AN AWKWARD MISTAKE. Some years ago Sam Spring, the box-book and housekeeper of the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, called at the house of the Margravine of Anspach, expecting his usual fee for accommodation afforded at the theatre. It happened that a chiropodist (commonly called a corncutter) of the same name as the former, had been appointed to call, in order to give ease to her ladyship's feet. The lady was in bed, and not doubting, when the name of the visiter was announced, that it was the corn operator, she ordered him to be introduced. The box-book and housekeeper was of course much surprised, when he was thus ushered into the lady's bed-room; and still more, when her ladyship, without looking at him, (the curtain being drawn,) said, "Oh, Mr. Spring, I am very glad you are come;" and added, putting out her feet at the bottom of the bed, " pray give me some relief." The astonished theatrical retainer had scarcely time to stammer out that there must be some mistake, when the lady, equally surprised, hastily said, "Who are you?" and the feet being drawn into bed again, the applicant was dismissed with his usual fee. some coarse jests on the occasion, to the great amusement of the company, the Doctor excepted; who, when the laugh had subsided, thus addressed the party :-"Gentlemen, you must doubtless suppose, from the extreme familiarity with which Mr. Garrick has thought fit to treat me, that I am an acquaintance of his; but I can assure you, that, till I met him here, I never saw him but once before, and then I paid five shillings for the sight." Roscius was silent. HONOURABLE HUMILITY. General Bauer, who commanded the Russian cavalry in Holstein, was a soldier of fortune, whose family and country were unknown to every one. When encamped near Hussam, he took a mode of discovering himself as novel as it was amiable. He invited all his field officers, and some others, to dine with him, and sent an adjutant to bring a miller and his wife, who lived in the neighbourhood, to the entertainment. The poor couple came, very much afraid of the summons, and quite confused when they appeared before the Muscovite general. Bauer seeing this, bade them be quite easy, for he only intended to shew them kindness, and had sent for them to dine with him that day; at the same time he conversed familiarly with them about the country. At dinner, he placed the miller and his wife one on each hand, and nearest to him, and paid particular attention to them. In the course of the entertainment he asked the miller many questions about his family and relations. The miller stated, that he was the eldest son of his father, who left him the mill he then possessed, and that he had two brothers and one sister. "Have you no other brother?" said the general. "No," replied the miller; "I had once another brother, but he went away with the soldiers when he was very young, and must have long ago been killed in the wars." The general, observing the company much surprised at his conversation with the miller, said to them, "Brother soldiers, you have always been curious to know who I was, and whence I came, I now inform you, that this is the place of my nativity, and you have heard from this miller, who is my elder brother, what my family is." Then turning to the astonished miller and his wife, the general embraced them, saying, that he was the brother they had supposed dead. The general then invited the whole company to meet him next day at the mill, where a plentiful entertainment was provided; the general pointing out to his brothers in arms the room in which he was born, with as much evident joy as if he had been shewing them the place where he had gained a victory. HAVING BRAINS. A young and gallant officer of the sister kingdom, being struck on the head with a musket ball, the surgeon on examining the wound, pronounced it dangerous, for he could see the brain. Faith then," said he, quite coolly," you'll oblige me by sending a small parcel of it to my father; for, by the powers, he would never believe I had a morsel." Poet's Corner. TO BEAUTIFUL AND MELANCHOLY MUSIC. Oh melancholy strain! most like the hymn Sung in green wilds by wand'ring cherubim! Which if, perchance, the lonely trav❜ller hears, His wrapt soul speaks her ecstasy by tears. Oh, strain of mournfulness! the breeze floats by Noiseless-my spirit languishes-I sigh Prolong thy luscious tones,-now far- now near Like angel-whisp'rings to the dying ear— Prolong my sadness-earth is all forgotBreak-break my bursting heart, but leave me not! EPIGRAM. THE REASON WOMEN ARE WITHOUT BEARDS. How wisely Nature, ordering all below, Forbad a beard on woman's chin to grow; For how could she be shav'd, whate'er the skill, Whose tongue would never let her chin be still? THE ZEPHYR. Mid' the bells of the lily, the buds of the rose, Where the violet lurks, where the eglantine grows, Where forest boughs wave, when the summer is nigh, There, there is my home-for a zephyr am I. In the caves of the mountain, the birth-place of streams, On the waves of the sea, in the sun's dying beams, Mid' the dews of the morn, when Aurora is nigh, My dwelling is found-for a zephyr am I. Round the bright form of beauty I gently unfold My wings, fringed with light and bespangled with gold, Kiss the cheek where young blushes for ever Published by J. ROBINS, Bride Court, Fleet Street, where all communications (post paid) are requested to be addressed; and sold by SHERWOOD AND Co. Paternoster Row; SUTHERLAND, Edinburgh; MAC PHUN, Glasgow; and all Booksellers and Newsmen. with feelings of admiration and respect. Being introduced at court, the Duke of Grafton, then prime minister, obtained for him a pension of £1200 a year, which he liberally shared with his companions in exile. From this time he lived a retired life, devoting himself chiefly to the cultivation of elegant literature; and forming intimacies with Dr. Johnson, Goldsmith, and other great men. On the breaking out of the French revolution he repaired to Paris, and soon after embarked for Corsica, where he was presented to the rank of commander-in-chief, and President of the department. He was, however, not quite contented; he was ambitious of seeing Corsica wholly independent, and, this being also the wish of his countrymen, Paoli was declared