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poor boy! The innocent boy ! Confusion ! But heart—Ad's my life, madam, you have got the hush, they come: I must dissemble still--no news finest built watch there? Tompion's, I presume. of my wine, gentlemen?
Lam. Sir, you may wear it.
Mir. Oh, madam, by no means: 'tis too much Enter the four Bradoes.
-rob you of all!- Taking it from her.|--Good 1 Bra. No, sir, I believe your country-booby has dear time, thou’rt a precious thing! I ain glad I lost himself, and we can wait no longer for't: have retrieved thee :-Putting it up.-What, true, sir, you're a pleasant gentleman, but I sup- my friends, neglected all this while! Gentlemen, pose you understand our business.
you'll pardon my complaisance to the lady. How Mir, Sir, I may go near to guess at your em- now-is it civil to be so out of humour at my enployments; you, sir, are a lawyer, I presume ; tertainment, and I so pleased with yours! Capyou a physician; you a scrivener; and you a tain, you're surprised at all this! but we're in stock-jobber. All cut-throats, 'egad!
our frolics, you must know. Some wine here.
[Aside. 4 Bra. Sir, I am a broken officer; I was ca
Enter servant with wine. shiered at the head of the army for a coward : So, I took up the trade of murderer to retrieve Come, captain, this worthy gentleman's health. the reputation of my courage.
[Tweaks the first brado by the nose ; he roars. 3 Bru. I am a soldier, too, and would serve
a soldier. too, and would serve | But now, where—where's my dear deliverer, my my king, but I don't like the quarrel ; and I have boy, my charming boy! more honour than to fight in a bad cause.
í Bra. I hope some of our crew below-stairs 2 Bra. I was bred a gentleman, and have no have dispatched him. estate ; but I must have my whore and my bot- / Mir. Villain, what say'st thou? Dispatched ! tle, through the prejudice of education.
I'll have ye all tortured, racked, turn to pieces 1 Bra. I am a ruffian, too; by the prejudice alive, if you have touched my boy. Here, page! of education, I was bred a butcher. In short, page! page ! sir, if your wine had come, we might have trified
[Runs out. a little longer. Come, sir, which sword will you Dur. Here, gentlemen, be sure you secure fall by? mine, sir?
Draws. those fellows, 2 Bra. Or mine?
Draws. 1 Bra. Yes, sir, we know you and your guard 3 Bra. Or mine?
[Draws. I will be very civil to us. 4 Bra. Or mine?
Draws. Dur. Now for you, madam. He, he, he ! I'm Mir. I scorn to beg my life; but to be but- so pleased to think that I shall be revenged of chered thus! O there's the wine! this moment one woman before I die-well, Mrs Snap-Dragon, (knocking) for my life or death.
which of these honourable gentlemen is so happy
to call you a wife? Enter Oriana.
1 Bra. Sir, she should have been mine toLost! for ever lost! where's the wine, child? night, 'cause Sampre here had her last night. Sir,
[Faintly. she's very true to us all four. Ori. Coming up, sir.
Dug. Take them to justice. [Stamps.
[The guards carry off the Bravoes, Enter Duretete with his sword drawn, and sir of the grand musqueteers, with their pieces
Enter Old MIRABELL, DUGARD, and Bisarre, presented; the ruffians drop their swords. Old Mir. Robin, Robin, where's Bob? where's
[Oriana goes off my boy? what, is this the lady? a pretty whore, Mir. The wine! the wine! the wine! Youth, | faith! heark'e, child, because my son was so cipleasure, fortune, days, and years, are now my vil as to oblige you with a coach, I'll treat you own again. Ah, my dear friends, did not I tell with a cart; indeed I will. you this wine would make me merry? Dear cap- Dug. Aye, madam, and you shall have a tain, these gentlemen are the best-natured, face-swinging equipage, three or four thousand foottious, witty creatures, that ever you knew. men at your heels at least.
Dur. No less becomes her quality.
Bis. Faugh! the monster!
Dur. Monster! aye, you're all a little monsLam. Is the wine come, sir !
trous, let me tell you. Mir. O yes, madam, the wine is come- see there Pointing to the soldiers. Your lady
Enter Mirabell. ship has got a very fine ring upon your finger. Old Mir. Ah, my dear Bob, art thou safe, Lam. Sir, 'tis at your service.
man? Mir. O ho! is it so ? thou dear seven hundred Mir. No, no, sir, I'm ruined; the saver of my pound, thou'rt welcome home again, with all my life is lost,
Old Mir. No, he came and brought us the , don; my tlianks are needless, for myself I owe. news.
And now, for ever, do protest me yours. Mir. But where is he?
