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Step. Cousin, it is well; I am melancholy E. Kno. Why, sayest thou? Why, dost thou enough? think that any reasonable creature, especially in E. Kno. O, ay, excellent! the morning, the sober time of the day too, could Well. Captain Bobadil, why muse you so ? have mistaken my father for me?
E. Kno. Ile is melancholy too. Well. 'Slid, you jest, I hope.
Bob. Faith, sir, I was thinking of a most hoE. Kno. Indeed, the best use we can turn it nourable piece of service was performed, to-morto, is to make a jest on't now; but I'll assure you, row, being St Mark's day, shall be some ten years niy father had the full view of your flourishing now. style, before I saw it.
E. Kno. In what place, captain? Well. What a dull slave was this! But, sir- Bob. Why, at the beleaguering of Strigonium, rah, what said he to it, i'faith?
where, in less than two hours, seven hundred reE. Kno. Nay, I know not what he said: but I solute gentlemen, as any were in Europe, lost have a shrewd guess what he thought.
their lives upon the breach. I'll tell you, gentleW'ell. What, what?
men; it was the first, hut the best leagure, that E. Kno. Marry, that thou art some strange, ever I beheld with these eyes, except the taking dissolute young fellow, and I not a grain or two of what do you call it, last year, by the Gebetter, for keeping thee company.
noese ; but that (of all others) was the most fatal Well. Tut! that thought is like the moon in her and dangerous exploit that ever I was ranged in, last quarter, 'twill change shortly. But, sirrah, I since I first bore arms before the face of the enepray thee be acquainted with my two hang-bys my, as I am a gentleman and a soldier. here ; thou wilt take exceeding pleasure in them, Step. 'So, I had as lief as an angel, I could if thou hearest them once go: my wind-instru- swear as well as that gentleman ! ments. I'll wind them up-But what strange E. Kno. Then you were a servitor at both, it piece of silence is this? The sign of the dumb seems; at Strigonium, and what do you call it? man?
Bob. Oh, lord, sir! by St George, I was the E. Kno. Oh, sir, a kinsman of mine, one that first man that entered the breach; and had I not may make your music the fuller, an' he please; effected it with resolution, I had been slain, if I he has his humour, sir.
had had a million of lives. Well. Oh, what is't, what is't?
E. Kno. It was a pity you had not ten; a cat's, E. Kno. Nay, I'll neither do your judgment, and your own, i'faith. But was it possible? nór his folly, that wrong, as to prepare your ap- Nat. Pray you, mark this discourse, sir. prehension. I'll leave him to the mercy of your
Step. So I do. search, if you can take him so.
Bob. I assure you, upon my reputation, it is Well. Well. Captain Bobadil, Master Matthew, true, and yourself shall confess. I pray you know this gentleman here; he is a friend E. Kno. You must bring me to the rack first. of mine, and one, that will deserve your affec- Bob. Observe me judicially, sweet sir: they tion. I know not your name, sir, but shall be had planted me three demi-culverins, just in the glad of any occasion to render me more familiar mouth of the breach: now, sir, as we were to
give on, their master-gunner (a man of no mcan Step. My name is Master Stephen, sir; I am this skill and mark, you must think) confronts me with gentleman's own cousin, sir: his father is mine his linstock, ready to give fire: 1, spying his inuncle, sir; I am somewhat melancholy, but you tendment, discharged my petrionel in his bosom, shall command me, sir, in whatsocver is incident and with these single arins, my poor rapier, ran to a gentleman,
violently upon the Moors that guarded the ordBob. Sir, I must tell you this, I am no general nance, and put them all, pell-mell, to the sword. man; but for Mr Well-bred's sake (you may em- Well. To the sword ! to the rapier, captain ! brace it at what height of favour you please) I do E. Kno. Oh, it was a good figure observed, communicate with you; and conceive you to be sir! but did you all this, captain, without hurta gentleman of some parts. I love few words, ing your blade?
E. Kno. And I fewer, sir. I have scarce enow Bob. Without any impeach o' the earth: you to thank you.
shall perceive, sir. It is the most fortunate weadlat. But are you indeed, sir, so given to it? pon that ever rid on poor gentleman's thigh.
