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Arch. Pshaw! Damn your raptures! I tell you / Gib. Yes, sir, in the plantations; 'twas my lot here's a pump going to be put into the vessel, to be sent into the worst service; I would have and the ship will get into harbour, my life on't. quitted it, indeed, but a man of honour, you You say there's another lady very handsome | know—Besides, 'twas for the good of my country there?
that I should be abroad- Any thing for the Aim. Yes, faith.
good of one's country-I'm a Roman for that. Arch. I'm in love with her already.
Aim. One of the first, I'll lay my life. [ Aside.] Aim. Can't you give me a bill upon Cherry in | You found the West Indies very hot, sir? the mean time?
Gib. Ay, sir, too hot for ine. Arch. No, no, friend; all her corn, wine, and Aim. Pray, sir, ha'nt I seen your face at Will's oil is ingrossed to my market. And, once more, coffee-house? I warn you, to keep your anchorage clear of mine; Gib. Yes, sir, and at White's, too. for if you fall foul of me, by this light, you shall Aim. And where's your company, now, capgo to the bottom !-What! make a prize of my tain? little frigate, while I'm upon the cruize for you? Gib, They an't come yet. You're a pretty fellow indeed! [Erit Arch. Aim. Why, d’ye expect them here?
Gib. They'll be here to-night, sir.
Aim. Which way do they march?
Gib. Across the country. The devil's in't if I Aim. Well, well, I won't.- Landlord, have han't said enough to encourage him to declareyou any tolerable company in the house? I don't but I'm afraid he's not right, I must tack about. care for dining alone.
[ Aside. Bon. Yes, sir; there's a captain below, as the Aim. Is your company to quarter at Litchsaying is, that arrived about an hour ago.
field? Aim. Gentlemen of his coat are welcome Gib. In this house, sir. every where; will you make a compliment for Aim. What, all? me, and tell him, I should be glad of his com- Gib. My company is but thin, ha, ha, hạ! we pany, that's all.
| are but three, ha, ha, ha! Bon. Who shall I tell him, sir, would
Aim, You're merry, sir? Aim. Ha! that stroke was well thrown in Gib. Ay, sir; you must excuse me. Sir, I unI'm only a traveller, like himself, and would be derstand the world, especially the art of travelglad of his company, that's all.
ling. I don't care, sir, for answering questions Bon. I obey your commands, as the saying is. directly upon the road-for I generally ride with
(Erit Bon.) a charge about me. Enter ARCHER.
| Aim. Three or four, I believe. [ Aside.
Gib. I am credibly informed, that there are Arch. 'Sdeath! I had forgot; what title will highwaymen upon this quarter; not, sir, that I you give yourself?
could suspect a gentleman of your figure- But Aim. My brother's, to be sure; he would ne- truly, sir, I have got such a way of evasion upon ver give me any thing else; so I'll make bold with the road, that I don't care for speaking truth to his honour this bout. You know the rest of your any man. cue?
Aim. Your caution may be necessary—Then, I Arch. Ay, ay.
[Erit Arcu. presume, you're no captain?
Gib. Not I, sir; captain is a good travelling Enter GIBBET.
name, and so I take it; it stops a great many
foolish inquiries that are generally made about Gib. Sir, I'm yours.
gentlemen that travel : it gives a man an air of Aim. 'Tis more than I deserve, sir, for I don't something, and makes the drawers obedient know you.
And thus far I am a captain, and no farther. Gib. I don't wonder at that, sir, for you never him. And, pray, sir, what is your true professaw me before I hope.
[Aside. sion? Aim. And pray, sir, how came I by the honour Gib. O, sir, you must excuse me-upon my of seeing you now?
word, sir, I don't think it safe to tell you. Gib. Sir, I scorn to intrude upon any gentle Aim. Ha, ha! upon my word, I commend you. man—but my landlordAim. O, sir, I ask your pardon ; you're the cap
Enter BONIFACE. tain he told me of? Gib. At your service, sir.
Well, Mr Boniface, what's the news ? Aim. What regiment, may I be so bold?
Bon. There's another gentleman below, as the Gib. A marching regiment, sir; an old corps. saying is, that, hearing you were but two, would
Aim. Very old, if your coat be regimental.- be glad to make the third man, if you'd give him [Aside. You have served abroad, sir?
leave. VOL. II.
Aim. What is he?
SCENE III.-Changes to a gallery in LADY Bon. A clergyman, as the saying is.
