very same: Soup for breakfast, soup for dinner, soup for supper, and soup for breakfast again— But here's variety. I love the fair who freely gives her heart, LAMORCE appears at the door. As he runs towards her, four Bruvoes step in before her. He starts back. She comes, she comes-hum, hum-bitch-murdered, murdered to be sure! The cursed strumpet! To make me send away my servants-Nobody near me! These cut-throats always make sure work. What shall I do? I have but one way. Are these gentlemen your relations, madam? Lam. Yes, sir. Mr. Gentlemen, your most humble servant; sir, your most faithful; yours, sir, with all my heart; your most obedient-come, gentlemen, [Salutes all round.] please to sit-no ceremony; next the lady, pray sir. Lam. Well, sir, and how d'ye like my friends? [They all sit. Mir. O, madam, the most finished gentlemen! I was never more happy in good company in my life; I suppose, sir, you have travelled? 1 Bra. Yes, sir. Mir. Which way, may I presume? 1 Bra. In a western barge, sir. Mir. Ha, ha, ha! very pretty; facetious pretty gentleman! Lam. Ha, ha, ha! sir, you have got the prettiest ring upon your finger there— Mir. Ah! madam, 'tis at your service with all my heart. [Offering the ring. Lam. By no means, sir, a family-ring! [Takes it. Mir. No matter, madam. Seven hundred pound, by this light. [Aside. 2 Bra. Pray, sir, what's o'clock? Mir. Hum! sir, I have left my watch at home. 2 Bra. I thought I saw the string of it just now Mir. Ods my life, sir, I beg your pardon, here it is but it don't go. [Putting it up. Lam. O dear sir, an English watch! Tompion's, I presume? Mir. D'ye like it, madam-no ceremony'tis at your service with all my heart and soulTompion's! Hang ye. [Aside. 1 Bra. But, sir, above all things, I admire the fashion and make of your sword-hilt. Mir. I'm mighty glad you like it, sir. 1 Bra. Will you part with it, sir? Mir. Sir, I won't sell it. all Mir. No, gentlemen-but I'll bestow it with my heart. 1 Bra. O, sir, we shall rob you. [Offering it. Mir. That you do, I'll be sworn. [Aside.] I have another at home; pray, sir-Gentlemen, you're too modest; have I any thing else that you fancy?-Sir, will you do me a favour? [To the 1st Bravo.] I am extremely in love with that wig which you wear; will you do me the favour to change with me? 1 Bra. Look'e, sir, this is a family wig, and I would not part with it, but if you like itMir. Sir, your most humble servant. [They change wigs. 1 Bra. Madam, your most humble slave. [Goes up foppishly to the lady, salutes her. 2 Bra. The fellow's very liberal; shall we murder him? 1 Bra. What! Let him escape to hang us all! And I to lose my wig! no, no; I want but a handsome pretence to quarrel with him, for you know we must act like gentlemen. Here, some wine-[Wine here.] Sir, your good health. [Pulls MIRABELL by the nose. Mir. Oh! Sir, your most humble servant; a pleasant frolic enough, to drink a man's health, and pull him by the nose: ha, ha, ha! the pleasantest pretty-humoured gentleman! Lam. Help the gentleman to a glass. [MIRABELL drinks. 1 Bra. How d'ye like the wine, sir? Mir. Very good o' the kind, sir: But I tell ye what; I find we're all inclined to be frolicsome, and, e'gad, for my own part, I was never more disposed to be merry; let's make a night on't, ha! This wine is pretty, but I have such Burgundy at home! Look'e, gentlemen, let me send for half a dozen flasks of my Burgundy; I defy France to match it; 'twill make us all life, all air; pray, gentlemen. 2 Bra. Eh! Shall we have his Burgundy? 1 Bra. Yes, faith, we'll have all we can; here, call up the gentleman's servant-What think you, Lamorce? Lam. Yes, yes- -your servant is a foolish country boy, sir; he understands nothing but in he has made for me, and if he does it right, I'll you're never out of the way, 'cause there's no encourage him. such thing as a high road. Ori. The red Burgundy, sir. Mir. The red, marked a thousand; and be sure you make haste! Ori. I shall, sir. [Exit. 1 Bra. Sir, you were pleased to like my wig, have you any fancy for my coat?