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cing to me, which create your satisfaction or disa
quiet. Enter Lord Touchwood, and Lady Touch
Lady Touch. But those which cause my dis
quiet I am willing to have remote from your hear Lady Touch. My lord, can you blame
my bro ing.
lord, don't press me. ther Plyant, if he refuse his daughter upon this
Lord Touch. Don't oblige me to press you. provocation? The contract is void, by this un Lady Touch. Whatever it was, it is past; and heard of impiety.
that is better to be unknown which cannot be Lord Touch. I don't believe it true; he has bet- prevented; therefore, let me beg of you to rest ter principles, Pho, 'tis nonsense. Come, come, satisfiedI know my lady Plyant has a large eye, and would Lord Touch. When you have told me, I will centre every thing in her own circle; 'tis not the Lady Touch. You won't. first time she has mistaken respect for love, and Lord Touch. By my life, my dear, I will. made sir Paul jealous of the civility of an unde Lady Touch. What if you cannot? signing person, the better to bespeak his security Lord Touch. How? Then, I must know; nay, in her unfeigncd pleasures.
I will. No more trifling-I charge you tell me Lady Touch. You censure hardly, my lord; my By all our mutual peace to come ; upon your dusister's honour is very well known.
ty Lord Touch. Yes, I believe I know some that Lady Touch. Nay, my lord, you need say no have been familiarly acquainted with it. This is more to make me lay my heart before you; but a little trick, wrought by some pitiful contriver, don't be thus transported; compose yourself; it envious of my nephew's merit.
is not of concern to make you lose one minute's Lady Touch. Nay, my lord, it may be so, and temper; it is not, indeed, my dear. Nay, by this I hope it will be found so: but that will require kiss you shall not be angry. O Lord! I wish I had some time; for, in such a case as this, demon- not told you any thing. Indeed, my lord, you stration is necessary,
have frighted me. Nay, look pleased, I will tell Lord Touch. There should have been demon- you. stration of the contrary, too, before it had been Lord Touch. Well, well. believed
Lady Touch. Nay, but will you be calm ? Lady Touch. So, I suppose, there was. Indeed, it is nothing butLord Touch. How? Where? When?
Lord Touch. But what? Lady Touch. That I cannot tell; nay, I don't Lady Touch. But will you promise me not to say there was- I am willing to believe as favour- be angry?-Nay, you must not to be angry with ably of my nephew as I can.
Mellefont-I dare swear he is sorry; and, were Lord Touch. I don't know that. [Half aside. it to do again, would not
Lady Touch. How? Don't you believe that, Lord Touch. Sorry, for what? say you, my lord ?
rack me with delay. Lord Touch. No, I don't say so–I confess I Lady Touch. Nay, no great matter, onlyam troubled to find you so cold in his defence. Well, I have your proinise-Pho, why, nothing;
Lady Touch. His defence! Bless me, would only your nephew had a mind to amuse himself you have me defend an ill thing?
sometimes with a little gallantry towards me. Lord Touch. You believe it, then ?
Nay, I cannot think he meant any thing seriousLady Touch. I don't know; I am very unwill-ly, but methought it looked oddly. ing to speak my thoughts in any thing that may Lord Touch. Confusion and hell, what do I be to my cousin's disadvantage. Besides, I find, hear! my lord, you are prepared to receive an ill im Lady Touch. Or, may be, he thought he was pression from any opinion of mine which is not not enough akin to me upon your account, and consenting with your own : but, since I am like had a mind to create a nearer relation on his own; to be suspected in the end, and 'tis a pain any a lover, you know, my lord- ha, ha, ha! Well, longer to dissemble, I own it to you : In short, Í but that's all. Now you have it; well, rememdo believe it, nay, and can believe any thing ber your promise, my lord, and don't take any no worse, if it were laid to his charge-Don't ask tice of it to him. me my reasons, my lord, for they are not fit to Lord Touch. No, no, no-Damnation !
Lady Touch. Nay, I swear you must not-A Lord Touch. I am amazed ! Here must be little harmless mirth-only misplaced, that's all. something more than ordinary in this. [Aside.] But if it were more, it is over now, and all is well. Not fit to be told me, madarn? You have no in- For my part, I have forgot it; and so has he, I terest wherein I am not concerned; and, conse- hope; for I have not heard any thing from him quently, the same reasons ought to be convin- these two days. Vol. II.
be told you.
