shew your breeding, and a little ill-natured in it to shew your wit?

Wish. Oh, madam, it is not half kind enough. Pray, put in some more dears.

Sir Sol. Aye, aye, sweeten it well; let it be all

Wish. Aye, sir, that is, if I designed him for my gallant; but, since he is to be but my hus-syrup, with a pox to her! band, I must be very good-natured and civil before I have him; and huff him, and shew my wit after.

Sir Sol. Here's a jade for you!-[Aside.]But why must you huff your husband, hussy?

Wish. Oh. sir, that's to give him a good opinion of my virtue! for you know, sir, a husband cannot think one could be so very domineering, if one were not very honest.

Sir Sol. 'Sbud, this fool, on my conscience, speaks the sense of the whole sex!

[Aside. Wish. Then, sir, I have been told, that a husband loves one the better, the more one hectors him; as a spaniel does, the more one beats him. Sir Sol. Ha! Thy husband will have a blessed

time on't.

Wish. Every line should have a dear sweet sir in it, so it should- -He'll think I don't love him, else.

et!

Sir Sol. Poor moppet

Lady Sud. No, no; 'tis better now- -Well, what must be at the bottom, to answer Strephon?

Sir Sol. Pray, let her divine ladyship sign Abigail.

Wish. No, pray, madam, put down Lipsamintha.

Sir Sol. Lipsamintha !

Lady Sad. No, come, I'll write Celia. Here, go in and seal it.

Sir Sol. Ay, come, I'll lend you a wafer, that he mayn't wait for your ladyship. Wish. Pshaw! you always flout one.

[Exeunt SIR SOL. and WISH. Lady Sad. So, this is luckily over- -Well, I see, a woman should never be discouraged from coming off at the greatest plunge; for, though I was half dead with the fright, yet, now, I am a little recovered, I find

That apprehension does the bliss endear;
The real danger's nothing to the fear.

[Exit.

ACT IV.

SCENE I-SIR SOLOMON'S. Enter LADY SADLIFE, ATALL, and WISHWELL, with lights.

Lady Sad. THIS room, I think, is pleasanter; if you please, we'll sit here, sir-Wishwell, shut the door, and take the key o' the inside, and set chairs

Wish. Yes, madam.

Lady Sad. Lard, sir, what a strange opinion you must have of me, for receiving your visits upon so slender an acquaintance!

Atall. I have a much stranger opinion, madam, of your ordering your servant to lock herself in with us.

Lady Sad. Oh, you would not have us wait upon ourselves?

up to an occasion of being without her, it would look worse to send her out, than to have let her wait without, when she was without.

Lady Sad. You are pretty hard to please, I find, sir. Some men, I believe, would think themselves well used in so free a reception as yours.

Atall. Ha! I see this is like to come to nothing this time; so I'll e'en put her out of humour, that I may get off in time to my incognita. [Aside.] Really, madam, I can never think myself free, where my hand and my tongue are tied. [Pointing to WISHWELL. Lady Sad. Your conversation, I find, is very different from what it was, sir.

Atall. With submission, madam, I think it very proper for the place we are in. If you had Atall. Really, madam, I cannot conceive, that sent for me only to sip tea, to sit still, and be citwo lovers, alone, have much occasion for atten- vil, with my hat under my arm, like a strange redance. [They sit. lation from Ireland, or so, why was I brought hiLady Sad. Lovers! Lard, how you talk!ther with so much caution and privacy? Can't people converse without that stuff?

Atall. Um-Yes, madam, people may; but, without a little of that stuff, conversation is generally very apt to be insipid.

Lady Sad. Pooh! why, we can say any thing without her hearing, you see.

Atall. Aye; but if we should talk ourselves

[SIR SOLOMON knocks at the door.
Wish. Oh, Heavens ! my master, madam!
Sir Sol. [Within.] Open the door there!
Lady Sad. What shall we do?

Atull. Nothing now, I'm sure.

Lady Sad. Open the door, and say the gentleman came to you.

Wish. Oh, lud, madam, I shall never be able to manage it at so short a warning! We had better shut the gentleman into the closet, and say he came to nobody at all.

Lady Sad. In, in, then, for mercy's sake, quickly, sir!

Atall. So this is like to be a very pretty business! Oh, success and impudence, thou hast quite forsaken me! [Enters the closet. Wish. Do you step into your bed-chamber, madam, and leave my master to me.

[Exit LADY SADLIFE. WISHWELL opens the door, and SIR SOLOMON

enters.

