Lord Mor. I have no relief but that. Had | I not thee now and then to talk an hour, my life were insupportable.

Sir Cha. I am sorry for that, my lord;-but mind what I say to you-but hold, first let me know the particulars of your quarrel with her.

Lord Mor. Why--about three weeks ago, when I was last here at Windsor, she had for some days treated me with a little more reserve, and another with more freedom, than I found myself easy at.

Sir Cha. Who was that other?

Lord Mor. One of my lord Foppington's gang- -the pert coxcomb that's just come to a small estate and a great periwig-he that sings himself among the women- -What do you call him?--He won't speak to a commoner when a lord is in companyyou always see him with a cane dangling at his button, his breast open, no gloves, one eye tucked under his hat, and a tooth-pick- -Startup, that's

his name.

Sir Cha. O! I have met him in a visit—but pray go on.

Lord Mor. So, disputing with her about the conduct of women, I took the liberty to tell her how far I thought she erred in hers. She told me I was rude, and that she would never believe any man could love a woman, that thought her in the wrong in any thing she had a mind to, at least if he dared to tell her so. This provoked me into her whole character, with so much spirit and civil malice, as I have seen her bestow upon a woman of true beauty, when the men first toasted her; so, in the middle of my wisdom, she told me, she desired to be alone, that I would take my odious proud heart along with me, and trouble her no more- -I-bowed very low, and, as I left the room, vowed I never would, and that my proud heart should never be humbled by the outside of a fine woman-About an hour after, I whipped into my chaise for London, and have never seen her since.

Sir Cha. Very well; and how did you find your proud heart by that time you got to Hounslow?

Lord Mor. I am almost ashamed to tell youI found her so much in the right, that I cursed my pride for contradicting her at all, and began to think, according to her maxim, that no woman could be in the wrong to a man that she had in her power.

Sir Cha. Ha, ha! Well, I'll tell you what you shall do. You can see her without trembling, I hope?

Lord Mor. Not if she receives me well.

Sir Cha. If she receives you well, you will have no occasion for what I am going to say to you first you shall dine with her.

Lord Mor. How! where! when!
Sir Cha. Here! here! at two o'clock,
Lord Mor. Dear Charles!

Sir Cha. My wife is gone to invite her; when you see her first, be neither too humble, nor too stubborn; let her see, by the ease in your behaviour, you are still pleased in being near her, while she is upon reasonable terms with you. This will either open the door of an eclaircissement, or quite shut it against you-and if she is still resolved to keep you out

Lord Mor. Nay, if she insults me, then, perhaps, I may recover pride enough to rally her by an overacted submission.

Sir Cha. Why, you improve, my lord! this is the very thing I was going to propose to you. Lord Mor. Was it, faith! hark you, dare you stand by me?

Sir Cha. Dare I! aye, to my last drop of assurance, against all the insolent airs of the proudest beauty in Christendom.

Lord Mor. Nay, then, defiance to her-We two-Thou hast inspired me-I find myself as valiant as a flattered coward.

Sir Cha. Courage, my lord; I'll warrant we beat her.

Lord Mor. My blood stirs at the very thought on't I long to be engaged.

Sir Cha. She will certainly give ground, when she once sees you are thoroughly provoked. Lord Mor. Dear Charles, thou art a friend, indeed!

Enter a Servant.

Ser. Sir, my lord Foppington gives his service, and, if your honour's at leisure, he'll wait on you as soon as he is dressed.

Lord Mor. Lord Foppington! Is he in town? Sir Cha. Yes; I heard last night he was come. Give my service to his lordship, and tell him I should be glad he will do me the honour of his company here at dinner. [Erit Servant.] We may have occasion for him in our design upon Lady Betty.

Lord Mor. What use can we make of him? Sir Cha. We'll see when he comes; at least, there is no danger in him; but I suppose you know he is your rival.

Lord Mor. Pshaw! a coxcomb.

Sir Cha. Nay, don't despise him neitherhe is able to give you advice; for, though he is in love with the same woman, yet, to him, she has not charms enough to give a minute's pain.

