Egyptians of their gold, becaufe, whatever good there is in any thing, is all thy own, and at the fame time I was enabled to efcape the evil which was in thofe books, and not to attend to the idols of Egypt.

However, I was hence admonished to retire into myfelf under thy guidance, and I was enabled to do it, because thou art my helper. I entered and faw with the eye of my mind the immutable light of the Lord, perfectly diftinct from fenfible light, not only in degree, but in kind. Nor was it in the fame manner above my mind, that oil is above water, or as heaven is above earth, but fuperior, because he made me, and I was inferior, because made by him. He who knows truth, knows this light, and he who knows it, knows eternity. Love knows it. O eternal truth, true love, and loving eternity! Thou art my God, I pant after thee day and night. And when I first knew thee, thou tookest me that I might fee that "to be" which I faw, and that I who faw, "as yet was not". Thou impreffedft repeatedly my infirm fight, thou shinedit on me vehemently, and I trembled with love and horror, and I found that I was far from thee in a region of diffimilitude, as if I heard thy voice from on high, "I am the food of those that are of full age, grow and thou shalt eat me." Nor fhalt thou change me into thyself, but fhalt thyself be changed into me. And I faid, Can God be nothing, fince he is neither diffufed

through

*He had been long corrupted by the Atheistic views which he had learned from the Manichees, and no wonder that he now found it fo difficult to conceive aright of God. There appears fomething divinely spiritual in the manner of his deliverance. That the Platonic books also should give the first occafion is very remarkable; though I apprehend the Latin tranflation which he faw, had improved on Plato, by the mixture of fomething fcriptural, according to the manner of the Ammonian philofophers

through finite nor infinite space? And thou criedft from afar, "I am, that I am *", and I heard with my heart and could not doubt. Nay, I fhould fooner doubt my own existence, than that that is not truth which is understood by the things that were made.

I now began to understand, that every creature of thine hand is in its nature good, and that univerfal nature is juftly called on to praise the Lord for his goodness. The evil which I fought after has no pofitive existence; were it a substance, it would be good, because every thing individually, as well as all things collectively, are good. Evil appeared to be a want of agreement in fome parts to others. My opinion of the two independent principles, in order to account for the origin of evil, was without foundation, Evil is not a thing to be created; let good things only forfake their juft place, office, and order; and then, though all be good in their nature, evil, which is only a privative, abounds, and produces pofitive mifery. I asked what was iniquity, and I found it to be no fubftance, but a perverfity of the will which declines. from thee the Supreme fubftance to lower things, and cafts away its internal excellences, and fwells with pride externally.

And I wondered that I now began to have a defire after thee, and no longer took a phantafm for thee. I was not urgent to enjoy thee my God, for though I was hurried toward thee by thy beauty, I was presently carried downward from thee by my own weight, and I could no longer fin without groaning; the weight was carnal habit.

The me

mory

↑ Perhaps a more just account of the manner in which evil is produced can fcarce be given; it is certainly well calculated to confute the principles of Manicheism.

mory

of thee was with me, and I did not doubt of the reality of that divine effence to which I fhould adhere, but of myself being ever brought into a ftate of fpiritual exiftence. I faw thy invifible things by the things which were made, but I could not fix my attention to thee; my corruption exerting itself, I returned to my ufual habits, but I could not shake off the fragrance of memory, fmelling the true good, regretting the loss, and impotent to tafte and enjoy *.

I now fought the way of obtaining ftrength to enjoy thee, and found it not, till I embraced the mediator between God and man, the man Christ Jefus, WHO IS ABOVE ALL, GOD BLESSED FOR EVER, calling and faying, I am the way, the truth, and the life. For the word was made flesh, that thy wisdom might fuckle our infancy. But I did not yet in humility hold the humble Jefus my Lord, nor know the myfterious power of his weaknefs, that he might humble, nourish, and at length exalt heavy laden fouls. Far other thoughts had I conceived of Chrift, I had viewed him only as a man of unequalled wifdom. But, of the mystery of the word made flesh, I had not formed the leaft fufpicion. Only I concluded from the things written of him, that he must have had an human foul. Alypius indeed had conceived, that the catholic

* In many true converts this was their ftate exactly, while God was turning them from darknefs to light. Such a sense of God, as never before was known, is attained, sufficient to conquer the falfe and injurious thoughts of him which had been he fore imbibed, be they what they may. But the man feels his impotence with refpect to good, and he muft, with Auguftine, ftruggle and endure for a time, till the ftrength of Jefus is perfected in his weakness.

