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D. Man. Come, gentlemen, now our collation From thine the fair their favours may iniwaits.
To the quick pains you give our joys we owe, Enter Seroant.
Till those we feel, these we can never know.
But warned with honest hope from my suoSer. Sir, the priest's come.
cess, D. Man. That's well; we'll dispatch him pre Even in the height of all its miseries, sently,
Oh, never let a virtuous mind despair, D. Phi. Now, my Hypolita,
For constant hearts are love's peculiar care. Let our example teach mankind to love,
SCENE I.—Sir CHARLES Easy's lodgings.
Enter EDGING, hastily.
Edg. O madam!
Lady Easy. What's the matter? Lady Easy. Was ever woman's spirit, by an Edg. I have the strangest thing to shew your injurious husband, broke like mine? A vile licen- ladyship-such a discovery tious man! must he bring home his follies, too? Lady Easy. You are resolved to make it withe Wrong me with my very servant! 0! how te out much ceremony, I find. What's the business, dious a relief is patience! and yet, in my condi- pray? tion, 'tis the only remedy: for to reproach him Edg. The business, madam! I have not pawith my wrongs, is taking on myself the means of tience to tell you; I am out of breath at the very a redress, bidding defiance to his falsehood, and thoughts on't; I shall not be able to speak this naturally but provokes him to undo me. The half hour. uneasy thought of my continual jealousy may Lady Easy. Not to the purpose, I believe ! teaze him to a fixed aversion; and hitherto, but, methinks, you talk impertinently with a greak though he neglects, I cannot think he hates me. deal of ease. It must be so: since I want power to please him, Edg. Nay, madam, perhaps not so impertinent he never shall upbraid me with an attempt of as your ladyship thinks; there is that will speak making him uneasy-My eyes and tongue shall to the purpose, I am sure-A base man yet be blind and silent to my wrongs; nor would
(Gives a letter. Í have him think my virtue could suspect him, Lady Easy. What is this? An open letter ! ull, by somne gross, apparent proof of his mis- Whence comes it? doing, he forces me to see-and to forgive it. Edg. Nay, read it, madam; you will soon
guess—If these are the tricks of husbands, keep qualities gave me any concern. In my ere, the me a maid still, say I.
woman has no more charms than my mother. Lady Easy. (Looking on the superscription.) Edg: Hum! he takes no notice of me yet, To Sir Charles Easy! Ha! Too well I know this i'll let him see I can take as little notice of him. bateful hand. O my heart ! but I must veil my [She walks by him gravely; he turns her about jealousy, which 'tis not fit this creature should and holds her; she struggles.] Pray, sir ! suppose I am acquainted with. (Aside.] This di Sir Cha. A pretty pert air, that I'll humour rection is to your master; how came you by it? it-What's the matter, child? Are not you well!
Edg. Why, madam, as my master was lying Kiss me, hussy. down, after he came in from hunting, he sent me Edg. No, the deuce fetch me if I do! into his dressing-room, to fetch his snuff-box out Sir Cha. Has any thing put thee out of huof his waistcoat pocket; and so, as I was search- mour, love? ing for the box, madam, there I found this wicked Edg. No, sir, 'tis not worth my being out of letter from a mistress; which I had no sooner humnour at—though, if ever you have any thing read, but, I declare it, my very blood rose at hiin to say to me again, I'll be burned. again; methought I could have torn hiin and Sir Cha. Somebody has belied me to thee. her to pieces.
Edg. No, sir, 'tis you have belied yourself to Lady Easy. Intolerable! This odious thing's me- - Did not I ask you, when you first made a jealous of him herself, and wants me to join with fool of me, if you would be always constant to her in a revenge upon him-Sure I am fallen, in- me? and did not you say, I might be sure you deed! But 'twere to make me lower yct, to let would? And here, instead of that, you are going her think I understand her.
[Aside. on in your old intrigue with my larly Graveairs. Edg. Nay, pray, madam, read it; you will be Sir Cha. Soout of patience at it.
