THE

ALCHEMIST.

THE ARGUMENT.

T be sickness bot, a mafter quit, for fear,
H is house in town, and left one fervant there,
E afe bim corrupted, and gave means to know

A Cheater, and his punk; who now brought low,
Leaving their narrow practice, were become
Cos'ners at large; and only wanting fome
House to set up, with him they bere contract,
Each for a bare, and all begin to act.
Much company they draw, and much abuse,
I n cafting figures, telling fortunes, news,
Selling of flies, flat bawdry with the ftone;
Till it, and they, and all in fume are gone.

F

PROLOGUE.

Ortune, that favours fools, these two short hours
We wish away, both for your fakes and ours,
Judging fpectators; and defire in place,

To th' author juftice, to our felves but grace.
Our scene is London, 'cause we would make known,
No countries mirth is better than our own:

No

1 The ALCHEMIST.] By this expreffion is here meant, one who pretends to the knowledge of what is called the philofophers ftone,

A 3

which

No clime breeds better matter for your whore,
Bawd, fquire, impoftor, many perfons more,
Whose manners, now call'd humours, feed the ftage;
And which have ftill been fubject for the rage
Or fpleen of comic writers. Tho' this pen
Did never aim to grieve, but better men;
Howe'er the age he lives in doth endure

The vices that she breeds, above their cure.
But when the wholfome remedies are sweet,
And in their working gain and profit meet,
He hopes to find no fpirit fo much difeas'd,
But will with fuch fair correctives be pleas'd:
For here he doth not fear who can apply.
If there be any that will fit fo nigh
Unto the stream, to look what it doth run,

They fhall find things, they'ld think, or wish, were

They are fo natural follies, but so shown,

[done; As even the doers may fee, and yet not own.

which had the faculty of tranfmuting bafer metals into gold. The profeffors of the art of chemiftry are themfelves (as well as the critics) not entirely agreed about the meaning and etymology of the word: Menage, who affents to Bochart, derives it from an Arabic term, fignifying the occult fcience; and Julius Firmicus, who lived in the time of Conftantine, is faid to be the first writer who uses the word Alchymia. But if the curious reader would be more fully informed of the origin and progrefs of chemiflry, I refer him to the hiftory of it, prefixed to Boerhaave's Chemistry, publifhed by Dr Shaw. But with regard to our poet, in the choice of his fubject he was happy; for the age was then extremely addicted to the study of chemistry, and favourable to the profeffors of it. The following comedy was therefore no unfeafonable fatire upon the reigning foible; fince among the few real artists. there was undoubtedly a far greater number of impoftors. There was alfo at this time a particular controverfy on foot, with the famous Dr. Anthony, about his Aurum Fotabile, which was warmly agitated by the members of the faculty; and we fhall find that our poet alludes to this dispute in fome paffages of the play.

ACT

ACT I. SCENE I.

Face, Subtle, Dol Common.

Face. Buy Thy worst. I fart at thee.

Dol. Ha' you your wits? why gentlemen! for loveFac. Sirrah, I'll ftrip you

Sub. What to do? lick figs

Out at my-

Fac. Rogue, rogue, out of all your fleights'.
Dol. Nay, look ye, fovereign, general, are you mad-

[men? Sub. O, let the wild fheep loofe. I'll gum your filks With good strong-water, an' you come.

Dol. Will you have

The neighbours hear you? will you betray all?
Heark, I hear fome body.

Fac. Sirrah

'Fac. Sirrah, I'll ftrip you-Sub. What to do? lick figs Out at my -Fac. Rogue, rogue, out of all your fleights.] Our poet could not poffibly have chofen a happier incident to open his play with. Inftead of opening with a dull narration, you have action; and fuch action too, as cannot poflibly be fupposed to happen at any other time, than this very prefent time. Two rogues with their punk, are introduced quarreiling, and juft fo much of their fecrets is discovered to the audience, as is fufficient for the audience at prefent to know. The reader, perhaps, too is to be informed, that our learned comedian does not deal in vulgar English expreffions, but in vulgar Attic or Roman expreffionsfart at thee, T winas xalaxieden, paupertati oppedere. Ariftophanes in Plut. v. 618. πινιας καλαπέρδειν, and Horace, the polite Horace, did not think himself too delicate for this phrafe: Vin' tu Judæis oppedere curtis. Lib. I. S. 9. ver. 70. What to do? lick figs out at my The allufion here will be very obvious to thofe who have read the story of the punishment inflicted on the inhabitants of Milan by the emperor Frederic Barbaroffa. The facetious Rabelais relates it, B. IV. chap. 45.

Sub. I fhall mar

All that the taylor has made, if you approach.

Fac. You moft notorious whelp, you infolent flave, Dare you do this?

Sub. Yes faith, yes faith.

Fac. Why, who

Am I, my mungril? who am I?

Sub. I'll tell you,

Since you know not your felf

Fac. Speak lower, rogue.

Sub. Yes, you were once (time's not long paft) the

[good, Honeft, plain, livery-three-pound-thrum, that kept Your mafter's worship's houfe here in the friers,

For the vacations

Fac. Will you be fo loud?

Sub. Since, by my means, translated suburb-captain.
Fac. By your means, doctor dog?

Sub. Within man's memory,

All this I fpeak of.

Fac. Why, I pray you, have I

Been countenanc'd by you, or you by me?
Do but collect, fir, where I met you firft.

Sub. I do not hear well.

Fac. Not of this, I think it.

But I fhall put you in mind, fir; at Pie corner,
Taking your meal of fteam in, from cooks ftalls;"
Where, like the father of hunger, you did walk
Piteously coftive, with your pinch'd-horn-nofe,
And your complexion of the roman wash,
Stuck full of black and melancholick worms,
Like powder-corns fhot at th' artillery-yard.

Sub. I wish you could advance your voice a little.
Fac. When you went pinn'd up in the feveral rags
Yo' had rak'd and pick'd from dunghills, before day;
Your feet in mouldy flippers, for your kibes
A felt of rug, and a thin thredden cloke,

That

That scarce would cover your no-buttocks

Sub. So, fir!

Fac. When all your alchemy, and your algebra,
Your minerals, vegetals, and animals,

Your conjuring, coz'ning, and your dozen of trades,
Could not relieve your corps with so much linen.
Would make you tinder, but to see a fire;
I ga' you count'nance, credit for your coals,
Your ftills, your glaffes, your materials;
Built you a fornace, drew you customers,
Advanc'd all your black arts; lent you, befide,
A house to practise in

Sub. Your mafter's house?

Fac. Where you have ftudied the more thriving skill Of bawd'ry fince.

Sub. Yes, in your mafter's houfe.

You and the rats here kept poffeffion.

Make it not ftrange. I know yo' were one could keep
The buttry-hatch ftill lock'd, and fave the chippings,
Sell the dole beer to aqua-vitæ men,

The which, together with your christmass vails
At poft and pair, your letting out of counters,
Made you a pretty stock, fome twenty marks,
And gave you credit to converfe with cobwebs,
Here, fince your miftrefs' death hath broke
Fac. You might talk foftlier, rascal.
Sub. No, you fcarabe,

2

I'll thunder you in pieces: I will teach you
How to beware to tempt a fury again,

That carries tempeft in his hand and voice.
Fac. The place has made you valiant.

Sub. No, your clothes.

up

Thou vermin, have I ta'en thee out of dung,

2

No, you SCARABE,

house.

I'll thunder you in pieces.] You fearabe--the beetle bred in dung, and corrupted filth: fo a little lower he explains the phrate, Thou vermin, have I ta'en thee out of dung?"

"

So