-y!'

noaunce upon 'er. Waal, he rubbed in his magnifying-glass, and screwtenized 'er, and says he, 'That's the most valuble watch I ever seed inside o' Omaha, but she warnts cleanin' most When I heerd that, I expressed myself like a disgusted night-hawk, and snatched 'er aout o' his hands, and brought 'er raound here to ponder over. What I wish to inquire is, Stranger (and I ask for information), how many times a watch thet 's full o' invisible jewills has to be cleaned aout in the course o' two months? I never owned one afore, but if the jewills nee-sessiates that expense, as I'm a pore man, had n't I better have 'em punched aout, don't you think?"

And I advised him to have the "jewills" removed immediately, and sold in Europe for the most they would bring.

BOTHERSOME PEOPLE.

ASTER SLOWWORM, the grammarian, on glancing at the title of this paper,

will affirm, without contradiction, that the word bothersome cannot be found in the dictionary. I retort on our verbal patriarch the equally truthful remark that neither does the word enthusiasm exist in Shakespeare! And just there I leave Master Slowworm's objection.

There are loose superfluous mortals who seem to have come into the world on a special mission to break the Ten Commandments; and they would do it all at one blow, if possible. But I do not reckon them among the bothersome people planet. The law kindly looks after those

of our

who thus meddle wickedly with certain portions of the Decalogue, and deals justly with them all. But the botherers in life escape unpunished, and go to their graves unbranded with infamy. Their tombstones are often, nay, commonly, placed in the most respectable corners of the graveyard; and I have found, not infrequently, the word virtue engraven on their marbles. Annoyances, not sins, have been their offences against man, woman, and children kind; and it was in little things they performed their abominations, while sojourning above ground.

In yonder breezy mound sleeps all that was mortal of Mr. Benjamin Borax. The inscription above his bones does not record all his worldly accomplishments. He had one trait which the stone-cutter has omitted; and I refer to it, in passing, simply in justice to B. B.'s remains. Having had his acquaintance forty long and tedious years, I am qualified to speak feelingly of the man; and I do it without a particle of malice, or exultation at his removal from my "list of friends." But I will say that, while he was living,