Edg. Beside, don't you suffer my lady to huff me Lady Easy. You are bold, mistress; has my every day as if I were her dog, or had no more indulgence, or your master's good humour, fat- concern with you—I declare I won't bear it, and tered you
into the assurance of reading his let- she shan't think to huff me—for aught I know, ters? a liberty I never gave myself--llere-lay | I am as agreeable as she : and though she dares, it where you had it immediately-Should he know not take any notice of your baseness to her, you of your sauciness, 'twould not be my favour could shan't think to use me so—and so, pray, take protect you.
[Exit Lady Easy. your nasty letter-I know the hand well enougl Edg. Your favour! marry come up! sure I -for my part, I won't stay in the family to be don't depend upon your favour! It's not come to abused at this rate: I that have refused lords that, I hope. Poor creature!-don't you think I am and dukes for your sake. I'd have you to know, my master's mistress for nothing-You shall find, sir, I have had as many blue and green ribbons madam, I won't be snapt up as I have been-Not after me, for aught I know, as would have made but it vexes me to think she should not be as un
me a falbala apron. easy as I. I am sure he is a base man to me, Sir Cha. My lady Graveairs ! my nasty letter! and I could cry my eyes out that she should not and I won't stay in the family! Death! I'm in a think hiin as bad to her every jot. If I am pretty condition !-What an unlimited privilege wronged, sure she inay very well expect it, that has this jade got from being a whore ! is but his wife-A conceited thing--she need not Edg. I suppose, sir, you think to use every be so easy, neither-I am as handsome as she, I body as you do your wife. hope-Here's my master-I'll try whether I am Sir Cha. My wife! hah! Come hither, Mrs to be huffed by her or no. [Ialks behind. Edging; hark you, drab.
Seizing her by the shoulder. Enter Sir CHARLES EASY.
Sir Cha. When you speak of my wife, you are Sir Cha. So ! The day is come again !-Life to say your lady, and you are never to speak of but rises to another stage, and the same dull jour- your lady to me in any regard of her being my ney is before us. How like chi'dren do we judge wife--for, look you, child, you are not her strumof happiness! When I was stinted in my fortune, pet, but mine; therefore, I only give you leave to almost every thing was a pleasure to me, because be saucy with me. In the next place, you are nemost things then being out of my reach, I had al- ver to suppose there is any such person as my ways the pleasure of hoping for thein; now, for- lady Graveairs; and lastly, my pretty one, how tune's in my hand, she is as insipid as an old ac came you by this letter? quaintance--It is mighty silly faith! Just the Edg. It's no matter, perhaps. same thing by my wife, too; I am told she is ex Sir Cha. Aye, but if you should not tell me tremely handsome-nay, and have heard a great quickly, how are you sure I won't take a great many people say, she is certainly the best woman piece of flesh out of your shoulder ?-My dear. in the world—Why, I don't know but she may;
[Shakes her. yet I could never tind that her person or good Edg. O lud ! O lud! I will tell you, sir.
pose you had ?
Sir Cha. Quickly then.
Lady Easy. Why should you question it? Edg. Oh! I took it out of your pocket, sir.
[Smiling on him. Sir Cha. When?
Sir Cha. Because I fancy I am not so good to Edg. Oh! this moruing, when you sent me for you as I should be. your spuff-box.
Lady Easy. Pshaw ! Sir Cha. And your ladyship's pretty curiosity Sir Cha. Nay, the deuce take me if I don't has looked it over, I presume---ha?
really confess myself so bad, that I have often
(Shakes her again. wondered how any woman of your sense, rank, Edg. O lud! dear sir, don't be angry-indeed and person, could think it worth her while to I'll never touch one again.
have so many useless good qualities. Sir Cha. I don't believe you will, and I'll tell Lady Easy. Fie, my dear! you how you shall be sure you never will.
Sir Cha. By my soul, I am serious ! Edg. Yes, sir.
