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Plume. Half a score if you will, my dear! | need not trouble yourself to follow her, because What hast got in thy hand, child?
her journey to justice Balance's is put off, and Braz. 'Tis a project for laying out a thousand she's gone to take the air another way. pounds.
(TO WORTHY. Plume. Were it not requisite to project first Wor. How! her journey put off? how to get it in?
Plume. That is, her journey was a put-off to Braz. You can't imagine, my dear, that I you. want twenty thousand pounds. I have spent Wor. 'Tis plain, plain-But how, where, when twenty times as much in the service- --but is she to meet Brazen ? if this twenty thousand pounds should not be Plume. Just now, I tell you; half a mile hence, in specie
at the water-side. Plume. What twenty thousand ?
Wor. Up or down the water? Braz. Heark'e
[Whispers. Plume. That I don't know. Plume. Married !
Wor. I'm glad my horses are ready-Jack, get Braz. Presently; we're to meet about half a them out. mile out of town at the waterside and so Plume. Shall I go with you . forth Reads. Look'e there, my dear dog! I Wor. Not an inch–I shall return presently. Shews the bottom of the letter to PLUME.
Erit. Plume. Melinda! and by this light her own Plume. You'll find me at the hall : the jushand! Once more if you please, my dear-Her | tices are sitting by this time, and I must attend hand exactly—Just now, you say? Braz. This minute; I must be gone.
SCENE IV.-A court of justice. Plume. Have a little patience, and I'll go with
BALANCE, SCALE, and SCRUPLE, upon the Braz. No, no, I see a gentleman coming this
bench; Constable, KITE, mob.-KITE and Con. way that may be inquisitive; tis Worthy-do you
stable advance. know him?"
Kite. Pray, who are those honourable gentlePlume. By sight only.
men upon the bench? Braz. Have a care, the very eyes discover Const. He, in the middle, is justice Balance; he, secrets.
[Erit. on the right, is justice Scale; and he, on the left, is Enter Worthy.
justice Scruple; and I am Mr Constable ; four
very honest gentlemen. Wor. To boot and saddle, captain ; you must Kite. O dear, sir! I am your most obedient mount.
servant. (Saluting the constable.] I fancy, sir, Plume. Whip and spur, Worthy, or you that your employment and mine are much the won't mount.
same; for my business is to keep people in Wor. But I shall; Melinda and I are agreed; order, and, if they disobey, to knock them down; she's gone to visit Sylvia; we are to mount and and then, we are both staff-officers. follow ; and, could we carry a parson with Const. Nay, I'm a serjeant myself of the us, who knows what might be done for us both? militia-Come, brother, you shall see me exer
Plume. Don't trouble your head; Melinda has | cise. Suppose this a musket; now, I'm shouldersecured a parson already.
ed. [Puts his staff on his right shoulder. Wor. Already do you know more than I? Kite. Ay, you are shouldered pretty well for
Plume. Yes, I saw it under her hand-Brazen a constable's staff; but, for a musket, you must and she are to meet half a mile hence at the put it on the other shoulder, my dear! water-side, there to take boat, I suppose, to be Const. Adso! that's true—Come, now give the ferryed over to the Elysian Fields, if there be word of command. any such thing, in matrimony.
Kite. Silence. Wor. I'parted with Melinda just now; she as- Const. Ay, ay; so we will—we will be silent. sured me she hated Brazen, and that she resolv Kite. Silence, you dog, silence! ed to discárd Lucy for daring to write letters to [Strikes him over the head with his halberd. him in her name.“
Const. That's the way to silence a man, with a Plume. Nay, nay, there's nothing of Lucy in witness! What do you mean, friend? this-I tell ye I saw Melinda's hand as surely as Kite. Only to exercise you, sir. this is mine.
Const. Your exercise differs so much from ours, Wor. But I tell you she's gone this minute to that we shall ne'er agree about it; if my own Justice Balance's country-house.
captain had given me such a rap, I had taken the Plume. But I tell you she's gone this minute law of him. to the water-side.
