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discharge me, 'twill be the greatest punishment / might kill one in four-and-twenty hours-And you can inflict; for, were we this moment to go did you ask him any questions about me? upon the greatest dangers in your profession, they Mel. You ! why I passed for you. would be less terrible to me than to stay behind! Lucy. So 'tis I, that am to die a maid-But you—And now, your hand! this lists me—and the devil was a liar from the beginning; he now you are my captain.

can't make me die a maid-I've put it out of his Plume. Your friend: Kisses her.] 'Sdeath! power already.

Aside. there's something in this fellow that charms me! Mel. I do but jest. I would have passed for

Syl. One favour I must beg—this affair will you, and called myself Lucy; but he presently told make some noise, and I have some friends that me my name, my quality, my fortune, and gave me would censure my conduct, if I threw myself into the whole history of my life. He told me of a the circumstance of a private centinel of my own lover I had in this country, and described Worhead-I must therefore take care to be imprest

thy exactly, but in nothing so well as in his preby the act of parliament; you shall leave that to sent indifference-I fled to him for refuge to

day; he never so much as encouraged me in my Plume. What you please as to that-Will you fright, but coldly told me, that he was sorry for lodge at my quarters in the mean time? you shall the accident, because it might give the town cause have part of my bed.

to censure my conduct, excused his not waiting Syl. O fy! lie with a common soldier! would on me home, made me a careless bow, and walknot you rather lie with a common woman? ed off-'Sdeath! I could have stabbed him, or

Plume. No, faith, I am not that rake, that the myself; 'twas the same thing-Yonder he comes world imagines. I've got an air of freedom, | --I will so use hiin! which people mistake for lewdness in me, as they | Lucy. Don't exasperate him; consider what mistake formality in others for religion. The the fortune-teller told you. Men are scarce; and, world is all a cheat; only I take mine, which is as times go, it is not impossible for a woman to undesigned, to be more excusable than theirs, die a maid. which is hypocritical. I hurt nobody but myself; they abuse all mankind-Will you lie with ine?

Enter Worthy. Syl. No, no, captain; you forget Rose; she's

o cantain: von forget Rose: she's Mel. No matter. to be my bedfellow, you know.

Wor. I find she's warmed; I must strike, while Plume. I had forgot : pray be kind to her. I the iron is hot-You've a great deal of courage,

(Exeunt severally.madam, to venture into the walks, where you

were so lately frightened. Enter Melinda and Lucy.

Mel. And you have a quantity of impudence Mel. 'Tis the greatest misfortune in nature for to appear before me, that you so lately have afa woman to want a confident: we are so weak, | fronted. that we can do nothing without assistance; and Wor. I had no design to affront you, nor apthen a secret racks us worse than the colic-I ain pear before you either, madam; I left you here, at this minute so sick of a secret, that I'm ready because I had business in another place; and to faint away- Help me, Lucy!

came hither, thinking to meet another person. Lucy. Bless me! Madam, what's the matter? Mel. Since you find yourself disappointed, I

Mel. Vapours only; I begin to recover. If hope you'll withdraw to another part of the Sylvia were in town I could heartily forgive her | walk. faults for the ease of discovering my own. { Wor. The walk is broad enough for us both.

Lucy. You are thoughtful, madam; am not I [They walk by one another, he with his hat cockworthy to know the cause?

ed, she fretting and tearing her fan.] Will you Mel. Oh, Lucy! I can hold my secret no please to take snuff, madam? [He offers her his longer. You must know, that, hearing of a fa-1 bor. She strikes it out off his hand; while he is mous fortune-teller in town, I went, disguised, to gathering it up, BRAZEN enters, and takes her satisfy a curiosity, which has cost me dear. The | round the waist ; she cuffs him.] fellow is certainly the devil, or one of his bosom Braz. What, here before me, my dear! favourites : he has told me the most surprising

Mel. What ineans this insolence? things of my life.

Lucy. Are you mad? don't you see Mr WorLucy. Things past, madam, can hardly be rec-| thy ?

[To BRAZEN. koned surprising, because we know them already. Braz. No; no; I'm struck blind-Worthy ! Did he tell you any thing surprising that was to odso! well turned-My mistress has wit at her come.

finger's ends--Madamn, I ask your pardon; 'tis Mel. One thing very surprising; he said I our way abroad-Mr Worthy, you're the happy should die a maid !

man. Lucy. Die a inaid ! come into the world for Wor. I don't envy your happiness very much, nothing! Dear madam! if you believe him, it if the lady can afford no other sort of favours might come to pass; for the bare thought on't but what she has bestowed upon you.