Sir Sol. What's the reason, mistress, I am to be locked out of my wife's apartment?

Wish. My lady was washing her-her-neck, sir, and I could not come any sooner.

Sir Sol. I'm sure I heard a man's voice. [Aside.] Bid your lady come hither.[Exit WISHWELL.] He must be hereabouts-'tis so; all's out, all's over, now: the devil has done his worst, and I am a cuckold in spite of my wisdom. 'Sbud! now, an Italian would poison his wife for this, a Spaniard would stab her, and a Turk would cut off her head with a scymitar; but a poor dog of an English cuckold now can only squabble and call names-Hold, here she comes I must smother my jealousy, that her guilt mayn't be upon its guard.

Enter LADY SADLIFE and WISHWELL. Sir Sol. My dear, how do you do? Come hither, and kiss me.

Lady Sad. I did not expect you home so soon, my dear.

Sir Sol. Poor rogue! I don't believe you did, with a pox to you. [Aside.] Wishwell, go down; I have business with your lady.

lous or not.

Sir Sol. No, no; I tell you, I'm so tired, I am not able to walk. There, make haste.

Lady Sad. Would all were well over! [Exit. Sir Sol. Tis so, by her eagerness to be rid of me. Well, since I find I dare not behave myself like a man of honour in this business, I'll at least act like a person of prudence and penetration; for say, should I clap a brace of slugs now in the very bowels of this rascal, it may hang me; but if it does not, it can't divorce me. No, I'll e'en put out the candles, and in a soft, gentle whore's voice, desire the gentleman to walk about his business; and if I can't get him out before my wife returns, I'll fairly post myself in his room; and so, when she comes to set him at liberty, in the dark, I'll humour the cheat, till I draw her into some casual confession of the fact, and, then, this injured front shall bounce upon her like a thunderbolt. [Puts out the candles.

Wish. [Behind.] Say you so, sir! I'll take care my lady shall be provided for you. [Exit. Sir Sol. Hist, hist, sir, sir!

Enter ATALL from the closet.

Atall. Is all clear? May I venture, madam? Sir Sol. Aye, aye; quick, quick! make haste before sir Solomon returns. A strait-backed dog, I warrant him. [Aside.] But when shall I see you again?

Atall. Whenever you'll promise me to make a better use of an opportunity.

Sir Sol. Ha! then 'tis possible he mayn't yet have put the finishing stroke to me.

Atall. Is this the door?

Sir Sol. Aye, aye, away. [Exit ATALL.] So, now the danger of being murdered is over, I find my courage returns: and, if I catch my wife but inclining to be no better than she should be, I'm not sure that blood won't be the consequence. He goes into the closet, and WISHWELL enters.

Wish. So-my lady has her cue; and if my wise master can give her no better proofs of his penetration than this, she'd be a greater fool than he, if she should not do what she has a mind to. Sir, sir, come; you may come out now; sir Solomon's gone.

Enter SIR SOLOMON, from the closet. Sir Sol. So, now for a soft speech, to set her impudent blood in a ferment, and then let it out with my penknife. [Aside.] Come, dear creature, now let's make the kindest use of our op

Wish. Yes, sir-but I'll watch you; for I am afraid this good-humour has mischief at the bottom of it. [Retires. Lady Sad. I scarce know whether he is jea[Aside. Sir Sol. Now, dare not I go nearer that closet door, lest the murderous dog should poke a hole in my guts through the key-hole. Um-I have an odd thought in my head-aye, and that will discover the whole bottom of her affair.'Tis better to seem not to know one's dishonour, when one has not courage enough to revenge it. Lady Sad. I don't like his looks, methinks. Sir Sol. Odso! what have I forgot, now?-portunity. Prithee, my dear, step into my study-for I am so weary! and, in the uppermost parcel of letters, you'll find one that I received from Yorkshire to-day, in the scrutoir; bring it down, and some paper; I will answer it while I think on't. Lady Sad. If you please to lend me your key--But had you not better write in your study, my dear?

Wish. Not for the world. If sir Solomon should come again, I should be ruined. Pray, begone-I'll send to you to-morrow.

Sir Sol. Nay, now you love me not; you would not let me part else thus unsatisfied.

Wish. Now you're unkind. You know I love you, or I should not run such hazards for you. Sir Sol. Fond whore ! [Aside.] But I'm afraid

you love sir Solomon, and lay up your tenderness | be the man that is to marry her, you know there may be no harın done yet.

for him.