Bal. Captain, you're welcome.
I the mi
Scrup. Come, honest captain, sit by me. [PLUME! Kite. I'll take care of him, if you please. ascends, and sits upon the bench.] Now, produce
[Takes him down. your prisoners-Here, that fellow there, set him Scale. Here, you constable, the next. Set up up. Mr Constable, what have you to say against that black-faced fellow ; he has a gunpowder this man?
look; what can you say against this man, conConst. I have nothing to say against him, an stable ? please you.
Const. Nothing, but that he's a very honest Bal. No? what made you bring him hither? man. Const. I don't know, an please your worship. Plume. Pray, gentlemen, let me have one ho
Scale. Did not the contents of your warrant nest man in my company, for the novelty's sake. direct you what sort of men to take up?
Bal. What are you, friend? Const. I can't tell, an please ye; I can't read. Mob. A collier; I work in the coal-pits.
Scrup. A very pretty constable, truly ! I find Scrup. Look'e, gentlemen, this fellow has a we have no business here.
trade; and the act of parliament here expresses Kite. May it please the worshipful bench, Ithat we are to impress no man that has any visidesire to be heard in this case, as being the coun- ble means of a livelihood. sel for the king.
Kite. May it please your worship, this man Bal. Come, serjeant, you shall be heard, since has no visible means of a livelihood, for he works nobody else will speak; we won't come here for under ground. nothing.
Plume. Well said, Kite; besides, the army Kite. This man is but one man, the country | wan's miners. may spare him, and the army wants him; be- Bal. Right, and had we an order of governsides, he's cut out by nature for a grenadier; he's ment for it, we could raise you, in this and the five feet ten inches high; he shall box, wrestle, neighbouring county of Stafford, five hundred or dance the Cheshire round with any man in the colliers, that would run you under ground, like country; he get's drunk every Sabbath-day, and moles, and do more service in a siege than all he beats his wife.
the miners in the army. . Wife. You lie, sirrah, you lie ; an please your Scrup. Well, friend, what have you to say for worship, he's the best natured pains-taking'st man yourself? in the parish, witness my five poor children. Mob. I'm married.
Scrup. A wife and five children ! you consta Kite. Lack-a-day! so am I. ble, you rogue, how durst you impress a inan Mob. Here's my wife, poor woman. that has a wife and five children?
Bal. Are you married, good woman? Scale. Discharge him, discharge him.
Wom, I'm married in conscience. Bal. Hold, gentlemen! Hark'e, friend, how Kite. May it please your worship, she's with do you maintain your wife and five children? child in conscience.
Plume. They live upon wild-fowl and venison, Scale. Who married you, mistress? sir; the husband keeps a gun, and kills all the Wom. My husband : we agreed that I should hares and partridges within five miles round. call himn husband, to avoid passing for a whore,
Bal. A gun! nay, if he be so good at gunning, and that he should call me wife, to shun going for he shall have enough on't. He may be of use a soldier. against the French; for he shoots flying, to be Scrup. A very pretty couple! Pray, captain, sure.
will you take them both ? Scrup. But his wife and children, Mr Ba- Plume. What say you, Mr Kite: will you take lance.
care of the woman? Wife, Ay, ay, that's the reason you would send | Kite. Yes, sir; she shall go with us to the seahim away; you know I have a child every year, side, and there, if she has a wind to drown herand you are afraid that they should come upon self, we'll take care nobody shall hinder her. the parish at last.
Bal. Here, constable, bring in my man. [Exit Plume. Look'e there, gentlemen, the honest Const.] Now, captain, I'll fit you with a man woman has spoke it at once; the parish had bet- such as you never listed in your life. ter maintain five children this year, than six or seven the next. That fellow, upon this high
Enter Constable and Sylvia. feeding, may get you two or three beggars at a | Oh, my friend Pinch! I'm very glad to see you. birth.