+ Here is a clear teftimony to the authenticity and genuine interpretation of that remarkable text, Rom. ix. 5, the light of which has been fo peculiarly offenfive to those, whom fashionable herefies in our age have darkened.

catholic faith denied him the spirit of a man, and was a longer time prejudiced against the truth, because he confounded the church with the Apollinarian herefy. As to myself, I was not till fometime after taught to distinguish the truth from the opinion of Photinus; but there must be herefies, that they who are of the truth may be made manifeft.

But when by reading the Platonic books, I began to conceive of the immaterial infinite Supreme, I talked of these things like a perfon of experience, but was perishing, becaufe void of Chrift. I defired to appear wife, was puffed up with knowledge, and wept not. Love, on the foundation of humility, which is Chrift Jefus, was to me unknown. The books of Plato knew not this; ftill would I remark the providence of my God in leading me to study them, before I fearched the Scriptures, that I might remember how I had been affected by them, and when afterwards my wounds should be healed by thy hand through the Scriptures, I might diftinguish the difference between prefumption and confeffion, between those who see whither we ought to go, without knowing the means, and those who fee the way itfelf leading to the actual inheritance. Had I been informed at firft by thy Scriptures, and thou hadft endeared thyfelf to me in their familiarity, an after-acquaintance with Plato might either have fhaken my faith, or raised in me an undue estimation of the worth of his writings.

With eagerness, therefore, I took up the volume of infpiration, and particularly the apoftle Paul, and those questions, in which he once had feemed inconfiftent

* Which feems to have been the fame with Sabellianifm. It may be remarked here, how depraved the taste of man is, and how much and how long he will fuffer before he give himself fimply to the inftruction of God's own words,

inconfiftent with himself, and the law, and the prophets, were now no more. There now appeared one uniform tenour of godlinefs, and I learnt to rejoice with trembling, and I took up the book, and found whatever truth I had read there, is faid with this recommendation of thy grace, that he who fees fhould not sO GLORY AS IF HE HAD NOT RECEIVED, not only that which he fees, but the power of feeing itself *. For what hath he, which he hath not received? And he who cannot fee afar, fhould however walk in the way, by which he may come, fee, and lay hold. For though he be delighted WITH THE LAW OF GOD IN THE

INWARD MAN, YET WHAT SHALL HE DO WITH THE OTHER LAW IN HIS MEMBERS WARRING AGAINST THE LAW OF HIS MIND, AND BRINGING HIM INTO CAPTIVITY TO THE LAW OF

SIN, WHICH IS IN HIS MEMBERS? For thou, Lord, art juft, but we have finned and dealt wickedly, and thy hand is heavy upon us, and we are justly delivered up to the power of the old finner who has the power of death, because he perfuaded us to follow his will, by which he did not stand in the truth. Who fhall deliver us from the body of this death, but thy grace through Jefus Chrift our Lord, in whom the prince of this world could find nothing worthy of death, and who by his death blotted out the hand writing that was against us? The Platonic books had nothing of this, nor the face of piety, the tears of confeffion, the facrifice of a troubled fpirit, a broken and contrite heart, falvation,

* He means the ineftimable privilege of fpiritual understanding, through his want of which St. Paul had long appeared to him contradictory, confufed, and difgufting. He is well qualified to recommend to others the value of divine teaching, who like Auguftine, is experiencing it in himself. Nothing teaches humility like fuch experience.

+ Rom. vii.