-Look'e, sir, it has served a great many honest gentlemen very faithfully. Mir. Not so faithfully, for I'm afraid it has got a scurvy trick of leaving all its masters in necessity. The insolence of these dogs is beyond their cruelty. Lam. You're melancholy, sir. [Aside. Mir. Only concerned, madam, that I should have no servant here but this little boy-he'll make some confounded blunder, I'll lay my life on't; I would not be disappointed of my wine for the universe. Lam. He'll do well enough, sir; but supper's ready, will you please to eat a bit, sir? Mir. O, madam, I never had a better stomach in my life. Lam. Come, then-we have nothing but a plate of soup. Mir. Ah! The marriage-soup I could dispense with now. [Aside.] [Exit, handing the lady. 2 Bra. That wig won't fall to your share. 1 Bra. No, no, we'll settle that after supper; in the mean time, the gentleman shall wear it. 2 Bra. Shall we dispatch him? 3 Bra. To be sure. I think he knows me. 1 Bra. Ay, ay, dead men tell no tales; I wonder at the impudence of the English rogues, that will hazard the meeting a man at the bar, whom they have encountered upon the road! I han't the confidence to look a man in the face, after I have done him an injury; therefore, we'll murder him. [Exeunt. SCENE III.-Changes to OLD MIRABELL'S house. Enter DUREtete. Bis. Rather always in a high road, 'cause you travel all upon hills; but, be it as it will, I'll jog along with you. Dur. But we intend to sail to the East Indies. Bis. East or west, 'tis all one to me; I'm tight and light, and the fitter for sailing. Dur. But suppose we take through Germany, and drink hard? Bis. Suppose I take through Germany, and drink harder than you? Dur. Suppose I go to a bawdy-house? Bis. Allons donc ! Dur. The devil's in the woman! suppose I hang myself? Bis. There I'll leave you. Dur. And a happy riddance; the gallows is welcome. Bis. Hold, hold, sir.-[Catches him by the arm going.]-one word before we part. Dur. Let me go, madam, or I shall think that you're a man, and perhaps may examine you. Bis. Stir, if you dare; I have still spirits to attend me; and can raise such a muster of fairies, as shall punish you to death-come, sir, stand there, now, and ogle me :-[He frowns upon her.} -Now a languishing sigh !-[He groans.]-Now run and take up my fan,-faster.-[He runs and takes it up.1-Now play with it handsomely. Dur. Aye, aye. [He tears it all in pieces. Bis. Hold, hold, dear humourous coxcomb; captain, spare my fan, and I'll-why, you rude, inhuman monster, don't you expect to pay for this? Dur. Yes, madam, there's twelve-pence; for that is the price on't. Bis. Sir, it cost a guinea. Dur. Well, madam, you shall have the sticks again. [Throws them to her, and exit. Bis. Ha, ha, ha! ridiculous below my concern. I must follow him, however, to know if Dur. My friend has forsaken me, I have abandoned my mistress, my time lies heavy upon my hands, and my money burns in my pocket- he can give me any news of Oriana. But, now I think on't, ny myrmidons are upon duty to-night; I'll fairly stroll down to the guard, and nod away the night with my honest lieutenant over a flask of wine, a rake-helly story, and a pipe of tobacco. Going off, BISSARRE meets him. Bis. Who comes there? stand! Bis. Wales! what country's that? [Erit. SCENE IV. Changes to LAMORCE's lodgings. Enter MIRABELL, solus. Mir. Bloody hell-hounds! I overheard you: was not I two hours ago the happy, gay, rejoicing Mirabell? How did I plume my hopes in a faircoming prospect of a long scene of years? Life courted me with all the charms of vigour, youth, and fortune; and to be torn away from all my promised joys is more than death; the manner, too-by villains! Oh, my Oriana, this very mo Dur. The land of mountains, child, where ment might have blessed me in thy arms, and my poor boy! The innocent boy! Confusion! But hush, they come : I must dissemble still-no news of my wine, gentlemen? Enter the four Bravoes. 1 Bra. No, sir, I believe your country-booby has lost himself, and we can wait no longer for't true, sir, you're a pleasant gentleman, but I suppose you understand our business. Mir. Sir, I may go near to guess at your employments; you, sir, are a lawyer, I presume; you a physician; you a scrivener; and you a stock-jobber. All cut-throats, 'egad! [Aside. 