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Bel. Dear aunt, have a better opinion of your Bel. It is true; but then a woman must abandiece's understanding,
don one of the supreme blessings of her life. Lady Brute. You'll make me angry.
For I am fully convinced, no man has half that Bel. You'll make me laugh.
pleasure in possessing a mistress, as a womau has Lady Brute. Then you are resolved to per- in jilting a gallant.
Lady Brute. The happiest woman, then, on Bel. Positively.
earth must be our neighbour. Lady Brute. And all I can say
Bel. O the impertinent composition! She has Bel. Will signify nothing.
vanity and affectation enough to make her a riLady Brute. Though I should swear 'twere diculous original, in spite of all that art and nafalse
ture ever furnished to any of her sex before her. Bel. I should think it true.
Lady Brute. She concludes all men her capLady Brute. Then let us forgive, (kissing her] tives; and whatever course they take, it serves to for we have both offended: 1, in making a se confirm her in that opinion. cret, you, in discovering it.
Bel. If they shun her, she thinks it is modesty, Bel. Good nature may do much: But you have and takes it for a proof of their passion. more reason to forgive one, than I have to par Lady Brute. And if they are rude to her, it is don the other.
conduct, and done to prevent town talk. Lady Brute. Tis true, Belinda, you have given Bel. When her folly makes them laugh, she me so many proofs of your friendship, that my thinks they are pierced with her wit. reserve has been indeed a crime: But that you Ludy Brute. And when her impertinence may more easily forgive me, remember, child, makes them dull, concludes they are jealous of that
, when our nature proinpts us to a thing our her favours. honour and religion have forbid us, we would Bel. All their actions and their words, she (were it possible) conceal, even from the soul it takes for granted, aim at her. self, the knowledge of the body's weakness. Lady Brute. And pitjes all other women, be
Bel. Well, I hope, to make your friend amends, cause she thinks they envy her. you will hide nothing from her for the future, Bel. Pray, out of pity to ourselves, let us find though the body should still grow weaker and a better subject; for I am weary of this. Do you weaker.
think your husband inclined to jealousy? Lady Brute. No, from this moment, I have no Lady Brute. O, no; he does not love me well more reserve; and, for a proof of any repentance, enough for that. Lord, how wrong men's maxims I own, Belinda, I am in danger. Merit and wit are! They are seldom jealous of their wives, uoassault me from without, nature and love solicit less they are very fond of them: whereas they me within; my husband's barbarous usage piques ought to consider the women's inclinations, for me to revenge; and Satan, catching at the fair there depends their fate. Well, men may talk; occasion, throws in my way that vengeance, but they are not so wise as we-that's certain. which, of all vengeance, pleases women best. Bel. At least in our affairs.
Bel. 'Tis well Constant don't know the weak Lady Brute. Nay, I believe we should out-do ness of the fortification; for, o' my conscience, them in the business of the state too: For, mehe'd soon come on to the assault.
thinks, they do, and undo, and make but bad Lady Brute. Ay, and I'm afraid carry the town work on't. too. But whatever you may have observed, I Bel. Why, then, don't we get into the intrigues have dissembled so well as to keep him ignorant. of government as well as they? So you see I'm no coquet, Belinda: And, if you Lady Brute. Because we have intrigues of our follow my advice, you will never be one neither. own, that make us more sport, child. And so, Tis troe, coquetry is one of the main ingre- let's in and consider of them.
[Ereunt. dients in the natural composition of a woman, and I, as well as others, could be well enough
SCENE II.-A dressing-room. pleased to see a crowd of young fellows ogling, and glancing, and watching all occasions to do Enter Lady FancyFUL, MADEMOISELLE, and forty foolish officious things: Nay, should some
Cornet. of them push on, even to hanging or drowning, Why-Faith—if I should let pure woman alone, Lady Fun. How do I look this morning? I should e'en be but too well pleased with it. Cor. Your ladyship looks very ill, truly.
Bel. I'll swear, 'twould tickle me strangely. Lady Fan. Lard, how ill-natured thou art,
Ludy Brute. But, after all, 'tis a vicious prac- Cornet, to tell me so, though the thing should be tice in us, to give the least encouragement, but true. Don't you know, that I have humility where we design to come to a conclusion. For enough to be but too easily out of conceit with it is an unreasonable thing to engage a man in a myself? Hold the glass; I dare swear that will disease, which we, before-hand, resolve we will have more manners than you have. Madeinoja pever apply a cure to,
selle, let me have your opinion too.
