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to the Fair. These Ries cannot, this hot season, but engender us excellent creeping sport.
Quar. A man that has but a spoonful of brain would think so. Farewel, John.
Lit. Win, you see 'tis in fashion to go to the Fair, Win ; we must to the Fair too, you and I, Win. I have an affair i' the Fair, Win, a puppet-play of mine own making : say nothing that I writ for the motion man, which you must see, Win.
Win. I would I might, John ; but my mother will never consent to such a prophane motion, she will call it.
Lit. Tut, we'll have a device, a dainty one: (now Wit, help at a pinch, good Wit come, come good Wit, and 't be thy will.) I have it, Win, I have it i'faith, and 'tis a fine one. Win, long to eat of a pig, sweet Win, i' the Fair ; do you see, i' the heart o’ the Fair, not at Pye-corner. Your mother will do any thing, Win, to satisfy your longing, you know ; pray thee long presently; and be lick o' the sudden, good Win. I'll go in and tell her; cut thy lace i' the mean time, and play the hypocrite, sweet Win.
Win. No, I'll not make me unready for it. I can be hypocrite enough, though I were never so straitlac'd.
Lit. You say true, you have been bred i' the family, and brought up to't. Our mother is a moft elect hypocrite, and has maintain'd us all this seven year with it, like gentlefolks.
Win. 1, let her alone, John, she is not a wise wilful widow for nothing ; nor a fanctified sister for a song. And let me alone too, I ha' somewhat o' the mother in nie, you shall see ; fetch her, ferch her; ah, ah.
Pure-craft, Win, Little-wit, Busy, Solomon. Pure. Now, the blaze of the beauteous discipline, fright away this evil from our house! how now, Winthe-fight, child; how do you? sweet child, speak to me.
Win. Yes, forsooth.
Pure. Look up, sweet Win-the-fight, and suffer not the enemy to enter you at this door, remember that your education has been with the purest; what polluted one was it, that nam'd first the unclean beast, pig, to you, child ?
Win. Uh, uh.
Lit. Not I, o' my sincerity, mother; she long'd above three hours e'er the would let me know it ; who was it, Win ?
Win. A prophane black thing with a beard, John.
Pure. O! resist it, Win-the-fight, it is the tempter, the wicked tempter, you may know it by the Aeshly motion of pig; be strong against it, and its foul temptations, in these assaults, whereby it broacheth flesh and blood, as it were on the weaker side, and
pray against its carnal provocations; good child, sweet child, pray.
Lit. Good mother, I pray you, that she may eat some pig, and her belly full too; and do not you cast away your own child, and perhaps one of mine, with your tale of the tempter : how do you do, Win ? are you not fick ?
Win. Yes, a great deal, John, (uh, uh.)
Pure. What shall we do? call our zealous brother Busy hither, for his faithful fortification in this charge of the adversary; child, my dear child, you shall eat pig; be comforted, my sweet child.
Win. 1, but i' the Fair, mother.
Pure. I mean i' the Fair, if it can be any way made or found lawful. Where is our brother Busy? will he not come ? Look up, child.
Lit. Presently, mother, as soon as he has cleans'd his beard. I found him fast by the teeth, i' the cold turkey-pie i' the cupboard, with a great white loaf on his left hand, and a glass of Malmsey on his right.
Pure. Slander not the brethren, wicked one.
Pure. O brother Busy! your help here, to edify and raise us up in a scruple; my daughter Win-thefight is visited with a natural disease of women, callid A longing to eat pig.
Lit. I sir, a Bartholomew pig; and in the Fair.
Pure. And I would be satisfied from you, religiousywise, whether a widow of the fanctified assembly, or a widow's daughter, may commit the act without offence to the weaker sisters.
Bus. Verily, for the disease of longing, it is a disease, a carnal disease, or appetite, incident to women : and as it is carnal, and incident, it is natural, very natural : now pig, it is a meat, and a meat that is nourishing and may be longed for, and so consequently eaten ; it may be eaten ; very exceeding well eaten: but in the Fair, and as a Bartholomew pig, it cannot be eaten ; for the very calling it a Bartholomew pig, and to eat it so, is a spice of idolatry, and you make the Fair no better than one of the high-places. This, I take it, is the state of the question: a highplace.
Lit. I, but in state of necessity, place should give place, mr. Busy. (I have a conceit left yet.)
Pure. Good brother, Zeal-of-the-land, think to make it as lawful as you can.
Lit. Yes, sir, and as soon as you can; for it must be, fir : you see the danger my little wife is in, fir.
Purec. Truly, I do love my child dearly, and I would not have her miscarry, or hazard her first-fruits, if it might be otherwise.
Bus. Surely, it may be otherwise, but it is subject to construction, subject, and hath a face of offence with the weak, a great face, a foul face; but that face may have a veil put over it, and be shadowed as it were ; it may be eaten, and in the Fair, I take it, in a booth, the tents of the wicked: the place is not much, not very much, we may be religious in the midst of the prophane, so it be eaten with a reformed mouch, with fobriety, and humbleness ; not gorg’d in with gluttony or greediness, there's the fear : for, should the go there, as taking pride in the place, or delight in the unclean dressing, to feed the vanity of the eye, or luft of the palate, it were not well, it were not fit, it were abominable, and not good.
Lit. Nay, I knew that afore, and told her on't ; but courage, Win, we'll be humble enough, we'll seek out the homeliest booth i' the Fair, that's certain ; rather than fail, we'll eat it o' the ground:
Purec. I, and I'll go with you my self, Win-thefight, and my brother Zeal-of-the-land shall with us too, for our better confolation.
Win. Uh, uh.
Job. I, and Salomon too, Win, (the more the merrier.) Win, we'll leave Rabby Busy in a booth. Sa.. lomon, my cloke.
Sal. Here, fir.
I will eat exceedingly, and prophely; there may be a good use made of it too, now I think on't : by the publick eating of swine's flesh, to profess our hate and lothing of Judaism, whereof the brethren stand taxed. I will therefore eat, yea I will eat exceedingly,
Lit. Good i' faith, I will eat beartily too, because.. VOL. III.
I will be no Jew, I could never away with that stiffnecked generation : and truly, I hope my little one will be like me, that cries for pig for the mother's belly.
Bus. Very likely, exceeding likely, very exceeding likely.
Justice Overdo. W
for the commonwealth ! defy all the world, Adam Overdo, for a disguise, and all story; for thou haft fitted thy self, I swear. Fain would I meet the Linceus now, that eagle's eye, that piercing Epidaurian serpent (as my Quint. Horace calls him) that could discover a justice of peace (and lately of the Quorum) under this covering. They may have seen many a fool in the habit of a justice; but never till now, a justice in the habit of a fool. Thus must we do though, that wake for the publick good; and thus hath the wise magistrate done in all ages. There is a doing of right out of wrong, if the way be found. Never shall I enough commend a worthy worshipful man, sometime a capical member of this city, for his high wisdom in this point, who would take you now the habit of a porter, now of a carman, now of the dog-killer, in this month of August ; and in the winter, of a seller of tinder-boxes : and what would he do in all (these shapes ? marry, go you into every alehousc, and down into every cellar; measure the length of puddings, take the gage of black pots and cans, I, and custards, with a stick; and their circumference with a thread; weigh the loaves of bread on