Lord Touch. These two days! Is it so fresh? | Mellefont's design upon you ; but still using my Unnatural villain! 'Death, I will have him strip- utmost endeavours to dissuade him : though my ped, and turned naked out of my doors this mo- friendship and love to him has made me conceal ment, and let him rot and perish, in estuous it, yet you may say, I threatened, the next tiine brute !
he attempted any thing of that kind, to discover Lady Touch. Oh, for Heaven's sake, my lord, it to my lord. you will ruin me, if you take such public notice Lady Touch. To what end is this? of it; it will be a town-talk : consider your own,
Mask. It will confirm my lord's opinion of my and my honour-Nay, I told you, you would not honour and honesty, and create in him a new conbe satisfied when you knew it.
fidence in me, which (should this design miscarry) Lord Touch. Before I have done, I will be sa- will be necessary to the forming another plot that tisfied. Ungrateful monster! How long? I have in my head—to cheat you as well as the Lady Touch. Lord! I don't knowI wish rest.
[Aside. my lips had grown together when I told you Lady Touch. I'll do it. Almost a twelvenonth-Nay, I won't tell you any Musk. Excellent! You had best go to my lord, more till you are yourself. Pray, suy lord, don't keep him as long as you can in his closet, and I let the company see you in this disorder-Yet, I doubt not but you will mould him to what you confess, I cannot blame you; for I think I was please; your guests are so engaged in their own never so surprised in my life. Who would have follies and intrigues, they'll miss neither of you. thought my nephew could have so misconstrued When shall we meet ? my kindness—But will you go into your closet, Lady Touch. At eight this evening, in my and recover your temper. I will make an excuse chamber; there, rejoice at our success, and toy of sudden business to the company, and come to away an hour in mirth.
Erit. you. Pray, good dear my lord, let me beg you Mask. I will not fail. I know what she means do now: I will come immediately, and tell you by toying away an hour well enough. Pox, I all-Will you, my lord ?
have lost all my appetite to her; yet she's a fine Lord Touch. I will-I am mute with wonder. woman, and I loved her once. Should she smoke
Lady Touch. Well, but go now; here is some my design upon Cynthia, I were in a fine pickle. body coming.
She has a damned penetrating head, and knows Lord Touch. Well, I go—You won't stay, for how to interpret a coldness the right way; thereI would hear more of this.
(Erit. fore, I must dissemble ardour and ecstacy, that's Lady Touch. I follow instantly—So. resolved : Ha! yonder comes Mellefont thought
ful. Let me think: meet her at eight-humEnter MASKWELL.
ha! by leaven I have it—if I can speak to my Mask. This was a master-piece, and did not lord before-I will deceive them all, and yet seneed my help—though I stood ready for a cue to cure myself; 'twas a lucky thought! Well
, this come in and confirm all, had there been occasion. double-dealing is a jewel. Here he comes! now
Lady Touch. Have you seen Mellefont?
Mask. I have; and am to meet him here about [Maskwell, pretending not to see him, walks this time.
by him, and speaks as it were to himself.] Lady Touch. How does he bear his disappoint
Enter MELLEFONT, musing. ment?
Musk. Secure in my assistance, he seemed not Mercy on us! what will the wickedness of this much afflicted, but rather laughed at the shallow world come to? artifice, which so little time must, of necessity, Nel. How now, Jack? What, so full of condiscover. Yet he is apprehensive of some farther templation that you run over! design of yours, and bas engaged me to watch
Nlask. I'm glad you are come, for I could not you. I believe he will hardly be able to prevent contain myself any longer, and was just going to your plot; yet I would have you use caution and give vent to a secret, which nobody but you ought expedition.
to drink down. Your aunt is just gone from Lady Touch. Expedition indeed; for all we do hence. must be peformed in the remaining part of this Mel. And having trusted thee with the secrets evening, and before the company break up, lest of her soul, thou art villainously bent to discover my lord should coul, and have an opportunity to them all to me, ha? talk with him privately — My lord must not see Mask. I am afraid my frailty leans that way him again.
but I dont know, whether I can, in honour, discoMask. By no means; therefore, you must ag ver them all. gravate my lord's displeasure to a degree that will Mel. All, all, man. What, you may, in honour, admit of no conference with him—What think betray her as far as she betrays herself. No trayou of mentioning me?
gical design upon my person, I hope. Lady Touch. How?
Mask. No, but it is a comical design upon Mask. To my lord, as having been . privy to mine.