4 Bra. Sir, I am a broken officer; I was cashiered at the head of the army for a coward: so, I took up the trade of murderer to retrieve the reputation of my courage. 3 Bru. I am a soldier, too, and would serve my king, but I don't like the quarrel; and I have more honour than to fight in a bad cause. 2 Bra. I was bred a gentleman, and have no estate; but I must have my whore and my bottle, through the prejudice of education. 1 Bra. I am a rufian, too; by the prejudice of education, I was bred a butcher. In short, sir, if your wine had come, we might have trifled a little longer. Come, sir, which sword will you fall by mine, sir? 2 Bra. Or mine? 3 Bra. Or mine? 4 Bra. Or mine? [Draws. Enter DURETETE with his sword drawn, and sir : heart-Ad's my life, madam, you have got the finest built watch there? Tompion's, I presume. Lam. Sir, you may wear it. Mir. Oh, madam, by no means: 'tis too much -rob you of all!-[Taking it from her.]-Good dear time, thou'rt a precious thing! I am glad I have retrieved thee-Putting it up.]-What, my friends, neglected all this while! Gentlemen, you'll pardon my complaisance to the lady. How now-is it civil to be so out of humour at my entertainment, and I so pleased with yours? Captain, you're surprised at all this! but we're in our frolics, you must know. Some wine here. Enter servant with wine. Come, captain, this worthy gentleman's health. 1 Bra. I hope some of our crew below-stairs have dispatched him. Mir. Villain, what say'st thou? I'll have ye all tortured, racked, alive, if you have touched my boy. page! page! Dispatched! torn to pieces Here, page! [Runs out. Dur. Here, gentlemen, be sure you secure those fellows. 1 Bra. Yes, sir, we know you and your guard will be very civil to us. Dur. Now for you, madam. He, he, he! I'm so pleased to think that I shall be revenged of one woman before I die-well, Mrs Snap-Dragon, which of these honourable gentlemen is so happy to call you a wife? 1 Bra. Sir, she should have been mine tonight, 'cause Sampre here had her last night. Sir, she's very true to us all four. Dug. Take them to justice. [The guards carry off the Bravoes. Old Mir. Robin, Robin, where's Bob? where's my boy? what, is this the lady? a pretty whore, faith! heark'e, child, because my son was so civil as to oblige you with a coach, I'll treat you with a cart; indeed I will. of the grand musqueteers, with their pieces Enter OLD MIRABELL, DUGARD, and Bisarre. presented; the ruffians drop their swords. [ORIANA goes off Mir. The wine! the wine! the wine! Youth, pleasure, fortune, days, and years, are now my own again. Ah, my dear friends, did not I tell you this wine would make me merry? Dear captain, these gentlemen are the best-natured, facetious, witty creatures, that ever you knew. Enter LAMORCE. Lam. Is the wine come, sir! Mir. O yes, madam, the wine is come- -see there![Pointing to the soldiers.]-Your ladyship has got a very fine ring upon your finger. Lam. Sir, 'tis at your service. Dug. Aye, madam, and you shall have a swinging equipage, three or four thousand footmen at your heels at least. Dur. No less becomes her quality. Dur. Monster! aye, you're all a little monstrous, let me tell you. Mir. O ho! is it so? thou dear seven hundred Mir. No, no, sir, I'm ruined; the saver of my pound, thou'rt welcome home again, with all my life is lost. Old Mir. No, he came and brought us the news. Mir. But where is he? server Enter ORIANA. Ha! [Runs and embraces her.]—My dear prewhat shall I do to recompense your trust? Father, friends, gentlemen, behold the youth, that has relieved me from the most ignominious death, from the scandalous poniards of these bloody ruffians, where to have fallen would have defamed my memory with vile reproach.My life, estate, my all, is due to such a favourcommand me, child; before you all, before my late so kind indulgent stars, I swear to grant whate'er you ask. Ori. To the same stars, indulgent now to me, I will appeal as to the justice of my claim; I shall demand but what was mine before-the just performance of your contract to Oriana. [Discovering herself. Om. Oriana! Ori. In this disguise, I resolved to follow you abroad; counterfeited that letter, that got me into your service; and so, by this strange turn of fate, I became the