Wish. Oh, ridiculous! How can so sad a wretch give you the least uneasy thought? I loath the very sight of him.

Sir Sol. Damned, infernal strumpet!—I can bear no longer-Lights, lights, within there!

[Siezes her. Wish. Ah! [Shrieks] Who's this? Help!murder!

Sir Sol. No, traitress, don't think to escape me; for, now I've trapped thee in thy guilt, I could find in my heart to have thee flead alive, thy skin stuffed, and hung up in the middle of Guildhall, as a terrible consequence of cuckoldom to the whole city-Lights there!

Enter LADY SADLIFE, with a light.

Lady Sad. Oh, Heavens! what's the matter? [SIR SOLOMON looks astonished. Ha! what do I see? My servant on the floor, and sir Solomon offering rudeness to her! Oh, I I can't bear it! Oh! [Falls into a chair. Sir Sol. What has the devil been doing here? Lady Sad. This the reward of all my virtue Oh, revenge, revenge!

Sir Sol. My dear, my good, virtuous, injured dear, be patient; for here has been such wicked doings

Lady Sad. Oh, torture! Do you own it, too? 'Tis well my love protects you. But for this wretch, this monster, this sword shall do me justice on her.

[Runs at WISHWELL with SIR SOLOMON's
sword.

Sir Sol. Oh, hold, my poor mistaken dear! This horrid jade, the gods can tell, is innocent for me; but she has had, it seems, a strong dog in the closet here; which I suspecting, put myself into his place, and had almost trapped her in the very impudence of her iniquity.

Lady Sad. How! I'm glad to find he dares not own 'twas his jealousy of me[Aside.

Wish. Yes, it was he indeed, madam. Sir Sol. [Aside.] I must not let the jade be turned away, for fear she should put it in my wife's head that I hid myself to discover her ladyship, and then the devil would not be able to live in the house with her.

you.

Wish. Now, sir, you know what I can tell of [Aside to SIR SOL. Sir Sol. Mum-that's a good girl; there's a guinea for you.

Lady Sad. Well, upon your intercession, my dear, I'll pardon her this fault. But pray, mis(tress, let me hear of no more such doings. I am so disordered with this fright-Fetch my prayerbook; I'll endeavour to compose myself.

[Exit LADY SAD. and WISH.

Sir Sol. Ay, do so; that's my good dearWhat two blessed escapes have I had! to find myself no cuckold at last, and, (which had been equally terrible,) my wife not know I wrongfully suspected her!--Well, at length I am fully convinced of her virtue-and now, if I can but cut off the abominable expence, that attends some of her impertinent acquaintance, I shall shew myself a Machiavel.

Re-enter WISHWELL.

Wish. Sir, here's my lady Dainty come to wait upon my lady.

Sir Sol. I'm sorry for't, with all my heartWhy did you say she was within?

Wish. Sir, she did not ask, if she was; but she's never denied to her.

Sir Sol. Gadso! why, then, if you please to leave her ladyship to me, I'll begin with her now.

WISHWELL brings in LADY DAINTY.

Lady Dain. Sir Solomon, your very humble servant.

Sir Sol. Yours, yours, madam.
Lady Dain. Where's my lady?

Sir Sol. Where your ladyship very seldom is→→→ at prayers.

Enter LADY SADLIFE.

Lady Sad. My dear lady Dainty!

Lady Dain. Dear madain, I ain the happiest

Wish. [Kneeling.] Dear madam, I hope your ladyship will pardon the liberty I took in your absence, in bringing my lover into your ladyship's chamber; but I did not think you would come home from prayers so soon; and so I was forced to hide him in that closet: but my master sus-person alive in finding your ladyship at home. pecting the business, it seems, turned him out unknown to me, and then put himself there, and so had a mind to discover whether there was any harm between us; and so, because he fancied I had been naught with him

Sir Sol. Ay, my dear; and the jade was so confoundedly fond of me, that I grew out of all patience, and fell upon her like a fury.

Lady Sad. Horrid creature! And does she think to stay a minute in the family after such impudence?

Sir Sol. Hold, my dear!—for, if this should
VOL. II.

Sir Sol. So, now for a torrent of impertinence. Lady Sad. Your ladyship does me a great deal of honour.

Lady Dain. I am sure I do myself a great deal of pleasure. I have made at least twenty visits to-day. Oh, I'm quite dead! not but my coach is very easy-yet so much perpetual motion, you know

Sir Sol. Ah, pox of your disorder! If I had the providing your equipage, odzooks, you should rumble to your visits in a wheel-barrow. [Aside. Lady Sud. Was you at my lady dutchess's? 3 L

marry me, depend upon it. Do that, and I'll trouble you no more.

