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Mira. Come, sir, will you endeavour to forget my transformation to a reformation into Waityourself—and transform into sir Rowland ? well. Nay, I shan't be quite the same Waitwell,

Wait. Why, sir, it will be impossible I should neither; for now, I remember, I'm married, and remember myself. (Exit MIRABELL.] Married, can't be my own again. knighted, and attended all in one day ! 'tis Ay, there's my grief; that's the sad change of enough to make any man forget hinuself. The

life; difficulty will be how to recover my acquaintance To lose my title, and yet keep my wife. and familiarity with my former self; and fall from



SCENE I.-A room in LADY WISH FORT's house.

Enter Peg. LADY WISHFort at her toilet, Peg waiting.

No Foible yet?

Peg. No, madam, Mrs Marwood. Lady Wish. MERCIFUL, no news of Foible Lady Wish. O, Marwood ! let her come into yet?

Come in, good Marwood. Peg. No, madam.

Enter Mrs MARWOOD. Lady Wish. I have no more patience-If I have not fretted myself till I am pale again, Mrs Mar. I'm surprised to find your ladysbip there's no veracity in me. Fetch me the red-- in dishabille at this time of day. the red, do you hear, sweet-heart! an arrant Lady Wish. Foible's a lost thing; has been ash-colour, as I'm a person. Look you how this abroad since morning, and never heard of since. wench stirs ! why dost thou not fetch me a little Mrs Mar. I saw her but now, as I came red? didst thou not hear me, mopus ?

masked through the park, in conference with Peg. The red ratafia, does your ladyship mean, Mirabell. or the cherry-brandy?

Lady Wish. With Mirabell! you call my blood Lady Wish. Ratafia, fool! no, fool, not the into my face, with mentioning that traitor. She ratafia, fool !–Grant me patience! I mean the durst not have the confidence. I sent her to ne Spanish paper, ideot; complexion. Darling paint, gociate an affair, which, if I'm detected, I'm paint, paint ! dost thou understand that, change- undone. If that wheedling villain has wrought ling? dangling thy hands like bobbins before thee! upon Foible to detect me, I'm ruined. Oh, my why dost thou 'not stir, puppet? thou wooden dear friend ! I'm a wretch of wretches, if I'm dething upon wires.

Peg. Lord, madam, your ladyship is so im Mrs Mar. O, madam, you cannot suspect Mrs patient-I cannot come at the paint, madam; Foible's integrity. Mrs Foible has locked it up, and carried the key Lady Wish. Ó, he carries poison in his tongue, with her.

that would corrupt integrity itself. If she has Lady Wish. Plague take


both Fetch given him an opportunity, she has as good as put me the cherry-brandy, then. (Exit Pec.] I'm as her integrity into his hands. Ah, dear Marwood! pale and as faint-I look like Mrs Qualmsick, the what's integrity to an opportunity ?—Hark, I hear curate's wife, that's always breeding-Wench, her!—Dear friend, retire into my closet, that I come, come, wench, what art thou doing? sip- may examine her with more freedom-You'll parping! tasting! save thee, dost thou not know don me, dear friend, I can make bold with youthe bottle?

There are books over the chimney-Quarles and

Pryn, and the Short View of the Stage, with Enter Peg with a bottle and china cup.

Bunyan's works, to entertain you

[Erit Mrs MARWOOD. Lady Wish. A cup, save thee! and what a cup Go, you thing, and send her in. [Exit Pec. hast thou brought! dost thou take me for a fairy, to drink out of an acorn? why didst thou not

Enter FOIBLE. bring thy thimble? hast thou ne’er a brass thiin Lady Wish. O, Foible! where hast thou been! ble clinking in thy pocket, with a bit of nutmeg? what hast thou been doing? I warrant thee. Come, fill, fill So—again. Foi, Madam, I have seen the party. See who that is. [One knocks.] Set down the bot Lady Wish. But what hast thou done? tle first.—Here, here, under the table-What, Foi. Nay, 'tis your ladyship has done, and are would'st thou go with the bottle in thy hand, like to do; I have only promised. But a nian so a tapster? [Exit Peg.] As I'in a person, this enamoured !-so transported ! well, if worshipwench has lived in an inn upon the road, before ping of pictures be a sin—poor sir Rowland, I she came to me, like Maritornes, the Asturian, say. in Don Quixote,

