Wor. Do you know one captain Plume, sir? Braz. Is he any thing related to Frank Plume in Northamptonshire?-Honest Frank! many, many a dry bottle have we cracked hand to fist. You must have known his brother Charles, that was concerned in the India Company; he married the daughter of Old Tonguepad, the master in Chancery, a very pretty woman, only she squinted a little; she died in child-bed of her first child, but the child survived: 'twas a daughter; but whether it was called Margaret or Margery, upon my soul I can't remember. [Looking on his watch. But, gentlemen, I must meet a lady, a twenty thousand pounder, presently, upon the walk by the water-Worthy, your servant; Laconic, yours. [Exit BRAZ Bal. If you can have so mean an opinion of Melinda as to be jealous of this fellow, I think she ought to give you cause to be so. Wor. I don't think she encourages him so much for gaining herself a lover, as to set up a rival. Were there any credit to be given to his words, I should believe Melinda had made him this assignation. I must go see, sir; you'll pardon me. [Exit WOR. Bal. Ay, ay, sir; you're a man of businessBut what have we got here? Enter Rose, singing. Rose. And I shall be a lady, a captain's lady, and ride single upon a white horse with a star, upon a velvet side-saddle; and I shall go to London, and see the tombs, and the lions, and the king and queen. Sir, an please your worship, I have often seen your worship ride through our grounds a hunting, begging your worship's pardon. Pray, what may this lace be worth a-yard? [Shewing some lace. Bal. Right Mechlin, by this light! Where did you get this lace, child? Rose. No matter for that, sir; I came honestly by it. Bal. I question it much. [Aside. Rose. And see here, sir, a fine Turkey-shell snuff-box, and fine mangere: see here. [Takes snuff affectedly.] The captain learnt me how to take it with an air. Bal. Oh ho! the captain! now the murder's out. And so the captain taught you to take it with an air? Rose. Yes, and give it with an air, too. Will your worship please to taste my snuff? [Offers the box affectedly. Bal. You are a very apt scholar, pretty maid! And pray, what did you give the captain, for these fine things? Rose. He's to have my brother for a soldier, and two or three sweethearts I have in the country; they shall all go with the captain. Oh, he's the finest man, and the humblest withal. Would you believe it, sir? he carried me up with him to his own chamber, with as much fam-mam mil-yararality as if I had been the best lady in the land. Bal. Oh! he's a mighty familiar gentleman as can be. Enter PLUME, singing. Plume. But it is not so With those that go My maid with the milking-pail. [Takes hold of Rose. How, the justice! then I'm arraigned, condemned, and executed. Bal. Oh, my noble captain! Plume. 'Sdeath! child, are you mad?—Mr Balance, I am so full of business about my recruits, that I han't a moment's time to-I have just now three or four people to— Bal. Nay, captain, I must speak to you- Plume. Any other time, sir-I cannot for my life, sir Bal. Pray, sir Plume. Twenty thousand things-I wouldbut-now, sir, pray-Devil take me-I cannot -I must Bal. Nay, I'll follow you. [Breaks away. [Exit. BAL. [Exit. SCENE II.-The walk by the Severn side. Enter MELINDA, and her maid Lucy. Mel. And, pray, was it a ring, or buckle, or pendents, or knots? or in what shape was the almighty gold transformed, that has bribed you so much in his favour? Lucy. Indeed, madam, the last bribe I had from the captain was only a small piece of Flanders' lace for a cap. Mel. Ay, Flanders' lace is as constant a present from officers to their women, as something else is from their women to them. They every year bring over a cargo of lace to cheat the king of his duty and his subjects of their honesty. Lucy. They only barter one sort of prohibited goods for another, madam. Mel. Has any of them been bartering with you, Mrs Pert, that you talk so like a trader? Lucy. One would imagine, madam, by your concern for Worthy's absence, that you should use him better when he's with you. Mel. Who told you, pray, that I was concerned for his absence? I'm only vexed that I have had nothing said to me these two days: as one may love the treason and hate the traitor. Oh! here comes another captain, and a rogue that has the confidence to make love to me; but, indeed, I don't wonder at that, when he has the assurance to fancy himself a fine gentleman. Lucy. If he should speak o' the assignation, I | should be ruined. [Aside. Enter BRAZEN. Braz. True to the touch, faith! [Aside.] Madam, I am your humble servant, and all that, madam. A fine river this same Severn-Do you love fishing, madam? Mel. 