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Ha! and my lord Foppington with her-Now! | ment of our reconciliation; for though, in the now, we shall see this mighty proof of your sin- little outward gallantry I received from him, I cerity-Now! my lord, you'll have a warning did not immediately trust him with my design in sure, and henceforth know me for your friend, it, yet I have a better opinion of his understand. indeed.
ing, than to suppose he could mistake it.
Lord Fop. I am struck dumb with the delibeEnter LADY EASY, and LORD FOPPINGTON. Tration of her assurance ! and do not positively
Lady Easy. In tears, my dear! what's the remember, that the nonchalance of my temper matter?
ever had so bright an occasion to shew itself beLady Bet. O, my dear, all I told you is true : fore. Sir Charles has shewn himself so inveterately my Lady Bet. My lord, I hope you will pardon enemy, that, if I believed I deserved but half his the freedom I have taken with you. hate, 'twould make me hate myself.
Lord Fop. Oh, madam, do not be under the Lord Fop. Hark you, Charles; prithee what is confusion of an apology upon my account ; for, this business?
in cases of this nature, I am never disappointed, Sir Cha. Why, yours, my lord, for aught I but when I find a lady of the same mind two know I have made such a breach betwixt them | hours together -Madam, I have lost a thou-I cannot promise much for the courage of a sand fine women in my time; but never had the woman; but if hers holds, I am sure it is wide ill manners to be out of humour with any one enough; you may enter ten abreast, my lord. | for refusing me, since I was born.
Lord Fop. Say'st thou so, Charles? Then, Il Lady Bet. My lord, that's a very prudent temhold six to four, I am the first man in the town. I per.
Lady Easy. Sure there must be some mistake. Lord Fop. Madam, to convince you that I am in this: I hope he has not made my lord your ) in an universal peace with mankind, since you enemy.
own I have so far contributed to your happiness, Lady Bet. I know not what he has done. give me leave to have the honour of completing
Lord More. Far be that thought! Alas! I am it, by joining your hand, where you have already too much in fear myself, that what I have this offered up your inclination. day committed, advised by his mistaken friend-1 Lady Bet. My lord, that's a favour I cannot ship, may have done my love irreparable preju- / refuse you. dice.
Lord More. Generous, indeed, my lord! Lady Bet. No, my lord; since I perceive his
(LORD FOPPINGTON joins their hands. little arts have not prevailed upon your good-na- Lord Fop. And, stap my breath, if ever I was ture to my prejudice, I am bound in gratitude, better pleased since my first entrance into human in duty to myself, and to the confession you have nature ! made, my lord, to acknowledge now, I have been | Sir Cha. How now, my lord ! what? throw up to blame, too.
the cards before you have lost the game? Lord More. Ha! is it possible? can you own Lord Fop. Look you, Charles, 'tis true, I did so much? O my transported heart!
design to have played with her alone : but he Lady Bet. He says I have taken pleasure in that will keep well with the ladies, must someseeing you uneasy-I own it-but 'twas when times be content to make one at a pool with that uneasiness I thought proceeded from your them; and, since I know I must engage her in love; and if you did love- 'twill not be much my turn, I don't see any great odds in letting him to pardon it.
take the first game with her. Lord More. O let my soul, thus bending to Sir Cha. Wisely considered, my lord ! your power, adore this soft descending good Lady Bet. And now, sir Charles ness!
Sir Cha. And now, madam, I'll save you the Lady Bet. And, since the giddy woman's trouble of a long speech; and, in one word, conslights I have shewn you too often, have been fess that every thing I have done in regard to public, 'tis fit, at last, the amends and reparation you this day, was purely artificial--I saw there should be so : therefore, what I offered to Sir was no way to secure you to my lord Morelove, Charles, I now repeat before this company, my but by alarming your pride with the danger of utter detestation of any past, or future gallantry, I losing him : and, since the success must have by that has, or shall be offered by me, to your unea- this time convinced you, that in love nothing is siness.
more ridiculous than an over-acted aversion, I Lord More. Oh! be less generous, or teach am sure you won't take it ill, if we at last conme to deserve it Now blush, sir Charles, at gratulate your good-nature, by heartily laughing your injurious accusation.
at the fright we had put you in: ha, ha, ha! Lord Fop. Ah! Pardi, Voila quelque chose Lady Easy. Ha, ha, ha! d'extraordinaire !