Mel. I'm sorry the favour miscarried, for it | Plume. What letter? was designed for you, Mr Worthy; and, be assu- Wor, One that I would not let you see, for red, 'tis the last and only favour you must expect fear that you should break windows in good earat my hands captain, I ask your pardon. nest. Here, captain, put it into your pocket

f Erit with Lucy. | book, and have it ready upon occasion. Braz. I grant it- You see, Mr Worthy,

[Knocking at the door. 'twas only a random-shot; it might have taken Kite. Officers, to your posts. Tycho, mind off your head as well as mine. Courage, ny the door. dear! 'tis the fortune of war; but the enemy | Ereunt Plume and WORTuy. Servant has thought fit to withdraw, I think.

opens the door. Wor. Withdraw! Oons! Sir, what d'ye mean by withdraw?

Enter MELINDA and Lucy. Braz. I'll shew you.

[Erit Brazen. Wor. She's lost, irrecoverably lost, and Plume's Kite. Tycho, chairs for the ladies. advice has ruined me. 'Sdeath! why should I, Mel. Don't trouble yourself; we shan't stay, that knew her haughty spirit, be ruled by a man doctor. that's a stranger to her pride?

Kite. Your ladyship is to stay much longer

than you imagine. Enter Plume.

Mel. For what? Plume. Ha, ha, ha! a battle royal ! Don't Kite. For a husband-For your part, madam, frown so, man; she's your own, I tell you : Il you won't stay for a husband. [To Lucy. saw the fury of her love in the extremity of her Lucy. Pray, doctor, do you converse with the passion. The wildness of her anger is a certain stars or the devil? sign that she loves you to madness. That rogue, Kite. With both; when I have the destinies Kite, began the battle with abundance of con- of men in search, I consult the stars; when the duct, and will bring you off victorious, my life affairs of women come under my hands, I advise on't; he plays his part admirably : she's to be with him again presently.

Mel. And have you raised the devil upon my Wor. But what could be the meaning of Bra- account? zeu's familiarity with her ?

Kite. Yes, madam, and he's now under the Plume. You are no logician, if you pretend to table. draw consequences from the actions of fools-1. Lucy. Oh, heavens protect us ! Dear madam, Whim, unaccountable whim, burries them on, let's be gone. like a man drunk with brandy before ten o'clock Kite. If you be afraid of him, why do ye come in the morning— But we lose our sport; to consult him? Kite has opened about an hour ago : let's away. Níel. Don't fear, fool.-Do you think, sir,

that because I'm a woman, I'm to be fooled out

of my reason, or frighted out of my senses? Come, SCENE II.- A chamber ; a table with books show ine this devil. and globes.

Kite. He's a little busy at present; but when

he has done he shall wait on you. Kite disguised in a strange habit, sitting at a Mel. What is be doing?. table.

Kite. Writing your name in his pocket-book. kite. (Rising.] By the position of the hea Mel. Ha, ha! my name! pray what have you vens, gained froin my observation upon these ce-or he to do with my name? lestial globes, I find, that Luna was a tide-waiter;! Kite. Look'e, fair lady, the devil is a very moSol a surveyor; Mercury a thief; Venus a whore; dest person ; he seeks nobody, unless they seek Saturn an alderman; Jupiter a rake; and Mars him first; he's chain'd up like a mastiff, and can't a serjeant of grenadiers ; -and this is the system stir unless he be let loose-You come to me to of Kite the conjurer.

have your fortune told-do you think, madam,

that I can answer you of my own head? No, Enter PLUME and WORTHY.

madanı, the affairs of women are so irregular, Plume. Well, what success ?

that nothing less than the devil can give any acKite. I have sent away a shoemaker and a tai-count of them. Now, to convince yon of your lor already; one's to be a captain of the marines, incredulity, I'll shew you a trial of my skill. and the other a major of dragoons-I am to ma- | Here, you Cacodemo del Plumno, exert your nage them at night-Have you seen the lady, power; draw me this lady's name; the word MeMr Worthy?

linda, in proper letters and characters of her Ior. Ave, but it won't do-Have you shewed own hand-writing.–Do it at three motions-one her her name, that I tore off from the bottom of -two-three--'tis done-Now, madam, will you the letter?

please to send your maid to fetch it? Kite. No, sir, I reserve that for the last stroke. Lucy. I fetch it! the devil fetch me, if I do!