Mel. What dost thou mean?
about; but I made love a great while to no purMask. Listen, and be dumb we have been pose. bargaining about the rate of your ruin
Mel. Why, what's the matter? she is convinMel. Like any two guardians to an orphan ced that I don't care for her. heiress-Well.
Care. I cannot get an answer from her, that Mask. And whereas pleasure is generally paid does not begin with her bonour, or her virtue, her with mischief, what mischief I do is to be paid | religion, or some such cant. Then, she has told with pleasure.
me the whole story of sir Paul's nine year's courtMel. So, when you've swallowed the potion, ship; how he has lain, for whole nights together, you sweeten your mouth with a plumb.
upon the stairs before her chamber-door ; and Mask. You are merry, sir, but I shall probe that the first favour he received from her was a your constitution. In short, the price of your ba- piece of an old scarlet petticoat for a stomacher; nishment is to be paid with the person of which, since the day of his marriage, he has, out
Mel. Of Cynthia, and her fortune—why, you of a piece of gallantry, converted into a nightforget you told me this before.
cap, and wears it still with much solemnity on Mask. No, no-so far, you are right; and I his anniversary wedding night. am, as an earnest of that bargain, to have full Mel. That I have seen, with the ceremony and free possession of the person of -your thereunto belonging-for, on that night, he creeps
in at the bed's feet, like a gulled bassa that has Mlel. Hla! Pho, you trifle.
married a relation of the grand signior. I wonAlask. By this light, I am serious; all raillery der he never told you his grievances; he will, I apart, I knew 'twould stun you: this evening, at
warrant you. eight, she will receive me in her bed-chamber. Care. Excessively foolish! but that, which Mel
. Hell and the devil! is she abandoned of . gives me most hopes of her, is her telling me of all grace—why? the woman is possessed the many temptations she has resisted. Mask. Well, will you go in my stead?
. Nay, then you have her; for a woman's Mel. By Heaven, into a hot furnace sooner! bragging to a man, that she has overcome tempt
Mask. No, you would not—it would not be so ations, is an argument, that they were weakly ofconvenient, as I can order matters.
fered, and a challenge to him to engage her more Mel. What do you mean?
irresistibly. 'Tis only an enhancing the price of Mask. Mean! not to disappoint the lady, I as the commodity, by telling you how many customsure you—Ha, ha, ha! how gravely he looks ers have underbid her. come, come, I won't perplex you.
'Tis the only
Care. Nay, I dont despair—but still she has a thing that Providence could have contrived to grudging to you—I talked to her t'other night at make me capable of serving you, either to my in my lord Froth's masquerade, when I am satisfied clination, or your own necessity.
she knew me, and I had no reason to complain of Mel. How, how, for Heaven's sake, dear Mask- my reception; but I find women are not the same well ?
bare-faced, and in masks—and a vizor disguises Mask. Why thus—I'll go according to appoint- their inclinations as much as their faces. ment; you shall have notice, at the critical mi Mel. Here they come. I'll leave you. Ply nute, to come and surprize your aunt and me to- her close, and by and by clap a billet-doux into gether; counterfeit a rage against me, and I will her hand: for a woman never thinks a man truly make my escape through the private passage in love with her, till he has been fool eno fronı her chamber, which I will take care to leave think of her out of her sight, and to lose so much open: 'twill be hard, if then you can't bring her time as to write to her. to any conditions. For this discovery will dis
[Exit MELLEFONT. arm her of all defence, and leave her entirely at your mercy: nay, she must ever after be in awe
Enter Sir Paul and Lady PLYANT. Mel. Let me adore thee, my better genius! Sir Paul. Shan't we disturb your meditation, by Heaven, I think it is not in the power of Fate Mr Careless? You would be in private ? to disappoint my hopes—my hopes ! my cer Care. You bring that along with you, sir Paul, tainty.
that shall be always welcome to my privacy, Mask. Well, I'll meet you here within a quar Sir Paul. O, sweet sir! you load your humter of eight, and give you notice.
ble servants, both me and my wife, with conti
[Exit MASKWELL. nual favours. Mel. Good fortune ever go along with thee. Lady Ply. Sir Paul, what a phrase was there!