Lady Wish. The miniature has been counted



like --But hast thou not betrayed me, Foible? hast his taylor. Yes, he shall have my niece with her thou not detected me to that faithless Mirabell? fortune, he shall, -What hadst thou to do with him in the park? Foi. He ! I hope to see him lodge in Ludgate answer me, has he got nothing out of thee? first, and angle into Black Friars for brass far

Foi. So, mischief has been before-hand with things, with an old mitten. me; what shall I say? [Aside.] Alas! madam, Lady Wish. Ay, dear Foible; thank thee for could I help it, if I met that confident thing that, dear Foible. He has put me out of all pawas I in fault? If you had heard how he used tience. I shall never recompose my features, to me, and all upon your ladyship's account, I'm receive sir Rowland with any economy of face. sure you would not suspect my fidelity. Nay, if The wretch has fretted me, that I am absolutely that had been the worst, I could have borne it : decayed. Look, Foible! but he had a fling at your ladyship, too; and, Foi. Your ladyship has frowned a little too then, I could not hold: but, i’faith, 1 gave him rashly, indeed, madam. The are some cracks his own.

discernible in the white varnish. Lady Wish. Me! what did the filthy fellow Lady Wish. Let me see the glass-Cracks,

say'st thou? why, I am arrantly flayed !- I look Foi. O, madam! 'tis a shame to say what he like an old peeled wall

. Thou must repair me, said—With hiş taunts and his fleers, tossing up Foible, before sir Rowland comes, or I shall his nose. * Humph,' says he, “what, you are a never keep up to my picture. hatching some plot, says he, you are so early a Foi. I warrant you, madam; a little art once broad, or catering,' says he, ferreting for some made your picture like you; and, now, a little disbanded officer, I warrant-Half-pay is but of the same art must make like your picture. thin subsistence !-says he. “Well, what pension Your picture must sit for you, madam. does your lady propose ? Let me see;' says he, Lady Wish. But art thou sure sir Rowland will what, she must come down pretty deep now; not fail to come? or will he not fail, when he she's superannuated,' says he, . and

does come? will he be importunate, Foible? for, Lady Wish. Odds my life, I'll have him—I'll if he should not be importunate-I shall never have him murdered! I'll have him poisoned ! | break decorums--I shall die with confusion, if I Where does he eat? I'll marry a drawer, to have am forced to advance--Oh, no! I can never adbim poisoned in bis wine.

vance !- I shall swoon if he should expect adFoi. Poison him! poisoning's too good for him. vances. No, I hope sir Rowland is better bred, Starve him, madam, starve him; marry sir Row- than to put a lady to the necessity of breaking land, and get him disinherited. O, you would her forms. I won't be too coy, neither.-I won't bless yourself, to hear what he said.

give him despair—But a little disdain is not amiss; Lady Wish. A villain ! superannuated ! a little scorn is alluriny.

Foi. * Humph,' says he, I hear you are lay Foi. A little scorn becomes your ladyship. ing designs against me, too;' says he, “and Mrs Lady Wish. Yes, but tenderness becomes me Millamant is to marry my uncle ;:---he does not best-A sort of a dyingness !-- You see that picsuspect a word of your ladyship : but,” says he, ture has a--sort of a-lla, Foible? a swimming

l'il fit you for that; I warrant you ;' says he, “I'll ness in the eyes !-Yes, I'll look so !-My niece hamper you for that,' says hė, - you, and your attects it, bút she wants features. Is sir Rowold frippery, too,' says he, “I'll handle you? land handsome? let my toilet be removed—I'll

Lady Wish. Audacious villain ! handle me! dress above. I'll receive sir Rowland here. Is would he durst? -Frippery! old frippery! Was he handsome? don't answer me. I won't know : there ever such a foul-mouthed fellow? I'll be I'll be surprised; I'll be taken by surprise. married to-morrow; I'll be contracted to-night. Foi. By storm, madam, sir Rowland's a brisk

Foi. The sooner the better, madam.