Ereunt. / that because

Mel. My name in my own hand-writing! that! Lucy. O pray, sir, discharge us first! would be convincing indeed.

Kite. Tycho, wait on the ladies down stairs. Kite. Seeing is believing. [Goes to the table,

Ereunt MELINDA and Lucy. and lifts up the carpet.] Here Tre, Tre, poor Tre, give ine the bone, sirrah. There's your

Enter Worthy and Plume. name upon that square piece of paper. Behold !

Mel. 'Tis wonderful! my very letters to a Kite. Mr Worthy, you were pleased to wish me tittle!

jay to-day; I hope to be able to return the comLucy. 'Tis like your hand, madam, but not so pliment to-morrow. like your hand, neither: and now, I look nearer, Wor. I'll make it the best compliment to you, 'tis not like your hand at all.

that ever I made in my life, if you do; but I Kite. Here's a chambermaid, now, will outlie must be a traveller, you say? the devil!

Kite. No farther than the chops of the chanLucy. Look'e, madam, they sha'nt impose up-nel, I presume, sir. on us; people can't remember their hands, no Plume. That' we have concerted already. more than they can their faces—Come, madam, (Knocking hard.] Heyday! you don't profess let us be certain ; write your name upon this midwifery, doctor? paper, then we'll compare the two hands.

Kite. Away to your ambuscade. [Takes out a paper, and folds it.

[Ereunt Worthy and PLUME. Kite. Any thing for your satisfaction, madam -Here's pen and ink.

Enter Brazen. MELINDA writes, Lucy holds the paper. Lucy. Let me see it, madam; 'tis the same Braz. Your servant, my dear! the very same- But I'll secure one copy for Kite. Stand off; I have my familiar already. my own affairs.

Aside. Braz. Are you bewitched, my dear? Mel. This is demonstration !

Kite. Yes, my dear! but mine is a peaceable Kite. 'Tis so, madam—the word Demonstration spirit, and hates gunpowder. Thus I fortify mycomes from Dæmon, the father of lies.

self: [Draws a circle round him.] and now, capMel. Well, doctor, I'm convinced : and now, tain, have a care how you force my lines. pray, what account can you give of my future for- Braz. Lines! what dost talk of lines ! you tune?

have something like a fishing-rod there, indeed; Kite. Before the sun has made one course

but I come to be acquainted with you, manround this earthly globe, your fortune will be fix- What's your name, my dear? ed for happiness or misery.

Kite. Conundruin. Mel. What! so near the crisis of my fate? Braz. Conundrum? rat me! I knew a famous

Kite. Let me see-About the hour of ten to-doctor in London of your name— Where were morrow morning, you will be saluted by a gentle- you born? man, who will come to take his leave of you, Kite. I was born in Algebra. being designed for travel; his intention of going Braz. Algebra ! 'tis no country in Christenabroad is sudden, and the occasion a woman. dom, I'm sure, unless it be some place in the Your fortune and his are like the bullet and the Highlands in Scotland. barrel, one runs plump into the other-In short, Kite. Right– I told you I was bewitched. if the gentleman travels, he will die abroad, and Braz. So am I, my dear! I am going to be if he does, you will die before he comes home. married—[ have had two letters from a lady of Mel. What sort of a man is he?

fortune that loves me to madness, fits, cholic, Kite. Madam, he's a fine gentleman, and a lo- spleen, and vapours -shall I marry her in ver; that is, a man of very good sense, and a ve-four-and-twenty hours, ay or no? ry great fool.

Kite. Certainly. Mel. How is that possible, doctor?

Braz. Gadso, ay.Kite. Because, madam-because it is so-A Kite. Or no-Eut I must have the year, and woman's reason is the best for a inan's being a the day of the month, when these letters were fool.

dated Mel. Ten o'clock, you say?

Braz. Why, you old bitch! did you ever hear Kite. Ten-about the hour of tea-drinking of love-letters dated with the year and day of throughout the kingdom.

the month? do you think billetdoux are like Mel. Here, doctor. [Gives money.] Lucy, have bank-bills? you any questions to ask?

Kite. They are not so good, my dear-but if Lucy. Ob, madam! a thousand.

they bear no date, I must examine the contents. Kite. I must beg your patience till another Braz. Contents that you shall, old boy! here tiine, for I expect more company this minute; they be both. besides, I must discharge the gentleman under Kite. Only the last you received, if you please. the table.