Syl. Well, sir, and what then? Wife. Look'e, Mr Captain, the parish shall get Scale. What then ! is that your respect to the nothing by sending him away; for I won't lose bench? my teeming-time, if there be a man left in the Syl. Sir, I don't care a farthing for you ner parish.
your bench neither. Bal. Send that woman to the house of correc- Scrup. Look'e, gentlemen, that's enough; he's tion and the man
a very impudent fellow, and fit for a soldier.
Scale. A notorious rogue, I say, and very fit | Bal. No more! there were five two hours ago. for a soldier.
Syl. 'Tis true, sir, but this rogue of a constaConst. A whoremaster, I say, and therefore fit ble let the rest escape for a bribe of eleven shulto go.
lings a man, because he said the act allowed him Bal. What think you, captain?
but ten; so the odd shilling was clear gains. Plume. I think he's a very pretty fellow, and AU Just. How? therefore fit to serve.
Syl. Gentlemen, he offered to let me go away Syl. Me for a soldier! send your own lazy for two guineas, but I had not so much about me: lubberly sons at home; fellows that hazard their this is truth, and I'm ready to swear it. necks every day in the pursuit of a fox, yet dare | Kite. And I'll swear it: give me the book; 'tis not peep abroad to look an enemy in the face. for the good of the service.
Const. May it please your worships, I have a Mob. May it please your worship, I gave him woman at the door to swear a rape against this half a crown to say that I was an honest man; rogue.
but, now, since that your worships have made me Syl. Is it your wife or daughter, booby? I ra- \ a rogue, I hope I shall have my money again. vished them both yesterday.
Bal. 'Tis my opinion, that this constable be Bal. Pray, captain, read the articles of war; I put into the captain's hands; and if his friends we'll see him listed immediately
don't bring four good men for his ransom by to Plume. [Reads.] Articles of war against mu- morrow night, captain, you shall carry him to tiny and desertion, &c.
Flanders. Syl. Hold, sir-- Once more, gentlemen, have Scale. Scrup. Agreed, agreed. a care what you do, for you shall severely smart Plume. Mr Kite, take the constable into cusfor any violence you offer to me; and you, Mr tody. Balance, I speak to you particularly, you shall | Kite. Ay, ay, sir. [To the constable. Will you heartily repent it.
please to have your office taken from you, or Plume. Look'e, young spark, say but one word will you handsomely lay down your staff, as your more, and I'll build a horse for you as high as betters have done before you?" the cieling, and make you ride the most tiresome
[Constable drops his staff. journey that ever you made in your life.
Bal. Come, gentlemen, there needs no great Syl. You have made a fine speech, good cap- ceremony in adjourning this court. Captain, you tain Huff-cap! but you had better be quiet; 'I shall dine with ine. shall find a way to cool your courage.
Kite. Come, Mr Militia Serjeant, I shall siPlume. Pray, gentlemen, don't mind him, he's lence you now, I believe, without your taking distracted.
the law of me?
[Ereunt. Syl. 'Tis false; I am descended of as good a family as any in your county; my father is as 1 SCENE V.-A room in Balance's house, good a man as any upon your bench; and I am heir to twelve hundred pounds a-year.
Enter BALANCE and Steward. Bal. He's certainly mad. Pray, captain, read Stew. We did not miss her till the evening, the articles of war.
sir; and then, searching for her in the chamber Syl. Hold, once more. Pray, Mr Balance, to chat was my young master's, we found her clothes you I speak; suppose I were your child, would there, but the suit that your son left in the press, you use me at this rate?
when he went to London, was gone. Bal. No, faith! were you mine, I would send Bal. The white, trimmed with silver? you to Bedlam first, and into the army after- Stew. The same. wards.