[To Master STEPHEN. Shall I tell you, sir? You talk of Morglay, ExStep. Ay, truly, sir, I am mightily given to me- calibar, Durindana, or so? Tut, I lend no credit lancholy.
to what is fabled of them; I know the virtue of Mat. On, it is your only fine humour, sir; mine own, and therefore I dare the bolder mainyour true melancholy breeds your perfect fine wit, tain it. sir: I am melancholy myself, divers times, sir; Slep. I marvel whether it be a Toledo, or no. and then do I no more but take a pen and paper Bob. A most perfect Toledo, I assure you, sir. presently, and overflow you half a score or a do- Step. I have a countryman of his here. zen ot sonnets at a sitting.
Alat. Pray you, let's sce, sir, Yes, faith, it is!
hilts for anger.
Bob. This a Toledo ! pish.
Brain. You are conceited, sir; your name is Step. Why do you pish, captain?
Mr_Kno'well, as I take it? Bob. A Fleming, by Heaven! I'll buy them for E. Kno. You are in the right. You mean not a guilder a piece, an’ I would have a thousand of to proceed in the catechism, do you? them.
Brain. No, sir, I am none of that coat.
E. Kno. Of as bare coat, though! Well say, much.
sir ? Well. Where bought you it, Master Stephen? Brain. Faith, sir, I am but a servant to the
Step. Of a scurvy rogue soldier (a hundred of drum extraordinary, and indeed, this smoky varlice with him); he swore it was à Toledo. nish being washed off, and three or four patches
Bob. A poor provant rapier, no better. removed, I appear your worship’s in reversion,
Mat. Mass, I think it be, indeed! now I look after the decease of your good father- Brainon't better.
worm. E. Kno. Nay, the longer you look on't the E. Kno. Brain-worm ! 'Slight, what breath worse. Put it up, put it up!
of a conjurer hath blown thee hither in this Step. Well, I will put
(I have shape ? forgot the captain's oath, I thought to have sworn Brain. The breath o'your letter, sir, this by it) an' e'er I meet him
morning : the saine, that blew you to the windWell
. O, 'tis past help, now, sir; you must have mill, and your father after you. patience.
E. Kno. My father! Step. Whoreson rascal! I could eat the very Brain. Nay, never start ; 'tis true; he has
followed you over the fields by the foot, as you E. Kno. A sign of good digestion; you have would do a hare i' the snow. an ostrich stomach, cousin.
E. Kno. Sirrah, Well-bred, what shall we do, Step. A stomach! I would I had him here! sirrah? My father is come over after me. you should see an' I had a stomach.
Well. Thy father! Where is he? Well. It is better as it is. Come, gentlemen, Bruin. At justice Clement's house, here, in shall we go?
Coleman-street, where he but stays my return;
and thenEnter BRAIN-WORM.
Well. Who's this? Brain-worm? E. Kno. A miracle, cousin ! look here! look Brain. The same, sir. here!
Well. Why, how, i' the name of wit, comest Step. O, god’slid, by your leave, do you know thou transmuted thus ? me, sir?
Brain. Faith, a device! a devire! Nay, for Brain. Ay, sir, I know you by sight.
the love of reason, gentlemen, and avoiding the Step. You sold me a rapier, did
danger, stand not here; withdraw, and I'll tell Brain. Yes, marry, did I, sir. Step. You said it was a Toledo, ha?
E. Kno. Come, cousin.
[Ereunt Brain. True, I did so. Step. But it is none !
SCENE II.-The Warehouse. Brain. No, sir, I confess it is none.
Enter KITELY and Cash, Step. Do you confess it? Gentlemen, bear witness, he has confessed it. By God's will, an' you Kite. What says he, Thomas? Did you speak had not confessed it
with him ? E. Kno. Oh, cousin, forbear, forbear.
Cash. He will expect you, sir, within this half Step. Nay, I have done, cousin.
hour. Well. Why, you have done like a gentleman; Keit. Has he the money ready? Can you tell ? he has confessed it, what would you more? Cash. Yes, sir, the money was brought in last
Step. Yet, by his leave, he is a rascal, under night. his favour, do you see.