[Takes the letter.] Now, sir, if you please to let me consult my books for a minute, I'll send this to draw in Brazen for a husband-But are you letter enclosed to you with the determination of sure 'tis not Melinda's hand ? the stars upon it to your lodgings. men, drawers, whores, and groom-porters in Lon- | vitude. How did you use me the year before! don; for I wear a red-coat, a sword, piquet in when, taking the advantage of my innocence and my head, and dice in my pocket.

Wor. You shall see; where's the bit of paper Braz. With all my heart-I must give him, I gave you just now, that the devil wrote Melin[Puts his hands in his pockets Algebra! I fan- | da upon ? cy, doctor, 'tis hard to calculate the place of your Kite. Here, sir. nativity-Here-[Gives him money. And if I Plume. 'Tis plain they are not the same: and succeed, I'll build a watch-tower on the top of is this the malicious name that was subscribed to the highest mountain in Wales, for the study of the letter which made Mr Balance send his daughastrology, and the benefit of the Conundrums. ter into the country?

(Erit. Wor. The very same : the other fragments I

shewed you just now, I once intended for anoEnter Plume and WORTIY.

ther use; but I think I have turned it now to a Wor. O doctor! that letter's worth a million; | better advantage let me see it : and now I have it, I'm afraid to Plume. But 'twas barbarous to conceal this so open it.

lony, and to continue me so many hours in the Plume. Pho! let me see it. [Opening the let. pernicious beresy of believing that angelic creater.) If she be a jilt-Damn her, she is one ture could change. Poor Sylvia ! there's her name at the bottom on't.

Wor. Rich Sylvia, you mean, and poor capWor. How! then I'll travel in good earnest- tain; ha, ha, ha!-Come, come, friend, MelioBy all my hopes, 'tis Lucy's hand!

linda is true, and shall be mine ; Sylvia is conPlume. Lucy's!

stant, and may be yours. Wor. Certainly-'tis no more like Melinda's Plume. No, she's above my hopes but for character, tban black is to white.

her sake, I'll recant my opinion of her sex. Plume. Then 'tis certainly Lucy's contrivance !



SCENE I.- Justice Balance's house. Bal. What, then you are married, child?

[To Rose Enter Balance and Scale.

Rose. Yes, sir, to my sorrow, Scale. I say, 'tis not tu be borne, Mr Balance. Bal. Who was witness ?

Bal. Look'e, Mr Scale, for my own part I Bul. That was I–I danced, threw the stockshall be very tender in what regards the officers ing, and spoke jokes by their bedside, I'm sure. of the army; I only speak in reference to captain Bal. Who was the ininister? Plume--for the other spark, I know nothing of. Bul. Minister! we are soldiers, and want no

Scale. Nor can I hear of any body that does minister-they were married by the articles of -Oh, here they come.

war. Enter Sylvia, BULLOCK, Rose, Prisoners, Con

Bal. Hold thy prating, fool Your appear

ance, sir, proinises some understanding; pray, stable, and Mob.

what does this fellow mean? Const. May it please your worships, we took | Syl. He means marriage, I think--but that, thein in the very act, re infecta, sir— The gen- you know, is so odd a thing, that hardly any two tleman, indeed, behaved himself like a gentle people under the sun agree in the ceremony; man, for he drew his sword and swore, and af- some make it a sacrainent, others a convenience, terwards laid it down, and said nothing.

and others make it a jest; but among soldiers Bal. Give the gentleman his sword again- 'tis most sacred-our sword you know is our hoWait you without. [Ereunt Constable and nour, that we lay down the hero jumps over it Ilatch.] I'm sorry, sir, [T, Sylvia) to know a first, and the amazon after- leap, rogue; folgentleman upon such terms, that the occasion of | low, whore--the drum beats a ruff, and so to our meeting should prevent the satisfaction of bed : that's all: the ceremony is concise. .. an acquaintance.

Bul. And the prettiest ceremony, so full of Syl. Sir, you need make no apology for your pastime and prodigalitywarrant, no more than I shall do for my beha- Bal. Whai! are you a soldier ? viour—my innocence is upon an equal foot with Bul. Ay, that I am-Will your worship lend your authority.

me your cane, and I'll shew you how I can exScale. Innocence ! have you not seduced that ercise ? young maid?