Bal. You han't told that circumstance to any Syl. But, consider my father, sir; he's as good, body? as generous, as brave, as just a man, as ever ser
Stew. To none but your worship. ved his country. I'm his only child; perhaps, the Bal. And be sure you don't. Go into the loss of me may break his heart.
dining-room, and tell captain Plume that I beg Bal. He's a very great fool, if it does. Cap- | to speak with him. tain, if you don't list him this minute, I'll leave Stew. I shall.
[Erit. the court.
Bal. Was ever man so imposed upon ! I had Plume. Kite, do you distribute the levy-money her promise, indeed, that she would never disto the men while I read.
pose of herself without my consent, I have conKite. Ay, sir. Silence, gentlemen.
sented with a witness! given her away as my act [PLUME reads the articles of war. | and deed-and this, I warrant, the captain thinks • Bal. Very well; now, captain, let me beg the will pass. No, I shall never pardon him the vile favour of you not to discharge this fellow upon lany, first of robbing me of my daughter, and any account whatsoever. Bring in the rest. then the mean opinion he must have of me to
Const. There are no more, an't please your think that I could be so wretchedly imposed worship.
upon : her extravagant passion might encourage her in the attempt, but the contrivance must be swearing, drunken crew; and you, Mr Justice, his. I'll know the truth presently.
might have been so civil as to have invited me
to dinner; for I have eaten with as good a man Enter Plume.
as your worship. Pray, captain, what have you done with our Plume. Sir, you must charge our want of reyoung gentleman soldier?
spect upon our ignorance of your qualityPlume. He's at my quarters, I suppose, with But now, you are at liberty- have discharged the rest of my men.
you. Bal. Does he keep company with the common Syl. Discharged me! soldiers ?
1 Bal. Yes, sir; and you must once more go Plume. No; he's generally with me.
home to your father. Bal. He lies with you, I presume.
Syl. My father! then I am discovered-Oh, Plume. No, faith! I offered him part of my sir !--[Kneeling.-1 expect no pardon. bed--but the young rogue fell in love with Rose, Bal. Pardon ! no, no, child; your crime shall and has lain with her, I think, since she came to be your punishment: here, captain, I deliver her town.
over to the conjugal power for her chastisement. Bal. So that, between you both, Rose has been Since you will be a wife, be you a husband, a finely managed
very husband—When she tells you of her love, Plume. Upon my honour, sir, she had no harm upbraid her with her folly; be modishly ungratefrom me.
fül, because she has been unfashionably kind; Bal. All's safe, I find-Now, captain, you and use her worse than you would any body must know, that the young fellow's impudence else, because you cannot use her so well as she in court was well-grounded; he said I should deserves. heartily repent his being listed, and so I do from Plume. And are you Sylvia, in good earnest ? my soul.
Syl. Earnest! I have gone too far to make it Plume. Ay! for what reason?
a jest, sir. Bal. Because he is no less than what he said "Plume. And do you give her to me in good he was; born of as good a family as any in this earnest ? county, and he is heir to twelve hundred pounds Bal. If you please to take her, sir. a-year.
Plume. Why, then, I have saved my legs and Plume. I'm very glad to hear it--for I wanted arms, and lost my liberty; secure from wounds, but a man of that quality to make my company a I am prepared for the gout: farewell subsistperfect representative of the whole commons of ence, and welcome taxes—Sir, my liberty, and England.
the hope of being a general, are much dearer to Bal. Won't you discharge him?
me than your twelve hundred pounds a-yearPlume. Not under a hundred pounds sterling. But to your love, madam, I resign my freedom,
Bal. You shall have it, for his father is my in- and to your beauty my ambition greater in timate friend.
obeying at your feet, than commanding at the Plume. Then you shall have him for nothing. head of an army. Bal. Nay, sir, you shall have your price. Plume. Not a penny, sir; I value an obliga
Enter WORTHY. tion to you much above an hundred pounds. Wor. I am sorry to hear, Mr Balance, that
Bal. Perhaps, sir, you shan't repent your ge- your daughter is lost. nerosity- Will you please to write his dis. Bal. So ain not I, sir, since an honest gentlecharge in my pocket-book ?-Gives his book.)- man has found her. In the mean time, we'll send for the gentleman. Who waits there?