Old Mir. Tall, all di dall.-Sings. Kiss me,
daughter--no, you shall kiss me first-[To LAEnter ORIANA.
MORCE for you're the cause on't. Well, Bi
sarre, what say you to the captain? Ha !-Runs and embraces her. My dear pre- Bis. I like the beast well enough, but I don't server! what shall I do to recompense your understand his paces so well, as to endanger him trust? Father, friends, gentlemen, behold the in a strange road. youth, that has relieved me from the most igno Old Mir. But marriage is so beaten a path, minious death, from the scandalous poniards of that you can't go wrong. these bloody ruffians, where to have fallen would Bis. Aye, 'tis so beaten, that the way is have defamed my memory with vile reproach.- spoiled. My life, estate, my all, is due to such a favour Dur. There is but one thing should make me command me, child; before you all, before iny thy husband- I could marry tbee to-day, for the late so kind indulgent stars, I swear to grant privilege of beating thee to-morrow. whate'er you ask.
Old Mir. Come, come, you may agree for all Ori. To the same stars, indulgent now to me, I this. Mr Dugard, are not you pleased with will appeal as to the justice of my claim; I shall this? demand but what was mine before—the just per Dug. So pleased, that if I thought it might se formance of your contract to Uriana.
cure your son's affection to my sister, I would
[Discovering herself double her fortune. Om. Oriana !
Mir. Fortune! has she not given me mine? Ori. In this disguise, I resolved to follow you my life, estate, my all, and, what is more, her abroad; counterfeited that letter, that got me virtuous self? Virtue, in this so advantageous into your service, and so, by this strange turn of life, has her own sparkling charms, more temptfate, I became the instrument of your preserva- ing far than glittering gold or glory. Behold the tion. Few common servants would have had such foil- Pointing to LAMORCE-that sets this cunning; my love inspired me with the meaning brightness off!- TO ORIANA. Here view the of your message, because my concern for your pride To ORIANA-and scandal of the sex.safety made me suspect your company.
[To LAMORCE].—There-[TO LAMORCE.)—the Dur. Mirabell, you're caught.
false meteor, whose deluding light leads mankind Mir. Caught! I scorn the thought of imposi | to destruction; here-[To ORIANA)--the bright tion; the tricks and artful cnoning of the sex I shining star, that guides to a security of happ: have despised, and broke through all contrivance. ness; a garden, and a single she-To ORIANA Caught ! no, 'tis my voluntary act; this was no was our first father's bliss; the tempter-[To human stratagem; but by my providential stars LAMORCE. -and to wander was his curse. designed to shew the dangers wandering youth What liberty can be so tempting there? incurs by the pursuit of an unlawful love, to
[To LA MORCE. plunge me headlong in the snares of vice, and As a soft, virtuous, am'rous bondage here? then to free me by the hands of virtue : here, on
[ To ORIANA. my knecs, I humbly beg my fair preserver's par
SHE WOU'D AND SHE WOU'D NOT.
Enter HYPOLITA and Flora in men's habits, a Enter TRAPPANTI, alone, talking to himself.
Servant with a portmanteau. INDEED, my friend Trappanti, thou'rt in a very Trap. Welcome to Madrid, sir; welcome, sir ! thin condition; thou hast neither master, meat, Flo. Sir, your servant ! nor money: not but, couldst thou part with that Ser. Have the horses pleased your honour? unappeaseable itch of eating, too, thou hast all Hyp. Very well indeed, friend. Prithee, set the ragged virtues that were requisite to set up an down the portmanteau, and see that the poor ancient philosopher: contempt and poverty, kicks, creatures want nothing: they have performed thumps, and thinking, thou hast endured with the well, and deserve our care. best of them; but—when fortune turns thee up | Trap. I'll take care of that, sir. Here, ostler! to hard fasting, that is to say, positively not eat
(Ereunt TRAP, and Servant. ing at all, I perceive thou art a downright dunce, | Flo. And pray, madam, what do I deserve, that with the same stomach, and no more philosophy, have lost the use of my limbs to keep pace with than a hound upon horse-flesh-Fasting's the you? 'Sheart! you whipped and spurred like a foxdevil! -Let me see-this, I take it, is the most hunter: its a sign you had a lover in view : I'm frequented inn about Madrid, and if a keen guest sure my shoulders ache as if I had carried my or two should drop in now-Hark!
horse on them. Host: [Within.] Take care of the gentlemen's Hyp. Poor Flora ! thou art fatigued indeed! horses there; see them well rubbed and littered. | but I shall find a way to thank thee for't.