Sir Sol. This fellow's abominable! He'll certainly have her. [Aside. Lady Dain. There's no depending upon your din-word, or else I might; for the last time I saw you, you told me then, you would trouble me no more.

Lady Sad. You did not dine there? Lady Dain. Oh, I can't touch any body's ner but my own!- -and I have almost killed myself this week, for want of my usual glass of Tokay, after my ortolans and Muscovy duck

eggs.

Sir Sol. 'Sbud, if I had the feeding of you, I'd bring you, in a fortnight, to neck-beef, and a pot of plain bub. [Aside. Lady Dain. Then I have been so surfeited with the sight of a hideous entertainment to-day, at my lady Cormorant's, who knows no other happiness, or way of making one welcome, than eating or drinking: for, though she saw I was just fainting at her vast limbs of butcher's meat, yet the civil savage forced me to sit down, and heaped enough upon my plate to victual a fleet for an East India voyage.

Lady Sad. How could you bear it? Ha, ha! Does your ladyship never go to the play?

Care. Ay, that's true, madam; but to keep one's word, you know, looks like a tradesman. Sir Sol. Impudent rogue! But he'll have her.

[Aside. Care. And is as much below a gentleman as paying one's debts.

Sir Sol. If he is not hanged first. [Aside. Care. Besides, madam, I considered that my absence might endanger your constitution, which is so very tender, that nothing but love can save it; and so I would e'en advise you to throw away your juleps, your cordials, and slops, and take me all at once.

Lady Dain. No, sir; bitter potions are not to be taken so suddenly.

Care. Oh, to choose, madam; for, if you stand

[Pressing her.

Lady Dain. What mean you, sir? Care. To banish all your ails, and be myself your universal medicine.

Lady Dain. Never, but when I bespeak it my-making of faces, and kicking against it, you'll but self; and, then, not to mind the actors; for it's increase your aversion, and delay the cure. common to love sights. My great diversion is, Come, come; you must be advised. in a reposed posture, to turn my eyes upon the galleries, and bless myself to hear the happy savages laugh; or when an aukward citizen crowds herself in among us, 'tis an unspeakable pleasure to contemplate her airs and dress: and they never 'scape me; for I am as apprehensive of such a creature's coming near me, as some people are when a cat is in the room. But the play is begun, I believe; and, if your ladyship has an inclination, I'll wait upon you.

Lady Sad. I think, madam, we can't do better; and here comes Mr Careless most opportunely to squire us.

Sir Sol. Careless! I don't know him; but my wife does, and that's as well.

Enter CARELESS.

Care. Ladies, your servant. Seeing your coach at the door, madam, made me not able to resist this opportunity to-to-you know, madam, there's no time to be lost in love. Sir Solomon, your servant.

Sir Sol. Well said! he'll have her. [Aside. Lady Dain. Impudent, robust man! I protest, did not I know his family, I should think his parents had not lived in chairs and coaches, but had used their limbs all their lives! Hu! hu! but I begin to be persuaded health is a great blessing.

[Aside.

Care. My limbs, madam, were conveyed to me before the use of chairs and coaches; and it might lessen the dignity of my ancestors, not to use them as they did.

Lady Dain. Was ever such a rude understanding, to value himself upon the barbarism of his forefathers! Indeed, I have heard of kings, that were bred to the plough, and, I fancy, you might descend from such a race; for you court as if you were behind one-Huh! huh! huh! To treat a woman of quality like an Exchange wench, and express your passion with your arms-unpolish

Care. I was willing, madam, to take from the vulgar the only desirable thing among them, and shew you-how they live so healthy-for they have no other remedy,

Sir Sol. Oh, yours, yours, sir!- -A very im-ed man! pudent fellow; and I'm in hopes will marry her. [Aside. Lady Dain. The assurance of this creature almost grows diverting: all one can do, can't make him the least sensible of a discouragement. Lady Sad. Try what compliance will do; perhaps that may fright him.

Lady Dain. If it were not too dear a remedy -One would almost do any thing to get rid of company.

his

Care. Which you never will, madam, till you

Lady Dain. A very rough medicine! huh!

huh!

Care. To those that never took it, it may seem so

Lady Dain. Abandoned ravisher! Oh!

[Struggling

Sir Sol. He has her! he has her!' Aside.

Lady Dain. Leave the room, and see my face | to one man, you see; and if we should both