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Lord Mor. I have no relief but that. Had Sir Cha. My wife is gone to invite her; when I not thee now and then to talk an hour, my you see her first, be neither too humble, nor life were insupportable.
too stubborn; let her see, by the ease in your beSir Cha. I am sorry for that, my lord;—but haviour, you are still pleased in being near her, mind what I say to you -but hold, first let while she is upon reasonable terms with you. me know the particulars of your quarrel with This will either open the door of an eclaircisseher.
ment, or quite shut it against you—and if she Lord Mor. Why--about three weeks ago, is still resolved to keep you outwhen I was last here at Windsor, she had for Lord Mor. Nay, if she insults me, then, persome days treated me with a little more reserve, haps, I may recover pride enough to rally her by and another with more freedom, than I found an overacted submission. myself easy at.
Sir Cha. Why, you improve, my lord! this is Sir Cha. Who was that other?
the very thing I was going to propose to you, Lord Mor. One of my lord Foppington's Lord Mor. Was it, faith! hark you, dare you gang—the pert coxcomb that's just come to stand by me? a small estate and a great periwig-he that Sir Cha. Dare I! aye, to my last drop of assings himself among the women What do surance, against all the insolent airs of the proudyou call him ?--He won't speak to a com est beauty in Christendom. moner when a lord is in company
Lord Mor. Nay, then, defiance to her-We ways see him with a cane dangling at his button, two-—Thou hast inspired me-I find myself as his breast open, no gloves, one eye tucked under valiant as a flattered coward. his hat, and a tooth-pick
-Startup, that's Sir Cha. Courage, my lord; I'll warrant we his naine.
beat her. Sir Cha. O! I have met him in a visit -but Lord Mor. My blood stirs at the very thought pray go on.
on't: I long to be engaged. Lord Mor. So, disputing with her about the Sir Cha. She will certainly give ground, when conduct of women, I took the liberty to tell her she once sees you are thoroughly provoked. how far I thought she erred in hers. She told me Lord Mor. Dear Charles, thou art a friend, I was rude, and that she would never believe any | indeed ! man could love a woman, that thought her in
Enter a Servant. the wrong in any thing she had a mind to, at least if he dared to tell her so. This provoked Ser. Sir, my lord Foppington gives his service, me into her whole character, with so much spirit and, if your honour's at leisure, he'll wait on you and civil malice, as I have seen her bestow upon as soon as he is dressed. a woman of true beauty, when the men first Lord Mor. Lord Foppington! Is he in town? toasted her; so, in the middle of my wisdom, she Sir Cha. Yes; I heard last night he was come. told me, she desired to be alone, that I would Give my service to his lordship, and tell him I take my odious proud heart along with me, and should be glad he will do me the honour of his trouble her no more-I -bowed very low, company here at dinner. [Erit Servanl.] We and, as I left the room, vowed I never would, may have occasion for him in our design upon and that my proud heart should never be hum- Lady Betty. bled by the outside of a fine woman-About an Lord Mor. What use can we make of him? hour after, I whipped into my chaise for Lon Cha. We'll see when he comes; at least, don, and have never seen her since.
there is no danger in him; but I suppose you Sir Cha. Very well; and how did you find your know he is your
rival. proud heart by that time you got to Hounslow? Lord Mor. Pshaw! a coxcomb.
Lord Mor. I am almost ashamed to tell you— Sir Cha. Nay, don't despise him neitherI found her so much in the right, that I cursed my he is able to give you advice; for, though he is pride for contradicting her at all, and began to in love with the same woman, yet, to him, she has think, according to her maxim, that no woman not charms epough to give a minute's pain. could be in the wrong to a man that she had in Lord Mor. Prithee, what sense has be of love?
Sir Cha. Faith, very near as much as a man of Sir Cha. Ha, ha! Well, I'll tell you what you sense ought to have; ! grant you he knows not shall do. You can see her without trembling, I how to value a woman truly deserving, but he hope?
has a pretty just esteem for most ladies about Lord Mor. Not if she receives me well, Sir Cha. If she receives you well, you will
Lord Mor. That he follows, I grant youhave no occasion for what I am going to say to for he seldom visits any of extraordinary reputayou first you shall dine with her.
tion. Lord Mor. How! where! when !
Sir Cha. Have a care! I have seen him at lady Sir Cha. Here! here ! at two o'clock,
Betty Modish's. Lord Mor. Dear Charles !