Lady Easy. I cannot boast of my good qualiSir Cha. By stedfastly believing, that the next ties, nor, if I could, do I believe you think them time you offer it,
your pretty white useless. neck twisted behind you.
Sir Cha. Nay, I submit to you—Don't you Edg. Yes, sir.
[Curt'sying. find them so ? Do you perceive that I am one Sir Cha. And you will be sure to remember tittle the better husband for your being so good every thing I have said to you?
a wife? Edg. Yes, sir.
Ludy Easy. Pshaw! you jest with me. Sir Chu. And now, child, I was not angry with Sir Cha. Upon my life I don't--Tell me your person, bnt your follies; which, since I truly, was you never jealous of me? find you are a little sensible of—don't be wholly Lady Easy. Did I ever give you any sign of discouraged for I believe I-I shall have occa- it? sion for you again
Sir Cha. Um—that's true—but do you really Edg. Yes, sir.
think I never gave you occasion? Sir Cha. In the mean time, let me hear no Lady Easy. That's an odd question—but sup more of your lady, child. Edg. No, sir.
Sir Cha. Why then, what good has your virSir Cha. Here she comes: begone!
tue done you, since all the good qualities of it Edg. Yes, sir-Oh! I was never so frightened could not keep me to yourself? in my life.
Erit. Lady Easy. What occasion have you given Sir Cha. So ! good discipline makes good me to suppose I have not kept you to myself? soldiers-It often puzzles me to think, from Sir Chu. I given you occasion-Fie! My my own carelessness, and my wife's continual dear—you may be sure—I-look you, that is not good humour, whether she really knows any the thing, but still a—(death! what a blunder thing of the strength of my forces—I'll sift her a have I made ?)-a-still, I say, madam, you little.
shan't make me believe you have never been
jealous of me; not that you ever had any real Enter LADY Easy.
cause, but I know women of your principles
have more pride than those that have no prin My dear, how do you do? You are dressed very ciples at all; and where there is pride, there early to-day: are you going out?
must be some jealousy--so that, if you are Lady Easy. Only to church, my dear, jealous, my dear, you know you wrong me, Sir Cha. Is it so late, then?
andLady Easy. The bell has just rung.
Lady Easy. Why, then, upon my word, my Sir Cha. Well, child, how does Windsor air dear, I don't know that ever I wronged you that agree with you? Do you find yourself any better way in my life. yet? or have you a mind to go to London again? Sir Cha. But suppose I had given a real cause
Lady Easy. No, indeed, my dear ; the air is so to be jealous, how would you do then ? very pleasant, that if it were a place of less Lady Easy. It must be a very substantial one company, I could be content to end my days that makes me jealous. here.
Sir Chu. Say it were a substantial one; sup Sir Cha. Prithee, my dear, what sort of cam pose, now, I were well with a woman of pany would most please you?
acquaintance, that, under pretence of frequent Lady Easy. When business would permit it, visits to you, should only come to carry on an yours; and, in your absence, a sincere freind, that affair with me--suppose, now, my lady Graveairs were truly happy in an honest husband, to sit a and I were great ? cheerful hour, and talk in mutual praise of our Lady Easy. Would I could not suppose it! condition.
[ Aside. Sir Cha. Are you then really very happy, my Sir Cha. If I come off here, I believe I am dear?
pretty safe. [dside.)-Suppose, I say, my lady
Graveairs and I were so very familiar, that not notice of my lord's being in town. only yourself, but half the town should see it? Lady Easy. Very well! if I should not meet
Lady Easy. Then I should cry myself sick in her there, I'll call at her lodgings. some dark closet, and forget my tears when you Sir Cha. Do so. spoke kindly to me.
Lady Easy. My dear, your servant. Sir Cha. The most convenient piece of virtue,
(Erit Lady Easy. sure, that ever wife was mistress of. Aside. Sir Cha. My dear, I'm yours.
