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Kite. A crown! never talk of buying; 'tis the lit, neither; that we dare not do, for fear of besame thing among friends, you know ; I'll pre- ing shot; but we humbly conceive, in a civil sent them to ye both : you shall give me as good way, and begging your worship’s pardon, that we a thing. Put them up, and remember your old may go home. friend when I am over the hills and far away. Plume. That's easily known. Have either of [They sing, and put up the money. you received any of the king's money?

Cos. Not a brass farthing, sir.
Enter PLUME, singing.

Kite. They have each of them received one

and-twenty shillings, and 'tis now in their pockOver the hills and over the main, To Flanders, Portugal, or Spain ;

Cos. Wounds! if I have a penny in my pockThe king commands, and we'll obey,

et but a bent sixpence, I'll be content to be listOver the hills and far away.

ed, and shot into the bargain.

Tho. And I: look ye, here, sir. Come on, my men of mirth; away with it; I'll Cos. Nothing but the king's picture that the make one among ye. Who are these hearty serjeant gave me, just now. lads?

Kite. See there, a guinea, one-and-twenty shilKite. Off with your hats; 'ounds! off with lings; tother has the fellow on't. your hats; this is the captain, the captain ! Plume. The case is plain, gentlemen ; the

Tho. We have seen captains afore now, mun. goods are found upon you : those pieces of gold

Cos. Aye, and lieutenant-captains, too. 'Shesh! are worth one-and-twenty shillings, each. I'll keep on my nab.

Cos. So it seems that Carolus is one-and-twenTho. And I'se scarcely d'off mine for any cap- ty shillings in Latin. tain in England. My vether's a freeholder. Tho. 'Tis the same thing in Greek; for we are

Plume. Who are those jolly lads, serjeant? listed.

Kite. A couple of honest, brave fellows, that Cos. Flesh! But we an't, Tummas; I desire are willing to serve the king : I have entertained to be carried before the mayor, captain. them, just now, as volunteers under your ho- (Captain and serjeant whisper the while. nour's conjmand.

Plume. 'Twill never do, Kite-your damned Plume. And good entertainment they shall tricks will ruin me at last—I won't lose the felhave: volunteers are the men I want; those are lows, though, if I can help it-Well, gentlemen, the men fit to make soldiers, captains, generals. there must be some trick in this; my serjeant of

Cos. Wounds, Tummas, what's this? Are you fers to take his oath, that you are fairly listed. listed?

Tho. Why, captain, we know that you soldiers Tho. Flesh ! not I: are you, Costar? have more liberty of conscience than other folks; Cos. Wounds! not I.

but, for me, or neighbour Costar here, to take Kite. What! Not listed ? Ha, ha, ha! a very such an oath, 'twould be downright perjuration. good jest, i'faith!

Plyme. Look'e, rascal, you villain! If I find, Cos. Come, Tummas, we'll go home.

that you have imposed upon these two honest Tho. Aye, aye, come.

fellows, I'll trample you to death, you dogKite. Home for shame, gentlemen; behave Come, how was't? yourselves better before your captain. Dear Tho. Nay, then, we'll speak. Your serjeant, Tummas, honest Costar!

as you say, is a rogue, an't like your worship, Tho. No, no, we'll be gone.

begging your worship’s pardon-andKite. Nay, then, I command you to stay; I Cost. Nay, Tummas, let me speak; you know place you both centinels in this place for two I can read. And so, sir, he gave us those two hours, to watch the motion of St Mary's clock, pieces of money for pictures of the king, by way yon--and you the motion of St Chad's; and he of a present. that dares stir from his post, till he be relieved, Plume. How! by way of a present ? the son shall have my sword in his guts the next minute. of a whore! I'll teach him to abuse honest fel

Plume. What's the matter, serjeant? I'm lows like you! scoundrel! rogue ! villain! afraid you are too rough with these gentlemen.

[Beats off the serjeant, and follows, Kite. I'ın too mild, sir; they disobey com- Both. O brave, noble captain ! huzza! A brave mand, sir; and one of them should be shot for captain, faith! an example to the other.

Cos. Now, Tummas, Carolus is Latin for a Cos. Shot! Tumas?

beating. This is the bravest captain I ever saw Plume. Come, gentlemen, what's the matter? -Wounds! I have a month's mind to go with

Tho. We don't know; the noble serjeant is him. pleased to be in a passion, sir-butKite. They disobey command; they deny their

Enter PLUME. being listed.