Lady Bet. Why--Well, I declare it now, I Lady Bet. As for my lord Foppington, I owe hate you worse than ever. laim thanks for having been so friendly an instru- Sir Cha. Ha, ha, ha! And was it afraid they
would take away it's love from it?- Poor lady'. Lady Grave. Have you then fallen into the Betty! Ha, ha, ha!
low contempt of exposing me, and to your wife, Lady Easy. My dear, I beg your pardon; but it is impossible not to laugh when one is so heart-1 Sir Cha. Twas impossible; without it, I could ily pleased.
never be sincere in my conversion. Lord Fop. Really, madam, I am afraid the Lady Grave. Despicable ! humour of the company will draw me into your Sir Cha. Do not think so for my sake I displeasure, too; but, if I were to expire this know she'll not reproach you-nor, by her carmoment, my last breath would positively go out riage, ever let the world perceive you have wrongwith a laugh. Ha, ha, ha!
ed her. My dearLady Bet. Nay, I have deserved it all, that's Lady Easy. Lady Graveairs, I hope you will the truth on't-but I hope, my lord, you were sup with us? not in this design against me.
Lady Grave, I cannot refuse so much good Lord More. As a proof, madam, I am inclined company, madam. never to deceive you more-l do confess I had Sir Cha. You see the worst of her resentmy share in it.
ment-- In the mean time, don't endeavour to Lady Bet. You do, my lord—then I declare it be her friend, and she'll never be your enemy. was a design, one or other—the best carried on Lady Grave. I am unfortunate--'tis what my that ever I knew in my life; and (to my shame folly has deserved, and I submit to it. I own it) for aught I know, the only thing that Lord More. So ! here is the music. could have prevailed upon my temper; 'twas a Lady Easy. Come, ladies, shall we sit ? foolish pride that has cost me many a bitten lip to support it-I wish we don't both repent, my
Lord More. Don't you repent with me, and Sabina, with an angel's face, we never shall.
By love ordained for joy ; Sir Cha. Well, madam, now the worst that Seems of the siren's cruel race, the world can say of your past conduct, is, that
To charm and then destroy. my lord had constancy, and you had tried it.
With all the arts of look and dress,
She funs the fatal fire ;
Through pride, mistaken oft for grace, Ser. My lord, Mr Lefevre's below, and desires
She bids the swains erpire. to know what time your lordship will please to The god of love, enraged to see have the music begin,
The nymph defy his flame, Lord More. Sir Charles, what say you? will Pronounced his merciless decree you give me leave to bring them hither?
Against the haughty dume. Sir Cha. As the ladies think fit, my lord.
Let age with double speed o'ertake her, Lady Bet. Oh! by all means; 'twill be better
Let love the room of pride supply ; here, unless we could have the terrace to our And, when the lovers all forsake her,
A spotless virgin let her die. Lord More. Then, pray desire them to come hither immediately.
Sir Charles comes forward with Lady Easy. Ser. Yes, my lord.
[Erit Servant. Sir Cha. Now, my dear, I find my happiness
grow fast upon me; in all my past experience of Enter Lady GRAVEAIRS.
the sex, I found, even among the better sort, so Sir Cha. Lady Graveairs !
much of folly, pride, malice, passion, and irresoLady Grave. Yes, you may well start! But lute desire, that I concluded thee but of the foredon't suppose I am now come, like a poor tame most rank, and, therefore, scarce worthy my confool, to upbraid your guilt ; but, if I could, to cern; but thou hast stirred me with so severe a blast you with a look.
I proof of thy exalted virtue, it gives me wonder Sir Cha. Come, come, you have sense-don't equal to my love-If, then, the unkindly thought expose yourself--you are unhappy, and I own of what I have been, hereafter shall intrude upon myself the cause. The only satisfaction I can of- thy growing quiet, let this reflection teach thee to fer you, is to protest, no new engagement takes be easy : me from you; but a sincere reflection of the Thy wrongs, when greatest, most thy virtue long neglect, and injuries I have done the best of proved; wives; for whose amends, and only sake, I now And, from that virtue found, I blushed, and must part with you, and all the inconvenient truly loved, pleasures of my life,
SCENE I.-The Park.
believing you, won't that do as well! But, why should you think I don't believe you? I have seen
you twice in love within this fortnight; and it Enter CLERIMONT and ATALL,
would be hard, indeed, to suppose a heart of so Cle. MR ATALL, your very humble servant. much mettle could not hold out a third engage
Atall. 0, Clerimont, such an adventure! I ment. was just going to your lodgings; such a trans- Atall. Then, to be serious, in one word, I am porting accident! in short, I am now positively honourably in love; and, if she proves the woin love for altogether!
man I am sure she must, will positively marry Cle. All the sex together, I believe!
Atall. Nay, if thou dost not believe me, and Cle. Marry! O degenerate virtue ! stand my friend, I am ruined past redemption. | Atall. Now, will you help me?