Mel. Pray, Mr Balance, what's become of my Enter a Servant.
cousin Sylvia? Go to the captain's lodging, and inquire for Mr Bal. Your cousin Sylvia is talking yonder, with Wilful; tell him his captain wants him here in your cousin Plume. mediately.
Mel. And Worthy. How! Ser. Sir, the gentleman's below at the door, in- Syl. Do you think it strange, cousin, that a quiring for the captain.
woman should change? but I hope you'll excuse Plume. Bid him come up. Here's the dis- a change that has proceeded from constancy. I charge, sir.
altered my outside, because I was the saine withBal. Sir, I thank you— 'Tis plain he had no in; and only laid by the woman to make sure of hand in't.
[Aside. my man: that's my history. .
Mel. Your history is a little romantic, couEnter Sylvia.
sin; but, since success has crowned your advenSyl. I think, captain, you might have used me tures, you will have the world on your side, and better, than to leave me yonder among your I shall be willing to go with the tide, provided
you'll pardon an injury I offered you, in the let- | more, and have persuaded my sweetheart Cartter to your father.
| wheel, to go with us; but you must promise not Plume. That injury, madam, was done to me, to part with me again. and the reparation I expect, shall be made to my Syl. I find Mrs Rose has not been pleased friend: Make Mr Worthy happy, and I shall be with her bed-fellow. satisfied.
1 Rose. Bed-fellow! I don't know whether I Mel. A good example, sir, will go a great had a bed-fellow or not. way- When my cousin is pleased to surren- Syl. Don't be in a passion, child; I was as litder, 'tis probable I shan't hold out much longer. tle pleased with your company, as you could be
with mine. Enter Brazen.
Bul. Pray, sir, donna be offended at my sis Braz. Gentlemen, I am yours— Madam, Iter; she's something underbred; but, if you am not yours.
I please, I'll lie with you in her stead. Mel. I'm glad on't, sir.
Plume. I have promised, madam, to provide Braz. So am I--You have got a pretty house, for this girl: now, will you be pleased to let her here, Mr Laconic.
wait upon you, or shall I take care of her? Bal. 'Tis time to right all mistakes M y Syl. She shall be my charge, sir; you may find name, sir, is Balance.
| it business enough to take care of me. Braz. Balance ! Sir, I am your most obedient Bul. Aye, and of me, captain; for wauns! if
I know your whole generation---Had not you ever you lift your hands against me, I'U desert, an uncle that was governor of the Leeward Plume. Captain Brazen shall take care of that. Islands some years ago ?
My dear! instead of the twenty thousand pounds Bal. Did you know hiin?
you talked of, you shall have the twenty brave Braz. Intimately, sir-He played at billiards recruits that I have raised, at the rate they cost to a miracle-You had a brother, too, that was a memM y commission I lay down, to be taken captain of a fire-shippoor Dick he had the up by some braver fellow, that has more merit, most engaging way with him of making punch- and less good fortune- wbilst I endeavour, and then his cabin was so neat-but his poor boy by the example of this worthy gentleman, to Jack was the most comical bastard -Ha, ha, ha, serve my king and country at hoine. ha, ha! a pickled dog, I shall never forget him. With some regret I quit the active field,
Plume. Have you got your recruits, my dear? Where glory full reward for life does yield; Braz. Not a stick, my dear!
But the recruiting trade, with all its train Plume. Probably I shall furnish you.
Of endless plague, fatigue, and endless pain,
I gladly quit, with my fair spouse to stay, Enter Rose and BULLOCK.
And raise recruits the matrimonial way. Rose. Captain, captain, I have got loose once!