instrument of your preservation. Few common servants would have had such cunning; my love inspired me with the meaning of your message, because my concern for your safety made me suspect your company. Dur. Mirabell, you're caught. Mir. Caught! I scorn the thought of imposition; the tricks and artful cnnning of the sex I have despised, and broke through all contrivance. Caught! no, 'tis my voluntary act; this was no human stratagem; but by my providential stars designed to shew the dangers wandering youth incurs by the pursuit of an unlawful love, to plunge me headlong in the snares of vice, and then to free me by the hands of virtue: here, on my knees, I humbly beg my fair preserver's par don; my thanks are needless, for myself I owe. And now, for ever, do protest me yours. Old Mir. Tall, all di dall.-[Sings.]-Kiss me, daughter-no, you shall kiss me first-[To LaMORCE] for you're the cause on't. Well, Bisarre, what say you to the captain? Bis. I like the beast well enough, but I don't understand his paces so well, as to endanger him in a strange road. Old Mir. But marriage is so beaten a path, you can't go wrong. that Bis. Aye, 'tis so beaten, that the way is spoiled. Dur. There is but one thing should make me thy husband-I could marry thee to-day, for the privilege of beating thee to-morrow. Old Mir. Come, come, you may agree for all Mr Dugard, are not you pleased with this. this? Dug. So pleased, that if I thought it might se cure your son's affection to my sister, I would double her fortune. Mir. Fortune! has she not given me mine? my life, estate, my all, and, what is more, her virtuous self? Virtue, in this so advantageous life, has her own sparkling charms, more tempting far than glittering gold or glory. Behold the foil-[Pointing to LAMORCE-that sets this brightness off!-[TO ORIANA.]--Here view the pride-[To ORIANA]—and scandal of the sex.— To LAMORCE]-There-[To LAMORCE.]-the false meteor, whose deluding light leads mankind to destruction; here [To ORIANA-the bright shining star, that guides to a security of happiness; a garden, and a single she-[TO ORIANA] -was our first father's bliss; the tempter-[To LAMORCE.]—and to wander was his curse. What liberty can be so tempting there? [TO LAMORCE. As a soft, virtuous, am'rous bondage here? [TO ORIANA. [Exeunt omnes. SCENE I.-An Inn in Madrid. ACT. I. Enter TRAPPANTI, alone, talking to himself. INDEED, my friend Trappanti, thou'rt in a very thin condition; thou hast neither master, meat, nor money: not but, couldst thou part with that unappeaseable itch of eating, too, thou hast all the ragged virtues that were requisite to set up an ancient philosopher: contempt and poverty, kicks, thumps, and thinking, thou hast endured with the best of them; but-when fortune turns thee up to hard fasting, that is to say, positively not eating at all, I perceive thou art a downright dunce, with the same stomach, and no more philosophy, than a hound upon horse-flesh-Fasting's the devil!-Let me see-this, I take it, is the most frequented inn about Madrid, and if a keen guest or two should drop in now-Hark! Host. [Within.] Take care of the gentlemen's horses there; see them well rubbed and littered. Trap. Just alighted! if they do but stay to eat now! Impudence assist me. Ha! a couple of pretty young sparks, faith! VOL. II. Enter HYPOLITA and FLORA in men's habits, a Servant with a portmanteau. Trap. Welcome to Madrid, sir; welcome, sir! Flo. Sir, your servant! Ser. Have the horses pleased your honour? Hyp. Very well indeed, friend. Prithee, set down the portmanteau, and see that the poor creatures want nothing: they have performed well, and deserve our care. Trap. I'll take care of that, sir. Here, ostler! [Exeunt TRAP. and Servant. Flo. And pray, madam, what do I deserve, that have lost the use of my limbs to keep pace with you? 'Sheart! you whipped and spurred like a foxhunter: its a sign you had a lover in view : I'm sure my shoulders ache as if I had carried my horse on them. Hyp. Poor Flora! thou art fatigued indeed! but I shall find a way to thank thee for't. Flo. Thank me, quotha! Egad, I shan't be able to sit this fortnight. Well, I'm glad our journey's at an end, however; and now, madam, 3 A |