Lady Wish. Will sir Rowland be here, say'st Lady Wish. Is he? O, then, he'll importune, if thou? when, Foible?

he's a brisk man. Let my things be removed. Foi. Incontinently, madam. No new sheriff's good foible.

[Erit Lady Wishrort. wife expects the return of her husband after knighthood, with that impatience, in which sir

Enter Mrs FAINALL. Rowland burns for the dear hour of kissing your Mrs Fain. O, Foible, I have been in a fright ladyship’s hand after dinner.

lest I should come too late! That devil, MarLady Wish. Frippery! superannuated frip- wood, saw you in the park with Mirabell, and, I'm pery! I'll frippery the villain ; 'I'll reduce him to afraid, will discover it to my lady. frippery and rags : A tatterdemallion—I hope to Foi. Discover what, madam ! see him hung with tatters, like a Long-lane pent Mrs Fain. Nay, nay, put not on that strange house, or a gibbet thief : A slander-mouthed face. I am privy to the whole design, and know railer! I warrant the spendthrift prodigal is in that Waitwell, to whom thou wert this morning debt as much as the million lottery, or the whole married, is to personate Mirabell's uncle, and, as çourt upon a birth-day. I'll spoil his credit with such, winning my lady, to involve her in those




difficulties, from which Mirabell only must re- nerosity-he has not obliged me to that with lease her, by his making his conditions to have those excesses of himself; and now I'll have none my cousin, and her fortune, left to her own dis- of him. Here comes the good lady, panting ripe;

with a heart full of hope, and a head full of care, Foi. O, dear madam, I beg your pardon! It like any chemist upon the day of projection. was not my confidence in your ladyship, that was deficient; but, I thought the former good cor

Enter LADY WISH FORT. respondence between your ladyship and Mr Mirabell might have hindered his communicating this Lady M'ish. O dear Marwood, what shall I say

for this rude forgetfulness ? But my dear friend Mrs Fain. Dear Foible, forget that.

is all goodness. Foi. O, dear madam, Mr Mirabell is such a Blrs Mur. No apologies, dear madam. I have sweet winning gentleman—But your ladyslip is been very well entertained. the pattern of generosity-Sweet lady, to be so Lady Wish. As I'm a person, I am in a very good! Mr Mirabell cannot chuse but be grateful. chaos to think I should so forget myself—But Í I find your ladyship has his heart still. Now, have such an olio of affairs, really' I know not madam, I can safely tell your ladyship our suc what to do-(Calls. Foible! I expect my necess. Mrs Marwood has told my lady; but, I phew, sir Wilfull,' every moment, too—Why, warrant, I managed myself. I turned it all for Foible-He means to travel for improvement. the better. I told my lady that Mr Mirabell Mrs Mar. Methinks sir Wilfull should rather railed at her. I laid horrid things to his charge, think of marrying, than travelling at his years. I l'll vow; and my lady is so incensed, that she'll hear he is turned of forty. be contracted to sir Rowland to-night, she says; Lady Wish. O, he's in less danger of being -I warrant I worked her up, that he may have spoiled by bis travels, I am against my nephew's her for asking for, as they say of a Welch mai- marrying too young. It will be time enough, denhead.

when he comes back, and has acquired discretion Mrs Fain. O rare Foible!

to chuse for himself. Foi. Madam, I beg your ladyship to acquaint Mrs Mar. Methinks Mrs Millamant and he Mr Mirabell of his success.