You will be making answers, and taking that upEnter CARELESS.
on you, which ought to lie upon me: that you Care. Mellefont, get out of the way; my lady should have so little breeding to think Mr CarePlyant's coming, and I shall never succeed, while less did not apply himself to me! Pray, what thou art in sight--though she begins to tack have you to entertain any body's privacy? I swear
and declare, in the face of the world, I am ready thank Heaven, in a fine way of living, as I may to blush for your ignorance.
say, peacefully and happily, and I think need not Sir Paul. I acquiesce, my lady;, but don't snub envy any of my neighbours, blessed be Provi
dence-Aye, truly, Mr Careless, my lady is a
[Aside to her. great blessing ; a fine, discreet, well-spoken woLady Ply. Mr Careless, if a person, that is man as you shall see—if it becomes me to say wholly illiterate, might be supposed to be capa so; and we live very comfortably together; she is ble of being qualified to make a suitable return a little hasty sometimes, and so am I; but mine is to those obligations, which you are pleased to soon over; and then, I am so sorry-Oh, Mr Careconfer upon one that is wholly incapable of be- less, if it were not for one thinging qualibed in all those circumstances, I am sure I should rather attempt it than any thing in the
Enter Boy, with a letter. world—(Courtesies) --for I am sure there is nothing in the world that I would rather. [Cour Lady Ply. How often have you been told of tesies.] But I know Mr Careless is so great a that, you jackanapes ? critic, and so fine a gentleman, that it is impossi Sir Paul. Gad so, gads-bud
Tim, carry ble for me
it to my lady; you should have carried it my lady
Boy. "Tis directed to your worship.
ters first -Child, do so no more; d'ye hear,
[Erit. give me leave to declare, in the face of the Sir Paul. A humour of my wife's; you know world, that nobody is more sensible of favours women have little fancies But as i and things; for, with the reserve of my honour, ling you, Mr Careless, if it were not for one I assure you, Mr Careless, I don't know any thing, I should think myself the 1:appiest man in thing in the world I would refuse to a person so the world; indeed, that touches ne vear, very meritorious You'll pardon my want of expression.
Care. What can that be, sir Paul? Care. Oh, your ladyship is abounding in all ex Sir Paul. Why, I have, I thank Heaven, a very cellence, particularly that of phrase.
plentiful fortune, a good estate in the country, Lady Ply. You are so obliging, sir.
some houses in town, and some money, a pretty Care. Your ladysbip is so charming.
tolerable personal estate ; and it is a great grief Sir Paul. So, now, now; now, my lady. to me, indeed it is, Mr Careless, that I have not Lady Ply. So well bred.
a son to inherit tbis. 'Tis true, I have a daughCare. So surprizing.
ter, and a find dutiful child she is, though I say Lady Ply. So well drest, so bonne mien, so it, blessed be Providence I may say; for indeed, eloquent, so unaffected, so easy, so free, so par Mr Careless, I am mightily beholden to Proviticular, so agreeable
dence-A poor unworthy sinner-But if I had a Sir Paul. Aye, so, so, there.
a son, ah! that's my affliction, and my only Care. O lord! I beseech you, madam, don't affliction ; indeed, I cannot refrain tears, when it Lady Ply. So gay, so graceful, so good tecth, nes into my mind.
Cries. so fine shape, so fine limbs, so fine linen, and I Care. Why, methinks that might be easily redon't doubt but you have a very good skin, sir. medied; my lady is a fine likely woman.
Care. For Heaven's sake, madam-I am quite Sir Paul. Oh, a fine likely woman as you shall put of countenance.
see in a summer's day -Indeed she is, Șir Paul. And my lady's quite out of breath ; Mr Careless, in all respects. or else you should hear-Gad's bud, you may
Care. And I should not have taken you to talk of my lady Froth.
have been so oldCare. O fy, fy! not to be named of a day—my Sir Paul, Alas! that's not it, Mr Careless : ah! lady Froth is very well in her accomplishments that's not it; no, no; you shoot wide of the mark but it is, when my lady Plyant is not thought of a mile; indeed you do; that's not it, Mr Careless; if that can ever be.
no, no; that's not it. Lady Ply. Oh, you overcome me—that is so Care. No? what can be the matter, then?