Plume. A dog, to abuse two such honest fel. Tho. Nay, scrjeant, we don't downright deny lows as you-Look'e, gentlemen, I love a pretty

fellow; I come among you as an officer, to list Plume. Give me thy hand, and now you and soldiers, not as a kidnapper, to steal slaves. I will travel the world o'er, and command it Cost. Mind that, Tummas.

wherever we tread- Bring your

friend with you, Plume. I desire no man to go with me but as if you can.

[Aside. I went myself; I went a volunteer, as you, or *Cost. Well, Tummas, must we part? you may do; for a little time carried a musket, Tho No, Costar, I cannot leave thee--Come, and now I command a company.

captain, I'll e'eo go along, too; and if you have Tho. Mind that, Costar. A sweet gentleman! two honester, simpler lads in your company, than Plume. 'Tis true, gentlemen, I might take an we two have been, I'll say no more. advantage of you; the king's money was in your Plume. Here, my lad. (Gives him money.] pockets; my serjeant was ready to take his oath Now, your name? you were listed; but I scorn to do a base thing; Tho. Tummas Appletree. you are both of you at your liberty.

Plume. And yours? Cost. Thank you, noble captain !'icod! Cost. Costar Pearmain. I can't find in my heart to leave him, he talks so Plume. Well said, Costar! Born where? finely.

Tho. Both in Herefordshire. Tho. Aye, Costar, would he always hold in Plume. Very well. Courage, my ladsthis mind!

Now we'll—(Sings.] Plume. Come, my lads, one thing more I'll tell you : you're both young tight fellows, and

Over the kills and far away. the army is the place to make you men for ever : Courage, boys, it is one to ten every man has his lot, and you have yours : But we return all gentlemen : what think you of a purse of French gold out of While conquering colours we display, a monsieur's pocket, after you have dashed out

Over the hills and far away. his brains with the butt-end of your fire-lock? eh?

Kite, take care of them.

[Erit. Cost. Wauns! I'll have it. Captain-give me a shilling; I'll follow you to the end of the

Enter KITE. world.

Tho. Nay, dear Costar! do'na : be advised. Kite. An't you a couple of pretty fellows,

Plume. Ilere, my hero; here are two guineas now! Here you have complained to the captain, for thee, as earnest of what I'll do farther for I am to be turned out, and one of you will thee.

be serjeant. Which of you is to have my halTho. Do'na take it; do'na, dear Costar! berd?

[Cries, and pulls back his arm. Both Rec. I. Cost. I wull-wull_Waunds! my mind Kite. So you shall-in your guts—March, you gives me that I shall be a captain myself sons of whores! I take your money, sir, and now I am a gentle

[Beats them off man.





SCENE I.—The Market-place.

Wor. No!

Plume. No; I think myself above administerEnter PLUME and WORTOY.

ing to the pride of any woman, were she worth Wor. I CANNOT forbcar admiring the equality twelve thousand a-year, and I han't the vanity to of our two fortunes: we love two ladies; they believe I shall gain a lady worth twelve hundred. meet us half way, and just as we were upon the the generous, good-natured Sylvia, in her smock, point of leaping into their arms, fortune drops in I admire; but the haughty and scorntul Sylvia, their laps, pride possesses their hearts, a maggot with her fortune, I despise-What! sneak out of fills their heads, madness takes them by the tails; town, and not so much as a word, a line, a comthey snort, kick up their heels, and away they pliment ! 'Sdeath! how far off does she live? I'll

go and break her windows. Plume. And leave us here to mourn upon the Wor. Ha, ha, ha! aye, and the window-bars, shore-a couple of poor melancholy monsters, too, to come at her. Come, come, friend; nu What shall we do?

more of your rough military airs. Wor. I have a trick for mine; the letter, you know, and the fortune-teller.

Enter Kite. Plume. And I have a trick for mine.

Kite. Captain, captain ! Sir, look yonder, she's Wor. What is't?

a-coming this way.' 'Tis the prettiest, cleanest, Plume. I'll never think of her again.

little tit!





what may


times more.

Plume. Now, Worthy, to shew you how much one of these hussars eat up a ravelin for his I'm in love-here she comes. But, Kite, what is breakfast, and afterwards pick his teeth with a that great country-fellow with her?

palisado. Kite. I can't tell, sir.