BOUNTIFUL's house. Aim. A clergyman! Is he really a clergyman? or is it only his travelling náme, as my friend, the
Enter ARCHER and SCRUB singing, and hugging captain, has it?
one another ; SCRUB with a tankard in his Bon. O, sir, he's a priest, and chaplain to the
hand, GIPSEY listening at a distance. French officers in town.
Scrub. Tall, all, dall!--Come, my dear boyAim. Is he à Frenchman?
let's have that song once more. Bon. Yes, sir, born at Brussels.
Arch. No, no; we shall disturb the familyGib. A Frenchman, and a priest ! I won't be but will you be sure to keep the secret ? seen in his company, sir; I have a value for my Scrub. Pho! upon my honour, as I'm a gen. reputation, sir.
tleman. Aim. Nay, but captain, since we are by our | Arch. Tis enough You must know, then, selves-Can he speak English, landlord ?
that my master is the lord viscount Aimwel); be Bon. Very well, sir; you may know him, as fought a duel t'other day in London, wounded the saying is, to be a foreigner, by his accent, bis man so dangerously, that he thinks fir to with and that's all.
draw, till he hears whether the gentleman's Aim. Then he has been in England before? wounds be mortal or not: he never was in this
Bon. Never, sir, but he's master of languages, part of England before, so he chose to retire to as the saying is; he talks Latin; it does me good this place; that's all. to bear him talk Latin.
Gib. And that's enough for me. [Erit. Aim. Then you understand Latin, Mr Boni- Scrub. And where were you when your master face?
fought? Bon. Not I, sir, as the saying is; but he talks Arch. We never know of our masters' quarit so very fast, that I'm sure it must be good. rels. Aim. Pray, desire him to walk up.
Scrub. No! if our masters in the country here Bon. Here he is, as the saying is.
receive a challenge, the first thing they do is to
tell their wives; the wife tells the servants, the Enter Fogard.
servants aların the tenants, and in half an hour
you shall have the whole country up in arms. Foig. Save you, gentlemens bote.
Arch. To hinder two men from doing what Aim. A Frenchman !-sir, your most humble they have no mind for ---But if you should servant.
chance to talk, now, of this business? Foig. Och, dear joy, I am your most faithfall. Scrub. Talk! ah, sir, had I not learned the shervant, and yours alsho.'
knack of holding my tongue, I had never lived so Gib. Doctor, you talk very good English; but long in a great family. you have a mighty twang of the foreigner. . Arch. Ay, ay, to be sure, there are secrets in
Foig. My English is very well for the vords, all families. but we foreigners, you know, cannot bring our Scrub. Secrets, O Lud !_ but I'll say no tongues about the pronunciation so soon. more--Come, sit down, we'll make an end of our
Aim. A foreigner! a downright Teague, by tankard. Here this light! [Aside.) Were you born in France, Arch. With all my heart : who knows but you doctor?
and I may come to be better acquainted, eh? Foig. I was educated in France, but I was Here's your lady's health : you have three, borned at Brussels : I am a subject of the king I think; and to be sure there must be secrets of Spain, joy.
among them, Gib. What king of Spain, sir? Speak.
Scrub. Secrets ! Ah ! friend, friend I wish Foig. Upon my shoul, joy, I cannot tell you as I had a friend.
Arch. Am I not your friend? Come, you and Aim. Nay, captain, that was too hard upon the I will be sworn brothers. doctor; he's a stranger.
1 Scrub. Shall we? Foig. O let him alone, dear joy ; l'in of a na- Arch. From this minute -Give me a kiss! tion that is not easily put out of courtevance. And now, brother Scrub
Aim. Come, gentlemen, I'll end the dispute Scrub. And, now, brother Martin, I will tell Here, landlord, is dinnér ready?
you a secret that will make your hair stand on Bon. Upon the table, as the saying is. end -You must know, that I am consuinedly Aim. Gentlemen_ pray_ that door. in love. Bon. No, no, fait, the captain must lead. Arch. That's a terrible secret, that's the truth Aim. No, doctor, the church is our guide. on't. Gib. Ay, ay, so it is.
Scrub. That jade, Gipsey, that was with us [Exit foremost, they follow. just now in the cellar, is the arrantest whore that
ever wore a petticoat, and I'm dying for love of follow the hounds; on Thursday, I dun the teher.
nants; on Friday, I go to market; on Saturday, I Arch. Ha, ha, ha! Are you in love with draw warrants; and on Sunday, I draw beer. her person, or her virtue, brother Scrub?