Madem. My opinion pe, matam, dat your la- | French ladies, when they are thus accablées ? dyship never look so well in your life.
Mladem. Matam, dey_never complain. Ad Lady Fan. Well, the French are the prettiest contraire. When one Frense laty have got a obliging people! they say the most acceptable, hundred lover Den she do all she canwell-mannered things—and never flatter. to get a hundred more.
Madem. Your ladyship say great justice in Lady Fan. Well, let me die, I think they have teed.
le goût bon. For 'tis an unutterable pleasure to Lady Fan. Nay, every thing's just in my house be adored by all the men, and envied' by all the but Cornet. The very looking-glass gives her the
-Yet I'll swear I'm concerned at the dementi
. But I am almost afraid it flatters me, torture I give them. Lard, why was I formed to it makes me look so very engaging,
make the whole creation uneasy? But let me [Looking affectedly in the glass. read my letter.
[Reads. Madem. Inteed, matam, your face pe handsomer den all de looking-glass in de world, croyez 'If you have a mind to hear of
• instead of being praised for your virtues, take Lady Fan. But is it possible my eyes can be the pains to walk in the Green-walk in Saint so languishing—and so very full of fire ! * James's Park, with your woman, an hour bence.
Madem. Matam, if de glass was burning-glass, " You'll there meet one, who hates you for some I believe your eyes set de fire in de house. things, as he could love you for others, and
Lady Fan. You may take that night-gown, 'therefore is willing to endeavour your reformamademoiselle; get out of the room, Cornet; I ' tion--If you come to the place I mention, can't endure you. This wench, methinks, does 'you'll know who I am: if you don't, you never look so insufferably ugly.
shall : So take your choice.' Madem. Every ting look ugly, natam, dat stand by your latiship.
This is strangely familiar, mademoiselle ; now Lady Fan. No really, mademoiselle; methinks have I a provoking fancy to know, who this imyou look mighty pretty:
pudent fellow is. Madem. Ah matam! de moon have no eclat, Madem. Den take
scarf and your mask, ven de sun appear.
and go to de rendezvous. De Frense laty do Lady Fan. O pretty expression! Have you justeinent comme ça. ever been in love, mademoiselle?
Lady Fan. Rendezvous! What, rendezvous Madem. Ouy, matam.
[sighing. with a man, mademoiselle? Lady Fan. And were you beloved again?
Madem. Eh, pourquoy non? Madem. No, matam.
[sighing. Lady Fan. What, and a man perhaps I never Lady Fan. O ye gods! What an unfortunate saw in
life! creature should I be in such a case! But nature Madem. Tant mieux: C'est donc quelque has made me nice for my own defence: I'm chose de nouveau. nice, strangely nice, mademoiselle. I believe, Lady Fan. Why, how do I know what designs were the merit of whole mankind bestowed upon he may have? He may intend to ravish me, for one single person, I should still think the fellow aught I know. wanted something to make it worth my while to Madem. Ravish ?-Bagatelle. I would fain take notice of him: And yet I could love; nay, see one impudent rogue ravish madeinoiselle; fondly love, were it possible to have a thing made Oui, je le voudrois ! on purpose for me : For I'm not cruel, mademoi Lady Fan. O but my reputation, mademoiselle; I'm only nice.
selle, my reputation; ah, ma chere reputation ! Madem. Ah, matam! I wish I was fine gentle Madem. Matam-e-Quand on l'a une fois man for your sake. I do all de ting in de world, perdue-On n'en est plus embarrassée. to get a
Lady Fan. Fe, mademoiselle, fe! reputation I make verse, I give you de serenade, I give great is a jewel. many present to mademoiselle; I no eat, I no Madem. Qui coute bien chere, matam. sleep, I be lean, I be mad, I hang myself, I drown Ludy Fan. Why sure you would not sacrifice myself. Ah, ma chere dame, que je vous aime- your honour to your pleasure ? rois !