'Tis a pretty melancholy amusement for lovers. Reason still keeps its throne, but it nods a little Wor. Then you're just fit for a frolic. the pit. Wor. There's your play, then; recover me that vessel from that Tangerine. Plume. She's well rigged; but how is she manned? Wor. By captain Brazen, that I told you of to-day; she is called the Melinda, a first rate, I can assure you; she sheered off with him just now, on purpose to affront me; but, according to your advice, I would take no notice, because I would seem to be above a concern for her be Bruz. I'll go buy hooks and lines presently; for you must know, madam, that I have served in Flanders against the French, in Hungary against the Turks, and in Tangier against the Moors, and I was never so much in love before; and, split me, madam, in all the campaigns Ihaviour; but have a care of a quarrel. ever made I have not seen so fine a woman as your ladyship. Mel. And from all the men I ever saw, I never had so fine a compliment: but you soldiers are the best bred men; that we must allow. Braz. Some of us, madam; but there are brutes among us, too; very sad brutes; for my own part, I have always had the good luck to prove agreeable. I have had very considerable offers, madam-I might have married a German princess worth fifty thousand crowns a-year; but her stove disgusted me. The daughter of a Turkish bashaw fell in love with ine, too, when I was a prisoner among the infidels; she offered to rob her father of his treasure, and make her escape with me; but I don't know how, my time was not come hanging and marriage, you know, go by destiny: Fate has reserved me for a Shropshire lady worth twenty thousand pounds. Do you know any such person, madain? Mel. Extravagant coxcomb! [Aside.] To be sure, a great many ladies of that fortune would be proud of the name of Mrs Brazen. Braz. Nay, for that matter, madam, there are women of very good quality of the name of Brazen. Plume. No, no: I never quarrel with any thing in my cups, but an oysterwench or a cookmaid; and if they ben't civil, I knock them down. But, hark'e, my friend, I'll make love, and I must make love-I tell you what, I'll make love like a platoon. Wor. Platoon! how's that? Plume. I'll kneel, stoop, and stand, faith: most ladies are gained by platooning. Wor. Here they come; I must leave you. [Exit WoR. Plume. So! now must I look sober and de mure. sir. Enter BRAZEN and MELINDA. Who's that, madam ? Mel. A brother officer of your's, I suppose, Braz. Ay-my dear! Plume. My dear! [TO PLUME. [Run, and embrace. Braz. My dear boy! how is't? Your name, my dear! If I be not mistaken, I have seen your face. Plume. I never saw your's in my life, my dear -but there's a face well known as the sun's, that shines on all, and is by all adored. Braz. Have you any pretensions, sir? Plume. Pretensions! Braz. That is, sir, have you ever served abroad? Plume. I have served at home, sir, for ages served this cruel fair, and that will serve the turn, sir. Mel. So, between the fool and the rake, I shall bring a fine spot of work upon my hands! I sec Worthy yonder; I could be content to be friends with him, would he come this way. Bruz. Will you fight for the lady, sir? Thou peerless princess of Salopian plains, Behold, how humbly does the Severn glide, Braz. Don't mind him, madam-if he were not so well dressed, I should take him for a poet; but I'll shew you the difference presently. Come, madam, we'll place you between us, and now, the longest sword carries her. [Draws. Mel. [Shrieking.] Enter WORTHY. Oh, Mr Worthy! save me from these madmen. [Exit with. WOR. Plume. Ha, ha, ha! why don't you follow, sir, and fight the bold ravisher? Braz. No, sir, you are the man. Plume. I don't like the wages; I won't be your man. Braz. Then, you're not worth my sword. Plume. No! pray, what did it cost? Braz. It cost me twenty pistoles in France, and enemies thousands of lives in Flanders. my Plume. Then they had a dear bargain. iny Enter SYLVIA, in man's apparel. Syl. Save ye, save ye! gentlemen. Plume. Do you know the gentleman? Braz. No, but I will presently-Your name, dear? Syl. Wilful, Jack Wilful, at your service. Braz. What, the Kentish Wilfuls, or those of Staffordshire? Syl. Both, sir, both; I'm related to all the Wilfuls in Europe, and I'm head of the family at present. Plume. Do you live in this country, sir? Syl. Yes, sir, I live where I stand; I have neither home, house, or habitation, beyond this spot of ground. Braz. What are you, sir? Syl. A rake. Plume. In the army, I presume? Syl. No; but I intend to list immediately. Look'e, gentleman, he that bids the fairest, has Syl. Yes. Braz. Then your business is done-I'll make you chaplain to the regiment. Syl. Your promises are so equal, that I'm at a loss to choose. There is one Plume that I hear much commended in town; pray, which of you is captain Plume? Plume. I am captain Plume. Braz. No, no; 1 am captain Plume. Plume. Captain Plume! I'm your servant, my dear! Braz. Captain Brazen! I'm your's-The fellow dares not fight. [Aside. Enter KITE. Kite. Sir, if you please [Goes to whisper PLUME. Plume. No, no, there's your captain. Captain Plume, your serjeant has got so drunk, he mistakes me for you. Braz. He's an incorrigible sot. Here, my Hector of Holborn, here's forty shillings for you. Plume. I forbid the bans. Look'e, friend, you shall list with captain Brazen. Syl. I will see captain