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Sir Cha. Quickly then.

Edg. Oh! I took it out of your pocket, sir.
Sir Cha. When?

Edg. Oh! this morning, when you sent me for your snuff-box.

Sir Cha. And your ladyship's pretty curiosity has looked it over, I presume-ha?

[Shakes her again. Edg. O lud! dear sir, don't be angry--indeed I'll never touch one again.

Sir Cha. I don't believe you will, and I'll tell you how you shall be sure you never will. Edg. Yes, sir.

Sir Cha. By stedfastly believing, that the next time you offer it, you will have your pretty white neck twisted behind you.

Edg. Yes, sir.

[Curt'sying. Sir Cha. And you will be sure to remember every thing I have said to you?

Edg. Yes, sir.

Sir Cha. And now, child, I was not angry with your person, bnt your follies; which, since I find you are a little sensible of-don't be wholly discouraged for I believe I-I shall have occasion for you again

Edg. Yes, sir.

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Lady Easy. Pshaw!

Sir Cha. Nay, the deuce take me if I don't really confess myself so bad, that I have often wondered how any woman of your sense, rank, and person, could think it worth her while to have so many useless good qualities. Lady Easy. Fie, my dear!

Sir Cha. By my soul, I am serious!

Lady Easy. I cannot boast of my good quali ties, nor, if I could, do I believe you think them useless.

Sir Cha. Nay, I submit to you-Don't you find them so? Do you perceive that I am one tittle the better husband for your being so good a wife?

Lady Easy. Pshaw! you jest with me. Sir Cha. Upon my life I don't--Tell me truly, was you never jealous of me?

it?

Lady Easy. Did I ever give you any sign of

Sir Cha. Um-that's true-but do you really think I never gave you occasion?

Lady Easy. That's an odd question-but suppose you had?

Sir Cha. Why then, what good has your virtue done you, since all the good qualities of it could not keep me to yourself?

Lady Easy. What occasion have you given me to suppose I have not kept you to myself?

Sir Cha. I given you occasion-Fie! My dear-you may be sure-I-look you, that is not the thing, but still a-(death! what a blunder have I made ?)-a-still, I say, madam, you shan't make me believe you have never been jealous of me; not that you ever had any real cause, but I know women of your principles have more pride than those that have no prin

My dear, how do you do? You are dressed very ciples at all; and where there is pride, there early to-day: are you going out?

Lady Easy. Only to church, my dear.
Sir Cha. Is it so late, then?
Lady Easy. The bell has just rung.

Sir Cha. Well, child, how does Windsor air agree with you? Do you find yourself any better yet? or have you a mind to go to London again? Lady Easy. No, indeed, my dear; the air is so very pleasant, that if it were a place of less company, I could be content to end my days

here.

Sir Cha. Prithee, my dear, what sort of campany would most please you?

Lady Easy. When business would permit it, yours; and, in your absence, a sincere freind, that were truly happy in an honest husband, to sit a cheerful hour, and talk in mutual praise of our condition.

Sir Cha. Are you then really very happy, my dear?

must be some jealousy—so that, if you are jealous, my dear, you know you wrong me,

and

Lady Easy. Why, then, upon my word, my dear, I don't know that ever I wronged you that way in my life.

Sir Cha. But suppose I had given a real cause to be jealous, how would you do then?

Lady Easy. It must be a very substantial one that makes me jealous.

Sir Chu. Say it were a substantial one; suppose, now, I were well with a woman of your own acquaintance, that, under pretence of frequent visits to you, should only come to carry on an affair with me-suppose, now, my lady Graveairs and I were great?

Lady Easy. Would I could not suppose it!

[Aside.

Sir Cha. If I come off here, I believe I am pretty safe. [Aside.]-Suppose, I say, my lady

Graveairs and I were so very familiar, that not only yourself, but half the town should see it? Lady Easy. Then I should cry myself sick in some dark closet, and forget my tears when you spoke kindly to me.

Sir Cha. The most convenient piece of virtue, sure, that ever wife was mistress of. [Aside. Lady Easy. But pray, my dear, did you ever think that I had any ill thoughts of my lady Graveairs?