I'would be seen as would make a very tit match. He may travel aflittle as possible to speak to him; besides, I beterwards. 'Tis a thing very usual with young lieve madam Marwood watches me--She has a gentlemen. penchant; but, I know Mr Mirabell can't abide Lady Il'ish. I promise you I have thought on't her.--[Calls.}-John-re

-remove my lady's toilet. -And, since 'tis your jüdyment, I'll think on't Madam, your servant. My lady is so impatient, again. I assure you I will; I value your judgeI fear she'll come for me, if I stay.

ment extremely. On my word i'll propose it. Mrs Fain. I'll go with you up the back-stairs, [Enter FOIBLE.] Come, come, Foible-1 had forlest I should meet her.

[Ereunt. got my nephew will be here before dinner-I

must make haste. Enter Mrs Marwood, from the closet.

Foi. Mr Witwould and Mr Petulant are come

to dine with your ladyship. Mrs Mar. Indeed, Mrs Engine, is it thus with Ludy Wish. O dear, I can't


till I am you? Are you become a go-between of this im- dressed. Dear Marwood, shall I be free with portance? Yes, I shall watch you. Why, this you again, and beg you to entertain thein? 1'11 wench is the pass-partout, a very master-key to make all imaginable haste. Dear friend, excuse every body's strong-box. My friend Fainall, me. · [Exeunt LADY WISH FORT and Foible. have you carried it so swimmingly? I thought there was something in it; but it seems it is over

Enter Mrs MILLAMANT and MINCING. Your loathing is not from a want of appetite, then, but from a surfeit; else you could Mill. Sure, never any thing was so unbred as never be so cool to fall from a principal to be an that odious mao. Marwood, your servant. assistant: to procure for him! a pattern of ge MÍrs Mar. You have a colour; what's the matnerosity, that I confess. Well, Mr Fainall, you | ter? have met with your match. O man,


Mill. That horrid fellow, Petulant, has proman, woman! The devil's an ass! if I were a voked me into a flame-I have broke my fanpainter, I would draw him like an idiot, a drivel- Mincing, lend me yours—is not all the powder ler, with a bib and bells. Man should have his out of my hair? head and horns, and woman the rest of him. Mrs Mar. No. What has he done? Poor simple fiend ! Madam Marwood has a pen Mill. Nay, he has done nothing; he has only chant, but he can't abide her— Twere better for talked-Nay, he has said nothing, neither; but he him you had not been his confessor in that af- has contradicted every thing, that has been said. fair, without you could have kept his counsel For my part, I thought Witwould and he would closer. I shall not prove another pattern of ge- have quarrelled.

with you.


Min. I vow, mem, I thought once they would Mill. Ha? Dear creature, I ask your pardonhave fit.

I swear I did not mind you. Mill. Well, 'tis a lamentable thing, I swear,

Mrs Mar. Mr Mirabell, and you both, may that one has not the liberty of chusing one's ac think a thing impossible, when I tell him, by tellquaintance, as one does one's clothes.

ing you Mrs Mar. If we had that liberty, we should Mill. O dear! what? for 'tis the same thing, be as weary of one set of acquaintance, though if I hear it-Ha, ha, ha! never so good, as we are of one suit, though ne Mrs Mar. That I detest him; hate him, maver so fine. A fool and a Doily stuff would now dam. and then find days of grace, and be worn for va Mill. O madam! why, so do I–And yet the riety.

creature loves me; ha, ha, ha! How can one forMill. I could consent to wear them, if they bear laughing to think of it ?-I am a sybil, if I would wear alike; but fools never wear out am not amazed to think what he can see in me. They are such drap-de-berry things! without one I'll take my death, I think you are handsomercould give them to one's chambermaid, after a and within a year or two as young-If you could day or two.

but stay for me, I should overtake you--But that Mrs Mar. 'Twere better so, indeed. Or what cannot be---Well, that thought makes ine melanthink you of the play-house? A fine gay glossy cholic--Now I'll be sad. fool should be given there, like a new masking

Mrs Mar. Your merry note may be changed habit after the masquerade is over, and we have sooner than you

think. done with the disguise. For a fool's visit is al Mill. Do ye say so? Then, I'ın resolved I'll ways a disguise; and never admitted by a woman have a song to keep up my spirits. of wit, but to blind her affair with a lover of