(Embracing her. Madem. Je suis philosophe. Lady Fan. Well, the French have strange Lady Fan. Bless me, how you talk! Why, obliging ways with them; you may take those two what it honour be a burden, mademoiselle, must pair of gloves, mademoiselle.
it not be borne? Madem. Me humbly tank my sweet lady. Madem. Chaqu'un a sa façon-Quand quel
que chose m'incommode moy~-je m'en defais, Enter Servant, with a letter.
vite. Ser. Madam, here's a letter for your ladyship. Lady Fan. Get you gone, yov little naughty
Lady Fan. 'T'is thus I am importuned every Frenchwoman you! I vow and swear I must turn morning, mademoiselle. Pray, how do the you out of doors, if you talk thus,
Madem. Turn me out of doors !-turn your Madem. Tant pis pour vous. self out of doors, and go see what de gentleman Lady Fan. Curiosity's a wicked devil. have to say to you— Tenez. Voilà (giving her Madem. C'est une charmante sainte. her things hastily.] votre esharpe, voilà votre Lady Fun. It ruined our first parents. coife, voilà votre masque, voilà tout. Hey, Mer Madem. Elle a bien diverti leurs enfans. cure, Coquin: Call one chair for matam, and one Lady Fan. L'honneur est contre. oder (calling within] for me : Va t’en, vite. Madem. Le plaisir est pour. [Turning to her lady, and helping her on Lady Fan. Must I then go? hastily with her things.]
Madem. Must you go?--Must you eat, must Allons, mataim; depechez vous donc. Mon Dieu, you drink, must you sleep, must you live? De quelles scrupules !
you do toder,
sæur ainée. Madem. Belle chose vrayment que la delica Lady Fan. Do you then prefer your nature to tesse, lors qu'il s'agit de se divertir
your reason, mademoiselle? Vous voilà équipée. Partons---Hé bien ?--qu'avez Mudem. Qui da. vous donc?
Lady Fan. Pourquoi ? Lady Fan. J'ai peur.
Mudem. Because my nature make me merry, Madem. Je n'en point moi.
my reason make me mad. Ludy Fan. I dare not go.
Lady Fan. Ah, la méchante Francoise ! Madem. Demeurex donc.
Madem. Ah, la belle Angloise ! Lady Fan. Je suis poltrove.
(Forcing her lady off.
SCENE I.-- St. James's Park.
Lady Fan. Pray, sir, let me ask a question in
my turn: By what right do you pretend to exEnter LADY FANCYFUL and MADEMOISELLE.
amine me? Lady Fan. Well, I vow, mademoiselle, I'm Heart. By the same right that the strong gostrangely impatient to know who this contident vern the weak; because I have you in my power;
for you cannot get so quickly to your coach, but
I shall have time enough to make you hear every
thing I have to say to you.
help for it; for know, that I have a design upon you. Lady Fan. Yes, 'tis he: Now he will be most Lady Fan. Upon me, sir ! intolerably cavalier, though he should be in love Heart. Yes; and one that will turn to your
glory, and my comfort, if you will but be a little Heart. Madam, I'm your humble servant; wiser than you use to be. I perceive you have more humility and good Lady Fan. Very well, sir. nature than I thought you had.
Heart. Let me see-Your vanity, madam, I Lady Fan. What you attribute to humility take to be about some eight degrees higher than and good nature, sir, may, perhaps, be only due any woman's in the town, let t'other be who she to curiosity. I had a mind to know who'twas, had will; and my indifference is naturally about the ill manners enough to write that letter.
same pitch. Now could you find the way to turn [Throwing him his letter. this indifference into fire and flames, methinks Heart. Well, and now I hope you are satisfied. your vanity ought to be satisfied; and this, perLady Fun. I am so, sir : Good-by t'ye. haps, you inight bring about upon pretty reason
Heart. Nay, hold there; though you have able terms. done your business, I han't done mine: By your Lady Fan. And pray, at what rate would this ladyship's leave, we must have one moment's indifference be bought off
, if one should have so prattle together. Have you a mind to be the depraved an appetite as to desire it? prettiest woman about town, or not? How she Heart. Why, madam, to drive a quaker's barstares upon me! What! this passes for an im- gain, and make but one word with you, if I do pertinent question with you now, because you part with it-you must lay me down-your afthink you are so already.
