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you see no duft or cobwebs come out o' my mouth : do you? you'd ha' me gone, would you ?
Lit. No, but you were in haste e'en now, mr. Numps.
Waf. What an' I were ? so I am still, and yet I will stay too; meddle you with your match, your Win there, she has as little wit as her husband, it seems : I have others to talk to.
Lit. She's my match indeed, and as little wit as I, good!
Waf. We ha' been but a day and a half in town, gentlemen, 'tis true ; and yesterday i'the afternoon we walk'd London, to shew the city to the gentlewoman he shall marry, mistress Grace; but afore I will endure such another half day with him, I'll be drawn with a good gib-cat, through the great pond at home, as his uncle Hodge was! Why, we could not meet that heathen thing all the day, but staid him : he would name you all the signs over, as he went, aloud : and where he spy'd a parrot or a monkey, there he was pitch'd, with all the little long-coats about him, male and female ; no getting him away! I thought he would ha' run mad o'the black boy in Bucklers-bury, that takes the scurvy, roguy tobacco there.
Lit. You say true, master Numps: there's such a one indeed.
Waf. It's no matter whether there be or no, what's that to you?
Quar. He will not allow of John's reading at any hand.
S CE N E V.
Cokes, Mistress Over-do, Waspe, Grace, Quarlous, Win
wife, Little-wit, Win.
Cok: 0 Numps! are you here, Numps ? look where I am, Numps ! and mistress Grace too! nay, do not
look angerly, Numps : my fister is here and all, I do not come without her.
Waf. What the mischief do you come with her? or she with you?
Cok. We came all to seek you, Numps.
Waf. To seek me? why, did you all think I was loft, or run away with your fourteen shillings worth of small ware here? or that I had chang'd it i' the fair for hobby-horses ? S'precious to seek me!
Over.Nay, good mr. Numps, do you shew discretion, though he be exorbitant (as mr. Over-do says) and't be but for conservation of the
peace. Waf. Marry gip, goody She-justice, mistress Frenchhood! turd i' your teeth, and turd i' your Frenchhood's teeth too, to do you service, do you see ? must you quote your Adam to me! you think you are madam Regent still, mistress Over-do; when I am in place ? no such matter I assure you, your reign is out, when I am in, dame.
Over. I am content to be in abeyance, sir, and be govern'd by you; fo should he too, if he did well; but 'twill be expected you should also govern your passions.
Waf. Will’t so, forsooth? good Lord! how sharp you are, with being at Beth'lem yesterday! Whetstone has set an edge upon you, has he?
Over. Nay, if you know not what belongs to your dignity, I do yet to mine.
Waf. Very well then.
Cok. Is this the licence, Numps ? for love's fake let me fee't ; I never saw a licence.
Waf. Did you not so ? why, you shall not see't then.
Cok. An' you love me, good Numps.
Was. Sir, I love you,and yet I do not love you i'these fooleries; set your heart at reft, there's nothing in't but hard words; and what would you see't for?
Cok. I would see the length and the breadth on't, that's all; and I will see't now, so I will.
Waf. You sha'not see it here.
the case here.
Waf. Why, do so; a man must give way to him a little in trifles, gentlemen. These are errors, diseases of youth ; which he will mend when he comes to judg. ment and knowledge of matters. I pray you conceive fo, and I thank you. And I pray you pardon him, and I thank you again.
Quar. Well, this dry-nurse, I say still, is a delicate
Win. And I am, for the coffet his charge ! did you ever see a fellow's face more accuse him for an ass ?
Quar. Accuse him? it confesses him one without accusing. What pity 'tis yonder wench should marry such a Cokes?
Win-w. 'Tis true.
Quar. She seems to be discreet, and as sober as she is handsome.
Win-w. I, and if you mark her, what a restrain'd scorn she casts upon all his behaviour and speeches?
Cok. Well, Numps, I am now for another piece of business more, the Fair, Numps, and then
Waf. Bless me! deliver me, help, hold me! the Fair.
Cok. Nay, never fidge up and down, Numps, and vex it felf. I am resolute Bartholomew in this; I'll make no suit on't to you ; 'twas all the end of my journey indeed, to shew mrs. Grace my Fair. I callit my Fair, because of Bartholomew: you know my name is Bartholomew, and Bartholomew Fair.
Lit. That was mine afore, gentlemen : this morning. I had that i' faith upon his licence, believe me, there he comes after me.
Quar. Come, John, this ambitious wit of yours (I am afraid) will do you no good i' the end.
Lit. No? why, fir ?
Quar. You grow so insolent with it, and over-doing, John ; that if you look not to it, and tie it up, it will bring you to some obscure place in time, and there 'twill leave you.
Win-w. Do not trust it too much, John, be more sparing, and use it but now and then ; a wit is a dan. gerous thing in this age; do not over-buy it.
Lit. Think you fo, gentlemen? I'll take heed on't hereafter.
Win. Yes, do, John.
Cok. A pretty little soul, this fame mrs. Little-wit, would I might marry her.
Gra. So would I, or any body else, so I might scape you.
Cok. Numps, I will see it, Numps, 'tis decreed : never be melancholy for the matter.
Waf. Why, see it, sir, fee it, do, see it! who hinders you? why do you not go see it? 'lid see it.
Cok. The Fair, Numps, the Fair.
Waf. Would the Fair, and all the drums and rattles in't, were i' your belly for me : they are already i' your brain : he that had the means to travel your head now, should meet finer sights than any are i' the Fair, and make a finer voyage on't; to see it all hung with cockle-shells, pebbles, fine wheat-straws, and here and there a chicken's feather, and a cob-web.
Quar. Good faith, he looks, methinks, an' you mark him, like one that were made to catch flies, wich his fir Cranion-legs.
Win-w. And his Numps, to flap 'em away.
Waf. God be w' you, sir, there's your bee in a box, and much good do't you.
Cok. Why, your friend, and Bartholomew; an' you be so contumacious.
Quar. What mean you, Numps ?
Over. You will not let him go, brother, and lose him?
Cok. Who can hold that will away? I had rather lose him than the Fair, I wusse.
Waf. You do not know the inconvenience, gentlemen, you persuade to, nor what trouble I have with him in these humours. If he go to the Fair, he will buy of every thing to a baby there, and houshold-Ituff for that too If a leg or an arm on him did not grow on, he would lose it i' the press. Pray heav'n I bring him off with one stone! and then he is such a ravener after fruic! you will not believe what a coil I had t'other day to compound a business between a katern-pear woman, and him, about snatching! 'tis intolerable, gentlemen.
Win-w. O! but you must not leave him now to these hazards, Numps.
Waf. Nay, he knows too well I will not leave him, and that makes him presume: well, sir, will you go now? if you have such an itch i' your feet, to foot it to the Fair, why do you stop, am I your tarriers ? go, will you go? sir, why do you not go
? Cok. 0 Numps ! have I brought you about ? come mistress Grace, and sister, I am resolute Bat, i' faith, still.
Gra. Truly, I have no such fancy to the Fair, nor ambition to see it, there's none goes thither of any quality or fashion.
Cok. O Lord, fir! you fhall pardon me, mistress Grace, we are enow of ourselves to make it a faThion; and for qualities, let Numps alone, he'll find qualities.
Quar. What a rogue in apprehension is this ! to understand her language no better.
Win-w. I, and offer to marry her. Well, I will leave the chace of my widow for to-day, and directly