Kite. O, that's well: fetch me my cloak, my E. Kno. Ay, by his leave, he is, and under fa
cloak. vour. Pretty piece of civility! Sirrah, how dost Stay, let me see; an hour to go and come; like him?
Ay, that will be the least; and then 'twill be Well
. Oh, it's a most precious fool, make much an hour before I can dispatch him, of him. I can compare him to nothing more Or very near: well, I will say two hours. happily, than a drum; for every one may play Two hours ! ha! things, never dreamt of yet,
May be contrived, ay, and effected too, E. Kno. No, no, a child's whistle were far the In two hours absence. Well, I will not go. fitter.
Two hours ! No, fleering opportunity! Brain. Sir, shall I entreat a word with you? I will not give your subtlety that scope.
E. Kno. With me, sir! You have not another Who will not judge hiin worthy to be robbeda Toledo to sell, have you?
That sets his doors wide open to a thief,
And shews the felon where his treasure lies ? When once you have it, I must seal your lips up.
Cash. Sir, for that-
you, Thomas, No, beauty, no; you are too, too precious When I will let you in thus to my private. To be left so, without a guard, or open! It is a thing sits nearer to my crest, You must be then kept up close, and well watch- Than thou art aware of, Thomas. If thou ed!
'Twere a great weakness. Çarry in my cloak again. Yet, stay. Yet do, Cash. A great treachery.
Give it no other name. I will defer going on all occasions.
Kite. Thou wilt not do it, then ? Cash. Sir, Snare, your scrivener, will be there Cash. Sir, if I do, mankind disclaim me ever! with the bonds.
Kite. He will not swear; he has some reserKite. That's true! fool on me! I had clean vation, forgot it! I must go. What's o'clock?
Some concealed purpose, and close meaning, Cash. Exchange time, sir.
sure, Kite. 'Heart! than will Well-bred presently be Else, being urged so much, how should he choose
But lend an oath to all this protestation? With one or other of his loose consorts.
He's no fanatic, I have heard him swear. I am a knave, if I know what to say,
What should I think of it? Urge him again, What course to take, or which way to resolve. And by some other way? I will do so. My brain, methinks, is like an hour-glass, Well, Thomas, thou hast not sworn to disclose; Wherein my imagination runs, like sands, Yes, you did swear? Filling up time; but then are turned and turn- Cash. Not yet, sir, but I will,
ed; So that I know not what to stay upon,
Kite. No, Thomas, I dare take thy word; And less to put in act. It shall be so.
But if thou wilt swear, do—as thou think'st good; Nay, I dare build upon his secrecy;
I am resolved without it: at thy pleasure. He knows not to deceive me. Thomas !
Cash. By my soul's safety then, sir, I protest Cash. Sir.
My tongue shall ne'er take knowledge of a word, Kite. Yet now, I have bethought too, I will Delivered me in nature of your trust. not
Kite. It is too much, these ceremonies need not; Thomas, is Cob within?
I know thy faith to be as firm as rock. Cash. I think he be, sir.
Thomas, come hither, near; we cannot be Kite. But he'll prate too-there's no speech of Too private in this business. So it is,him.
(Now he has sworn, I dare the safelier venture) No, there were no man o' the earth to Thomas, I have of late, by divers observationsIf I durst trust him; there is all the doubt. But whether his oath can bind him, there it is! But should he have a chink in him, I were gone, I will bethink me ere I do proceed. Lost in my fame for ever: talk for the Exchange. Thomas, it will be now too long to stay; The manner he hath stood with, 'till this pre- I'll spy some fitter time soon, or to-morrow. sent,
Cash. Sir, at your pleasure. Doth promise no such change; what should I Kite. I will think. Give me my cloak. And, fear then?
Thomas, Well, come what will, I'll tempt my fortune once. I pray you search the books, 'gainst my return, Thomas—you may deceive me, but I hope For the receipts 'twixt me and Traps. Your love to me is more
Cash. I will, sir. Cash. Sir, if a servant's
Kite. And, hear you, if your mistress's brother, Duty, with faith, may be called love, you are
Well-bred, More than in hope, you are possessed of it.
Chance to bring hither any gentlemen,
Cash. Very well, sir.