Lord Mor. To be laughed alia
Sir Cha. Don't be too confident of that; the sex, will go near to pique him—We must have women now begin to laugh with him, not at him : him. for he really sometimes rallies his own humour Lord Mor. As you please—but what shall we with so much ease and pleasantry, that a great do with ourselves till dinner? many women begin to think he has no follies at Sir Cha. What think you of a party at picall, and those he has, have been as much owing quet? to his youth, and a great estate, as want of natu Lord Mor. O! you are too hard for me. ral wit : 'tis true, he often is a bubble to his Sir Cha. Fie! fie! when you play with his pleasures, but he has always been wisely vain grace? enough to keep himself from being too much the Lord Mor. Upon my honour, he gives me three ladies' humble servant in love.
points. Lord Mor. There, indeed, I almost envy him. Sir Cha. Does he? Why, then, you shall give Sir Cha. The easiness of his opinion upon the me but two-Here, fellow, get cards. Allons !
SCENE I.- LADY Betty Modisu's lodgings. I followed by the women: so that, to be success.
ful in one's fancy, is an evident sign of one's beEnter Lady Betty, and Lady Easy, meeting. ing admired; and I always take admiration for
the best proof of beauty, and beauty certainly is Lady Bet. Ok, my dear! I am overjoyed to the source of power, as power, in all creatures, is see you! I ain strangely happy to-day! I have the height of happiness. just received my new scarf from London, and Lady Easy. At this rate, you would rather be you are most critically come to give nie your opi- thought beautiful than good? nion of it.
Lady Bet. As I had rather conjmand, than Lady Easy. Oh, your servant, madam; I am obey: the wisest homely woman can't make a a very indifferent judge, you know. What, is it man of sense of a fool; but the veriest fool of a with sleeves ?
beauty shall make an ass of a statesman; so that, Lady Bet. Oh, 'tis impossible to tell you in sbort, I can't see a woman of spirit has any what it is!'Tis all extravagance, both in mode business in this world but to dress and make and fancy, my dear. I believe there's six thou- the men like her. sand yards of edging in it-Then, such an en Lady Easy. Do you suppose this is a principle chanting slope from the elbow—something so the men of sense will admire you for? new, so lively, so noble, so coquette and charm Lady Bet. I do suppose, that when I suffer ing-but
any man to like my person, he shan't dare to Lady Easy. Indeed, I won't, my dear; I am find fault with my principle. resolved to mortify you for being so wrongfully Lady Easy. But men of sense are not so easily fond of a trifle.
humbled. Lady Bet. Nay, now, my 'dear, you are ill Lady Bet. The easiest of any; one has ten natured.
thousand times the trouble with a coxcomb. Lady Easy. Why, truly, I'm half angry to see Lady Easy. Nay, that may be; for I have a woman of your sense so warmly concerned in scen you throw away more good humour, in the care of her outside; for, when we have taken hopes of a tendresse from my lord Foppington, our best pains about it, 'tis the beauty of the who loves all women alike, than would have mind alone that gives us lasting virtue.
made my lord Morelove perfectly happy, who Lady Bet. Ah, my dear! my dear! you loves only you. bave been a married woman to a five purpose, Lady Bet
. The men of sense, my dear, make indeed, that know so little of the taste of man the best fools in the world : their sincerity and kind. Take my word, a new fashion upon a fine good breeding throws them so entirely into one's woman is often a greater proof of her value, power, and gives one such an agreeable thirst of than you are aware of.
us ng them ill, to shew that power—'tis impossiLady Easy. That I can't comprehend; for you ble not to quench it. see' among the men, nothing's more ridiculous Lady Easy. But, methinks, my lord Morethan a new fashion. Those of the first sense are love's manner to you might move any woman to always the last that come into them.
a kinder sense of bis merit. Lady Bet. That is, because the only merit Lady Bet. Aye, but would it not be hard, my of a man is his sense; but, doubtless, the great dear, for a poor weak woman to have a man of est value of woman is her beauty. An bomely his quality and reputation in her power, and not woman, at the head of a fashion, would not be al to let the world see him there? Would any crealowed in it by the men, and consequently not ture sit new dressed all day in her closet? Could
you bear to have a sweet-fancied suit, and never | apt to choose that the fies have been busy with, shew it at the play, or the drawing-room? ha, ha, ha!