Bul. Ay, you soldiers see very strange things ;

but Enter Rose, followed by her brother BULLOCK,

pray, sir, what is a rabelin?

Kite. Why, 'tis like a modern ininced pie, but with chickens on her arm, in a basket.

the crust is confounded hard, and the plumbs Rose. Buy chickens, young and tender chick- are somewhat hard of digestion. ens, young and tender chickens.

Bul. Then your palisado- pray

he Plume. Here, you chickens !

be? Come, Ruose, pray ha' done. Rose. Who calls?

Kite. Your palisado is a pretty sort of bodo Plume. Come hither, pretty maid !

kin, about the thickness of iny leg. Rose. Will you please to buy, sir?

Bul. That's a fib, I believe. [ Aside.] Eh! | Wor. Yes, child, we'll both buy.

where's Ruose? Ruose, Ruose! S'flesh! where's Plume. Nay, Worthy, that's not fair; market Ruose gone? for yourself -Come, child, I'll buy all you Kite. She's gone with the captain. have.

Bul. The captain! wouns! there's no preso Rose. Then all I have is at your service. sing of women, sure.

[Curtesies. Kite. But there is, sure. Wor. Then must I shift for myself, I find. Bul. If the captain should press Ruose, I

[Erit Wor. should be ruined- -Which way went she? Plume. Let me see; young and tender you Oh! the devil take your rabelins and palisadoes! [Chucks her under the chin.

(Erit Bul. Rose. As ever you tasted in your life, sir. Kite. You shall be better acquainted with

Plume. Come, 1 must examine your basket to them, honest Bullock, or I shall miss of my aim. the bottom, my dear! Rose. Nay, for that matter, put in your hand;

Enter WORTHY. feel, sir; I warrant my ware is as good as any in Wor. Why thou art the most useful fellow in the market.

nature to your captain ; admirable in your way, I Plume. And I'll buy it all, child, were it ten find.

Kite. Yes, sir, I understand my business, I Rose. I can fyrnish you.

will say it. Puume. Come, then, we won't quarrel about Wor. How came you so qualified? the price; they're fine birds--Pray, what's your Kite. You must know, sir, I was born a gipsy, nanie, pretty creature ?

and bred among that crew, till I was ten years Rose. Rose, sir. My father is a farmer within old; there, I learned canting and lying: I was three short miles o' the town: we keep this mar- bought from my mother Cleopatra by a certain ket; I sell chickens, eggs, and butter, and my nobleman for three pistoles; there, I learned imbrother Bullock, there, sells corn.

pudence and pimping : I was turned off for Bul. Come, sister, haste ; we shall be late wearing my lord's linen, and drinking my lady's home.

[Whistles about the stage. ratafia, and turned bailiff's follower; there, Plume. Kite! [Tips him the wink, he returns I learned bullying and swearing : I at last got it.] Pretty Mrs Rose—you have; let me see; into the army, and there, I learned whoring and how many ?

drinking--so that if your worship pleases to Rose. A dozen, sir, and they are richly worth cast up the whole sum, viz. canting, lying, im

pudence, pimping, bullying, swearing, whoring, Bul. Come, Ruose; I sold fifty strake of bar- drinking, and a halberd, you will find the sun ley to-day in half this time; but you will higgle total amount to a recruiting serjeant. and higgle for a penny more than the commodity Wor. And pray, what induced you to turn is worth.

soldier? Rose. What's that to you, oaf? I can make Kite. Hunger and ambition. The fears of as much out of a groat as you can out of four starving, and hopes of a truncheon, led me along pence, I'm sure-The gentleman bids fair, and to a gentleman with a fair tongue, and fair periwhen I meet with a chapman I know how to wig, who loaded me with promises; but, 'gad, make the best of him-And so, sir, I say, for a it was the lightest load that ever I felt in my crown-piece, the bargain's yours.

life- -He promised to advance me, and inPlume. llere's a guinea, my dear!

deed he did so—to a garret in the Savoy. I Rose. I can't change your money, sir. asked him why he put me in prison ? he called

Plume. Indeed, indeed, but you can- -myne lying dog, and said I was in garrison ; and lodging is hard by, chicken! and we'll make indeed 'tis a garrison that may hold out till doomchange there. [Goes off; she follows him. sday before I should desire to take it again,

Kite. So, sir, as I was telling you, I have scen But here comes Justice Balance,


a crown.



