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Year. The Conscious Lovers

..... STEELE

.....1721 The Provoked Husband .

VANBRUGH & CIBBER 1727 The Suspicious Husband

· HOADLY

1747 The Way to keep him ..

MURPHY

• 1760 All in the Wrong

· Ditto

........ 1761 The Jealous Wife....

COLMAN

..1761 The School for Lovers

WHITEHEAD ...

...... •1762 The Clandestine Marriage..............COLMAN & GARRICK . 1766 The English Merchant

- COLMAN

1767 The Brothers ...

CUMBERLAND

• 1769 The West Indian

Ditto

1771 She Stoops to Conquer

GOLDSMITH

1773 The School for Wives

- KELLY

• 1774 The Rivals

SHERIDAN

1775 The Choleric Man..

CUMBERLAND........1775

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THE

BRITISH DRAMA.

EVERY MAN IN HIS HUMOUR.

BY

JONSON.

DRAMATIS PERSONE.

MEN.

ROGER FORMAL, his clerk. KITELY, a merchant.

Master Matthew, the town gull. Captain BOBADIL, a blustering coward.

CASH, Kitely's man.

Сов, Kno'well, an old gentleman.

,

a water-bearer. ED. Kno'well, his son.

WOMEN.
BRAIN-WORM, the father's man.
Master Stephen, a country gull.

DAME KITELY.
DOWNRIGHT, a plain squire.

MRS BRIDGET, sister to Kitely. WELL-BRED, his half brother.

TiB, Cob's wife. JUSTICE CLEMENT, an old merry magistrate.

Scene-London.

ACT I.

SCENE I.- A court-yard before Kno'well's Brain. Well, sir.

[Exit. house.

Kno. How happy, yet, should I esteem myselt,

Could I, by any practice, wean the boy
Enter Kno'well and BRAINWORM.

From one vain course of study he affects. Kno. A Goodly day toward! and a fresh He is a scholar, if a man may trust morning! Brain-worm,

The liberal voice of fame in her report, Call

up young master. Bid him rise, sír. Of good account in both our universities; Tell him, I have some business to employ him. Either of which have favoured him with graces. Brain. I will, sir, presently.

But their indulgence must not spring in me Kno. But hear you, sirrah!

A fond opinion that he cannot err. If he be at his book, disturb himn not.

Myself was once a student; and, indeed,

А

VOL. II.

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Fed with the self-same humour, he is now, Step. What would you ha' me do!
Dreaming on nought but idle poetry,

Kno. What would I have you do! I'll tell you, That fruitless, and unprofitable art,

kinsman; Good unto none, but least to the professors, Learn to be wise, and practise how to thrive; Which, then, I thought the mistress of all know- That would I have thee do: and not to spend ledge :

Your coin on every bauble, that you fancy, But since, time and the truth have waked my On every foolish brain, that humours you. judgment,

would not have you to invade each place, And reason taught me better to distinguish Nor thrust yourself on all societies, The vain from the useful learnings

Till men's affections, or your own desert,

Should worthily invite you to your rank.
Enter Master STEPHEN.

He, that is so respectless in his courses,
Cousin Stephen!

Oft sells his reputation at cheap market. What news with

you,

that you are here so early? Nor would I you should melt away yourself Step. Nothing, but e'en come to see how you In flashing bravery, lest, while you affect do, uncle.

To make a blaze of gentry to the world, Kno. That's kindly done, you are welcome, A little puff of scorn extinguish it,

And you be left like an unsavoury snuff, Step. Ay, I know that, sir. I would not ha' Whose property is only to offend. come else. How doth my cousin Edward, un- I'd have you sober and contain yourself : cle?

Not, that your sail be bigger than your boat : Kno. O, well, coz, go in and see: I doubt he But moderate your expences now (at first), be scarce stirring yet.

As you may keep the same proportion still. Step. Uncle, after I go in, can you tell me an' Nor stand so much on your gentility, he have e'er a book of the sciences of hawking Which is an airy, and mere borrowed thing, and hunting? I would fain borrow it.

From dead men's dust and bones : and none of víno. Why, I hope you will not a hawking yours now, will you?

Except you make, or hold it. Who comes here! Step. No wosse, but I'll practise against the next year, uncle. I have bought me a hawk,

Enter a Servant. and a hood, and bells, and all; I lack nothing Serv. Save you, gentlemen. but a book to keep it by.

Step. Nay, we do not stand much on our genKno. O, most ridiculous !

tility, friend; yet, you are welcome; and I asStep. Nay, look you now, you are angry, un- sure you mine uncle here is a man of a thousand cle. Why, you know, an' a man have not skill a-year, Middlesex land; he has but one son in all in the hawking and hunting languages now-a

the world; I am his next heir (at the common days, I'll not give a rush for him. They are law) master Stephen, as simple as I stand bere; more studied than the Greek, or the Latin. He if my cousin die (as there is hope he will.) I have is for no gallant's company without them. And a pretty living o' my own too, beside, hard by by Gad's lid I scorn it, I, so I do, to be a consort here. for

every hum-drum; hang them scroyls, there's Serv. In good time, sir. nothing in them, in the world.

Step. In good time, sir! why? and in very talk on it? Because I dwell at Hogsdei. I shall good time, sir. You do not fout, friend, do you? keep company with none but the archers of Fins- Sero. Not I, sir. bury! or the citizens, that come a dui king to Step. Not you, sir! you were best not, sir; Islington ponds ! A fine jest i'faith! slie', a gen- an' you should, here be them can perceive it, tleman mun show himself like a gentleman.- and that quickly too : go to. And they can give Uncle, I pray you be not angry. I know what I it again soundly too, an' need be. have to do; I trow, I am no novice.