a traitor by the French government. Upon this, he resolved upon an expedient, which, though it was a renunciation of independence, promised to secure all the advantages of real liberty; this was an union of Corsica with the Crown of Great Britain: after effecting which, he returned to England. Having lost all his property by the failure of a mercantile house at Leghorn, he was compelled to pass the remainder of his life in great privacy in London, where he ended his days. Time's Telescope, 1830. THE GARRET WINDOW. I had scarcely paid the usual fees for my new employment, when all my acquaintances showed themselves so over-anxious for my future happiness, that they almost succeeded in making me despair of it. The ladies, in particular, teazed me most unmercifully, by continually telling me, in a direct or indirect manner, that there was no salvation without the bonds of lawful wedlock. I was unwilling to give offence to the fair advocates of holy matri mony, but I was equally loth to acknowledge the utter helplessness of my bachelorship, and contented myself with shrugging up my shoulders in silence. This, however, did not settle the business. I was told that such and such opportunities had escaped me very lately, and that men, in much less prosperous circumstances than myself, gave daily proofs of their actual veneration for the old and praiseworthy institution. If I happened to take a pretty child in my arms, one lady would remark how well it became me, whilst another snatched the infant from me, and said that I had no right to amuse myself with other people's property and acquirements. Such scenes would sometimes take place in the presence of unmarried females; and they were generally at a loss how or which way to look. Sometimes they pretended neither to hear nor see; but, when now and then a woeful and striking picture of a lonely old man was held up to my consideration, the good-natured creatures could not help casting a modest glance on my countenance, to observe the effect which the example might have produced on my spirits. All this lasted a good while, and, indeed so long, that several of the proposed females had either got husbands or withdrawn from the lists some had even done worse; and some of the married ones had not turned out quite so well as had been anticipated by their sanguine appraisers. I found now and then an opportunity to convey such remarks to the proper quarter, and they were received with half-joking and half-vexed observation, "Oh! I see how it is, you will never get married." This opinion, once fairly established, allowed me a little more quiet, and I began to think myself safe. Heaven had ordered it otherwise. A very amiable and pretty girl, the daughter of a country col lector, came, for the first time, to town. Her father was acquainted with most of my friends, and I met him and his daughter almost every day in company. The candid manner in which the young lady expressed her astonishment at some of the town fashions, would often produce a smile, and it procured her the appellation of nature's own daughter; but this was exactly what pleased me, and I liked to converse with Miss Ida. At the same time, I could not help remarking that she had very fine sparkling eyes and a lively countenance, to which her curly hair imparted additional charms. I felt more and more attracted; and my attentions were soon observed by the witnesses. The whole of my female acquaintances surrounded me one evening, and congratulated me on my conversion. I awoke as out of a dream, and offered to plead not guilty; but my endeavours were vain, and facts spoke too clearly against me. There could be no doubt of my being finally captivated by the beauty and other qualities of the fair damsel; and to make security doubly secure, the match-makers told me, moreover, that there would be not only a good sum forthcoming as a marriage portion, but that there were also considerable expectations from various quarters." Well," said one of my patronesses, "have you be"have you bespoken a place for to-morrow's solemnity?" "Not I," said I, smiling; a single man can easily shift for himself on such occasions." "Oh! but you are not single now; such selfish considerations must no longer guide you, my good sir; Ida longs to see the whole procession, and her father is a stranger in town; you would not, surely, let them both stand in the street.' The hint was broad enough, and could only be answered by my taking leave, to go in quest of proper accommoda tions. The reception was to take place at the very gates of the town, where the public authorities were to make speeches, and virgins in white garments to present flowers. The spot was confined, and few of the houses in the neighbourhood seemed to afford a good prospect. I had vainly examined them all. The windows and balconies which afforded any chance, were all bespoken. I res turned once more to the landlord of the Golden Fox, and offered him two louisd'or, He reflected a little, and then said, "I have a garret window in my private house undisposed of; and I shall feel very happy in obliging you with it, if it will answer your purpose. I accepted without hesitation, and ordered a breakfast for three persons. "You have spent a long time over your errand," was my welcome. "Alas! I replied, and after all I have but indifferently succeeded." I made my report, and the lady of the house seemed to be but half pleased. It was certainly awkward, that we should only see the head of the expected monarch, which, besides being very bald, had never been the most brilliant part about him; but thousands of others would not even get a glance of that, and Ida had every reason to be thankful. The fair spinster had not joined in the conversation whilst I was relating the progress of my adventures; but her beautiful eyes had been turned toward me in the kindest manner, and they had spoken volumes. When I finally sat down near her, I perceived that much had been said to the girl during my absence, and that all had been in my favour there appeared a general rage for bringing us together, and the attempts were not always the most delicate. Ida herself seemed to be aware of these improprieties, and the disapprobation which I read in her glances, endeared her still more to my fancy. I resigned my |