GASCON WIT.

The new King of Sweden is a Gascon, of whom there are as many jests told as of the Irish with us. The following are specimens. A Gascon said, "I have so warlike an air, that when I look into a glass I am afraid of myself!"-Another Gascon, whose valet was putting on his cuirass for battle one day, said to him, "Put that on behind, for my heart whispers that I shall run away to-day."-A third, who used to boast of his courage, did actually fly from the field; a Liegeois asked him where was his bravery? "In my leg," answered the hero.-A messenger came to a Gascon in the middle of the night, to inform him of the death of his father; " Ah, me!" said he, "how dreadfully afflicted shall I be when I awake to-morrow morning! P

SINGULAR MODE OF TAXATION.

The manner in which taxes are imposed by an African Prince is somewhat singular. The King of Congo sometimes walks out on a day when there is a high wind. He then puts his bonnet over one ear only, and when it is blown off by the wind, he imposes a tax on those subjects who live in the quarter from which the wind blew.

Poetry.

STANZAS.

There was a morn when owre the sea,

The clouds hung thick o' mirky hue;

It wasna bright-it cou'dna be

For the sun wasna seen, nor the welkin blue.

Yet, tho' deep were the clouds in the heaven that low'rt,
They had a wee rim o' brightenin' grey;

And the heart grew warm as the thought cam' owr't,
That the sun would soon come, and the clouds fly away.

There was a morn o' life-'twas mine-
That rose o'erhung wi' clouds o' sorrow;
It wasna bright, for the calm sunshine

Of Peace had fled that weary morrow.

But, there was a wee light came-a beam and nae mair
And it fell like a dream o' the blest on my brow;
And it spake to my heart that was dark wi' despair,
Of its soon brightenin' up-and it's brightenin' now.
Greenock, 1818,

;

SONG.>

There is a heart that smiles or grieves
Unknown, as thou dost joy or pine,
A bosom that in silence heaves

Responsive to each sigh of thine.

The pangs I bore, the pangs I bear,
No traitor tear of mine shall tell,
My silence may alone declare

I lov'd thee-O! how long, how well!
And let the love of others dwell,

But where the light of hope is beaming-
Mine, its own light unquenchable,
On more than midnight gloom is streaming.

There, yet undimm'd, unchill'd, serene,
Amid surrounding cold and gloom,
Deep in my heart, it lives unseen,
Like sunshine lingering on a tomb

I once possess'd a friend, a wife, a horse,
And I was happy, as a thing of course,
When one fine day, my dearest friend rode out-
In fact, rode off-taking no leave in life,-

To do him justice, taking nothing but

My horse and wife.

I raved, and swore, and caper'd half the dayAt last, e'er night, the tempest died away, And before supper- time I was in case to

Thank the good gods the matter was no worseFor faith the honest varlet had the grace to

Send back my horse!

EPITAPH, FROM MELEAGER.

Hail, universal Mother! Lightly rest

On that dead form,

Which, when with life invested, ne'er oppress'd Its fellow worm.

MONTHLY REGISTER.

FOREIGN COMPENDIUM,

EAST INDIES.

Interesting accounts have just been received from India. Our readers will recollect that about twelve months ago, hostilities were commenced against the Peishwa, one of the Mahratta Princes, who instigated himself by an intriguing minister named Trimbukjee Dainglia, endeavoured to excite other of the native chiefs to a simultaneous revolt from British dominion. Under his secret protection, and within his territories Trimbukjee was employed raising an army, when Mr. Elphinstone, our resident at Poonah, the capital of the Peishwa, having received intimation of his designs, by a bold and prompt manoeuvre collected a force sufficient to take Poonah by surprise, and coinpel the Peishwa, who was made prisoner, to sign a treaty which seemed likely to check his rebellious disposition, as it deprived him of the means of employing it effectively. Trimbukjee was however still at large, and, after no great lapse of time, succeeded in bringing a force into the field amounting to 40,000 men, to rescue the Peishwa from his degradation. With this army he marched on the capital, which he appears to have reached, before any British troops were directed against him. On the 5th November, however, he was fought with, and routed by Colonel Smith, who had about 4000 men under his command; and again on the 17th by the same officer. The result of the second action was the surrender of Poonah, and the flight of the Peishwa and Trimbukjee, with the remnant of their army towards some strong hold in the south, whither they would be pursued, and their downfall rendered complete; for it cannot be doubted that the Peishwa is doomed to add another to the catalogue of the Princes of Hindostan whose writhings under a foreign yoke have precipitated them into ruin, and converted their nominal freedom into real captivity. The facts, just noticed, with others connected with the subject, are given us in a ministerial paper, (the Courier) with all the coolness which it is customary to use when speaking of Indian acquisitions. It does not attempt to conceal that our Government in India was seeking a pretext to deprive the Peishwa of his territories, or at least has with a laudable avidity availed itself of the pretext he gave. Poonah, and the country along the west coast, it is conjectured will be annexed to our possessions, and the Mahratta Prince, Scindiah, who appears to have been playing fast and loose with us, as well as with the Peishwa, but ultimately to have aided us, will have a slice of the dismembered territory thrown to him as the reward of his good behaviour. This was the way in which Bonaparte used to go to work, after the labour of conquest was finished-and many a hearty reviling, as he well merited, did he receive for his contempt of the attributes of justice and mercy. But then Napoleon was an usurper, and the scene of his triumphs was not in