Trap. Just alighted! if they do but stay to eat Flo. Thank me, quotha! Egad, I shan't be now! Impudence assist me. Ha! a couple of able to sit this fortnight. Well, I'm glad our pretty young sparks, faith!
journey's at an end, however; and now, madam, Vol. II.
pray, what do you propose will be the end of "Flo. Well said again! that was a clincher.our journey?
Ah, had not you better been at confession? Hyp. Why, now, I hope the end of my wishes Hyp. Why, really, I might have saved a long -Don Philip, I need not tell you how far he is journey by it. To be short, when I came from in my heart.
church, Don Philip had left this letter at home Flo. No, your sweet usage of him told me that for me, without requiring an answer- Read long enough ago; but now, it seems, you think itfit to confess it: and what is it you love him for, | Flo. [Reads.] ‘Your usage has made me just
lly despair of you, and now, any change must Hyp. His manner of bearing that usage. better my condition ; at least, it has reduced
Fl. Ah, dear pride! how we love to have it'me to the necessity of trying the last remedy, tickled ! But he does not bear it, you see, for marriage with another; if it prove ineffectnal, he's coming post to Madrid to marry another |'I only wish you may, at some hours, remember woman; nay, one he never saw,
how little cause I have given you to have made Hyp. An unknown face cannot have very far ‘me for ever miserable. engaged him.
Philip.' Flo. How came he to be engaged to her at Poor gentleman! very hard, by my conscience! all?
Indeed, madam, this was carrying the jest a little Hyp. Why, I engaged him.
too far. Flo. To another!
Hyp. Ah, by many a long mile, Flora ; but Hyp. To my whole sex, rather than own I lo- what would you have a woman do, when her ved him.
hand's in? Flo. Ah, done like a woman of courage ! Flo. Nay, the truth of it is, we never know
Hyp. I could not bear the thought of parting the difference between enough and a surfeit; with my power; besides, he took me at such an but, love be praised, your proud stomach's come advantage, and pressed me so home to a surrend-down for it. er, I could have torn him piece-meal.
Hyp. Indeed, it is not altogether so high as Flo. Ay, I warrant you, an insolent-agreea- it was. In a word, his last letter set me at my ble puppy. Well, but to leave impertinence, ma- wit's end; and when I came to myself, you may dam, pray how came vou to squabble with him? remember you thought me bewitched; for I im
Hyp. I'll tell thee, Flora : you know Don Phi-mediately called for my boots and breeches, a lip wants no charms that can recommend a lo- straddle we got, and so rode after him. ver; in birth and quality, I confess him my supe- Flo. Why, truly, madam, as to your wits, I have rior; and it is the thought of that has been a not much altered my opinion for them, for I constant thorn upon my wishes. I never saw cannot see what you propose by it. him in the humblest posture, but still I fancied Hyp. My whole design, Flora, lies in this porthe secretly presumed his rank and fortune might manteau, and these breeches. deserve me. This always stung my pride, and Flo. A notable design, no doubt! but, pray, made me overact it: nay, sometimes, when his let's hear it. sufferings have almost drawn tears into my eyes, Hyp. Why, I do propose to be twice married I have turned the subject with some trivial talk, I between them. or hummed a spiteful tune, though I believe his Flo. How ! twice? heart was breaking.
Hyp. By the help of the portmanteau, I intend Flo. A very tender principle, truly !
to marry myself to Don Philip's new mistress; Hyp. Well, I don't know, it was in my nature. and then— I'll put off my breeches, and marry But to proceed--this, and worse usage, continued | bim, a long time; ag last, despairing of my heart, he Flo. Now, I begin to take ye: but, pray. then resolved to do a violence on his own, by what's in the portmanteau, and how came you consenting to his father's cominands of marrying by it? a lady of considerable fortune here in Madrid. - | Hyp. I hired one to steal it from his servant The match is concluded, articles are sealed, and at the last inn we lay at in Toledo. In it are the day is fixed for his journey. Now, the night jewels of value, presents to my bride, gold good before he set out, he came to take his leave of store, settlements, and credential letters, to cerme, in hopes, I suppose, I would have staid him. tify, that the bearer (which I intend to be myI need not tell you my confusion at the news; self) is Don Philip, only son and heir of Don and though I could have given my soul to have Fernando de las Torres, now residirry at Seville, deferred it, yet, finding him, unless I bade him whence we came. stay, resolved upon the marriage, I (from the Flo. A very smart undertaking, by my troth! pure spirit of contradiction) swore to myself I And, pray, madam, what part am I to act ? would not bid him do it; so called for my veil, Hyp. My woman still; when I cannot lie for and told him I was in haste, begged his pardon, myself, you are to do it for me, in the person of your servant, and so whipped to prayers, a cousin-german,
Flo. And my name is to be
sir; why, they'll let you starve if you don't stir · Hyp. Don Guzman, Diego, Mendez, or what and call, and that like thunder, too_ Hey ! you please : be your own goodfather.