Arch. Ha, ha, ha! if variety be a pleasure in, Scrub. I should like virtue best, because it's life, you have enough on't, my dear brothermore durable than beauty: for virtue holds good But what ladies are those ? with some women, long and many a day after | Scrub. Ours, ours; that upon the right hand is they have lost it.
| Mrs Sullen, and the other Mrs Dorinda-Don't Arch. In the country, I grant ye, where no mind them; sit still, manwoman's virtue is lost, till a bastard be found. Scrub. Ay, could I bring her to a bastard, il
I Enter Mrs SULLEN and Dorinda. should have her all to myself; but I dare not put Mrs Sul. I have heard my brother talk of my it upon that lay, for fear of being sent for a sol-lord Aimiwell; but they say that his brother is the dier-Pray, brother, how do you gentleinen in finer gentleman. London like that same pressing act?
Dor. That's impossible, sister. Arch. Very ill, brother Scrub 'Tis the
Mrs Sul. Fle's vastly rich, and very close, they worst that ever was made for us; formerly, I re-say. member the good days when we could dun our Dor. No matter for that; if I can creep into masters for our wagcs, and if they refused to pay his heart, I'll open his breast, I warrant hiin : I us, we could have a warrant to carry them before have heard say, that people may be guessed at a justice; but now, if we talk of eating, they by the behaviour of their servants; I could wish have a warrant for us, and carry ús before three we might talk to that fellow. justices.
Mrs Sul. So do I; for I think he's a very Scrub. And to be sure we go, if we talk of pretty fellow : come this way; I'll throw out a eating; for the justices won't give their own ser- lure for him presently. vants a bad example. Now, this is my misfor. [They walk a turn to the opposite side of the tune- I dare not speak in the house, while that
stage. MRS SULLEN drops her fan; ARjade, Gipsey, dings about like a fury- Once I
CHER runs, takes it up, and gives it to had the better end of the staff.
her.] Arch. And how comes the change now?
Arch. Corn, wine, and oil, indeed! - But I think Scrub. Why, the mother of all this mischief is the wife has the greatest plenty of flesh and a priest.
| blood; she should be my choice-Ay, ay, say Arch. A priest !
you so--Madam y our ladyship's fan. Scrub. Ay, a damned son of a whore of Baby- Mrs Sul. O sir, I thank you What a handlon, that came over hither to say grace to the some bow the fellow made! French officers, and eat up our provisions Dor. Bow! Why, I have known several footThere's not a day goes over his head without a men come down from London, set up here for dinner or supper in this house.
dancing-masters, and carry off the best fortunes Arch. How came he so familiar in the fa- in the country. mily?
Arch. (Aside.] That project, for aught I know, Scrub. Because he speaks English, as if he had had been better than ours--Brother Scrub, why lived here all his life, and tells lies, as if he had don't you introduce me? been a traveller from his cradle.
Scrub. Ladies, this is the strange gentleman's Arch. And this priest, I'm afraid, has convert- servant that you saw at church to-day; I undered the affections of your Gipsey.
stood he came from London; and so I invited him Scrub. Converted! ay, and perverted, my dear to the cellar, that he might shew me the newest friend - for I'm afraid he has made her a whore flourish ip whetting my knives. and a papist-But this is not all; there's the Dor. And I hope you have made much of French count and Mrs Sullen; they're in confe- him? deracy, and for some private end of their own, Arch. O yes, madam; but the strength of your too, to be sure.
ladyship's liquor is a little too potent for the conArch. A very hopeful family, yours, brother stitution of your humble servant. Scrub! I suppose the maiden lady has her lover, Mrs Sul. What, then, you don't usually drink too?
ale ? Serub. Not that I know---She's the best of Arch. No, madam; my constant drink is tea, them, that's the truth on't : but they take care to or a little wine and water; 'tis prescribed me by prevent my curiosity, by giving me so much bu- the physician, for a remedy against the spleen. siness, that I am a perfect slave :- What d’ye Scrub. O la! O la !-a footman have the think is my place in this family?
spleenArch. Butler, I suppose.