Lady Fan. My affectation, sir !
doing here this morning? Heart. Why, I ask you nothing but what you Heart. Doing! guess if you can—Why I inay very
have been endeavouring to persuade my lady Lady Fan. You grow rude, sir. Come, ma- Fancyful, that she's the most foolish woman demoiselle, 'tis high time to be gone.
about town. Madem. Allons, allons, allons !
Con. A pretty endeavour truly! Heart. [stopping them.] Nay, you may as
Heart. I have told her in as plain English as well stand still; for hear me you shall, walk I could speak, both what the town says of her, which way you please.
and what I think of her. In short, I have used Lady Fan. What mean you, sir?
her as an absolute king would do Magna Charta. Heart. I mean to tell you, that you are the Con. And how does she take it? most ungrateful woman upon earth.
Heart. As children do pills; bite them, but Lady Fan. Ungrateful! To whom?
can't swallow them. Heart. To nature.
Con. But, prithee, what has put it into your Lady Fan. Why, what has nature done to me? head, of all mankind, to turn reformer?
Heart. What you have undone by art! It Heart. Why, one thing was, the morning made you handsome; it gave you beauty to a hung upon my hands, I did not know what to do miracle, a shape without a fault, wit enough to with myself : and another was, that as little as I make them relish, and so turned you loose to care for women, I could not see with patience your own discretion, which has made such work one, that Heaven had taken such wondrous with you, that you are become the pity of our pains about, be so very industrious to make hersex, and the jest of your own. There is not a self the jack-pudding of the creation. feature in your face, but you have found the way Con. Well, now could I almost wish to see to teach it some affected convulsion ; your feet, my cruel mistress make the self-same use of your hands, your very finger ends are directed what Heaven has done for her, that so I might never to move without some ridiculous air or be cured of the same disease, that makes me so other; and your language is a suitable trumpet, very uneasy; for love, love is the devil, Heart. to draw people's eyes upon the raree show. free.
Madem. [aside.) Est ce qu'on fait l'amour en Heart. And why do you let the devil govern Angleterre comme ça ?
Lady Fan. (aside.] Now could I cry for mad Con. Because I have more flesh and blood ness, but that I know he'd laugh at me for it! than grace and self-denial. My dear, dear
Heart. Now do you hate me for telling you mistress—’sdeath! that so gentéel a woman the truth, but that's because you don't believe'tis should be a saint, when religion's out of fashion. so; for, were you once convinced of that, you'd Heart. Nay, she's much in the wrong, truly; reform for your own sake.
but who knows how far time and good example Lady Fan. Every circumstance of nice breed- may prevail? ing must needs appear ridiculous to one, who has Con. O! they have played their parts in so natural an antipathy to good manners. vain already : 'Tis now two years since the
Heart. But suppose I could find the means to damned fellow her husband invited me to his convince you, that the whole world is of my wedding ; and that was the first time I saw that opinion?
charming woman, whoin I have loved ever Lady Fan. Sir, though you, and all the world since; but she is cold, my friend, still cold as you talk of, should be so impertinently officious, the northern star. as to think to persuade me I don't kno:v how to Heart. So are all women by nature, which behave myself; I should still have charity enough makes them so willing to be warmed. for my own understanding, to believe iyself in Con. O don't profane the sex! prithee think the right, and all you in the wrong.
them all angels for her sake; for she's virtuous Madem. Le voilà mort.
even to a fault. [Ereunt Lady Fanciful, and MADEMOISELLE.] I!eart. A lover's head is a good accountable
Heurt. [gazing after her.] There her single thing truly; he adores his mistress for being virclapper has published the sense of the whole sex. tuous, and yet is very angry with her, because Well, this once I have endeavoured to wash the she won't be lewd. black-moor white, but henceforward I'll sooner Con. Well, the only relief I expect in mg undertake to teach sincerity to a courtier, gene- misery is to see thee, some day or other, as rosity to an usurer, honesty to a lawyer, than deeply engaged as myself
, which will force discretion to a woman, I see has once set her me to be merry in the midst of all my misforheart upon playing the fool.
Heart. That day will never come, be assured, Enter Constant.