Or here in Coleman-Street, to Justice Clement's A secret to impart to you—but
Forget it not, nor be out of the way.,
Cash. I will not, sir.
Well. How now, Thomas, is my brother Kite. I pray you have a care on't.
Kitely within ? Or whether he come or no, if any other
Cash. No, sir; my master went forth e'en Stranger, or else, fail not to send me word. now; but master Downright is within. Cob! Cash. I shall not, sir.
what, Cob! Is he gone
too? Kite. Be it your special business
Well. Whither went your master, Thomas, Now to remember it.
can'st thou tell? Cash. Sir, I warrant you.
Cash. I know not; to Justice Clement's, I Kite. But, Thomas, this is not the secret, think, sir. Cob!
[Erit Cash. Thomas,
E. Kno. Justice Clement! What's he?
Well. Why, dost thou not know him? He is a Cash. No, sir, I do suppose it.
city magistrate, a justice here; an excellent good Kite. Believe me, it is not.
lawyer, and a great scholar; but the only mad Cask. Sir, I do believe you.
and merry old fellow in Europe ! I shewed you Kite. By Heaven! it is not, that's enough. him the other day. But, Thomas,
E. Know. Oh, is that he? I remember him I would not you should utter it, do you see,
now. Good faith! and he has a very strange To any creature living; yet I care not.
presence, methinks; it shews as if he stood out Well, I must hence. Thomas, conceive thus of the rank from other men. I have heard many much;
of his jests in the university. They say, he will It was a trial of you, when I meant
commit a man for taking the wall of his horse. So deep a secret to you: I mean not this,
Well. Ay, or wearing his cloak on one shoulBut that I have to tell you. This is nothing, this. der, or serving of God. Any thing, indeed, if But, Thomas, keep this from my wife, I charge you. it coine in the way of his humour. Locked up in silence, midnight, buried here No greater hell than to be slave to fear. [Exit.
Enter Casu. Cash. Locked up in silence, midnight, buried Cash. Gasper, Martin, Cob! 'Heart! where here!
should they be, trow? Whence should this food of passion, trow, take Bob. Master Kitely's man, prithee vouchsafe head? ha !
us the lighting of this inatch. Best dream no longer of this running humour, Cash. Fire on your match, no time but now to For fear I sink! the violence of the stream vouchsafe! [Aside.] Francis! Cob! Already hath transported me so far,
Bob, Body of me! Here's the remainder of That I can feel no ground at all! But soft, seven pound since yesterday was seven-night. Here is company: now must l
(Erit. It is your right Trinidado ! Did you never take
any, Master Stephen? Enter WELL-BRED, Edw. Kno'well, Brain
Step. No, truly, sir! but I'll learn to take ic WORM, BOBADIL, STEPHEN.
now, since you commend it so. Well. Beshrew me, but it was an absolute Bob. Sir, believe me, upon my relation; for good jest, and exceedingly well carried. what I tell you, the world shall not reprove. I
E. Kno. Ay, and our ignorance maintained it have been in the Indies, where this herb grows, as well, did it not?
where neither myself, nor a dozen gentlemen Well. Yes, faith! but was it possible thou more, of my knowledge, have received the taste should'st not know him? I forgive Master Stephen, of any other nutriment in the world, for the for he is stupidity itself.
space of one and twenty weeks, but the fume of E. Kno. 'Fore Heaven, not I. He had so this simple only. Therefore, it cannot be, but · written himself into the habit of one of your poor | 'tis most divine, especially your Trinidado. Your infantry, your decayed, ruinous, worm-eaten gen- Nicotian is good too. I do hold it, and will aftlemen of the round.
firm it before any prince in Europe, to be the W'ell
. Why, Brain-worm, who would have most sovereign and precious weed, that ever the thought thou had'st been such an artificer? earth tendered to the use of man.
E. Kno. An artificer! an architect! Except a E. Know. This speech would have done deman had studied begging all his life-time, and cently in a tobacco-trader's mouth. been a weaver of language from his infancy, for the clothing of it-I never saw his rival.
Enter Cash and COB. Well. Where got'st thou this coat, I marvel! Cash. At Justice Clement's he is, in the mid
Brain. Of a Houndsditch man, sir, one of the dle of Coleman-Street. devil's near kinsmen, a broker.