Lord Mor. Prithee, what sense has he of love? Sir Cha. Faith, very near as much as a man of sense ought to have; I grant you he knows not how to value a woman truly deserving, but he has a pretty just esteem for most ladies about

town.

Lord Mor. That he follows, I grant youfor he seldom visits any of extraordinary reputation.

Sir Cha. Have a care! I have seen him at lady Betty Modish's.

Lord Mor. To be laughed at,

Sir Cha. Don't be too confident of that; the women now begin to laugh with him, not at him: for he really sometimes rallies his own humour with so much ease and pleasantry, that a great many women begin to think he has no follies at all, and those he has, have been as much owing to his youth, and a great estate, as want of natural wit 'tis true, he often is a bubble to his pleasures, but he has always been wisely vain enough to keep himself from being too much the ladies' humble servant in love.

Lord Mor. There, indeed, I almost envy him. Sir Cha. The easiness of his opinion upon the

sex, will go near to pique him-We must have him.

Lord Mor. As you please-but what shall we do with ourselves till dinner?

Sir Cha. What think you of a party at picquet?

Lord Mor. O! you are too hard for me. Sir Cha. Fie! fie! when you play with his grace?

Lord Mor. Upon my honour, he gives me three points.

Sir Cha. Does he? Why, then, you shall give me but two-Here, fellow, get cards. Allons! [Exeunt.

Enter LADY BETTY, and LADY EASY, meeting. Lady Вet. Oн, my dear! I am overjoyed to see you! I am strangely happy to-day! I have just received my new scarf from London, and you are most critically come to give me your opinion of it.

Lady Easy. Oh, your servant, madam; I am a very indifferent judge, you know. What, is it with sleeves?

ful in one's fancy, is an evident sign of one's being admired; and I always take admiration for the best proof of beauty, and beauty certainly is the source of power, as power, in all creatures, is the height of happiness.

Lady Easy. At this rate, you would rather be thought beautiful than good?

Lady Bet. As I had rather command, than obey the wisest homely woman can't make a man of sense of a fool; but the veriest fool of a beauty shall make an ass of a statesman; so that, in short, I can't see a woman of spirit has any business in this world but to dress-and make the men like her.

Lady Easy. Indeed, I won't, my dear; I am resolved to mortify you for being so wrongfully fond of a trifle.

Lady Bet. Nay, now, my dear, you are illnatured.

Lady Easy. Why, truly, I'm half angry to see a woman of your sense so warmly concerned in the care of her outside; for, when we have taken our best pains about it, 'tis the beauty of the mind alone that gives us lasting virtue.

Lady Bet. Ah, my dear! my dear! you have been a married woman to a fine purpose, indeed, that know so little of the taste of mankind. Take my word, a new fashion upon a fine woman is often a greater proof of her value, than you are aware of.

Lady Easy. That I can't comprehend; for you see among the men, nothing's more ridiculous than a new fashion. Those of the first sense are always the last that come into them.

Lady Bet. That is, because the only merit of a man is his sense; but, doubtless, the greatest value of woman is her beauty. An homely | woman, at the head of a fashion, would not be allowed in it by the men, and consequently not

Lady Bet. I do suppose, that when I suffer any man to like my person, he shan't dare to find fault with my principle.

Lady Easy. But men of sense are not so easily humbled.

Lady Bet. The easiest of any; one has tea thousand times the trouble with a coxcomb.

Lady Easy. Nay, that may be; for I have seen you throw away more good humour, in hopes of a tendresse from my lord Foppington, who loves all women alike, than would have made my lord Morelove perfectly happy, who loves only you.

Lady Bet. The men of sense, my dear, make the best fools in the world: their sincerity and good breeding throws them so entirely into one's power, and gives one such an agreeable thirst of using them ill, to shew that power-'tis impossible not to quench it.

Lady Easy. But, methinks, my lord Morelove's manner to you might move any woman to a kinder sense of his merit.

Lady Bet. Aye, but would it not be hard, my dear, for a poor weak woman to have a man of his quality and reputation in her power, and not to let the world see him there? Would any creature sit new dressed all day in her closet? Could

apt to choose that the flies have been busy with, ha, ha, ha!

Lady Easy. Thou art a strange giddy creature!