Enter MinciNG. sense. If you would but appear bare-faced now, and own Mirabell, you might as easily put off Min. The gentlemen stay but to comb, maPetulant and Witwould, as your hood and scarf. dam; and will wait on you. And indeed 'tis time, for the town has found it:

Enter PETULANT and WITWOULD. the secret is grown too big for the pretence. Indeed, Millamant, you can no more conceal it, Mill. Is your animosity composed, gentlemen? than my lady Strammel can her face, that goodly Wit. Raillery, raillery, madam; we have no face, which, in defiance of her Rhenish-wine tea, animosity---We hit off a little wit now and then, will not be comprehended in a mask.

but no animosity--The falling-out of wits is like Mill. I'll take my death, Marwood, you are the falling-out of lovers--We agree in the main, more censorious than a decayed beauty, or a dis like treble and base. Ha, Petulant ! carded toast. Mincing, tell the men they may Pet. Ay, in the main---But when I have a hucome up. My aunt is not dressing here; their mour to contradictfolly is less provoking than your malice. [Erit Wit. Ay, when he has a liumour to contradict, MINCING.] The town has found it! what has it then I contradict, too. What, I know my cue. found? That Mirabell loves me, is no more a se Then we contradict one another like two battlecret, than it is a secret, that you discovered it to dores; for contradictions beget one another, like my aunt, or than the reason why you discovered Jews. it is a secret.

Pet. If he says black's black--If I have a huMrs Mar. You are nettled.

mour to say 'tis blue--Let

at pass---All's one Mill. You're mistaken. Ridiculous !

for that. If I have a humour to prove it, it inust Mrs Mar. Indeed, my dear, you'll tear another be granted. fan, if you don't mitigate those violent airs. Wit. Not positively must-But it may--it Mill

. Oh silly! Ha, ha, ha! I could laugh im- may. moderately. Poor Mirabell! His constancy to Pet. Yes, it positively must, upon proof posime has quite destroyed his complaisance for all tive. the world beside. I swear, I never enjoined it Wit. Ay, upon proof positive it must; but uphim, to be so coy-If I had the vanity to think on proof presumptive it only may. That's a lohe would obey ine, I would command him to gical distinction, now, madam. shew more gallantry. 'Tis hardly well-bred to be Mrs Mar. I perceive your debates are of imso particular on one hand, and so insensible on portance, and very learnedly handled. the other. But I despair to prevail, and so let Pet. Importance is one thing, and learning is him follow his own way. Ha, ha, ha! Pardon another ; but a debate's a debate, that I assert. me, dear creature, I must laugh, ha, ha, ha! Wil. Petulant's au enemy to learning; he rethough, I grant you, 'tis a little barbarous, ha, lies altogether on his parts. ha, ha!

Pet. No, I'm no enemy to learning; it hurts Mrs Mar. What pity 'tis, so much fine rail- not me. lery, and delivered with so significant gesture, Mrs Mar. That's a sign indeed 'tis no enemy should be so unhappily directed to miscarry! to you. Vol. II.

2 L

Pet. No, no, 'uis no enemy to any body, but Mrs Mur. Mr Witwould, your brother is not them that have it.

behind-hand in forgetfulness—I fancy he has forMill. Well, an illiterate man's my aversion. I got you, too. wonder at the impudence of an illiterate man, to Wit. I hope so—The deuce take him, that reoffer to make love.

members first, I say. Wit. That, I confess, I wonder at, too.

Sir Wil. Save you, gentleman and lady: Mill. Ah! to marry an ignorant! that can Mrs Mar. For shaine, Mr Witwould! why, hardly read or write.

won't you speak to him? And you, sir. Pet. Why should a man be any further from Wit. Petulant, speak. being married though he can't read, than he is Pet. And you, sir. from being hanged? The ordinary's paid for set

Sir Wil. No offence, I hope. ting the psalm, and the parish priest for reading

[Salutes Marwood. the ceremony. And for the rest which is to fol Mrs Mar. No sure, sir. low in both cases, a man may do it without book--- Wit. This is a vile dug, I see that already.-So all's one for that.