Lady Easy. But one would not ride in it, me Lady Easy. Thou art a strange giddy creathinks, or harass it out, when there's no occasion. ture !
Lady Bet. Pooh! my lord Morelove's a mere Lady Bet. That may be from so much circuIndian damask, one can't wear him out; o' my lation of thought, my dear. conscience, I must give him to my woman at Lady Easy. But my lord Foppington's marrilast; I begin to be known by him : had not I ed, and one would not fool with him, for his labest leave him off, my dear? for, poor soul, I dy's sake; it may make her uneasy, andbelieve I have a little fretted him of late.
Lady Bet. Poor creature! Her pride, indeed, Lady Easy. Now, 'tis to me amazing, how a makes her carry it off without taking any notice man of his spirit can bear to be used like a dog of it to me; though I know she hates me in her for four or five years together—but nothing's a heart, and I cannot endure malicious people; so wonder in love; yet pray, when you found you I used to dine with her once a week, purely to could not like him at first, why did you ever en- give her disorder; if you had but seen when my courage him?
lord and I fooled a little, the creature looked so Lady Bet. Why, what would you have one ugly! do? for my part, I could no more choose a man Lady Easy. But I should not think my repuby my eye, than a shoe; one must draw them on tation safe; my lord Foppington's a man that a little, to see if they are right to one's foot. talks often of his amours, but seldom speaks of
Lady Easy. But I'd no more fool on with a favours that are refused him. man I could not like, than I'd wear a shoe that Lady Bet. Pshaw! will any thing a man says pinched me.
make a woman less agreeable? Will his talking Lady Bet. Aye, but then a poor wretch tells spoil one's complexion, or put one's hair out of one, he'll widen them, or do any thing, and is so order? and for reputation-look you, my dear, civil and silly, that one does not know how to take it for a rule, that, as amongst the lower rank turn such a trifle, as a pair of shoes, or an heart, of people, no woman wants beauty that has forupon a fellow's hands again.
tune; so, among people of fortune, no woman Lady Easy. Well; I confess you are very hap- wants virtue, that has beauty: but an estate and pily distinguished among most women of fortune, beauty joined, are of an unlimited, nay, a power to have a man of my lord Morelove's sense and pontifical, make one not only absolute, but infalquality so long and honourably in love with you; lible-A fine woman's never in the wrong; or, for, now-a-days, one hardly ever hears of such a lif we were, 'tis not the strength of a poor creathing as a man of quality in love with the wo- ture's reason that can unfetter him. Oh, how I man he would marry. "To be in love, now, is love to hear a wretch curse himself for loving only to have a design upon a woman, a modish on, or now and then coming out with away of declaring war against her virtue, which they generally attack first, by toasting up her va Yet for the plague of human race, nity.
This devil has an angel's face. Lady Bet. Aye, but the world knows, that is not the case between my lord and me.
Lady Easy. At this rate, I don't see you allow Lady Easy. Therefore, I think you happy. reputation to be at all essential to a fine woman?
Lady Bet. Now, I don't see it; I'll swear Lady Bet. Just as much as honour to a great I'm better pleased to know there are a great ma man. Power is always above scandal. Don't ny foolish fellows of quality that take occasion to you hear people say the king of France owes toast me frequently.
most of his conquests to breaking his word, and Lady Easy. I vow I should not thank any gen- would not the confederates have a fine time on't, tleman for toasting me, and I have often won if they were only to go to war with reproaches? dered how a woman of your spirit could hear a Indeed, my dear, that jewel reputation is a very great many other freedoms I have seen some fanciful business! One shall not see a homely men take with you.
creature in town, but wears it in her mouth as Lady Bet. As how, my dear? Come, prithee, monstrously as the Indians do bobs at their lips, be free with me, for, you must know, I love dear- and it really becomes them just alike. ly to hear my faults--Who is't you have obser Lady Easy. Have a care, my dear, of trusting ved to be too free with me?
too far to power alone: for nothing is more ridiLady Easy. Why, there's my lord Foppington; culous than the fall of pride; and woman's pride, could any woman but you bear to see him with a at best, may be suspected to be more a distrust, respectful Aeer stare full in her face', draw up than a real contempt of mankind : for, when we his breath, and cry-Gad, you're handsome? have said all we can, a deserving husband is cer
Lady Bet. My dear, fine fruit will have flies tainly our best happiness; and I don't question about it; but, poor things, they do it no harm : but my lord Morelove's merit, in a little time, for, if you observe, people are generally most will make you think so, too; for, whatever airs VOL. II.