Lady Bet. That may be from so much circu

Lady Easy. Now, 'tis to me amazing, how a man of his spirit can bear to be used like a dog for four or five years together-but nothing's a wonder in love; yet pray, when you found you could not like him at first, why did you ever encourage him?

Lady Bet. Why, what would you have one do? for my part, I could no more choose a man by my eye, than a shoe; one must draw them on a little, to see if they are right to one's foot. Lady Easy. But I'd no more fool on with a man I could not like, than I'd wear a shoe that pinched me.

Lady Bet. Aye, but then a poor wretch tells one, he'll widen them, or do any thing, and is so civil and silly, that one does not know how to turn such a trifle, as a pair of shoes, or an heart, upon a fellow's hands again.

Lady Easy. Well; I confess you are very happily distinguished among most women of fortune, to have a man of my lord Morelove's sense and quality so long and honourably in love with you; for, now-a-days, one hardly ever hears of such a thing as a man of quality in love with the woman he would marry. To be in love, now, is only to have a design upon a woman, a modish way of declaring war against her virtue, which they generally attack first, by toasting up her vanity.

Lady Bet. Aye, but the world knows, that is not the case between my lord and me.

Lady Easy. Therefore, I think you happy. Lady Bet. Now, I don't see it; I'll swear I'm better pleased to know there are a great many foolish fellows of quality that take occasion to toast me frequently.

Lady Easy. I vow I should not thank any gentleman for toasting me, and I have often wondered how a woman of your spirit could bear a great many other freedoms I have seen some men take with you.

Lady Bet. As how, my dear? Come, prithee, be free with me, for, you must know, I love dearly to hear my faults-Who is't you have obser ved to be too free with me?

Lady Easy. Why, there's my lord Foppington; could any woman but you bear to see him with a respectful fleer stare full in her face, draw up his breath, and cry--Gad, you're handsome?

Lady Bet. My dear, fine fruit will have flies about it; but, poor things, they do it no harm: for, if you observe, people are generally most VOL. II

Lady Bet. Poor creature! Her pride, indeed, makes her carry it off without taking any notice of it to me; though I know she hates me in her heart, and I cannot endure malicious people; so I used to dine with her once a week, purely to give her disorder; if you had but seen when my lord and I fooled a little, the creature looked so ugly!

Lady Easy. But I should not think my reputation safe; my lord Foppington's a man that talks often of his amours, but seldom speaks of favours that are refused him.

Lady Bet. Pshaw! will any thing a man says make a woman less agreeable? Will his talking spoil one's complexion, or put one's hair out of order? and for reputation-look you, my dear, take it for a rule, that, as amongst the lower rank of people, no woman wants beauty that has fortune; so, among people of fortune, no woman wants virtue, that has beauty: but an estate and beauty joined, are of an unlimited, nay, a power pontifical, make one not only absolute, but infallible-A fine woman's never in the wrong; or, if we were, 'tis not the strength of a poor creature's reason that can unfetter him. Oh, how I love to hear a wretch curse himself for loving on, or now and then coming out with a

Yet for the plugue of human race,
This devil has an angel's face.

Lady Easy. At this rate, I don't see you allow reputation to be at all essential to a fine woman?

Lady Bet. Just as much as honour to a great man. Power is always above scandal, Don't you hear people say the king of France owes most of his conquests to breaking his word, and would not the confederates have a fine time on't, if they were only to go to war with reproaches? Indeed, my dear, that jewel reputation is a very fanciful business! One shall not see a homely creature in town, but wears it in her mouth as monstrously as the Indians do bobs at their lips, and it really becomes them just alike.

Lady Easy. Have a care, my dear, of trusting too far to power alone: for nothing is more ridiculous than the fall of pride; and woman's pride, at best, may be suspected to be more a distrust, than a real contempt of mankind: for, when we have said all we can, a deserving husband is certainly our best happiness; and I don't question but my lord Morelove's merit, in a little time, will make you think so, too; for, whatever airs

3 F

you give yourself to the world, I'm sure your heart don't want good-nature.

Lady Bet. You are mistaken; I am very illnatured, though your good-humour won't let you see it.

Lady Easy. Then, to give me a proof on't, let me see you refuse to go immediately and dine with me, after I have promised sir Charles to bring you.