-Well! Lady Easy. But pray, my dear, did you ever one way or other, this woman will certainly bring think that I had any ill thoughts of my lady about her business with me at last ; for though Graveairs?
she cannot make me happy in her own person, Sir Cha. O fie, child! only you know she and she lets ine be so intolerably easy with the woI used to be a little free sometimes; so I had a men that can, that she has at least brought mind to see if you thought there was any harm me into a fair way of being as weary of them, in it; but since I find you very easy, I think myself too. obliged to tell you, that, upon my soul, my dear, I have so little regard to her person, that the Enter Servant and LORD MORELOVE. deuce take me, if I would not as soon have an affair with thy woman.
Ser. Sir, my lord's come. Lady Easy. Indeed, my dear, I should as soon Lord Mor. Dear Charles ! suspect you with one as t'other.
Sir Cha. My dear lord ! this is an happiness Sir Cha. Poor dear-should'st thou-give me undreamt of ; I little thought to have seen you a kiss.
at Windsor again this season! I concluded, of Lady Easy. Pshaw ! you don't care to kiss course, that books and solitude had secured you
'till winter. Sir Cha. By my soul, I do! I wish I Lord Mor. Nay, I did not think of coming may die, if I don't think you a very fine woman! myself, but I found myself not very well in Lon
Lady Easy. I only wish you would think me don; so I thought-a-little hunting, and this a good wife. [Kisses her.] But pray, my dear, airwhat has made you so strangely inquisitive?
Sir Cha. Ha! ha! ha! Sir Cha. Inquisitive !-Why--a--I don't know, Lord Mor. What do you laugh at? one is always saying one foolish thing or another Sir Cha. Only because you should not go on -Toll le roll!' (Sings and talks.] My dear, with your story: if you did but see how silly a what! are we never to have any ball here! man fumbles for an excuse, when he is a little · Toll le roll! I fancy I could recover my dan- ashamed of being in love, you would not wonder cing again, if I would but practise. Toll loll what I laugh at; ha, ha, ha! loll!
Lord Mor. Thou art a very happy fellowLady Easy. This excess of carelessness to me nothing touches thee--always easy—Then you excuses half his vices. If I can make him once conclude I follow lady Betty again? think seriously—Time yet inay be my friend. Sir Cha. Yes, faith do I: and, to make you
easy, my lord, I cannot see why a man, that can Enter a Servant.
ride fifty miles after a poor stag, should be ashamSer. Sir, lord Morelove gives his service ed of running twenty in chase of a fine woman, Sir Cha. Lord Morelove? where is he? that, in all probability, will show him so much Ser. At the Chocolate-house; he called me the better sport, tov.
[Embracing. to him as I went by, and bid me tell your hon Lord Mor. Dear Charles, don't flatter my disour he'll wait upon you presently.
temper; I own I still follow her: do you think Lady Easy. I thought you had not expected her charms have power to excuse me to the him here again this season, my dear.
world? Sir Cha. I thought so, too; but you see there's Sir Cha. Aye! aye! a fine woman's an excuse no depending upon the resolution of a man that's for any thing, and the scandal of our being in in love.
jest, is a jest itself; we are all forced to be Lady Easy. Is there a chair?
their fools, before we can be their favourites. Ser. Yes, madam.
[Erit Servant. Lord Mor. You are willing to give me hope; Lady Easy. I suppose lady Betty Modish has but I can't believe she has the least degree of indrawn him hither.
clination for me. Sir Cha. Aye, poor soul, for all his bravery, Sir Cha. I don't know that I am sure her I am afraid so.
pride likes you, and that's generally your fine Lady Easy. Well, my dear, I ha’nt time to ask ladies' darling passion. my lord how he does now; you'll excuse me to Lord Mor. Do you suppose, if I could grow him, but I hope you'll make him dine with us. indifferent, it would touch her?
Sir Cha. I'll ask him. If you see lady Betty Sir Cha. Sting her to the heart--Wil you at prayers, make her dine, too; but don't take