The British Drama: pt. 1-2. Comedies

With sodden ale, and pellitory o' the wall;
Cost me but two-pence. I had another sickness,
Was worse than that-

Face. Aye, that was the grief

Thou took'st for being 'sessed at eighteen pence,
For the water-work.

Drug. In truth, and it was like
To have cost me almost my life.
Face. Thy hair went off.

Drug. Yes;

Twas done for spite.

Face. Nay, so says the doctor.

Sub. Then, to her cuz,

Hoping that he hath vinegared his senses,
As he was bid, the fairy queen dispenses,
By me, this robe, the petticoat of fortune;
Which that he straight put on, she doth impor-

tune,

And though to fortune near be her petticoat,
Yet nearer is her smock, the queen doth note :
And therefore, even of that a piece she has sent,
Which, being a child, to wrap him in, was rent;
And prays him for a scarf, he now will wear it
(With as much love as then her grace did tear it)

Kas. Pray thee, tobacco boy, go fetch my sus- About his eyes, to shew he is fortunate.

ter;

I'll see this learned boy before I go;

Face. Drugger, she's thine-the damask.
[Exeunt DRUGGER and KASTRIL.

Subtle and I
Must wrestle for her. [Aside.] Come on, Mas-
ter Dapper;

You see how I turn clients here away,

[They blind him with a rag.

And, trusting unto her to make his state,
He'll throw away all worldly pelf upon him:
Which, that he will perform, she doth not doubt
him.

Face. She need not doubt him, sir. Alas! he
has nothing

But what he will part withal as willingly,
Upon her grace's word (throw away your purse),

As she should ask it.

She cannot bid that thing, but he'll obey.
If you have a ring about you, cast it off,
Or a silver seal at your wrist: her grace will send
Her fairies here to search you; therefore deal
Directly with her highness. If they find

To give your cause dispatch. Have you per- That you conceal a mite, you are undone.

You are lodged here i' the house of a rare man, An excellent artist; but what's that to you? Dol. Yes, sir, I study here the mathematics, And distillation.

Mam. Oh, I cry your pardon.

He's a divine instructor.

Dol. Aye, and for his physick, sirMam. Above the art of Esculapius, That drew the envy of the thunderer! I know all this, and more.

Dol. Troth, I am taken, sir,

Whole with these studies, that contemplate na

Mam. Why, you are like it.

You were created, lady, for the light!

Here, you shall wear it; take it, the first pledge Of what I speak, to bind you to believe me. Dol. In chains of adamant?

Mam. Yes, the strongest bands.

And take a secret, too: here, by your side,
Doth stand, this hour, the happiest man in Europe.
Dol. You are contented, sir?

Mam. Nay, in true being,

The envy of princes, and the fear of states.
Dol. Say you so, sir Epicure?

Mam. Yes, and thou shalt prove it,
Daughter of honour. I have cast mine eye
Upon thy form, and I will rear this beauty
Above all stiles.

Dol. You mean no treason, sir?

Mam. No: I will take away that jealousy.
I am the lord of the philosopher's stone,
And thou the lady.

Dol. How, sir! ha' you that?

Mam. I am the master of the mastery. This day the good old wretch here, o' the house, Has made it for us; now he's at projection. Think, therefore, thy first wish now; let me hear

it;

And ha' your elements perfect

Kas. What, is this

The angry tongue he talks in?

Sub. That false precept

Of being afore-hand, has deceived a number, And made them enter quarrels, oftentimes, Before they were aware; and afterward Against their wills.

Kas. How must I do then, sir?

Sub. I cry this lady mercy: she should first Have been saluted.

Enter SUBTLE.

Sub. What do you say?

Face. Have you disposed of them.
Sub. I have sent them up.

Face. Subtle, in troth, I needs must have this widow.

Sub. Is that the matter?
Face. Nay, but hear me.
Sub. Go to,

If you rebel once, Dol shall know it all.
Therefore be quiet, and obey your chance.
Face. Nay,

But understand: I'll give you composition.

Sub. I will not treat with thee. What, sell my fortune?

'Tis better than my birth-right. Do not murmur. Win her, and carry her. If you grumble, Dol Knows it directly.

Face. Well, sir, I am silent.

Will you go help to fetch in Don in state?

Sub. I follow you, sir. We must keep Face in

Sub. He speaks out of a fortification.

Pray god, he ha' no squibs in those deep sets. Sur. Por dios, sennores, muy linda casa! Sub. What says he?

Face. Praises the house, I think;

I know no more but's action.
Sub. Yes, the Casa,

My precious Diego, will prove fair enough
To cozen you in. Do you mark? You shall
Be cozened, Diego.

Face. Cozened, do you see?
My worthy Donzel, cozened.
Sur. Entiendo.

Sub. Do you intend it? So do we, dear Don. Have you brought pistolets, or portagues, My solemn Don? Dost thou feel any?

Face. Full.

[He feels his pockets. Sub. You shall be emptied, Don, pumped and drawn

que codicio tan a ver la, como la bien aventuranza | And that was some three year afore I was born,

de mi vida.

[Exit SURLY.

I will the heartlier go about it now,
And make the widow a punk so much the sooner,
To be revenged on this impetuous Face:
The quickly doing of it is the grace.

Enter FACE, KASTRIL, and PLIANT.
Face. Come, lady; I knew the doctor would
not leave,

Till he had found the very nick of her fortune. Kas. To be a countess, say you? A Spanish countess, sir?

Pli. Why, is that better than an English countess?

Face. Better! 'Slight, make you that a question, lady?

in truth.

Sur. Que es esto, sennores, que non se venga? Esta tardanza me mata!

Face. It is the count come;

The doctor knew he would be here, by his art.
Sub. En gallanta madama, don! gallantissima!
Sur. Par todos los dioses, le mas acabada
Hermosura, que he visto en mi vida !
Face. Is't not a gallant language, that they
speak?

Kas. An admirable language! Is't not French?
Face. No, Spanish, sir.

Kas. It goes like law-French;

And that, they say, is the courtliest language.
Face. List, sir.

Sur. Valga me dios.

Face. He admires your sister.

Kas. Must not she make a curtsy?

Sub. Od's will, she must go to him, man, and

kiss him!

It is the Spanish fashion for the women
To make first court. Sir?

Sur. Por el amor de dios, que es esto, que se tarda?

Kas. Nay, see; she will not understand him! Gull!

Noddy!

Pli. What say you, brother?

Kas. Ass, my suster!

Go kuss him, as the cunning man would ha’ Sur. Sennora, si sera servida, entremus. Kas. Where does he carry her?

you.

[Exeunt SURLY and PLIANT. Face. Into the garden, sir;

Take you no thought; I must interpret for her. Sub. Give Dol the word. [Erit FACE.] Come, my fierce child, advance.

We'll to our quarrelling lesson again.
Kass. Agreed.

I love a Spanish boy with all my heart.
Sub. Nay, by this means, sir, you shall be bro-
ther

To a great count.

Kas. Ay, I knew that at first.

This match will advance the house of the Kas

trils.

Sub. Pray God your sister prove

Kas. Why,

but pliant.

Her name is so by her other husband.

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