ver known the true value of the sex. You positively understand them the best of any man breathing; therefore, I think every one of common prudence ought to resign to you.

Lord Fop. Then, positively, your lordship is the most obliging person in the world; for I'm sure your judgment can never like any woman that is not the finest creature in the universe.

[Bowing to LADYy Bet. Lord More. Oh, your lordship does me too much honour! I have the worst judgment in the world; no man has been more deceived in it.

Lord Fop. Then your lordship, I presume, has been apt to chuse in a mask, or by candle-light? Lord More. In a mask, indeed, my lord, and, of all masks, the most dangerous.

Lord Fop. Pray, what's that, my
Lord More. A bare face.

lord?

Lord Fop. Your lordship will pardon me, if I don't so readily comprehend how a woman's bare face can hide her face.

Lord More. It often hides her heart, my lord; and therefore I think it sometimes a more dangerous mask than a piece of velvet: that's rather a mark, than a disguise, of an ill woman. But the mischiefs skulking behind a beauteous form give no warning; they are always sure, fatal, and innumerable.

Lady Bet. Oh, barbarous aspersion! My lord Foppington, have you nothing to say for the poor women?

Lord Fop. I must confess, madam, nothing of this nature ever happened in my course of amours. I always judge the beauteous part of a woman to be the most agreeable part of her composition; and when once a lady does me the honour to toss that into my arms, I think myself obliged, in good nature, not to quarrel about the rest of her equipage.

Lady Bet. Why, ay, my lord, there's some good humour in that, now.

Lord More. He's happy in a plain English stomach, madam; I could recommend a dish that's perfectly to your lordship's goût, where beauty is the only sauce to it.

Lady Bet. So

Lord Fop. My lord, when my wine's right, I never care it should be zested.

Lord More. I know some ladies would thank you for that opinion.

Lady Bet. My lord Morelove is really grown such a churl to the women, I don't only think he is not, but can't conceive how he ever could be, in love.

Lord More. Upon my word, madam, I once thought I was. [Smiling. Lady Bet. Fie, fie! how could you think so? I fancy now you had only a mind to domineer over some poor creature, and so you thought you were in love, ha, ha!

Lord More. The lady I loved, madam, grew so unfortunate in her conduct, that, at last, she VOL. II.

brought me to treat her with the same indifference and civility as I now pay your ladyship. Lady Bet. And, ten to one, just at that time she never thought you such tolerable company. Lord More. That I can't say, madam; for, at that time, she grew so affected, there was no judging of her thoughts at all. [Mimicking her. Lady Bet. What, and so you left the poor lady! Oh, you inconstant creature!

Lord More. No, madam, to have loved her on had been inconstancy; for she was never two hours together the same woman.

[LADY BET. and LORD MORE. seem to talk. Lord Fop. [Aside.] Ha, ha, ha! I see he has a mind to abuse her; so I'll even give him an opportunity of doing his business with her at once for ever-My lord, I perceive your lordship is going to be good company to the lady; and, for her sake, I don't think it good manners in me to disturb you

Enter SIR CHARLES.

Sir Cha. My lord Foppington

Lord Fop. Oh, Charles! I was just wanting thee-Hark thee-I have three thousand secrets for thee-I have made such discoveries! to tell thee all in one word, Morelove's as jealous of me as the devil, he, he, he!

Sir Cha. Is it possible? Has she given him any occasion?

Lord Fop. Only rallied him to death upon my account; she told me, within, just now, she'd use him like a dog, and begged me to draw off for an opportunity.

Sir Cha. Oh, keep in, while the scent lies, and she is your own, my lord.

Lord Fop. I can't tell that, Charles; but I am sure she is fairly unharboured; and when once I throw off my inclinations, I usually follow them till the game has enough on't: and, between thee and I, she is pretty well blown, too; she can't stand long, I believe; for, curse catch me, if I have not rid down half a thousand pounds after her already.

Sir Cha. What do you mean?

Lord Fop. I have lost five hundred to her at piquet since dinner.

Sir Cha. You are a fortunate man, faith! you are resolved not to be thrown out, I see.

Lord Fop. Hang it, what should a man come out for, if he does not keep up to the sport? Sir Cha. Well pushed, my lord. Lord Fop. Tayo! have at her— Sir Cha. Down, down, my lordhaunches!