Sir Paul. You'll scarcely believe me, when I Sir Paul. Nay, I swear and vow that was shall tell you—my lady is so nice. It is pretty.
very strange, but it is true : too trueCare. Oh, sir Paul, you are the happiest man is so very nice, that I don't believe she alive. Such a lady! that is the envy of her own would touch a man for the world. -Insex, and the admiration of ours !
deed, it is true, Mr Careless, it brcaks my Sir Paul Your humble servant; I am, I heart I am her husband, as I may say,
though far unworthy of that honour, yet I am
Enter Boy, and whispers Sir Paul. her husband; but alas-a-day! I have no more familiarity with her person—than with my own Şir Paul. Gad so-Wife, Wife! my lady mother- no, indeed.
Plyant ! I have a wordCare. Alas-a-day! this is a lamentable story; Lady Ply. I am busy, sir Paul ; I wonder at my lady must be told of it; she must, in faith, your impertinencesir Paul; 'tis an injury to the world.
Care. Sir Paul, harkee! I am reasoning the Sir Paul. Ah! would to Heaven you would, matter you know : Madam, if your Ladyship Mr Careless ! you are mightily in her favour. please, we'll discourse of this in the next room. Care. I warrant you; what! we must have a
(Ereunt Lady Plyant and CARELESS. son some way or other.
Sir Paul. O bo! I wish you good success; Sir Paul. Indeed, I should be mightily bound to I wish you good success. Boy, tell my lady, you, if you could bring it about, Mr Careless. when she has done, I would speak with her beLady Ply. Here, sir Paul, it is from your low.
[Erit Sir Paul steward; here's a return of 600l. you may take fity of it for the next half-year.
Enter LADY FROTH and Brisk. (Gives him the letter. Lady Froth. Then, you think that episode
between Susan the dairy-maid, and our coachEnter LORD FROTH and CYNTHIA.
man, is not amiss ; you know, I may supo
pose the dairy in town, as well as in the country. Sir. Paul. How does my girl? Come hitber to Brisk. Incomparable, let me perish! But thy father, poor lamb; thou art melancholic. then, being an heroic poem, had you not better
Lord Froth. Heaven, sir Paul, you amaze call him a charioteer? Charioteer sounds great : me of all things in the world—You are besides, your ladyship's coachman having a red never pleased but when we are all upon the face, and you comparing him to the sun broad grin; all laugh and no company; ah! And you know the sun is called Heaven's charithen 'tis such a sight to see some teeth oteer. sure you are a great admirer of my lady Lady Froth. Oh, infinitely better ! I am exWhifler, Mr Sneer, and sir Laurence Loud, tremely beholden to you for the hint; stay, we'll and that gang,
read over those half a score lines again. [Pulls Sir Paul. I vow and swear she is a very out a paper.] Let me see here; you know what merry woman; but I think she laughs a little too goes before -the comparison, you know. much.
[Reads.] Lord Froth. Merry! O lord, what a cha • For as the sun shines every day, racter that is of a woman of quality-You
So, of our coachman, I may say.' have been at my lady Whifler's upon her day, madam?
Brisk. I am afraid that simile won't do in wet Cyn. Yes, my lord-I must humour this fool. weather-Because you say the sun shines every
[Aside. day. Lord Froth. Well and how? hee! What is Lady Froth. No, for the sun it won't, but your sense of the conversation?
it will do for che coachman; for you know Cyn. O, most ridiculous, a perpetual concert there's most occasion for a coach in wet weath of laughing without any harmony; for sure, my er. lord, to laugh out of time, is as disagreeable as Brisk. Right, right; that saves all. to sing out of time, or out of tune.
Lady Froth. Then, I don't say the sun shines Lord Froth. Hee, hee, hee! right; and then all the day, but that he peeps now and then; yet my lady Whifler is so ready—she always comes he does shine all the day too, you know, though in three bars too soon—And then, what do they we don't see him. laugh at? For you know laughing without a jest Brisk. Right, but the vulgar will never comis as impertinent, hee! as
prehend that. Cyn. As dancing without a fiddle.
Lady Froth. Well, you shall hear-Let me Lord Froth. Just, in faith! that was at my see.
(Reads.] tongue's end.
• For as the sun shines every day, Cyn. But that cannot be properly said of them; · So of our coachman I may say; for I think they are all in good nature with the • He shews his drunken fiery face, world, and only laugh at one another; and • Just as the sun does, more or less.' you must allow they have all jests in their persons, though they have none in their conversa Brisk. That's right; all's well, all's well. More tion.
Lord Froth. True, as I am a person of hon Lady Froth. [Reads.] our-For Heaven's sake let us sacrifice them * And when at night his labour's done, to mirth a little.
. Then too, like Heaven's charioteer, the sun ::