Cob. O, ho!
Bob. Where's the match I gave thee, Master Enter Cash.
Kitely's man? Cash. Francis! Martin ! ne'er a one to be Cush. Here it is, sir. found now? What a spite's this?
Cob. By God's me! I marvel what pleasure
or felicity they have in taking this roguish tobac- Kite. A swarm, a swarm !
[Bobadil beats him with a cudgel, Mat- Cob,
How long bast thou been coming bither, Cob? All. Oh, good captain! hold! hold !
Cob. A little while, sir. Bob. You base scullion, you.
Kite. Didst thou come running ? Cush. Come, thou must need be talking too; Cob. No, sir. thou'rt well enough served.
Kite. Nay, then I am familiar with thy haste ! Cob. Well, it shall be a dear beating ; an' I Bane to my fortunes ! What meant I to marry? live, I will have justice for this.
I, that before was ranked in such content, Bob. Do you prate? Do you murmur? My mind at rest too in so soft a peace, (Bobadil beats him off
: Being free master of my own free thoughts, E. Kno. Nay, good captain, will you regard And now become a slave? What, never sigh! the humour of a fool?
Be of good cheer, man, for thou art a cuckold. Bob. A whoreson filthy slave, a dung-worm, 'Tis done, 'tis done! Nay, when such flowing an excrement! Body o' Cæsar, but that I scorn
store, to let forth so mean a spirit, I'd have stabbed Plenty, itself, falls into my wife's lap, him to the earth.
The cornucopia will be mine, I know. But, Well. Marry, the law forbid, sir.
[Erit. My sister and my wife would bid them welcome! Step. Oh, he swears admirably! By Pharaoh's Ha ! foot, body of Cæsar! I shall never do it, sure; Cob. Like enough, sir; yet I heard not a word upon mine honour, and by St George! no, I have of it. not the right grace.
Kite. No; their lips were sealed with kisses Well. But soft, where is Mr Matthew ? gone! and the voice, Brain. No, sir; they went in here.
Drowned in a flood of joy at their arrival, Well. O, let us follow them : Master Matthew Had lost her motion, state, and faculty. is gone to salute his mistress in verse. We shall Cob, which of them was't that first kissed my have the happiness to hear some of his poetry wife? now. He never comes unfurnished. Brain-worm! My sister, I should say, my wife, alas!
Step. Brain-worm? Where is this Brainworm? I fear not her. Ha! Who was it, say'st thou?
E. Kno. Ay, cousin, no words of it, upon your Cob. By my troth, sir, will you have the truth gentility:
of it? Step. Not I, body of me! by this air, St George, Kite. Ay, good Cob, I pray thee heartily. and the foot of Pharaoh !
Cob. Then I am a vagabond, and fitter for Well. Rare! your cousin's discourse is simply Bridewell than your worship's company, if I saw drawn out with oaths.
any body to be kissed, unless they would have E. Kno. Tis larded with them. A kind of kissed the post in the middle of the warehouse; French dressing, if you love it. Come, let us in. for there I left them all, at their tobacco, with a Come, cousin.
Kite. How! were they not gone in then, ere SCENE III.-A hall in Justice CLEMENT'S thou cam'st? house,
Cob. 0, no, sir!
Kite. Spite of the devil! What do I stay here Entor KITELY and CoB. then? Cob, follow me.
Erit. Kite. Ha! How many are there, say'st thou? Cob. Nay, soft and fair, I have eggs on the
Cob. Marry, sir, your brother, Master Well- spit. Now am I, for some five and fitty reasons, bred
hammering, hammering revenge! Nay, an' he Kite. Tut, beside him : what strangers are had not lain in my house, 'twould never have there, man?
grieved me; but, being my guest, one that, I'll Cob. Strangers ! let me see ; one, two-mass, be sworn, I loved and trusted; and he, to turn I know not well, there are so many.
monster of ingratitude, and strike his lawful Kite. How, so many!
host! Well, I hope to raise up an host of fury Cob. Ay, there is some five or six of them, at for it. I'll to justice Clement for a warrant, the most.
Strike his lawful host !