you give yourself to the world, I'm sure your Lord More. Her pride, and your indifference, heart don't want good-nature.
inust occasion a pleasant scene, sure; what do Lady Bet. You are mistaken; I am very ill- you intend to do? natured, though your good-humour won't let you Sir Cha. Treat her with a cold familiar air, till
I pique her to forbid me her sight, and then take Lady Easy. Then, to give me a proof on't, let her at her word. me see you refuse to go immediately and dine Lord More. Very gallant and provoking. with me, after I have promised sir Charles to
Enter a Servant. bring you. Lady Bet. Pray, don't ask me.
Ser. Sir, iny lord FoppingtonLady Easy. Why?
[Erit Sertant. Lady Bet. Because, to let you see I hate good Sir Cha.. Oh—now, my lord, if you have a nature, I'll go without asking, that you mayn't mind to be let into the mystery of making love have the malice to say I did you a favour. without pain, here's one that's a master of the Lady Easy. Thou art a mad creature. art, and shall declaim to you, [Exeunt arm in arm.
Enter LORD FOPPINGTON. SCENE II.—Changes to Sir Charles's lodg- My dear lord Foppington! ings. LORD MORELOVE and Sir CHARLES at
Lord Fop. My dear agreeable! Que je t'em
brasse! Pardi ! Il y a cent ans que je ne t'ai vu picquet.
-my lord, I am your lordship’s most obedient Sir Cha. Come, my lord, one single game for humble servant. the tout, and so have done.
Lord More. My lord, I kiss your hands-I Lord More. No, hang them, I have enough of hope we shall have you here some time; you them! ill cards are the dullest company in the seem to have laid in a stock of health to be in world-How much is it?
at the diversions of the place—You look extremeSir Cha. Three parties.
ly well. Lord More. Fifteen pounds-very well. Lord Fop. To see one's friends look so, my [While LORD MORELOVE counts out his money, a lord, may easily give a vermeille to one's com
servant gives Sir CHARLES a letter, which plexion. he reads to himself.]
Sir Cha. Lovers in hope, my lord, always have Sir Cha. (To the Servant:]-Give my service; a visible brilliant in their eyes and air. say I have company dines with me; if I have time Lord Fop. What dost thou mean, Charles ? I'll call there in the afternoon-ha, ha, ha! Sir Cha. Come, come, confess what really
(E.rit Servant. brought you to Windsor, now you have no busiLord More. What's the matter? there
[Paying the money. Lord Fop. Why, two hours, and six of the Sir Cha. The old affair-my lady Graveairs. best nags in Christendom, or the devil drive ine! Lord More. Oh! Prithee, how does that go Lord More. You make haste, my lord.
Lord Fop. My lord, I always fly when I purSir Cha. As agreeably as a chancery suit: for sue-But they are all well kept, indeed - I love now it comes to the intolerable plague of my not to have creatures go as I bid them. You have being able to get rid on't; as you may see seen them, Charles ; but so has all the world;
[Giving the letter. Foppington's long tails are known on every road Lord More. (Reads.).— Your behaviour, since in England. • I came to Windsor, has convinced me of your Sir Chu. Well, my lord, but how came they
villainy, without my being surprised, or angry at to bring you this road? You don't use to take 'it. I desire you would let me see you at my these irregular jaunts, without some design in lodgings immediately, where I shall have a bet- your head, of having more than nothing to do. ter opportunity to convince you, that I never Lord Fop. Pshaw! Pox! Prithee, Charles, can, or positively will, be as I have been.--thou knowest I am a fellow sans consequence, be "Yours,' &c. A very whimsical letter ! Faith, I where I will. think she has hard luck with you: if a man were Sir Cha. Nay, nay, this is too much among obliged to have a mistress, her person and condi- friends, my lord; come, come, we must have it; tion seem to be cut out for the ease of a lover : your real business here? for she's a young, handsome, wild, well-jointured Lord Fop. Why, then, entre nous, there is a widow-But what's your quarrel?
certain fille de joye about the court, here, that Sir Cha. Nothing—She sees the coolness hap- loves winning at cards better than all the things pens to be first on my side, and her business I have been able to say to her,----so I hare with ine now, I suppose, is to convince me how brought an oda thousand bill in my pocket, that heartily she's vexed that she was not before-hand design, tête-à-tête, to play off with her at
picquet, or so; and now the business is out.