Mrs Sul. I thought that distemper had beca Scrub. Ah, Lord help your silly head L-I'll only proper to people of quality. tell you-Of a Monday, I drive the coach ; of a Arch. Madam, like all other fashions, it wears Tuesday, I drive the plough; on Wednesday, I lout, and so descends to their servants; though,
in a great many of us, I believe it proceeds from Mrs Sul. Something for a pair of gloves. some melancholy particles in the blood, occasion
[Offering him money. ed by the stagnation of wages.
Arch. I humbly beg leave to be excused. My Dor. How affectedly the fellow talks !-How master, madamn, pays me; nor dare I take molong, pray, have you served your present mas-ney from any other hand, without injuring his ter?
honour, and disobeying his commands. Arch. Not long : my life has been mostly spent Scrub. Brother Martin, brother Martin ! in the service of the ladies.
Arch. What do you say, brother Scrub? Mrs Sul. And, pray, which service do you like Scrub. Take the money, and give it to me. best?
[Ereunt ARCHER and SCRUB. Arch. Madam, the ladies pay best; the ho-| Dor. This is surprising ! Did you ever see so nour of serving them is sufficient wages; there is pretty a well-bred fellow! a charm in their looks, that delivers a pleasure | Mrs Sul. The devil take him for wearing the with their commands, and gives our duty the livery! wings of inclination.
| Dor. I fancy, sister, he may be some gentleMrs Sul. That flight was above the pitch of a man, a friend of my lord's, that his lordship has livery: and, sir, would not you be satisfied to pitched upon for his courage, fidelity, and disserve a lady again?
cretion, to bear bini company in this dress, and Arch. As groom of the chambers, madam; but who, ten to one, was his second. not as a footman.
Mrs Sul. It is so, it must be so, and it shall Mrs Sul. I suppose you served as footman be- be so !-For I like hiin. fore?
1 Dor. What! better than the count? Arch. For that reason, I would not serve in Mrs Sul. The count happened to be the most that post again; for my memory is too weak for agreeable nian upon the place; and so I chose the load of messages that the ladies lay upon their him to serve me in my design upon my husband servants in London: my lady Howd'ye, the last - But I should like this fellow better in a demistress I served, called me up one morning, and sign upon myself. told me, Martin, go to my lady Allnight with my Dor. But now, sister, for an interview with humble service; tell her I was to wait on her la- this lord, and this gentleman; how shall we bring dyship yesterday, and left word with Mrs Re- that about? becca, that the preliminaries of the affair she Mrs Sul. Patience! you country ladies give knows of are stopt till we know the concurrence no quarter, if once you be entered. Would you of the person that I know of, for which there are prevent their desires, and give the fellows no circumstances wanting which we shall accommo- wishing time ?- Look'e, Dorinda, if my lord Aimdate at the old place; but that, in the mean time, well loves you, or deseryes you, he'll find a way there is a person about her ladyship, that from to see you; and there we must leave it - My several hints and surmises, was accessary at a cer- business comes now upon the tapis- Have tain time to the disappointments that naturally prepared your brother? attend things, that to her knowledge are of more Dor. Yes, yes. importance
Mrs Sul. And how did he relish it? Mrs Sul. 1. Ha, ha! where are you going, Dor. He said little, mumbled something to Dor. sir?
himself, and promised to be guided by me but Arch. Why, I han't half done.
here he comes Scrub. I should not remember a quarter of it. Arch. The whole how d’ye was about half
Enter SULLEN. an hour long; so, happened to misplace two syllables, and was turned off, and rendered incapa Sul. What singing was that I heard just now? ble
Mrs Sul. The singing in your head, my dear; Dor. The pleasantest fellow, sister, I ever you complained of it all day. saw. But, friend, if your master be inarried- Sul. You're impertinent. I presume you still serve a lady?
Mrs Sul. I was ever so, since I became one Arch. No, madam; I take care never to come flesh with you. into a married family; the commands of the mas- | Sul. One flesh! rather two carcases joined unter and mistress are always so contrary, that 'tis naturally together. impossible to please both.
Mrs Sul. Or rather, a living soul coupled to a Dor. There's a main point gained.-My lord dead body. is not married, I find.
[Aside. Dor. So, this is fine encouragement for me! Mrs Sul. But, I wonder, friend, that in so! Sul. Yes, my wife shews what you must do. inany good services, you had not a better provi- Mrs Sul. And my husband shews you what ision made for you?
you must suffer. Arch. I don't know how, madam-I am very Sul. 'Sdeath! why can't you be silent? well as I am.
Mrs Sul. 'Sdeath! why can't you talk?