-ah! 'ware

Lord Fop. Ah, Charles! [Embracing him.] Prithee, let's observe a little: there's a foolish cur, now I have run her to a stand, has a mind to be at her by himself, and thou shalt see, she won't sir out of her way for him. 3 G

[They stand aside,

Lord More. Ha, ha! your ladyship is very grave of a sudden; you look as if your lover had insolently recovered his common sense.

Lady Bet. And your lordship is so very gay, and unlike yourself, one would swear you were just come from the pleasure of making your mistress afraid of you.

Lord More. No, faith, quite contrary; for, do you know, madam, I have just found out, that, upon your account, I have made myself one of the most ridiculous puppies upon the face of the earth I have, upon my faith-nay, and so extravagantly such, ha, ha, ha! that it is at last become a jest even to myself; and I can't help laughing at it for the soul of me, ha, ha, ha!

Lady Bet, I want to cure him of that laugh, now. Aside.] My lord, since you are so generous, I'll tell you another secret-Do you know, too, that I still find, (spite of all your great wisdom, and my contemptible qualities, as you are pleased, now and then, to call them) do you know, I say, that I see, under all this, that you still love me with the same helpless passion? and can your vast foresight imagine I won't use you accordingly for these extraordinary airs you are pleased to give yourself?

Lord More. Oh, by all means, madam! 'tis fit you should; and I expect it, whenever it is in your power-Confusion !

[Aside. Lady Bet. My lord, you have talked to me this half hour, without confessing pain. [Pauses, and affects to gape.] Only remember it.

Lord More Hell and tortures!

Lady Bet. What did you say, my lord?
Lord More. Fire and furies!

Lady Bet. Ha, ha! he's disordered-Now I My lord Foppington, have you a inind to your revenge at piquet?

am easy

Lord Fop. I have always a mind to an opportunity of entertaining your ladyship, madam.

[LADY BET. coquettes with LORD FOP. Lord More. Oh, Charles! the insolence of woman might furnish out a thousand devils.

Sir Cha. And your temper is enough to furnish out a thousand such women. Come away; I have business for you upon the terrace.

Lord More. Let me but speak one word to her.

Sir Cha. Not a syllable. The tongue's a weapon you'll always have the worst at; for I see you have no guard, and she carries a devilish edge.

Lady Bet. My lord, don't let any thing I have said frighten you away; for, if you have the least inclination to stay and rail, you know the old conditions; 'tis but your asking me pardon the next day, and you may give your passion any liberty you think fit.

Lord More. Daggers and death!
Sir Cha. Is the man distracted?

Sir Cha. Upon condition you'll speak no more of her to me; my lord, do as you please. Lord More. Prithee, pardon me—I know not what to do.

Sir Cha. Come along; I'll set you to work, I warrant you-Nay, nay, none of your parting ogles Will you go?

Lord More. Yes-and I hope for ever

[Erit SIR CHA. pulling away LORD MORE. Lord Fop. Ha, ha, ha! Did ever mortal monster set up for a lover with such unfortunate qualifications?

Lady Bet. Indeed, my lord Morelove has something strangely singular in his manner.

Lord Fop. I thought I should have burst to see the creature pretend to rally, and give himself the airs of one of us-But, run me through, madam, your ladyship pushed like a fencing master! that last thrust was a coup de grace, I be lieve: I'm afraid his honour will hardly meet your ladyship in haste again.

Lady Bet. Not unless his second, sir Charles, keeps him better in practice, perhaps—Well, the humour of this creature, has done me signal service to-day. I must keep it up, for fear of a second engagement. [Aside.

Lord Fop. Never was poor wit so foiled at his own weapon, sure!

it?

Lady Bet. Wit! had he ever any pretence to

Lord Fop. Ha, ha! he has not much in love, I think, though he wears the reputation of a very pretty young fellow among some sort of people; but strike me stupid if ever I could discover common sense in all the progress of his amours: he expects a woman should like him for eudeavouring to convince her, that she has not one good quality belonging to the whole composition of her soul and body.

Lady Bet. That, I suppose, is only in a modest hope, that she'll mend her faults, to qualify herself for his vast merit, ha, ha!

Lord Fop. Poor Morelove! I see she can't endure him. [Aside.

Lady Bet. Or if one really had all those faults, he does not consider, that sincerity in love is as much out of fashion as sweet snuff; nobody takes it now.

