THE NINETEENTH CENTURY. Quidquid agunt homines nostri est farrago libelli. AS years roll on, there may come a time, (who shall say?) when the study of geology combined with those of anatomy and phrenology shall have arrived at so great a pitch of perfection, that when human remains are found, which once belonged to men of this generation, the anatomo-geologophrenologist will be able to describe from some few bones the entire creature in his physical, moral, and intellectual capabilities. But however advanced the science, however acute the man of science, I cannot but believe that a previous knowledge of the main types of human character belonging to this age, will be found useful in determining the intermediary characters, and perhaps nowhere more than in a university may such abundant materials be procured for observing the chief sources (speaking roughly) of human character, and the various channels in which the streams diverging from those sources flow. This, then, is the object which has induced me to collect a few instances, (scanty and imperfect as I fully feel them to be) of the different characters prevailing among the youth of this generation. But all my long days and nights of wearying toil, all my feverish anxiety in this noble work were thrown away, were not the result of my tedious labours put in such a form or such a place as to be sure of passing uninjured into the eager hands of a grateful posterity. What place then would be so secure, what form so appropriate, in which to record my researches, as an article in The Eagle? a bird destined to soar on untiring pinions through the unclouded sunshine of innumerable ages. But I must begin my subject, and first I will address myself to the editors of the illustrious periodical I have mentioned, humbly entreating them not to think my article too clever or too profound for insertion, and thereby deprive posterity of such an invaluable boon. When this document comes into the hands of the future man of science for whom it is intended, it may read somewhat the same as the following words would to us of the present time: It oftentimes may be discerned to what type a man belongeth by the manner wherein he is habited. For instance, who would mistake yonder man's appearance? He is habited in a short jacket which buttoneth the whole way up in front. He hath a pair of very closely fitting pantaloons on a pair of very meagre shanks, the said shanks being withal of the same thickness in all parts. The colours which he most affecteth for his clothes be some tinge of grey, or mayhap chestnut, though the latter be oftentimes enlivened by the admixture of a bay tint. His hat is composed of felt, and is either lofty in the crown and like to the dome of St. Paul's cathedral in London, (save that a patenteed ventilator taketh the place of the cross on the summit of the dome), or else it is of a shape like to a beaver hat cut abruptly asunder in the midst. His collars likewise must be mentioned, which be stiffly starched and stand up close round the whole neck, meeting beneath the chin. His neckerchief is mostly of a blue colour with white spots or orbs, or else it is plain white, it is of large proportions, and is crossed in the front and held firmly by means of a large pin, whose head is fashioned to represent a horse's hoof, or a fox's head or some similar device. In his hand he beareth a short stick, fitted with a silver top, or the handle of an hunting whip, with a bone crook at the one end and a stout loop of leather at the other; with this instrument he oftimes striketh his leg as he walketh, which latter process he accomplisheth by leaning his entire weight upon his heels, and turning his toes (whereof he maketh no use) outwards, in such wise as to turn the inward sides of his legs to the front, and thus he shambleth along slowly (for your friend is never in haste), whistling oftentimes a catch of a song and hitting his leg with his whip or stick, as above described. If he falleth in with a friend whom he desireth to stop, he crieth "Wo Ho," to which cry he often addeth "Boy" or Mare," I suppose according as his friend seemeth to him for the time being to resemble the one or the other. His discourse beareth wholly on horses or dogs, and the probabilities that such an horse will win in such a race, these 66 "Fine probabilities which he calleth "odds," he computeth accurately, and layeth a series of wagers on which he for ever harpeth. Hence in passing him in the street it is mighty strange if hear him not saying "Three to two," or you fencer," or "Handicap," or somewhat that relateth to riding; whence indeed I would fain say, if I may be allowed to use the conceit, that his talk is wholly ridiculous. So much for the horse-riding or equestrian man. But yonder is one of a far different type, for whereas the sporting man seemeth to try how uncomfortable he can make himself by means of his stiff collars and tightly fitting habiliment, the man next to be commented on taketh the opposite course, and