which modern ladies call polite you see the booby husband sit in admiration at her wit. But let me now awhile survey rude Laughter seeming like to burst, Why should I ask of thee, my Muse, the sum of all their senseless prate, their innuendoes, hints, and slanders, their meanings lewd, and double entendres? Now comes the general scandal-charge; what some invent, the rest enlarge; and, “ Madam, if it be a lie, you have the tale as cheap as I: the prudes condemn the absent prudes: that women should be such coquettes: cries, "Lord the world is so censorious!" and Rufa, with her combs of lead, whispers that Sappho's hair is red; Aura, whose tongue you hear a mile hence, takes half a day in praise of silence: and Sylvia full of inward guilt, calls Amoret an arrant jilt. Now voices over voices rise, while each to be the loudest vies: they contradict, affirm, dispute, no single tongue one moment's mute; all mad to speak, and none to hearken, they set the very lap-dog barking; their chattering makes a louder din No. 80. 13 than fish-wives o'er a cup of gin: not school-boys at a barring-out rais'd ever such incessant rout: the jumbling particles of matter in chaos made not such a clatter; far less the rabble roar and rail, when drunk with sour election-ale. Nor do they trust their tongues alone, but speak a language of their own; can read a nod, a shrug, a look, far better than a printed book; convey a libel in a frown, and wink a reputation down; or, by the tossing of the fan, describe the lady and the man. 1 But see, the female club disbands, each twenty visits in her hands. Now all alone poor madam sits in vapours and hysteric fits: "And was not Tom this morning sent? I'd lay my life he never went: past six, and not a living soul! I might by this have won a vole." A dreadful interval of spleen! how shall we pass the time between ? "Here, Betty, let me take my drops; and feel my pulse, I know it stops; this head of mine, Lord, how it swims! and such a pain in all my limbs!" "Dear madam, try to take a nap."But now they hear a footman's rap: "Go, run and light the ladies up: it must be one before we sup." The table, cards, and counters set, and all the gamester-ladies met, but pawns her snuff-box, rings, and keys; This odious chair, how came I stuck in 't? your fan a moment, if you please. Nay, madam, give me leave to say, 't was you that threw the game away: Madam, you have no cause to flounce, I swear I saw you thrice renounce." "And truly, madam, I know when, instead of five, you scor'd me ten. Spadillo here has got a mark; a child may know it in the dark: I guess the hand: it seldom fails: I wish some folks would pair their nails." While thus they rail, and scold, and storm, it passes but for common form: but, conscious that they all speak true, and give each other but their due, it never interrupts the game, or makes them sensible of shame. how oft' they squabble, snarl, and cheat. |