Brazen hanged first! I will list with captain Plume: I am a free-born Englishman, and will be a slave my own way. Look'e, sir, will you stand by me? [To BRAZ Bruz. I warrant you, my lad. Syl. Then, I will tell you, captain Brazen, [To PLUME.] that you are an ignorant, pretending, impudent coxcomb. Braz. Ay, ay, a sad dog. Syl. A very sad dog. Give me the money, noble captain Plume. Plume. Then you won't list with captain Bra zen? Syl. I won't. Braz. Never mind him, child; I'll end the dispute presently. Hark'e, my dear! [Takes PLUME to one side of the stage, and entertains him in dumb shew.] Kite. Sir, he in the plain coat is captain Plume; I am his serjeant, and will take my oath on't. Syl. What! you are serjeant Kite? Kite. At your service. Syl. Then I would not take your oath for a farthing. Kite. A very understanding youth of his age! Pray, sir, let me look you full in the face. Syl. Well, sir, what have you to say to my face? Kite. The very image of my brother; two bullets of the same caliber were never so like: it must be Charles; Charles Syl. What do you mean by Charles? Kite. The voice, too; only a little variation in F faut flat. My dear brother! for I must call you so, if you should have the fortune to enter into the most noble society of the sword, I bespeak you for a comrade. Syl. No, sir, I'll be the captain's comrade, if any-body's. Kite. Ambition! there again! 'tis a noble passion for a soldier; by that I gained this glorious halberd. Ambition! I see a commission in his face already. Pray, noble captain, give me leave to salute you. [Offers to kiss her. Syl. What! men kiss one another? Kite. We officers do, 'tis our way; we live together like man and wife, always either kissing or fighting: but I see a storm coming. Syl. Now, serjeant, I shall see who is your captain by your knocking down the other. [PLUME and BRAZEN fight a traverse or two Braz. Hold! "where's the man? Braz. Then, what do we fight for? [Puts up.] Plume. With all my heart, my dear! [Putting up.] I suppose Kite has listed him by this time, [Embraces. Braz. You are a brave fellow! I always fight with a man before I make him my friend; and if once I find he will fight, I never quarrel with him afterwards. And, now, I'll tell you a sething,cret, my dear friend! that lady we frightened out of the walk just now, I found in bed this morning, so beautiful, so inviting;-I presently locked the door-but I'm a man of honour-but I believe I shall marry her nevertheless-her twenty thousand pounds, you know, will be a pretty conveniency. I had an assignation with her here; but your coming spoiled my sport. Curse you, my dear! but don't do so againPlume. No, no, my dear! men are my business at present. [Exeunt. Kite. My captain scorns assistance, sir. Braz. How dare you contend for any and not dare to draw your sword? But you are a young fellow, and have not been much abroad; I excuse that: but prithee, resign the man, prithee do: you are a very honest fellow. Plume. You lie; and you are a son of a whore. [Draws, and makes up to BRAZEN. Braz. Hold, hold; did not you refuse to fight for the lady? Plume. I always do; but, for a man, I'll fight knee-deep; so you lie again. SCENE 1.-The walk continues. ACT IV. Enter Rose and BULLOCK meeting. Rose. WHERE have you been, you great booby? you are always out of the way in the time of preferment. Bul. Preferment! who should prefer me? Rose. I would prefer you! who should prefer a man but a woman? Come, throw away that great club, hold up your head, cock your hat, and look big. Bul. Ah, Ruose, Ruose! I fear somebody will look big sooner than folk think of. Here has been Cartwheel, your sweetheart; what will become of him? Rose. Look'e, I'm a great woman, and will provide for my relations: I told the captain how Enely he played upon the tabor and pipe, so he set him down for drum-major. Bul. Nay, sister, why did not you keep that place for me? you know I have always loved to be a drumming, if it were but on a table or on a quart pot. Enter SYLVIA. Syl. Had I but a commission in my pocket, I fancy my breeches would become me as well as any ranting fellow of them all; for I take a bold step, a rakish toss, a smart cock, and an impudent air, to be the principal ingredients in the composition of a captain. What's here? Rose, my nurse's daughter! I'll go and practise. Come, child, kiss me at once. [Kisses ROSE.] And her brother, too! Well, honest Dungfork, do you know the difference between a horse and a cart, and a cart-horse? eh? Bul. I presume, that your worship is a captain, by your clothes and your courage. Syl. Suppose I were, would you be contented to list, friend? Rose. No, no; though your worship be a handsome man, there be others as fine as you. My brother is engaged to captain Plume. Syl. Plume! do you know captain Plume? Rose. Yes, I do, and he knows me. He took the ribbands out of his shirt sleeves, and put them into my shoes: see there-I can assure you, that I can do any thing with the captain. Bul. That is, in a modest way, sir. Have a care what you say, Ruose; don't shame your parentage. Rose. Nay, for that matter, I am not so simple as to say, that I can do any thing with the captain but what I may do with any body else. Syl. So! And pray, what do you expect from this captain, child? Rose. I expect, sir!