Ned. Not but that I can pass a night with a Morrow, Constant.
woman. Nay, I can court a woman too, call her Con. "Good-morrow, Jack: What are you nymph, angel, goddess, what you please: But
here's the difference between you and I; I per Heart. And just now he was sure time could suade a woman she's an angel, and she persuades do nothing ! you she's one. Prithee, let me tell you how Con. Yet not one kind glance in two years, is I avoid falling in love ; that, which serves me
somewhat strange. for prevention, may chance to serve you for a Heart. Not strange at all; she don't like you, cure.
that's all the business. Con. Well, use the ladies moderately, then, Con. Prithee, don't distract me. and I'll hear you.
Heart. Nay, you are a good handsome young Heart. That using them moderately undoes fellow, she might use you better: Come, will you us all; but I'll use them justly, and that you go see her? perhaps, she may have changed ought to be satisfied with. I always consider a her mind; there's some hopes as long as she's a woman, not as the taylor, the shoemaker, the tire-woman, the sempstress, and (which is more Con. 0, 'tis in vain to visit her : sometimes, to than all that) the poet makes her; but I consi- get a sight of her, I visit that beast her husband, der her as pure nature has contrived her, and that but she certainly finds some pretence to quit the more strictly than I should have done our old room as soon as I enter. grandmother Eve, had I seen her naked in the Heart. It's much she don't tell him you have garden; for I consider her turned inside out. made love to her, too; for that's another goodHer heart well examined, I find there pride, natured thing usual amongst women, in which vanity, covetousness, indiscretion; but, above all they have several ends. Sometimes 'tis to rethings, malice: plots eternally forging to de- commend their virtue, that they may sin with stroy one another's reputations, and as honestly the greater security. Sometimes 'tis to make to charge the levity of mens' tongues with the their husbands fight, in hopes they may be killed, scandal ; hourly debates how to make poor when their affairs require it should be so: but gentlemen in love with them, with no other in- most commonly 'tis to engage two men in a tent but to use them like dogs when they have quarrel, that they may have the credit of being done; a constant desire of doing more mischief, fought for; and if the lover's killed in the business, and an everlasting war waged against truth and they cry, Poor fellow! he had ill luck—and so good-nature.
they go to cards. Con. Very well, sir; an admirable composi Con. Thy injuries to women are not to be fortion, truly !
given. Look to it, if ever you fall into their Heart. Then for her outside, I consider it handsmerely as an outside; she has a thin tiffany Heart. They can't use me worse than they do covering over just such stuff as you and I are you, that speak well of them. O ho! here comes made of. As for her motion, her mien, her the knight. airs, and all those tricks, I know they affect you mightily. If you should see your mistress at a
Enter StR JOHN BRUTE. coronation, dragging her peacock's train, with all her state and insolence about her, 'would strike Your humble servant, sir John. you with all the awful thoughts, that heaven itself Sir John. Servant, sir. could pretend to from you : whereas, I turn the Heart. How does all your family? whole matter into a jest, and suppose her strut Sir John. Pox on my family! ting in the self-same stately manner, with nothing Con. How does your lady? I ban't seen her on but her stays, and her under scanty quilted abroad a good while. petticoat.
Sir John. Do! I don't know how she does, not Con. Hold thy profane tongue; for I'll hear 1; she was well enough yesterday; I han't been nn more.
at home to-night. Heart. What, you'll love on then ?
Con. What, were you out of town? Con. Yes, to eternity.
Sir John. Out of town! No, I was drinking. Heart. Yet you have no hopes at all?
Con. You are a true Englishman; don't know Con. None.
your own happiness. If I were married to such Heart. Nay, the resolution may be discreet a woman, I would not be from her a night for enough; perhaps you have found out some new
all the wine in France. philosophy, that love, like virtue, is its own re Sir John. Not from her 'Oons-what a ward : So you and your mistress will be as weli time should a man have of that! content at a distance, as others that have less Heart. Why, there's no division, I hope. learning are in coming together.
Sir John. No; but there's a conjunction, and Con. No; but if she should prove kind at last, that's worse; a pox of the parson-Why the my dear Heartfree!
(Embracing him. plague don't you two marry! I tancy I look like Heart. Nay, prithee don't take me for your the devil to you. mistress; for lovers are very troublesome. Heart. Why, you don't think you have horns,
Con. Well, who knows what time may do? do you?