is attired in a loosely fitting jacket or pilot's coat, above which in place of the sharp edged collars lately mentioned, appeareth a wrapper or comforter of a woollen material. On his head he weareth a hat of plaited straw, which is an easy head gear and light withal. His pantaloons be of a soft material which is a most essential requisite to him for comfort's sake. The lower extremities of his pantaloons he rolleth upward, in general, for some distance, thereby displaying what the sporting man would scorn to own, a goodly calf to his leg. He even carrieth out his principle of comfort to his very feet and weareth shoes of a soft and pliable leather in the room of boots. Such is the aquatic or boat-rowing man. The next man to be noted is habited wholly in black clothes, though his coat hath oftentimes a tinge of green in it, but as that is frequently the effect of poverty, it is not good to remark further upon it: to proceed, his left hand is in his bosom, which as his waistcoat buttoneth low on his person, is to him no hard feat to perform; his right hand swayeth to and fro, encased in a cloth glove of a dark hue, while he explaineth some knotty question (doubtless concerning the square root of the circle, or some such important matter), to his friend with whom he walketh. Above the said glove may be seen the extreme end of his shirt sleeve, which alas! too oft hath not a snow-white appearance. His friend with whom he holdeth converse is in the main attired in like fashion, and nothing further perhaps remaineth to be noted of him except as to the disposal of his hands and arms, for, unlike his companion, he carrieth in the one hand a stick the point of which he throweth upwards in front of him as he strideth furiously along, as though by thus throwing up his stick, he were attempting to describe some particular curve whereof he hath that day read; the other arm he holdeth rigidly downwards while with his fingers doubled back he firmly graspeth the cuff of his coat. Their trousers, unlike to those of the boat-rowing man, be not upturned, nor indeed seem they to require it. The hair of this species is of long growth and unkempt, though some do prefer dividing it behind and leaving it unkempt at the sides. Needeth it to be further said that these be men mathematical? The fourth species is remarkable indeed for nought but his attire, yet for that alone is well worthy of a remark, though how to describe him it were hard to say, since that very point wherein he is most remarkable in the only remarkable feature he possesseth, is the ingenuity he displayeth in the constant change of his attire. As well might a man attempt to write a description of a chameleon that is changing every moment before his eyes; for so doth the true dressing man (if ought can be called true that changeth so often) appear in clothes that exhibit all the tints and colours of the rainbow. In light coats, in sombre coats, in red neckerchiefs, in green, blue, yellow, and all other coloured neckerchiefs; in lavender gloves, in gloves of a straw colour, in long and tightly fitting coats, in short and loose lounging coats, in pantaloons that reach unto his boots, in pantaloons that reach no further than his knees, and are there met by long hosen, which also exhibit every variety of colour. He drawleth in his talk, and if he lisp and have an imperfect articulation to boot, it is well in his eyes and in the eyes of his fellows. In the subjects too of their talk, this species is as multiform as in their dress, for some do affect the current topics of interest among the equestrian, or boatrowing, or cricket-playing men, and some do even trench on literary talk; but the one pervading character of their conversation is to seem to trouble themselves as little as may be, by all of them one motto is professed as the ruling maxim of life, "Dolce far niente." And thus they pass their days in what they themselves would dignify with the name of ease, but which others have preferred to call sloth. These by the common consent of all men have gained to themselves the appellation of men of dress. Such seem to me to be the main orders of undergraduates in this University of Cambridge, as diverse as are the various orders of monks, not only in their habit, but in their habits. And these chief types would stand out more distinctly each from other, but for the complicated network of intermediary characters with which they are interlaced, so that to unravel each were a work of endless time and hopeless toil, and it is as I have said with a view to the assisting the labours of geologists of future ages (in whose hands The Eagle will be without doubt the standard book of reference on all matters of antiquarian lore) that I have ventured to pen these lines. Q. AMOIBAIA. AMY. "My love, my sweetest fondest own, GEORGE. "Light of mine eye, my sweetest sweet, Behold here prostrate at thy feet My life, my purse, my all." AMY. "'Tis not your purse, 'tis not your life, I dare not, yet I am your wife- y. |