Sul. Do you talk to any purpose ?
1-But let me beg you once more, dear sister, to Mrs Sul. Do you think to any purpose ? drop this project : for, as I told you before, in
Sul. Sister, heark'em Whispers.--I shan't be stead of awaking him to kindness, you may prohome till it be late.
[Exit Sul. voke himn to rage; and, then, who knows how far Mrs Sul. What did he whisper to ye ? his brutality may carry him?
Dor. That he would go round the back way, Mrs Sul. I'm provided to receive him, I warcome into the closet, and listen as I directed him. rant you. Away!
Dor. No, no, dear sister, you have missed your
mark so unfortunately, that I shan't care for beEnter DORINDA, meeting MRS SULLEN and ing instructed by you. LADY BOUNTIFUL.
Enter Aimwell in a chair, carried by ARCHER Dor. News, dear sister; news, news !
and SCRUB, LADY BOUNTIFUL, GIPSEY; Arn
WELL counterfeiting a swoon.
Lady Boun. Here, here, let's see the hartshorn Arch. Where, where is my lady Bountiful ?- drops Gipsey, a glass of fair water, his fit's Pray, which is the old lady of you three ! very strong- Bless me, how his hands are Lady Boun. I am.
clenched ! Arch. 0, madam ! the fame of your ladyship's Arch. For shame, ladies, what d'ye do! Why charity, goodness, benevolence, skill, and ability, don't you help us ? Pray, madam, [To Dohave drawn me hither to implore your ladyship's RINDA.] take his hand, and open it, if you can, help in behalf of my unfortunate master, who is whilst í hold his head. this moment breathing his last.
DORINDA tekes his hand. Lady Boun. Your master! Where is he?
Dor. Poor gentleman !-Oh- he has got my Arch. At your gate, madam : drawn by the hand within his, and squeezes it unmercifullyappearance of your handsome house to view it Lady Boun. 'Tis the violence of his convulsion, nearer, and walking up the avenue, he was taken child. ill of a sudden, with a sort of I know not what : Arch. O, madam! he's perfectly possessed in but down he fell, and there he lies.
these cases.--He'll bite you, if you don't have Lady Boun. Here, Scrub, Gipsey ! all run; get care. my easy-chair down stairs, put the gentleman in Dor. Oh, my hand! my hand ! it, and bring him in quickly, quickly.
Lady Boun. What's the matter with the foolArch. Heaven will reward your ladyship for ish giri? I have got this hand open, you see, with this charitable act.
a great deal of ease. Lady Boun. Is your master used to these fits? Arch. Aye, büt, madain, your daughter's hand
Arch. ( yes, madam, frequently.-- I have is somewhat warmer than your ladyship's, and known him have five or six of a night.
| the heat of it draws the force of the spirits that Lady Boun. What's his name?
way. Arch. Lord, madam, he's a dying! a mi- Mrs Sul. I find, friend, you're very learned in nute's care or neglect may save or destroy his life. these sort of fits.
Lady Boun. Ah, poor gentleman ! Come, Arch. 'Tis no wonder, madam; for I am offriend, shew me the way, I'll see him brought in ten troubled with them myself; I find myself myself.
[Erit with ARCHER. extremely ill at this minute. Dor. O, sister! my heart flutters about strange
[Looking hard at Mrs SULLEN. ly; I can hardly forbear from running to his as Mrs Sul. (Aside.] I fancy I could find a way sistance.
to cure you. Mrs Sul. And I'll lay my life he deserves your | Lady Boun. His fit holds him very long. assistance more than he wants it. Did not I | Arch. Longer than usual, madam. tell you, that my lord would find a way to come Lady Boun. Where did his illness take him at you ? Love's his distemper, and you must first, pray? be the physician; put on all your charms, sum Arch. To-day at church, madam. mon all your fire into your eyes, plant the whole L Lady Boun. In what manner was he taken? artillery of your looks against his breast, and Arch. Very strangely, my lady. He was of a down with him.
sudden touched with something in his eyes, which, Dor. O, sister, I'm but a young gunner! I shall at the first, he only felt, but could not tell whebe afraid to shoot, for fear the piece should re-ther 'twas pain or pleasure. coil, and hurt myself.
Lady Boun. Wind, nothing but wind. Your Mrs Sul. Never fcar! you shall see me shoot master should never go without a bottle to smell before you, if you will.
to- Oh! he recovers—the lavender water