Sir Cha. O fie, child! only you know she and I used to be a little free sometimes; so I had a mind to see if you thought there was any harm in it; but since I find you very easy, I think myself obliged to tell you, that, upon my soul, my dear, I have so little regard to her person, that the deuce take me, if I would not as soon have an affair with thy woman.

Lady Easy. Indeed, my dear, I should as soon suspect you with one as t'other.

Sir Cha. Poor dear-should'st thou-give me a kiss.

me.

Lady Easy. Pshaw! you don't care to kiss

Sir Cha. By my soul, I do! I wish I may die, if I don't think you a very fine woman! Lady Easy. I only wish you would think me a good wife. [Kisses her.] But pray, my dear, what has made you so strangely inquisitive?

Sir Cha. Inquisitive !-Why--a-I don't know, one is always saying one foolish thing or another -Toll le roll! [Sings and talks.] My dear, what! are we never to have any ball here! Toll le roll! I fancy I could recover my dancing again, if I would but practise. Toll loll loll!

Lady Easy. This excess of carelessness to me excuses half his vices. If I can make him once think seriously-Time yet may be my friend. Enter a Servant.

Ser. Sir, lord Morelove gives his serviceSir Cha. Lord Morelove? where is he? Ser. At the Chocolate-house; he called me to him as I went by, and bid me tell your honour he'll wait upon you presently.

Lady Easy. I thought you had not expected him here again this season, my dear.

Sir Cha. I thought so, too; but you see there's no depending upon the resolution of a man that's in love.

Lady Easy. Is there a chair?
Ser. Yes, madam.

[Exit Servant. Lady Easy. I suppose lady Betty Modish has

drawn him hither.

Sir Cha. Aye, poor soul, for all his bravery, I am afraid so.

Lady Easy. Well, my dear, I ha'nt time to ask my lord how he does now; you'll excuse me to him, but I hope you'll make him dine with us.

Sir Cha. I'll ask him. If you see lady Betty at prayers, make her dine, too; but don't take any

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Ser. Sir, my lord's come.

Lord Mor. Dear Charles!

Sir Cha. My dear lord! this is an happiness undreamt of; I little thought to have seen you at Windsor again this season! I concluded, of course, that books and solitude had secured you 'till winter.

Lord Mor. Nay, I did not think of coming myself, but I found myself not very well in London; so I thought-a-little hunting, and this air

Sir Cha. Ha! ha! ha!

Lord Mor. What do you laugh at?

Sir Cha. Only because you should not go on with your story: if you did but see how silly a man fumbles for an excuse, when he is a little ashamed of being in love, you would not wonder what I laugh at; ha, ha, ha!

Lord Mor. Thou art a very happy fellownothing touches thee-always easy-Then you conclude I follow lady Betty again?

Sir Cha. Yes, faith do I: and, to make you easy, my lord, I cannot see why a man, that can ride fifty miles after a poor stag, should be ashamed of running twenty in chase of a fine woman, that, in all probability, will show him so much the better sport, too. [Embracing.

Lord Mor. Dear Charles, don't flatter my distemper; I own I still follow her: do you think her charms have power to excuse me to the

world?

Sir Cha. Aye! aye! a fine woman's an excuse for any thing, and the scandal of our being in jest, is a jest itself; we are all forced to be their fools, before we can be their favourites.

Lord Mor. You are willing to give me hope; but I can't believe she has the least degree of inclination for me.

Sir Cha. I don't know that-I am sure her pride likes you, and that's generally your fine ladies' darling passion.

Lord Mor. Do you suppose, if I could grow indifferent, it would touch her?

Sir Cha. Sting her to the heart-Will you take my advice?

Had

Lord Mor. I have no relief but that. I not thee now and then to talk an hour, my life were insupportable.

Sir Cha. I am sorry for that, my lord;-but mind what I say to you but hold, first let me know the particulars of your quarrel with her.

Lord Mor. Why--about three weeks ago, when I was last here at Windsor, she had for some days treated me with a little more reserve, and another with more freedom, than I found myself easy at.

Sir Cha. Who was that other?