Serv. Why, sir, let this satisfy you : good faith, Kno. You are a prodigal, absurd coxcomb: go I had no such intent. to!

Step. Sir, an' I thought you had, I would talk Nay, never look at me, 'tis I that speak. with you, and that presently. Take it as you will, sir, I'll not flatter you.

Sero. Good master Stephen, so you may, sir, Have you not yet found means enow to waste at your pleasure. That, wbich your friends have left you, but you Step. And so I would, sir, good my saucy

companion, an' you were out of my uncle's Go cast away your money on a kite,

ground, I can tell you; though I do not stand And know not how to keep it, when you've done? upon my gentility neither in it. 0, 'tis comely! this will make you a gentleman ! Kno. Cousin ! cousin ! Will this ne'er be left ? Well, cousin, well! I see you are e'en past hope Step. Whoreson, base fellow? a mechanical Of all reclaim. Ay, so, now you're told on it, serving man? By this cudgel, an' 'twere not for You look another way.

shaine, I would

What do you

must

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Kno. What would you do, you peremptory ' sent the like to the Grand Signior. One is a gull?

rhimer, sir, o' your own batch, your own leven; If you cannot be quiet, get you hence.

but doth think himself poet-major o' the town; You see, the honest man demeans himself willing to be shewn, and worthy to be seen.-Modestly towards you, giving no reply

* The other—I will not venture his description To your unseasoned, quarrelling, rude fashion : with you till you come, because I would have And still you huff it, with a kind of carriage, you make hither with an appetite. If the worst As void of wit, as of humanity.

of them be not worth your journey, draw your Go, get you in ! 'fore Heaven, I am ashamed bill of charges, as unconscionable as any GuildThou hast a kinsman's interest in me.

“hall verdict will give it you, and you shall be

[Erit STEPHEN. " allowed your Viaticum. Sero. I pray you, sir, is this master Kno'well's

From the Windmill.' house? Kno. Yes, marry, is it, sir.

From the Burdello, it might come as well; Serv. I should inquire for a gentleman here, The Spittal : is this the man, one master Edward Kno'well : do you know any My son hath sung so, for the happiest wit, such, sir, I pray you?

The choicest brain, the times have sent us Kno. I should forget myself else, sir.

forth? Sero. Are you the gentleman ? cry your mer- I know not what he may be in the arts; cy, sir : I was required by a gentleman in the Nor what in schools : but, şurely, for his mancity, as I rode out at this end of the town, to

ners, deliver you this letter, sir.

I judge him a profane and dissolute wretch : Kno. To me, sir? [To his most selected friend, Worse, by profession of such great good gifts, Master Edward Knoʻucell.] What might the gen- Being the master of so loose a spirit. tleman's name be, sir, that sent it?

Why, what unhallowed ruffian would have writ Serv. One Master Well-bred, sir.

In such a scurrilous nianner to a friend? Kno. Master Well-bred! A young gentleman, Why should he think, I tell my apricots ? is he not?

Or play the Hesperian dragon with my fruit, Serv. The same, sir; Master Kitely married his To watch it? Well, my son, I thought sister: the rich merchant in the Old Jewry. You'd had more judgment to have made elecKno. You say very true, Brain-worm!

tion

Of your companions, than to have taken on trust Enter BRAIN-WORM.

Such petulant, jeering gamesters, that can sparc Brain. Sir.

No argument, or subject from their jest. Kno. Make this honest friend drink here.- But I perceive, affection makes a fool Pray you go in.

Of any man, too much the father. Brain-worm! [Ereunt BRAINWorm and Servant.

Enter BRAIN-WORM.
This letter is directed to my son :
Yet I am Edward Kno'well too, and may,

Brain. Sir.
With the safe conscience of good manners, use Kno. Is the fellow gone, that brought this let-
The fellow's error to my satisfaction.

ter?
Well, I will break it ope (old men are curious) Brain. Yes, sir, a pretty while since.
Be it but for the style's sake, and the phrase, Kno. And where's your young master?
To see if both do answer my son's praises,

Brain. In his chamber, sir.
Who is almost grown the idolater

Kno. He spake not with the fellow, did he? Of this young Well-bred : What have we here? Brain. No, sir, he saw him not, What's this?

Kno. Take you this letter, seal it, and deliver

it to my son; [The letter.]

But with no notice, that I have opened it, on * Why, Ned, I beseech thee, hast thou fore- Brain. O lord, sir, that were a jest indeed! sworn all thy friends i' the Old Jewry? or dost Kno. I am resolved I will not stop his jour• thou think us all Jews, that inhabit there? Leave ney; • thy vigilant father alone, to number over his Nor practise any violent means to stay green apricots, evening and morning, o' the The unbridled course of youth in him : for that, north-west wall: an' I had been his son, I had Restrained, grows more impatient. saved him the labour long since; if taking in all There is a way of winning, more by love, 'the young wenches that pass by, at the back- And urging of the modesty, than fear: * door, and coddling every kernel of the fruit for Force works on servile natures, not the free. them would have served. But prithee, come He, that's compelled to goodness, may be good; over to me, quickly, this morning: I have such But, 'tis but for that fit: where others, drawn • a present for thee! Our Turkey company never By softness, and example, get a liabit.

your life.

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