Wor. But I engage he knows you, and every

body, at first sight; his impudence were a proBal. Here you, serjeant, where's your captain? digy, were not his ignorance proportionable. He here's a poor foolish fellow comes clamouring to has the most universal acquaintance of any man me with a complaint, that your captain has pres- living, for he won't be alone, and nobody will sed his sister. Do you know any thing of this keep him company twice: then he's a Cæsar matter, Worthy?

among the wonjen- - veni, vidi, vici, that's all. If Wor. Ha, ha, ha! I know his sister is gone he has but talked with the maid, he swears he with Plume to his lodging to sell him some has lain with the mistress : but the most surchickens.

prising part of his character is his memory, which Bal. Is that all ? the fellow's a fool.

is the most prodigious, and the most trifling, in Bul. I know that, an't like your worship; but the world. if your worship pleases to grant me a warrant to Bal. I have known another acquire so much bring her before your worship for fear of the by travel, as to tell you the names of most places worst.

in Europe, with their distances of miles, leagues, Bal. Thou'rt mad, fellow; thy sister's safe or hours, as punctually as a post-boy; but, for enough.

any thing else, as ignorant as the horse that carKite. I hope so, too.

[Aside. ries the mail. Wor. Hast thou no more sense, fellow, than Wor. This is your man, sir ; add but the trato believe, that the captain can list women? veller's privilege of lying, and even that he

Bul. I know not whether they list them, or abuses : this is the picture; behold the life. what they do with them; but I'm sure they carry

Enter BRAZEN. as many women as men with them out of the country.

Braz. Mr Worthy, I'm your servant, and so Bal. But how came you not to go along with forth-Hark'e, my dear! your sister?

Wor. Whispering, sir, before company, is not Bul. Lord, sir, I thought no more of her manners; and, when nobody's by, 'tis foolish. going, than I do of the day I shall die : but Braz. Company! mort de ma vie ! I beg the this gentleman here, not suspecting any hurt gentleman's pardon—who is he? neither, I believe-you thought no harm, friend, Wor. Ask him. did you?

Braz. So I will. My dear! I am your serKite. Lack-a-day, sir, not I-only that I be- vant, and so forth-Your name, my dear! lieve I shall marry her to-morrow.

Bal. Very laconic, sir. Bal. I begin to smell powder. Well, friend, Braz. Laconic! a very good name, truly! I but what did that gentleman with you?

have known several of the Laconics abroadBul. Why, sir, he entertained me with a Poor Jack Laconic ! he was killed at the battle fine story of a great sea-fight between the of Landen. I remember, that he had a blue Hungarians, I think it was, and the wild Irish. ribband in his hat that very day, and after he

Kite. And so, sir, while we were in the heat tell, we found a piece of neat's tongue in his of battle the captain carried off the baggage. | pocket.

Bal. Serjeant, go along with this fellow to Bal. Pray, sir, did the French attack us, or your captain, give him my humble service, and we them, at Landen? desire him to discharge the wench, though he has Braz. The French attack us! Oons, sir, are listed her.

you a jacobite? Bul. Ay, and if she ben't free for that, he Bal. Why that question ? shall have another man in her place.

Braz. Because none but a jacobite could Kite. Come, honest friend. You shall go to think that the French durst attack us--No, sir, my quarters, instead of the captain's. [Aside. we attacked them on them I have reason to re

[Ereunt Kite and BULLOCK. member the time, for I had two-and-twenty Bal. We must get this mad captam his con- horses killed under me that day. plement of men, and send him packing, else he'll Wor. Then, sir, you must have rid mighty over-run the country.

hard. Wor. You see, sir, how little he values your Bal. Or, perhaps, sir, like my countrymen, daughter's disdain.

you rid upon half a dozen horses at once. Bal. I like him the better : I was just such Braz. What do ye mean, gentlemen? I tell another fellow at his age :-But how goes your you they were killed, all torn to pieces by canaffair with Melinda?

non-shot, except six I staked to death upon the Wor. Very slowly. My mistress has got a nemy's chevaux de frise. captain, too, but such a captain!—as I live, yon- Bal

. Noble captain! may I crave your name? der he comes !

