ed feats together in a manner so inconsistent and contradictory, that their hearers never fail to detect them for mere fictions.

Some will be ever ascribing to themselves witty say. ings, which they have heard in company, or perhaps read in books. Some will pretend to have performed things, which if they be challenged to do again, they are obliged to own they cannot. Many, who have never had opportunity or capacity for study, endeavour to persuade those that converse with them, that they have gone through the whole circle of the sciences, and will pretend to have read every book you can name. Others will be stunning all companies with the great acquaintance they have, and talking of intimacies with eminent persons, whom perhaps in truth they hardly know by sight. And others are guilty of this vice to a degree still incomparably more wicked; I mean, those who delight in blasting the characters of ladies, whose favours they boast, when they have never been so much as in their company. This infamous practice has cost some of these vain and wicked boasters, all they were worth.

The most effectual means I know, for avoiding or getting rid of this foolish habit of boasting, is, to accustom one's self to speak as little as possible in the first person. The figure of Egotism is one of the most ungraceful that can enter into any man's conversation or writings, though it is to be met with in some of the most eminent both of ancient and modern times.

But if it gives a man a disadvantageous appearance to be himself the historian of the actions he has really done, what a contemptible light must he appear in, who, in order to set himself off, has recourse to falsehood? To what a degree of baseness must that mind be sunk, which can descend so low as to invent a lie? We see a sense of honour upon this point, often remains in the mind, when every thing else that relishes of virtue is gone. The town-rake, who will make no hesitation at murder or adultery, will yet take the imputation of a lie whether just or unjust, for an affront not to be expiated, but with blood. For he looks on other crimes as venial, or perhaps as acts of heroism; but falsehood is universally owned to imply

in it a peculiar degree of mean-spiritedness. Nor will any man allow himself in this base practice, who considers (abstracting from the vice) the gross imprudence of exposing himself to the universal contempt, which always falls upon the character of a liar, who of course loses the confidence of mankind, even when he speaks truth.

If one has given any just cause of disobligation, the proper part to act, is, frankly to own the offence, and ask the injured person's pardon; and it must only be from excessive pride and obstinacy, that one will refuse what is so reasonable. And how much more manly is such behaviour, than to have recourse to the base subterfuge of a lie, or equivocal evasion!

Falsehood is indeed, on all accounts, inexcusable, and can never proceed but from some unworthy principle, as cowardice, malice, or a total contempt of virtue and honour. And the difficulties it runs one into, are not to be numbered. One lie requires ten others to support it. And the failure of probability in one of them, ruins all. The pains necessary to patch up a plausible story, and the racking of the memory to keep always to the same circumstances in representing things, so as to avoid contradictions, is unsufferable. And after all, it is a thousand to one, but the artifice is detected; and then the unhappy man is questioned as much, when he is sincere, as when he dissembles; so that he finds himself at a full stop, and can neither gain his ends with mankind by truth nor falsehood.

As it is common and natural for young gentlemen to court the company of the ladies, it is proper to give them some directions upon that subject.

It is certain, that the elegancy of behaviour, and that universally engaging accomplishment of complaisance, are no where to be learned but in the conversation of that delicate part of our species. And it is likewise certain, that in the company of ladies there is less to be met with that is likely either to shock, or to corrupt an innocent person, than in the conversation of even the tolerable sober part of our sex. But as on the other hand, it must be confessed, that their being deprived of the advantages we have for enlarging our knowledge, renders their conversation less improving, it must be allowed, that to spend the bulk