Cle. Dear sir, if I stand your friend without Cle. Sir, you may depend upon me, Pray, give
me leave first to ask a question or two. What is covered that my father was now actually under this honourable lady's name?
bonds to marry me to another woman; so, faith, Atall. Faith, I don't know. .
I even told her my name was Freeman, a GlouCle. What are her parents ?
cestershire gentleman, of a good estate, just come Atall. I can't tell..
to town about a chancery snit. Besides, I was Cle. What fortune has she?
unwilling any accident should let my father know Atall. I don't know.
of my being yet in England, lest he should find Cle. Where does she live?
me out, and force me to marry' the woman I Atall. I can't tell.
never saw (for which, you know, he commanded Cle. A very concise account of the person you me home) before I have time to prevent it. design to marry! Pray, sir, what is it you do Cle. Well, but could you not learn the lady's know of her?
name all this while? Atall. That I'll tell you. Coming yesterday Atall. No, faith, she was inexorable to all infrom Greenwich by water, I overtook a pair of treaties; only told me in general terms, that if oars, whose lovely freight was one single lady, what I vowed to her was sincere, she would give and a fellow in a handsome livery in the stern. me a proof in a few days what hazards she would When I came up, I had at first resolved to use run to requite my services; so, after having told the privilege of the element, and bait her with her where she might hear of me, I saw her into waterman's wit, till I came to the bridge; but, a chair, pressed her by the cold rosy fingers, as soon as she saw me, she very prudently pre- kissed them warm, and parted. vented my design; and, as I passed, bowed to Cle. What, then, you are quite off with the me with an humble blush, that spoke at once such lady, I suppose, that you made an acquaintance sense, so just a fear, and modesty, as put the with in the Park last week? loosest of my thoughts to rout. And, when she Atall. No, no; not so, neither : one's my found her fears had moved me into manners, the Juno, all pride and beauty ; but this my Venus, cautious gloom, that sat upon her beauties, dis- all life, love, and softness. Now, what I beg of appeared; her sparkling eyes resumed their na- thee, dear Clerimont, is this : Mrs Juno, as I tive fire ; she looked, she smiled, she talked, told you, having done me the honour of a civil while her diffusive charms new fired my heart, visit or two at my own lodgings, I must needs and gave my soul a softness it never felt before. borrow thine to entertain Mrs Venus in; for, it To be brief, her conversation was as charming as the rival goddesses should meet and clash, you her person, both easy, unconstrained, and spright- know there would be the devil to do between ly; but, then, her limbs! O rapturous thought ! them. The snowy down upon the wings of unfledged Cle. Well, sir, my lodgings are at your serlove had never half that softness.
vice :-but you must be very private and sober, Cle. Raptures, indeed! Pray, sir, how came I can tell you; for my landlady's a Presbyterian; you so well acquainted with her limbs ?
if she suspects your design, you're blown up, deAtall. By the most fortunate misfortune sure pend upon it. that ever was : for, as we were shooting the Atall. Don't fear: I'll be as careful as a guilty bridge, her boat, by the negligence of the water conscience : but, I want immediate possession : man, running against the piles, was overset; out for I expect to hear from her every moment, jumps the footman, to take care of a single rogue, and have already directed her to send thither. and down went the poor lady to the bottom. My Prithee, come with me. boat being before her, the stream drove her, by Cle. Faith, you must excuse me; I expect the help of her clothes, toward me; at sight of some ladies in the Park that I would not miss her, I plunged in, caught her in my arms, and, for an empire: but yonder's my servant, he shall with much ado, supported her till my waterman conduct you. pulled in to save ns. But the charming difficulty Atall. Very good! that will do as well, then. of her getting into the boat, gave me a transport I'll send my man along with him to expect her that all the wide water in the Thames had not commands, and call me if she sends : and, in the power to cool; for, sir, while I was giving her a mean time, I'll e'en go home to my own lodgings ; lift into the boat, I found the floating of her for, to tell you the truth, I expect a small message clothes had left her lovely limbs beneath as bare there from my goddess imperial. And I am not as a new-born Venus rising from the sea.
so much in love with my new bird in the bush, Cle. What an impudent happiness art thou ca- as to let t'other fly out of my hand for her. pable of!