Bruz. Brazen, at your service. Bal. Who, that bluff fellow in the sash? I Bal. Oh, Brazen ! a very good name, I have don't know hiin,

kaown several of the Brazens abroad,


Most upropos


Wor. Do you know one captain Plume, sir? mil-yararality as if I had been the best lady in

Braz. Is he any thing related to Frank Plume the land. in Northamptonshire ?-Honest Frank ! many, Bal. Oh! he's a mighty familiar gentleman as many a dry bottle have we cracked hand to fist. can be. You must have known his brother Charles, that

Enter PLUME, singing. was concerned in the India Company; he married the daughter of Old Tonguepad, the master Plume. But it is not so in Chancery, a very pretty woman, only she With those that go squinted a little; she died in child-bed of her Through frost and snowfirst child, but the child survived : 'twas a daughter; but whether it was called Margaret or Mar- My maid with the milking-pail. gery, upon my soul I can't remember. (Looking

[Takes hold of Rose. on his watch.) But, gentlemen, I must meet a How, the justice ! then I'm arraigned, condemnlady, a twenty thousand pounder, presently, upon ed, and executed. the walk by the water-Worthy, your servant ; Bal. Oh, my noble captain! Laconic, yours.

[Exit BRAZ

Rose. And my noble captain, too, sir. Bal. If you can have so mean an opinion of Plume. 'Sdeath! child, are you mad ?-Mr Melinda as to be jealous of this fellow, I think Balance, I am so full of business about my reshe ought to give you cause to be so.

cruits, that I han't a moment's time tom I have Wor. I don't think she encourages him so just now three or four people to-much for gaining herself a lover, as to set up a Bal. Nay, captain, I must speak to yourival. Were there any credit to be given to his Rose. And so must I too, captain. words, I should believe Melinda had made him Plume. Any other time, sir-I cannot for my this assignation. I must go see, sir; you'll par-| life, sir don me.

TĚrit Wor. Bal. Pray, sirBal. Ay, ay, sir; you're a man of business Plume. Twenty thousand things—I wouldBut what have we got here?

but-now, sir, pray-Devil take me-I cannot -I must

[Breaks away. Enter Rose, singing.

Bal. Nay, I'll follow you.

[Erit. Bai. Rose. And I shall be a lady, a captain's lady, Rose. And I, too.

[Erit. and ride single upon a white horse with a star, upon a velvet side-saddle; and I shall go to Lon

SCENE II.-The walk by the Severn side. don, and see the tombs, and the lions, and the king and queen. Sir, an please your worship, I

Enter MELINDA, and her maid Lucy. have often seen your worship ride through our grounds a hunting, begging your worship’s par- Mel. And, pray, was it a ring, or buckle, or don. Pray, what may this lace be worth 'a-yard pendents, or knots ? or in what shape was the

[Shewing some lace. I almighty gold transformed, that has bribed you Bal. Right Mechlin, by this light! Where did so much in his favour? you get this lace, child?

Lucy. Indeed, madam, the last bribe I had Rose. No matter for that, sir; I came honest from the captain was only a small piece of Flanly by it.

ders' lace for a cap. Bal. I question it much.

[Aside. Mel. Ay, Flanders' lace is as constant a preRose. And see here, sir, a fine Turkey-shell sent from officers to their women, as something snuff-box, and fine mangere: see here. (Takes else is from their women to them. They every snuff affectedly.]. The captain learnt me how to year bring over a cargo of lace to cheat the king take it with an air.

of his duty and his subjects of their honesty. Bal. Oh ho! the captain ! now the murder's Lucy. They only barter one sort of prohibited out. And so the captain taught you to take it goods for another, madam. with an air?

Mel. Has any of them been bartering with you, Rose. Yes, and give it with an air, too. Will Mrs Pert, that you talk so like a trader? your worship please to taste my snuff?

Lucy. One would imagine, madam, by your [Offers the bo.r affectedly. concern for Worthy's absence, that you should Bal. You are a very apt scholar, pretty maid! use him better when he's with you. And pray, what did you give the captain, for Mel. Who told you, pray, that I was concernthese fine things ?

ed for his absence? I'm only vered that I have Rose. He's to have my brother for a soldier, had nothing said to me these two days: as one and two or three sweethearts I bave in the coun- may love the treason and hate the traitor. Oh! try; they shall all go with the captain. Oh, he's here comes another captain, and a rogue that the finest man, and the humblest withal. Would has the confidence to make love to me; but, inyou believe it, sir? he carried me up with him deed, I don't wonder at that, when he has the Dy lis owa chamber, with as much fam-mam- assurance to fancy hirself a fine gentleman.

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