Sir Cha. Ah, and a very good business, too, my
Lord More. I believe there are a great many lord.
in the world that are sorry 'tis not in their power Lord Fop. If it be well done, Charles to unmarry her.
Sir Cha. That's as you manage your cards, my Lord Fop. I am a great many in the world's lord.
very humble servant; and, whenever they find it Lord More. This must be a woman of conse is in their power, their high and miglity wisquence, by the value you set upon her favours. doms may command me at a quarter of an hour's
Sir Cha. Oh, nothing's above the price of a warning. fine woman.
Lord More. Pray, my lord, what did you marLord Fop. Nay, look you, gentlemen, the ry for? price may not happen to be altogether so high, Lord Fop. To pay my debts at play, and disneither-For I fancy I know enough of the inherit my younger brother. game, to make it an even bet, I get her for no Lord More. But there are some things due to thing.
a wife. Lord More. How so, my lord ?
Lord Fop. And there are some debts I don't Lord Fop. Because, if she happen to lose a
care to pay
-to both which I plead-husband, good sum to me, I shall buy her with her own and—my lord. money.
Lord More. If I should do so,
I should expect Lord More. That's new, I confess.
to have my own coach stopt in the street, and Lord Fop. You know, Charles, 'tis not impos- to meet my wife with the windows up in a hacksible but I may be five hundred pounds deep ney; with her-then, bills may fall short, and the de Lord Fop. Then would I put in bail, and orvil's in't if I want assurance to ask her to pay der a separate maintenance. some way or other.
Lord More. So, pay the double the sum of the Sir Cha. And a man must be a churl, indeed, debt, and be married for nothing. that won't take a lady's personal security; ha, ha, Lord Fop. Now, I think deferring a dun, and ha!
getting rid of one's wife, are two the most agreeLord Fop. He, he, he! Thou art a devil, able sweets in the liberties of an English subCharles !
ject. Lord More. Death! How happy is this cox Lord More. If I were married, I would as comb?
soon part from iny estate as my
wife. [ Aside. Lord Fop. Now, I would not; sun-burn me if Lord Fop. But, to tell you the truth, gentle I would ! men, I had another pressing tenptation that Lord More. Death! but, since you are so inbrought me hither, which was—my wife. different, my lord, why would you needs marry a
Lord More. That's kind, indeed; my lady has woman of so inuch merit? Could not you bave been here this month : she'll be glad to see you. laid out your spleen upon some ill-natured shrew,
Lord Fop. That I don't know; for I design that wanted the plague of an ill husband, and this afternoou to send her to London,
have let her alone to some plain, honest man of Lord More. What! the same day you come, quality, that would have deserved her? my lord ? that would be cruel.
Lord Fop. Why, faith, my lord, that might Lord Fop. Aye, but it will be mighty conve- have been considered; but I really grew so pasnient; for she is positively of no manner of use sionately fond of her fortune, that, curse catch in my amours.
me, I was quite blind to the rest of her good quaLord More. That's your fault; the town thinks lities : for, to tell you the truth, if it had been her a very deserving woman.
possible the old put of a peer could have tossed Lord Fop. If she were a woman of the town, me in t'other five thousand for them, by my conperhaps I should think so, too; but she happens sent, she should have relinquished her merit and to be my wife, and, when a wife is once given to virtues to any of her other sisters. deserve more than her husband's inclinations can Sir Cha. Aye, aye, my lord; virtues in a wife pay, in my mind she has no merit at all. are good for nothing but to make her proud, and
Lord More. She's extremely well-bred, and of put the world in mind of her husband's faults, a very prudent conduct.
Lord Fop. Right, Charles : and, strike me Lord Fop. Umaye—the woman's proud blind, but the women of virtue are now grown enough.
such idiots in love, that they expect of a man, Lord More. Add to this, all the world allows just as they do of a coach-borse, that's one apher handsome.
petite, like t'other's flesh, should increase by Lord Fop. The world's extremely civil, my feeding. lord; and I should take it as a favour done me, Sir Cha. Right, my lord; and don't consider, if they could find an expedient to upmarry the that toujours chapons bouillis will never do with poor woman from the only man in the world that an English stomach. cannot think her handsome.
Lord Fop. Ha, ha, ha! To tell you the truth,