Lord Fop. Oh, no mortal, madam, unless it be here and there a squire, that's making his lawful court to the cherry-cheek charms of my lord bìshop's great fat daughter in the country.

Lady Bet. O what a surfeiting couple has he put together!

[Throwing her hand carelessly upon his. Lord Fop. Fond of me, by all that's tender!— Poor fool! I'll give thee ease immediately. [Aside.] But, madam, you were pleased just now to offer me my revenge at picquet-Now, here's nobo

better opportunity.

Lady Bet. Nay, then, I defy him; for, positively, I was never jealous in my life.

Lady Easy. How, madam! you have never been stirred enough, to think a woman strangely forward for being a little familiar in talk with him? Or, are you sure his gallantry to another never gave you the least disorder? Were you never, upon no accident, in an apprehension of losing him?

Lady Bet. Ha! Why, madam-Bless me! wh-wh-why sure you don't call this jealousy,

my

dear?

Lady Easy. Nay, nay, that is not the business -Have you ever felt any thing of this nature,

madam?

Lady Bet. Lord! don't be so hasty, my dear-any thing of this nature-O Lud! I swear I don't like it: dear creature, bring me off here; for I am half frighted out of my wits!

Lady Easy. Nay, if you can rally upon it, your wound is not over deep, I'm afraid.

Lady Bet. Well, that's comfortably said, how

ever.

Lady Easy. But come to the point-How far have you been jealous?

Lady Bet. Why, O, bless me! He gave the music one night to my lady Languish here upon the terrace: and (though she and I were very great friends) I remember I could not speak to her in a week for't-Oh!

Lady Easy. Nay, now, you may laugh if you can: for, take my word, the marks are upon you But come, what else?

Lady Bet. O, nothing else, upon my word, my dear!

Lady Easy. At your service, my dear-But, pray, what have you done with my lord Morelove?

Lady Bet. Aye, sir Charles; pray, how does your pupil do? Have you any hopes of him? Is he docible?

Sir Cha. Well, madam, to confess your triumph over me, as well as him, I own my hopes of him are lost. I offered what I could to his instruction, but he is incorrigibly yours, and undone-and the news, I presume, does not displease your ladyship.

Lady Bet. Fye, tye, sir Charles, you disparage your friend; I am afraid you don't take pains with him.

Sir Cha. Ha! I fancy, lady Betty, your goodnature won't let you sleep a nights: don't you love dearly to hurt people?

Lady Bet. O! your servant: then, without a jest, the man is so unfortunate in his want of patience, that, let me die, if I don't often pity

him.

Sir Cha. Ha! Strange goodness-O that I were your lover for a month or two! Lady Bet. What then?

Sir Cha. I would make that pretty heart's blood of yours ache in a fortnight.

Lady Bet. Huh! I should hate you: your assurance would make your address intolerable. Sir Cha. I believe it would, for I'd never address you at all.

Lady Betty. O! you clown you!

[Hitting him with her fan. Sir Cha. Why, what to do? to feed a diseased pride, that's eternally breaking out in the affectation of an ill-nature, that-in my conscience I believe is but affectation.

Lady Bet. You, or your friend, have no great reason to complain of my fondness, I believe.— Ha, ha, ha!

Lady Bet. But, pray, my dear, what occasion is there to suppose any such a thing at all? Lady Easy. Guilty, upon my honour! Lady Bet. Pshaw! I defy him to say, that ever I owned any inclination for him.

Lady Easy. No, but you have given him terrible leave to guess it.

Lady Bet. If ever you see us meet again, you'll have but little reason to think so, I can as

Lady Bet. Torment! for my part I really believe him as easy as you are.

Sir Cha. Poor intolerable affectation! You know the contrary; you know him blindly yours; you know your power, and the whole pleasure of your life's the poor and low abuse of it.

Lady Bet. Pray, how do I abuse it—if I have any power.

Sir Cha. You drive him to extremes that make him mad, then punish him for acting against his reason you've almost turned his brain, his common judgment fails him; he is now, at this very moment, driven by his despair upon a project, in hopes to free him from your power, that I am sensible, and so must every one be that has his sense, of course must ruin him with you for ever.

able disdain has forced him to do it; and should

he now suspect I offered but a hint of it to you, and in contempt of his design, I know he'd call my life to answer it: but I have no regard to men in madness; I rather choose, for once, to trust in your good-nature, in hopes the man, whom your unwary beauty had made miserable, your generosity would scorn to make ridiculous.