Lord Mor. One of my lord Foppington's gang the pert coxcomb that's just come to a small estate and a great periwig-he that sings himself among the women- -What do you call him?--He won't speak to a commoner when a lord is in company-you always see him with a cane dangling at his button, his breast open, no gloves, one eye tucked under his hat, and a tooth-pick- -Startup, that's

his name.

Sir Cha, O! I have met him in a visitpray go on.

-but

Lord Mor. So, disputing with her about the conduct of women, I took the liberty to tell her how far I thought she erred in hers. She told me I was rude, and that she would never believe any man could love a woman, that thought her in the wrong in any thing she had a mind to, at least if he dared to tell her so. This provoked me into her whole character, with so much spirit and civil malice, as I have seen her bestow upon a woman of true beauty, when the men first toasted her; so, in the middle of my wisdom, she told me, she desired to be alone, that I would take my odious proud heart along with me, and trouble her no more— -I- -bowed very low, and, as I left the room, vowed I never would, and that my proud heart should never be humbled by the outside of a fine woman-About an hour after, I whipped into my chaise for London, and have never seen her since.

Sir Cha. Very well; and how did you find your proud heart by that time you got to Hounslow?

Lord Mor. I am almost ashamed to tell youI found her so much in the right, that I cursed my pride for contradicting her at all, and began to think, according to her maxim, that no woman could be in the wrong to a man that she had in her power.

Sir Cha. Ha, ha! Well, I'll tell you what you shall do. You can see her without trembling, I hope?

Lord Mor. Not if she receives me well,

Sir Cha. If she receives you well, you will have no occasion for what I am going to say to you- -first you shall dine with her.

Lord Mor. How! where! when!
Sir Cha. Here! here! at two o'clock,
Lord Mor. Dear Charles!

Sir Cha. My wife is gone to invite her; when you see her first, be neither too humble, nor too stubborn; let her see, by the ease in your behaviour, you are still pleased in being near her, while she is upon reasonable terms with you. This will either open the door of an eclaircissement, or quite shut it against you-and if she is still resolved to keep you out

Lord Mor. Nay, if she insults me, then, perhaps, I may recover pride enough to rally her by an overacted submission.

Sir Cha. Why, you improve, my lord! this is the very thing I was going to propose to you, Lord Mor. Was it, faith! hark you, dare you stand by me?

Sir Cha. Dare I! aye, to my last drop of assurance, against all the insolent airs of the proudest beauty in Christendom.

Lord Mor. Nay, then, defiance to her-We two-Thou hast inspired me-I find myself as valiant as a flattered coward.

Sir Cha. Courage, my lord; I'll warrant we beat her.

Lord Mor. My blood stirs at the very thought on't: I long to be engaged.

Sir Cha. She will certainly give ground, when she once sees you are thoroughly provoked. Lord Mor. Dear Charles, thou art a friend, indeed!

Enter a Servant.

Ser. Sir, my lord Foppington gives his service, and, if your honour's at leisure, he'll wait on you as soon as he is dressed.

Lord Mor. Lord Foppington! Is he in town? Sir Cha. Yes; I heard last night he was come. Give my service to his lordship, and tell him I should be glad he will do me the honour of his company here at dinner. [Exit Servant.] We may have occasion for him in our design upon Lady Betty.

Lord Mor. What use can we make of him? Sir Cha. We'll see when he comes; at least, there is no danger in him; but I suppose you know he is your rival.

Lord Mor. Pshaw! a coxcomb.

Sir Cha. Nay, don't despise him neitherhe is able to give you advice; for, though he is in love with the same woman, yet, to him, she has not charms enough to give a minute's pain.

Lord Mor. Prithee, what sense has he of love? Sir Cha. Faith, very near as much as a man of sense ought to have; I grant you he knows not how to value a woman truly deserving, but he has a pretty just esteem for most ladies about

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Sir Cha. Don't be too confident of that; the women now begin to laugh with him, not at him: for he really sometimes rallies his own humour with so much ease and pleasantry, that a great many women begin to think he has no follies at all, and those he has, have been as much owing to his youth, and a great estate, as want of natural wit: 'tis true, he often is a bubble to his pleasures, but he has always been wisely vain enough to keep himself from being too much the ladies' humble servant in love.

Lord Mor. There, indeed, I almost envy him. Sir Cha. The easiness of his opinion upon the

sex, will go near to pique him-We must have him.