No offence! Ha, ha, ha! to him ; to hiin, PetuMill. D’ye hear the creature? Lord, here's | lant; smoke him. company! I'll be gone.

Pet. It seems as if you had come a journey, [Ereunt Millamant and Mincing. sir; hem, hem. [Surveying him round.

Sir Wil. Very likely, sir, that it may seem so. Enter Sir WilfuLL WITWOULD, in a riding

Pet. No offence, I hope, sir, dress, and Footman.

Sir Wil. May be not, sir; thereafter as 'tis Wit. In the name of Bartholomew and his fair, neant, sir. what have we here?

Wit. Smoke the boots, the boots ; Petulant, Mrs Mar. 'Tis your brother, I fancy. Don't the boots; ba, ha, ha! you know him?

Pet. Sir, I presume upon the information of Wit. Not I--Yes, I think it is he--I've almost your boots. forgot himn; I have not seen him since the revo Sir Wil. Why, 'tis like you may, sir: if you lution.

are not satisfied with the information of my Foot. Sir, my lady's dressing. Here's com boots, sir, if you will step to the stable, you may pany; if you please to walk in, in the inean inquire further of my horse, sir. time.

Pet. Your horse, sir! your horse is an ass, Sir Wil. Dressing! What, 'tis but morning sir ! here, I warrant, with you in London; we should Sir Wil. Do you speak by way of offence, sir? wount it towards afternoon in our parts, down in Mrs Mar. The gentleman's merry, that's all, Shropshire~-Wby, then, belike my aunt han't sir-S’life, we shall have a quarrel betwixt a dined yet---lla, friend?

horse and an ass, before they find one another Foot. Your aunt, sir?

You must not take any thing amiss from Sir Wil. My aunt, sir! yes, my aunt, sir, and your friends, sir. You are among your friends, your lady, sir; your lady is my aunt, sir---Why, here, though it may be you don't know itwhat, dost thou not know me, friend? Why, then, If I am not mistaken, you are sir Wilfull Witsend somebody hither, that does. How long hast would. thou lived with thy lady, fellow, ha?

Sir Wil. Right, lady; I am sir Wilfull WitFoot. A week, sir; longer than any in the would; so I write myself; no offence to any house, except my lady's woman.

body, I hope ; and nephew to the lady Wishfort Sir Wil. Why, then, belike thou dost not know of this mansion. thy lady, if thou seest her; ha, friend?

Mrs Mar. Don't you know this gentleman, Foot. Why, truly, sir, I cannot safely swear to sir? her face in a morning, before she is dressed. 'Tis Sir Wil. Hum! What, sure 'tis not-Yea, by'r like I may give a shrewd guess at her by this lady but'ris—'Sheart! I know not whether 'uis or ume.

no-Yea, but 'tis, by the wrekin. Brother AnSir Wil. Well, prithee, try what thou canst thony! what Tony, i'faith! what, dost thou not do; if thou canst not guess, inquire her out;- know me? By’r lady nor I thee, thou art so beladost hear, fellow and tell her, her nephew, Sir ced, and so beperiwigged—'Sheart! what dost Wilful Witwould, is in the house.

not speak? art thou o'erjoyed? Foot. I shall, sir.

Wit. 'Odso, brother, is it you? your servant, Sir Wil. Hold ye-hear me, friend; a word brother. with you in your car: Prithee, who are these Sir Wil. Your servant! why yours, sir. Your gallants ?

servant again—'Sheart, and your friend and serFoot. Really, sir, I cannot tell; there come so vant to that–And a--(puff) and a flap-dragon inany here, 'tis hard to know them all. [Erit. for your service, sir; and a hare's foot, and a

Sir Wil. Oons, this fellow knows less than a hare's scut for your service, sir ; an' you be se starling; I don't think a' knows his own name. cold and so courtly!


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