India. Our readers, we trust, will excuse the triteness of this observatíon for the sake of its truth, and when they feel themselves swelling with a virtuous indignation against the aggrandising views with which other nations are apt to be infected, we hope they will recollect that we too have our failings that way-when they can be exercised with impunity.

FRANCE.

The last accounts from Paris announce that the Budget for this year had been partly laid before the Chamber of Deputies. The estimates of the expenditure were incomplete, but it appears, that about 41 millions will be required for the year. It is again rumoured, probably for the fiftieth time, that the army of occupation will quit France during the ensuing Summer.-The Duke of Wellington is said to be busily engaged arbitrating in the matter of the pecuniary claims against France, and to be lavishly exercising the pruning knife, with a tender regard to the interests of his most Christian Majesty. His sympathy is said to have been peculiarly fatal to the petty states which had demands upon France. Prussia, however, so far as regards herself, does not participate in these kindly feelings. The real offender who attempted the life of the Duke of Wellington, is arrested in Paris ; he is a desperado of the name Cantillon, and is said to have been employed by some French refugees in the Netherlands. An expose of the whole affair is expected shortly. The splendid theatre at Paris, called the Odeon, has been destroyed by fire.

WEST INDIES.

We have an account by way of Paris, of the revolt of Christophe's black subjects in St. Domingo, but it is not credited. The Dey of Algiers-another amiable Prince-is said to have been taken off not by his people, but by the common enemy of both-the plague. The story, however, in the usual phrase is likewise said to "require confirmation."

SPANISH AMERICA.

All we can learn from Spanish America is, that the trade of human butchery goes on as actively as ever. It is to be lamented that one or other of the parties in this contest does not call out Hold; enough!" for sure we are that the bystanders are sick of it.

Extract of a Letter from a Gentleman at Trinidad, dated Dec. 25, 1817." A brig arrived here the other day, having on board 54 young men, destined for the Spanish Main, but hearing a true statement of the proceedings in that quarter, directly contrary to the alluring tale which had been related to them at home, to induce them to embark, many of them have declined the expedition. Some have had the temerity to join the independents; the next accounts will probably bring us news of their destruction. Others have re-embarked for England; and many, I regret to say, have fallen victims to their imprudence, and the designs of others, and ended their lives in this Colony. Within the last week five have died, and there are still many sick. It is to be feared the cause of their death proceeds from their irregular mode of living, combined with the feelings consequent

on such poignant disappointment. I learn with horror that a large ship is daily expected full of these deluded victims, whose fate, no doubt, will as shortly be determined. The barbarous state of the Main at present beggars all description; the object of the contending parties seems to be rather the depopulation of the country, than any fixed view -One day the Patriots are successful, and the next the Insurgents, and neither make any advance towards a reconciliation or conclusion of the contention. Hardly a day passes without a number of the unfortunate women and children arriving in Port of Spain, destitute of every thing, and mutually deploring the loss of husband, brother, friend or child."

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BRITISH COMPENDIUM.

The revived state of mercantile affairs is indicated by an increase in the consumption of butcher meat, and by an advance in the rent of land for grazing. At a roup on the 26th inst. upwards of 60 acres of pasture grass, within two miles of Glasgow, were let at the rate, on an average, of £4 12. 4d. each. Some particular acres brought from £6 to £8 5s, each.

On the 26th inst. the Glasgow Society of the Sons of the Ministers of the Established Church of Scotland, held their twenty-eighth anniversary meeting at the Black Bull Inn. At noon, preceded by the Magistrates, the Gentlemen of the Society walked to St. George's Church, where an excellent Sermon was preached by the Rev. Dr. Scott, of Greenock. On returning from Church, and after electing their new officebearers, they distributed for the excellent purposes of the charity, the annual interest of their increasing capital, together with the liberal collection of £109 15s., received at the church door.-At five o'clock afternoon, the Society dined, and spent the evening with their usual harmony and conviviality :-Mr. Kingan in the Chair. Mr. Professor Walker has been chosen President for next year.

It appears, that of the 66 Scottish Royal Burghs, 28, or nearly one half of the total number, have already voted resolutions in favour of reform. And it is stated that the population of those Burghs, who have taken decided measures for procuring the abolition of the practice of self-election, is to the population of those who have not yet expressed themselves on the subject, nearly as four to one.

The following are the appointments of the ensuing Spring Circuits of the Jury Court.