Lady Bet. Pray, don't ask me.
Lady Easy. Why?

Lady Bet. Because, to let you see I hate goodnature, I'll go without asking, that you mayn't have the malice to say I did you a favour. Lady Easy. Thou art a mad creature.

[Exeunt arm in arm.

SCENE II-Changes to SIR CHARLES's lodgings. LORD MORELOVE and SIR CHARLES at picquet.

Sir Cha. Come, my lord, one single game for the tout, and so have done.

Lord More. No, haug them, I have enough of them! ill cards are the dullest company in the world-How much is it?

Sir Cha. Three parties.

Lord More. Fifteen pounds-very well. [While LORD MORELOVE counts out his money, a servant gives SIR CHARLES a letter, which he reads to himself.]

Sir Cha. [To the Servant.]-Give my service; say I have company dines with me; if I have time I'll call there in the afternoon-ha, ha, ha!

[Exit Servant. Lord More. What's the matter? there[Paying the money. Sir Cha. The old affair-my lady Graveairs. Lord More. Oh! Prithee, how does that go on?

Sir Cha. As agreeably as a chancery suit: for now it comes to the intolerable plague of my not being able to get rid on't; as you may see~ [Giving the letter. Lord More. [Reads.]- Your behaviour, since 'I came to Windsor, has convinced me of your villainy, without my being surprised, or angry at

'it. I desire you would let me see you at my lodgings immediately, where I shall have a bet'ter opportunity to convince you, that I never can, or positively will, be as I have been. Yours,' &c. A very whimsical letter! Faith, I think she has hard luck with you: if a man were obliged to have a mistress, her person and condition seem to be cut out for the ease of a lover: for she's a young, handsome, wild, well-jointured widow-But what's your quarrel?

Sir Cha. Nothing-She sees the coolness happens to be first on my side, and her business with ine now, I suppose, is to convince me how heartily she's vexed that she was not before-hand with me.

Lord More. Her pride, and your indifference, must occasion a pleasant scene, sure; what do you intend to do?

Sir Cha. Treat her with a cold familiar air, till I pique her to forbid me her sight, and then take her at her word.

Lord More. Very gallant and provoking.
Enter a Servant.

Ser. Sir, my lord Foppington

[Exit Servant. Sir Cha. Oh-now, my lord, if you have a mind to be let into the mystery of making love without pain, here's one that's a master of the art, and shall declaim to you

Enter LORD FOPPINGTON.

My dear lord Foppington!

brasse! Pardi! Il y a cent ans que je ne t'ai vu Lord Fop. My dear agreeable! Que je t'em—my lord, I am your lordship's most obedient humble servant.

Lord More. My lord, I kiss your hands-I hope we shall have you here some time; you seem to have laid in a stock of health to be in at the diversions of the place-You look extremely well.

Lord Fop. To see one's friends look so, my lord, may easily give a vermeille to one's complexion.

a

Sir Cha. Lovers in hope, my lord, always have visible brilliant in their eyes and air.

Lord Fop. What dost thou mean, Charles?

Sir Cha. Come, come, confess what really brought you to Windsor, now you have no busi

ness there?

Lord Fop. Why, two hours, and six of the best nags in Christendom, or the devil drive me! Lord More. You make haste, my lord.

Lord Fop. My lord, I always fly when I pursue-But they are all well kept, indeed-I love to have creatures go as I bid them. You have seen them, Charles; but so has all the world; Foppington's long tails are known on every road in England.

Sir Cha. Well, my lord, but how came they to bring you this road? You don't use to take these irregular jaunts, without some design in your head, of having more than nothing to do.

Lord Fop. Pshaw! Pox! Prithee, Charles, thou knowest I am a fellow sans consequence, be where I will.

Sir Cha. Nay, nay, this is too much among friends, my lord; come, come, we must have it; your real business here?

Lord Fop. Why, then, entre nous, there is a certain fille de joye about the court, here, that loves winning at cards better than all the things I have been able to say to her,so I have brought an odd thousand bill.in my pocket, that I design, tête-à-tête, to play off with her at picquet, or so; and now the business is out.