Lord Mor. As you please—but what shall we do with ourselves till dinner?

Sir Cha. What think you of a party at picquet?

Lord Mor. O! you are too hard for me. Sir Cha. Fie! fie! when you play with his grace?

Lord Mor. Upon my honour, he gives me three points.

Sir Cha. Does he? Why, then, you shall give me but two-Here, fellow, get cards. Allons! [Exeunt.

ACT II.

SCENE I.-LADY BETTY MODISH'S lodgings. | followed by the women: so that, to be successful in one's fancy, is an evident sign of one's beEnter LADY BETTY, and LADY EASY, meeting.ing admired; and I always take admiration for

Lady Bet. Oн, my dear! I am overjoyed to see you! I am strangely happy to-day! I have just received my new scarf from London, and you are most critically come to give me your opinion of it.

Lady Easy. Oh, your servant, madam; I am a very indifferent judge, you know. What, is it with sleeves?

Lady Bet. Oh, 'tis impossible to tell you what it is!'Tis all extravagance, both in mode and fancy, my dear. I believe there's six thousand yards of edging in it-Then, such an enchanting slope from the elbow-something so new, so lively, so noble, so coquette and charming- -but you shall see it, my dear

Lady Easy. Indeed, I won't, my dear; I am resolved to mortify you for being so wrongfully fond of a trifle.

Lady Bet. Nay, now, my 'dear, you are illnatured.

Lady Easy. Why, truly, I'm half angry to see a woman of your sense so warmly concerned in the care of her outside; for, when we have taken our best pains about it, 'tis the beauty of the mind alone that gives us lasting virtue.

Lady Bet. Ah, my dear! my dear! you have been a married woman to a fine purpose, indeed, that know so little of the taste of mankind. Take my word, a new fashion upon a fine woman is often a greater proof of her value, than you are aware of.

Lady Easy. That I can't comprehend; for you see among the men, nothing's more ridiculous than a new fashion. Those of the first sense are always the last that come into them.

Lady Bet. That is, because the only merit of a man is his sense; but, doubtless, the greatest value of woman is her beauty. An homely woman, at the head of a fashion, would not be allowed in it by the men, and consequently not

the best proof of beauty, and beauty certainly is the source of power, as power, in all creatures, is the height of happiness.

Lady Easy. At this rate, you would rather be thought beautiful than good?

Lady Bet. As I had rather con mand, than obey the wisest homely woman can't make a man of sense of a fool; but the veriest fool of a beauty shall make an ass of a statesman; so that, in short, I can't see a woman of spirit has any business in this world but to dress-and make the men like her.

Lady Easy. Do you suppose this is a principle the men of sense will admire you for?

Lady Bet. I do suppose, that when I suffer any man to like my person, he shan't dare to find fault with my principle.

Lady Easy. But men of sense are not so easily humbled.

Lady Bet. The easiest of any; one has ten thousand times the trouble with a coxcomb.

Lady Easy. Nay, that may be; for I have seen you throw away more good humour, in hopes of a tendresse from my lord Foppington, who loves all women alike, than would have made my lord Morelove perfectly happy, who loves only you.

Lady Bet. The men of sense, my dear, make the best fools in the world: their sincerity and good breeding throws them so entirely into one's power, and gives one such an agreeable thirst of using them ill, to shew that power—'tis impossible not to quench it.

Lady Easy. But, methinks, my lord Morelove's manner to you might move any woman to a kinder sense of his merit.

Lady Bet. Aye, but would it not be hard, my dear, for a poor weak woman to have a man of his quality and reputation in her power, and not to let the world see him there? Would any creature sit new dressed all day in her closet? Could

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you bear to have a sweet-fancied suit, and never shew it at the play, or the drawing-room?

apt to choose that the flies have been busy with, ha, ha, ha!

Lady Easy. Thou art a strange giddy creature!

Lady Bet. That may be from so much circu

Lady Easy. But one would not ride in it, methinks, or harass it out, when there's no occasion. Lady Bet. Pooh! my lord Morelove's a mere Indian damask, one can't wear him out; o' mylation of thought, my dear. conscience, I must give him to my woman at Lady Easy. But my lord Foppington's marrilast; I begin to be known by him: had not Ied, and one would not fool with him, for his labest leave him off, my dear? for, poor soul, I believe I have a little fretted him of late.