Cle. And, pray, sir, what name does your godAtall. When she was a little recovered from dess imperial, as you call her, know you by? her fright, she began to enquire my name, abode, Atall. O, sir, with her I pass for a man of and circumstances, that she might know to whom arms, and am called colonel Standfast; with my she owed her life and preservation. Now, to new face, Joho Freeman of Flatland-Hall, esq. tell you the truth, I durst not trust her with my -But time flies : I must leave you. real name, lest she should from thence have dis Cle. Well, dear Atall, I'm yours-Good luck to you! [Erit ATALL.)– What a happy fellow is try; and she's in love with nothing o' this side this, that owes bis success with the women pure- the line, but the apothecaries. ly to his inconstancy! Here comes another, too, Cle. Apothecaries quotha ! why your fine lady, almost as happy as he, a fellow that's wise enough for aught I see, is a perfect dose of folly and to be but half in love, and make his whole life a physic; in a month's time she'll grow like an studied idleness.
antimonial cup, and a kiss will be able to work
with you. . Enter Careless. .
Care. But to prevent that, Tom, I design,
upon the wedding-day, to break all her gallipots, Su, Careless ! you're constant, 1 see, to your kick the doctor down stairs, and force her, inmorning's saunter- Well, how stand matters? stead of physic, to take a hearty meal of a swing-I hear strange things of thee; that, after having ing rump of boiled beef and carrots; and so 'faith railed at marriage all thy life, thou hast resolved I have told her. to fall into the voose at last.
Cle. That's something familiar: are you so Care. I don't see any great terror in the poose, near man and wife? as you call it, when a man's weary of liberty: Care. O nearer ; for I sometimes plague her the liberty of playing the fool, when one's turned till she hates the very sight of me. of thirty, is not of much value.
Cle. Ha, ha! very gond! So, being a very Cle. Hey-day! Then, you begin to have no- | troublesome lover, you pretend to cure her of thing in your head now, but settlements, children, her physic by a counter poison. and the main chance !
Care. Right ; I'intend to fee a doctor to preCare. Even so, faith! but in hopes to come scribe to her an hour of my conversation to at them, too, I am forced very often to make my be taken every night and morning; and this to way through pills, elixirs, bolus's, ptisans, and be continued till her fever of aversion's over. gallipots.
Cle. An admirable recipe! Cle. What, is your mistress an apothecary's Care. Well, Tom, but how stands thy own widow?
affair? Is Clarinda kind yet? Care. No, but she is an apothecary's shop, Cle. Faith, I cannot say she's absolutely kind, and keeps as many drugs in her bed-chamber; but she's pretty near it: for she's grown so ridishe has her physic for every hour of the day and culously ill-humoured to me of late, that, if she night--for 'tis vulgar, she says, to be a moment keeps the same airs a week longer, I am in hopes in rude and perfect health. Her bed lined with to find as much ease from her folly, as my conpoppies; the black boys at the feet, that the stancy would from her good-nature. – But to be healthy employ to bear flowers in their arms, she plain, I'm afraid I have some secret rival in the loads with diascordium, and other sleepy potions : case ; for women's vanity seldoin gives thein her sweet bags, instead of the common and courage enough to use an old lover beartily ill, offensive smells of musk and amber, breathe no- till they are first sure of a new one, that they inthing but the more modish and salubrious scents tend to use better. of hartshorn, rue, and assafoetida. .
| Care. What says sir Solomon ? He is your Cle. Why, at this rate, she's only fit to be friend, I presume the consort of Hippocrates. But, pray, what Cle. Yes; at least I can inake him so when I other charms has this extraordinary lady? please. There is an odd five hundred pound in
Care. She has one, Tom, that a man may re her fortune, that he has a great mind should stick lish without being so deep a physician.
to his fingers, when he pays in the rest on't, Cle. What's that?
which I am afraid I must comply with; for she Care. Why, two thousand pounds a year. can't easily marry without his consent.- And
Cle. No vulgar beauty, I confess, sir. But yet she's so altered in her behaviour of late, that canst thou, for any consideration, throw thyself I scarce know what to do.-Prithee, take a turn into this hospital, this box of physic, and lie all and advise me. night like leaf-gold upon a pill?
Care. With all my heart.
[Ereunt. Care. 0, dear, sir, this is not half the evil; her humour is as fantastic as her diet; nothing SCENE II.-Changes to Sir SOLOMON SADLIFE'S that is English must come near her; all her
house. delight is in foreign impertinencies: her rooms are all of Japan or Persia, her dress Indian, and
| Enter Sir Solomon, and Supple his man. her equipage are all monsters: the coachman came over with his horses, both from Russia, Sir Sol. Supple, dost not thou perceive I put Flanders are too common; the rest of her trim a great confidence in thee? I trust thee with are a motley crowd of blacks, tawny, olives, my bosom secrets. feulamuts, and pale blues: in short, she's for Sup. Yes, sir. any thing that comes from beyond sea; her Sir Sot. Ah, Supple! I begin to hate my wife greatest monsters are those of her own coun- ---but be secret