TKnocks. | Flo. 'Egad, I begin to like it mightily! this Hyp. Ha! you eat liere sometimes, I presume, may prove a very pleasant adventure, if we can sir? but come off without fighting, which, by the way, Trap. Umph! Aye, sir, that's as it happens I don't easily perceive we shall; for, to be sure, I seldom eat at home, indeed-things are geneDon Philip will make the devil to do with us nerally, you know, so out of order there, that when he finds himself here before he come Did you hear any fresh news upon the road, sir ? ther.
Hyp. Only, sir, that the king of France lost a Hyp. Oh, let me alone to give him satisfac- great horse-match upon the Alps t'other day.
Trap. Ha! a very odd place for a horse-race Flo. I'm afraid it must be alone, if you do give but the king of France may do any thing—did him satisfaction ; for my part, I can push no you come that way, gentlemen? or-Hey! more than I can swim.
Knocks. Hyp. But can you bully upon occasion ? Flo. I can scold, when my blood's up.
Enter Host. Hyp. That's the same thing: bullying would Host. Did you call, gentlemen? be scolding in petticoats.
Trap. Yes, and bawl, too, sir. Here, the genFlo. Say ye so? Why, then, Don, look to your- tlemen are almost famished, and nobody comes self; if I don't give you as good as you bring, near them. What have you in the house, now, I'll be content to wear breeches as long as I live, that will be ready presently? though I lose the end of my sex by it. Well, Host. You may have what you please, sir. madam, now you have opened the plot, pray, Hyp. Can you give us a partridge ? when is the play to begin?
Host, Sir, we have no partridges; but we'll Hyp. I hope to have it all over in less than get you what you please in a moment. We have four hours : we'll just refresh ourselves with a very good neck of mutton, sir; if you please, it what the house affords, comb out our wigs, and | shall be clapped down in a moment. wait upon my father-in-law- How now! what Hyp. Have you no pigeons or chickens ? would this fellow have?
Host. Truly, sir, we have no fowl in the house
at present; if you please, you may have any thing Enter TRAPPANTI.
else in a moment.
Hyp. Then, prithee, get us some young rabTrap. Servant, gentlemen ; I have taken nice bits. care of your nags; good cattle they are, by my Host. Upon my word, sir, rabbits are so scarce, troth! right and sound, I warrant them; they they are not to be had for money. deserve care, and they have had it, and shall Flo. Have you any fish? have it, if they stay in this house. I always Host. Fish, sir! I drest yesterday the finest stand by, sir; see them rubbed down with my own dish that ever came upon a table; I am sorry eyes— Catch me trusting an ostler-I'll give we have none left, sir; but if you please, you you leave to fill for me, and drink for me, too. may have any thing else in a moment. Flo. I have seen this fellow somewhere.
Trap. Pox on thee! hast thou nothing but Trap. Hey-day! what, no cloth laid? was any thing else in the house? ever such attendance! Hey, house! tapster! | Host. Very good mutton, sir. landlord! hey! [Knocks.] What was it you be Hyp. Prithee get us a breast, then. spoke, gentlemen?
Host. Breast! don't you love the neck, sir? Hyp. Really, sir, I ask your pardon; I have als Hyp. Have ye nothing in the house but the most forgot you.
neck? Trap. Pshaw! dear sir, never talk of it; I Host. Really, sir, we don't use to be so unprolive here hard by—I have a lodging--I cannot vided; but at present we have nothing else left. call it a lodging, neither—that is, I have a
Trap. Faith, sir, I don't know but a nothing Sometimes I am here, and sometimes I am else may be very good meat, when any thing else there; and so, bere and there, one makes shift, is not to be had. you know. Hey! will these people never come? Hyp. Then, prithee, friend, let's have thy neck
[Knocks. of mutton before that is gone, too. Hyp. You give a very good account of your | Trap. Sir, he shall lay it down this minute; self, sir.
I'll see it done, gentlemen; I'll wait upon ye preTrap. Oh, nothing at all, sir. Lord, sir-was sently; for a minute I must beg your pardon, it fish or flesh, sir?
and leave to lay the cloth myself. Flo. Really, sir, we have bespoke nothing yet. | Hyp. By no means, sir.
Trap. Nothing! for shame! it's a sign you Trap. No ceremony, dear sir! Indeed I'll do are young travellers. You don't know this house, lit.
Ereunt Host and TRAPPANTL.