Lady Easy. Now, 'tis to me amazing, how a man of his spirit can bear to be used like a dog for four or five years together-but nothing's a wonder in love; yet pray, when you found you could not like him at first, why did you ever encourage him?

Lady Bet. Why, what would you have one do? for my part, I could no more choose a man by my eye, than a shoe; one must draw them on a little, to see if they are right to one's foot.

Lady Easy. But I'd no more fool on with a man I could not like, than I'd wear a shoe that pinched me.

Lady Bet. Aye, but then a poor wretch tells one, he'll widen them, or do any thing, and is so civil and silly, that one does not know how to turn such a trifle, as a pair of shoes, or an heart, upon a fellow's hands again.

Lady Easy. Well; I confess you are very happily distinguished among most women of fortune, to have a man of my lord Morelove's sense and quality so long and honourably in love with you; for, now-a-days, one hardly ever hears of such a thing as a man of quality in love with the woman he would marry. To be in love, now, is only to have a design upon a woman, a modish way of declaring war against her virtue, which they generally attack first, by toasting up her vanity.

Lady Bet. Aye, but the world knows, that is not the case between my lord and me.

Lady Easy. Therefore, I think you happy. Lady Bet. Now, I don't see it; I'll swear I'm better pleased to know there are a great many foolish fellows of quality that take occasion to toast me frequently.

Lady Easy. I vow I should not thank any gentleman for toasting me, and I have often wondered how a woman of your spirit could bear a great many other freedoms I have seen some men take with you.

Lady Bet. As how, my dear? Come, prithee, be free with me, for, you must know, I love dearly to hear my faults-Who is't you have observed to be too free with me?

Lady Easy. Why, there's my lord Foppington; could any woman but you bear to see him with a respectful fleer stare full in her face, draw up his breath, and cry-Gad, you're handsome?

Lady Bet. My dear, fine fruit will have flies about it; but, poor things, they do it no harm: for, if you observe, people are generally most VOL. II.

dy's sake; it may make her uneasy, and

Lady Bet. Poor creature! Her pride, indeed, makes her carry it off without taking any notice of it to me; though I know she hates me in her heart, and I cannot endure malicious people; so I used to dine with her once a week, purely to give her disorder; if you had but seen when my lord and I fooled a little, the creature looked so ugly!

Lady Easy. But I should not think my reputation safe; my lord Foppington's a man that talks often of his amours, but seldom speaks of favours that are refused him.

Lady Bet. Pshaw! will any thing a man says make a woman less agreeable? Will his talking spoil one's complexion, or put one's hair out of order? and for reputation-look you, my dear, take it for a rule, that, as amongst the lower rank of people, no woman wants beauty that has fortune; so, among people of fortune, no woman wants virtue, that has beauty: but an estate and beauty joined, are of an unlimited, nay, a power pontifical, make one not only absolute, but infallible-A fine woman's never in the wrong; or, if we were, 'tis not the strength of a poor creature's reason that can unfetter him. Oh, how I love to hear a wretch curse himself for loving on, or now and then coming out with a————

man.

Yet for the plague of human race, This devil has an angel's face.

Lady Easy. At this rate, I don't see you allow reputation to be at all essential to a fine woman ? Lady Bet. Just as much as honour to a great Power is always above scandal. Don't you hear people say the king of France owes most of his conquests to breaking his word, and would not the confederates have a fine time on't, if they were only to go to war with reproaches? Indeed, my dear, that jewel reputation is a very fanciful business! One shall not see a homely creature in town, but wears it in her mouth as monstrously as the Indians do bobs at their lips, and it really becomes them just alike.

Lady Easy. Have a care, my dear, of trusting too far to power alone: for nothing is more ridiculous than the fall of pride; and woman's pride, at best, may be suspected to be more a distrust, than a real contempt of mankind: for, when we have said all we can, a deserving husband is certainly our best happiness; and I don't question but my lord Morelove's merit, in a little time, will make you think so, too; for, whatever airs

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