of one's leisure in their company is not to be justified; nor indeed do they expect it, but, on the contrary, heartily despise the effeminate tribe of danglers. A prudent man will therefore only seek the conversation of the ladies oc casionally; and, where he does, he will not enter wholly into their manners, but will, by easy and engaging ways, endeavour to draw them into conversation that may be more entertaining to himself, and more improving to them, than the usual chit-chat of the tea-table. Nor is a man in any hazard of giving disgust oy this proceeding, unless his manner of introducing such subjects be somewhat affected, or gloomy, or overbearing. On the contrary, the more sensible part of the sex always expect to hear from us something different from, and superior to the superficial stuff, of fashions, love affairs, and remarks on neighbours; and entertain but contemptible notions of a man, who is furnished with no better topics than these. There are many of that sex, who have made so good use of the mean advantages we allow them for improving themselves, that their judgment will be found preferable to that of many men, on prudentials and morals, (science they do not pretend to;) but these are chiefly such as have had the advantage of experience and conversation. The usual trash of compliment and flattery, with which that contemptible order of mortals, commonly called fops, are wont to entertain the ladies, is equally shameful to those who utter, and those who receive it. And none but the most superficial part of the sex are to be imposed upon by it; nor can any thing show a man in a more ridiculous light, than to be convicted of attempting to flatter, without sufficient address to conceal his design. The whole of it is mean and disingenuous, and unworthy of the open plainness and sincerity, so graceful in our sex. At the same time as the ladies are but little accustomed to hear the plain truth, much less disagreeable truths, a man of prudence will avoid contradicting or blaming them too bluntly, knowing, that by such behaviour there is nothing to be got but their ill-will. Toying or romping with handsome women, however distant it may be from any direct design upon them, being yet unsuitable to the delicacy of genteel behaviour, and tending naturally to promote levi

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ty, if not to excite irregular desires in young minds, is what I would wish wholly discouraged.

As there is no accomplishment more agreeable in a companion, when people want to relax, than a nack at telling a story; there is no part of conversation, in which men expose themselves more egregiously. The entertainment, and instruction, which companies receive from a well told story, of which history and lives furnish the best materials, naturally make people desirous of being thought to possess a talent so agreeable. And those whom nature has not fitted out with the proper abilities, cannot miss to execute what they undertake in an awkward manner. The chief of the errors in telling a story, are the following, viz. Tediousness in dwelling upon insignificant circumstances, which do not interest the company. And, on the other hand, curtailing too much, and leaving out such circumstances as tend to characterize the persons in the story, or are otherwise essential. Overrunning the proper conclusion, or catastrophe of the narration. Overacting the humourous or lively parts; or drawling on the narration in an unanimated manner.

The most witty and facetious companion in the world, may make himself as thoroughly disagreeable as the most insipid mortal that can go into company. Let such a one labour to be witty, and strain for fine things. Let him stun the company with noise and forward impertinence; or let him show a contempt for them, by a sullen silence; and he shall be as heartily despised as ever he was admired.

I do not think it would be easy to invent a sillier custom, than that which universally prevails at present, of visiting where there is no real regard or esteem. There is no keeping up a correspondence of this kind, without being guilty of infinite dissimulation. And they must set politeness at a high rate indced, who will give up integrity for it.

But to consider this matter only in a prudential light, which is the business at present, I should be glad to know wherein appears the wisdom of throwing away time (which one may always apply in some manner agreeable to one's self) upon people, whom one heartily despises. Where interest obliges people in business to show civility to their customers, or those they have connexions with in life, there is some pretence of necessity for keeping up such a com

But why people in high and independent stations, should think it necessary to spend so many hours in visits, to themselves insipid and disagreeable, is to me wholly inconceivable. When there are so many noble employ. ments, and elegant amusements to fill up the time of people of figure, it grieves one to see them make themselves useless to their country, and unhappy in themselves, by wasting their hours in the slavery of disagreeable visits, and the endless drudgery of the card-table. To see people of rank descend to such low foolery, as visiting those whom they hate or despise; denying themselves by their servants, when they are really at home, to avoid the visits of those themselves have invited, making pretended visits to those they know to be abroad, and even sending their empty coaches to perform those mock ceremonies; to observe all this hypocritical farce, carried on by people of high rank, how does it degrade them in the eyes of their infe riors!

SECTION IV.

Of Swearing and Obscenity. Of Complaisance. Of Overbearing. Of Passion. Of acknowledging Faults. Of wrangling in conversation. Of the Importance of Circumstantials in Behaviour.

ONE may lay down the following, as a maxim which will never fail, viz. That so long as his conversation is entertaining, and behaviour affable and modest, he will be sure to be treated with respect, though his discourse be quite sober and chaste.

Swearing and obscenity are offences not only against all that is sacred, but against all that is polite. They are sins without temptation, without alleviation, and without reward. Swearing is an affront to all sober and well-behaved people. It confounds and interrupts, instead of gracing conversation; as the continual repetition of any set of unmeaning words, from time to time, necessarily must. As for obscenity, every one knows it must shock and startle every modest ear. It gives no real pleasure; but on the contrary, if it has any effect, must excite and irritate the passions, without gratifying them, which is pain