-I expect-but he ordered me to tell nobody-but suppose he should propose to marry me? Syl. You should have a care, my dear! men will promise any thing beforehand. Rose. I know that; but he promised to marry | circumstances are not so good as the captain's ; me afterwards. Bul. Wauns! Ruose, what have you said? Rose. After I had sold my chickens-I hope there's no harm in that. Enter PLUME. Plume. What, Mr Wilful! so close with my market woman? Syl. I'll try if he loves her. [Aside.] Close, sir, ay, and closer yet, sir. Come, my pretty maid! you and I will withdraw a little. Plume. No, no, friend; I han't done with her Plume. Thou'rt a bloody impudent fellow! vice. Plume. Hast thou really a mind to the service? Syl. Yes, sir; so let her go. Rose. Pray, gentlemen, don't be so violent. Plume. Come, leave it to the girl's own choice. Will you belong to me or to that gentleman? Rose. Let me consider; you're both very hand some. Plume. Now the natural inconstancy of her sex begins to work. Rose. Pray, sir, what will you give me? Bul. Dunna be angry, sir, that my sister should be mercenary, for she's but young. but I'll take care of you, upon my word. Plume. Ay, ay, we'll all take care of her; she shall live like a princess, and her brother here | shall be-What would you be? Bul. Oh, sir, if you had not promised the place of drum-major! Plume. Ay, that is promised; but what think you of barrack-master? you are a person of understanding, and barrack-master you shall be— But what's become of this same Cartwheel you told me of, my dear? Rose. We'll go fetch him-Come, brother barrack-master--We shall find you at home, noble captain? [Exeunt ROSE and BUL. Plume. Yes, yes; and, now, sir, here are your forty shillings. Syl. Captain Plume, I despise your listing-money; if I do serve, 'tis purely for love of that wench, I mean-for you must know, that among my other sallies, I've spent the best part of my fortune in search of a maid, and could never find one hitherto; so you may be assured, I'd not sei! my freedom under a less purchase than I did my estate-so, before I list, I must be certified that this girl is a virgin. Plume. Mr Wilful, I can't tell you how you can be certified in that point till you try; but, upon my honour, she may be a vestal for aught that I know to the contrary. I gained her heart, indeed, by some trifling presents and promises, and knowing, that the best security for a woman's heart is her person, I would have made myself master of that too, had not the jealousy of my impertinent landlady interposed. Syl. Give thee, child! I'll set thee above scandal; you shall have a coach, with six before, and six behind; an equipage to make vice fashion-complishing your designs upon her? able, and put virtue out of countenance. Syl. So you only want an opportunity for ac Plume. Pho! that's easily done: I'll do more for thec, child; I'll buy you a furbelow-scarf, and give you a ticket to see a play. Bul. A play! wauns! Ruose, take the ticket, and let's see the show. Syl. Look'e, captain, if you won't resign, I'll go list with captain Brazen this minute. Plume. Will you list with me, if I give up my title? Syl. I will. Plume. Take her; I'll change a woman for a man at any time. Rose. I have heard before, indeed, that you captains used to sell your men. Bul. Pray, captain, do not send Ruose to the Western Indies. Plume. Ha, ha, ha! West Indies! No, no, my honest lad; give me thy hand; nor you nor she shall move a step farther than I do. This gen tleman is one of us, and will be kind to you, Mrs Rose. Rose. But will you be so kind to me, sir, as the captain would? Syl. I can't be altogether so kind to you; my Plume. Not at all; I have already gained my ends, which were only the drawing in one or two of her followers. Kiss the prettiest country wenches, and you are sure of listing the lustiest fellows. Syl. Well, sir, I am satisfied as to the point in debate; but now, let me beg you to lay aside your recruiting airs, put on the man of honour, and tell me plainly, what usage I must expect, when I am under your command? Plume. You must know, in the first place, then, I hate to have gentlemen in my company; they are always troublesome and expensive, sometimes dangerous: and, 'tis a constant maxim amongst us, that those who know the least obey the best. Notwithstanding all this, I find something so agreeable about you, that engages me to court your company; and I can't tell how it is, but I should be uneasy to see you under the command of any body else. Your usage will chiefly depend upon your behaviour; only, this you must expect, that, if you commit a small fault, I will excuse it; if a great one, I'll discharge you; for something tells me, I shall not be able to punish you, Syl. And something tells me, that if you do |