Lady Bet. Sir Charles, you charge me very home; I never had it in my inclination to make any thing ridiculous that did not deserve it.Pray, what is this business you think so extravagant in him?

Sir Cha. Something so absurdly rash and bold, you'll hardly forgive even me that tell it you.

Lady Bet. One! If it be a fault, sir Charles, I shall consider it as his, not yours. Pray, what

is it?

Lady Easy. I long to know, methinks.

Sir Cha. You may be sure he did not want my dissuasions from it.

Lady Bet. Let us hear it.

Sir Cha. Why this man, whom I have known to love you with such excess of generous desire, whom I have heard, in his ecstatic praises of your beauty, talk, till, from the soft heat of his distilling thoughts, the tears have fallenLady Bet. O! sir Charles

[Blushing. Sir Cha. Nay, grudge not, since 'tis past, to hear what was (though you contemned it) once his merit: but now, I own, that merit ought to be forgotten.

Lady Bet. Pray, sir, be plain.

Sir Cha. This man, I say, whose unhappy passion has so ill succeeded with you, at last has forfeited all his hopes (into which, pardon me, I confess my friendship had lately flattered him) his hopes of even deserving now your lowest pity or regard.

Lady Bet. You amaze me! For I can't suppose his utmost malice dares assault my reputation-and what

Sir Cha. No, but he maliciously presumes the world will do it for him; and, indeed, he has taken no unlikely means to make them busy with their tongues; for he is this moment upon the open terrace, in the highest public gallantry with my lady Graveairs. And to convince the world and me, he said, he was not the tame lover we fancied him, he'd venture to give her music to-night: nay, I heard him, before my face, speak to one of the hautboys to engage the rest, and desired they would all take their directions only from my lady Graveairs.

Lady Bet. My lady Graveairs! truly I think my lord's very much in the right on't-for my part, sir Charles, I don't see any thing in this that's so very ridiculous, nor indeed that ought to make me think either the better or the worse of him for't.

Sir Cha. Pshaw! pshaw! madam, you and I know 'tis not in his power to renounce you; this is but the poor disguise of a resenting passion,

vainly ruffled to a storm, which the least gentle look from you can reconcile at will, and laugh into a calm again.

Lady Bet. Indeed, Sir Charles, I shan't give myself that trouble, I believe.

Sir Cha. So I told him, madam: are not all your complaints, said I, already owing to her pride? and can you suppose this public defiance of it (which you know you can't make good, too) won't incense her more against you?—That's what I'd have, said he, staring wildly; I care not what becomes of me, so I but live to see her piqued at it.

Lady Bet. Upon my word! I fancy my lord will find himself mistaken-I shan't be piqued, I believe-I must first have a value for the thing I lose, before it piques me: piqued! ha, ha, ha! [Disordered.

Sir Cha. Madam, you've said the very thing I urged to him. I know her temper so well, said I, that though she doated on you, if you once stood out against her, she'd sooner burst, than shew the least motion of uneasiness.

Lady Bet. I can assure you, sir Charles, my lord won't find himself deceived in your opinion -piqued! Sir Cha. She has it. [Aside. Lady Easy. Alas, poor woman! how little do our passions make us!

Lady Bet. Not but I would advise him to have a little regard to my reputation in this business; I would have him take heed of publicly affronting me.

Sir Chu. Right, madam; that's what I strictly warned him of; for, among friends, whenever the world sees him follow another woman, the malicious tea-tables will be very apt to be free with your ladyship.

Lady Bet. I'd have him consider that, methinks.

Sir Cha. But, alas! madam, 'tis not in his power to think with reason; his mad resentment has destroyed even his principles of common honesty: he considers nothing but a senseless proud revenge, which, in his fit of lunacy, 'tis impossible that either threats or danger can dissuade him from.

Lady Bet. What! does he defy me, threaten me! then he shall see, that I have passions, too, and know, as well as he, to stir my heart against auy pride that dares insult me. Does he suppose I fear him? Fear the little malice of a slighted passion, that my own scorn has stung into a despised resentment! Fear him! O! it provokes me to think he dare have such a thought!

Lady Easy. Dear creature, don't disorder yourself so.

Lady Bet. Let me but live to see him once more within my power, and I'll forgive the rest of fortune.

Lady Easy. Well, I am certainly very ill-natu