, Heaven grant I love you not too well; that's all my fear.

Sir Wil. 'Sheart, you'll have time enough to toy after you're married; or, if you will toy now, let us have a dance in the mean time; that we, who are not lovers, may have some other employment, besides looking on.

Mira. With all my heart, dear sir Wilfull.-What shall we do for music?

Foi. O, sir, some that were provided for sir Rowland's entertainment are yet within call. [A dance.

Lady Wish. As I am a person, I can hold out

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