Bal. Take it. [Strikes him over the head.] Syl. No, Mr Goosecap, she seduced me. Pray, sir, what commission may you bear?

Bul. So she did, I'll swear-for she proposed marriage first.

Syl. I'ın called captain, sir, by all the coffee

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necessity, you would have made me your misScale. Your name, pray, sir?

tress, that is, your slave-Remember the wicked Syl. Captain Pinch: I cock my hat with a insinuations, artful baits, deceitful arguments, pinch, I take snuff with a pinch, pay my whores cunning pretences; then your impudent behaviwith a pinch; in short, I can do any thing at a our, loose expressions, familiar letters, rude vipinch, but fight and fill my belly

sits; remember those, those, Mr Worthy. Bal. And pray, sir, what brought you into Wor. I do remember, and am sorry I made Shropshire?

no better use of them. [Aside.] But you may reSyl. A pinch, sir : I know you country gentlemember, madam, that men want wit, and you know that we town gen- Mel. Sir, I'll remember nothing—'tis your intlemen want money; and so-

terest that I should forget. You have been bar· Bal. I understand yon, sir-Here, constable- barous to me, I have been cruel to you ; put

that and that together, and let one balance the Enter Constable.

other- Now, if you will begin upon a new Take this gentleman into custody till further or score, lay aside your adventuring airs, and beders.

have yourself handsomely till Lent be over, Rose. Pray your worship don't be uncivil to I here's my hard, I'll use you as a gentleman him, for he did me ng burt; he's the most harm- should be. less man in the world, for all he talks so.

Wor. And If I don't use you as a gentlewoScale. Come, come, child; I'll take care of you, man should be, may this be my poison ! Syl. What, gentlemen, rob me of my freedoin

[Kissing her hand. and my wife at once ! 'tis the first time they ever went together.

Enter a Servant. Bal. Hark'e, constable. (Whispers him. Ser. Madam, the coach is at the door. Const. It shall be done, sir-come along, sir. Mel. I am going to Mr Balance's country

Ereunt Constable, BULLOCK, and SYLVIA. house to see my cousin Sylvia ; I have done Bal. Come, Mr Scale, we'll manage the spark her an injury, and can't be easy till I've asked her presently.

Exeunt. pardon,

Wor. I dare not hope for the honour of wait. SCENE II.-MELINDA's apartment. ing on you.

Mel. My coach is full; but if you'll be so galEnter Melinda and Worthy.

lant as to mount your own horse and follow us, Mel. So far the prediction is right; 'uis ten ex- we shall be glad to be overtaken; and if you actly. [Aside. And pray, sir, how long have you bring captain Plume with you, we shan't have been in this travelling humour?

the worse reception. Wor. Tis natural, madam, for us to avoid Wor. I'll endeavour it. what disturbs our quiet.

[Erit, leading Melinda. Mel. Rather the love of change, which is more natural, may be the occasion of it.

SCENE III.The market place. Wor. To be sure, madam, there must be charms in variety, else neither you nor I should

Enter Plume and Kite. be so foud of it.”

Plume. A baker, a tailor, a smith, butchers, Mel. You mistake, Mr Worthy; I am not so carpenters, and journeymen-shoemakers, in all fond of variety as to travel fort ; nor do I think thirty-nineit prudence in you to run yourself into a certain Kite. The butcher, sir, will have his hands expence and danger, in hopes, of precarious plea-full, for we have two sheep-stealers among us

I hear of a fellow, too, committed just now for Wor. What pleasures I may receive abroad stealing of horses. are indeed uncertain; but this I am sure of, I Plume. We'll dispose of him among the shall meet with less cruelty among the most bar- dragoons- Have we never a poulterer among barous of nations, than I have found at home. us?

Mel. Come, sir, you and I have been jangling Kite. Yes, sir; the king of the gipsies is a a great while; I fancy if we made up our accounts very good one; he has an excellent hand at a we should the sooner come to an agreement. goose or a turkey-Here's captain Brazen, sir.

Wor. Sure, madam, you won't dispute your I must go look after the men. [Erit KITE. being in my debt- My fears, sighs, vows, promises, assiduities, anxieties, jealousies, have run

Enter Brazen, reading a letter. on for a whole year without any payment. I Braz. Um, um, um! the canonical hour

Mel. A year! oh, Mr Worthy! what you owe Um, uin, very well-My dear Plume! give me a to me is not to be paid under a seven years' ser-buss. .

Vol. II,


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