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my uncle Toby of his repose as the very eye
at which he was looking; — it was not, Madam,
a rolling eye, a romping, or a wanton one;
nor was it an eye sparkling, petulant, or
imperious of high claims and terrifying
exactions, which would have curdled at once
that milk of human nature of which my uncle
Toby was made up; - but 'twas an eye full
of gentle salutations, and soft responses,
speaking, not like the trumpet-stop of some
ill-made organ, in which many an eye I talk
to, holds coarse converse, but whispering soft,
like the last low accents of an expiring saint,
"How can you live comfortless, Captain
Shandy, and alone, without a bosom to lean
your head on, or trust your cares to?"
It was an eye —

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But I shall be in love with it myself, if I say another word about it.

It did my uncle Toby's business.

CHAPTER XXVI

There is nothing shows the characters of my father and my uncle Toby in a more entertain

ment under the same accident; for I call not love a misfortune, from a persuasion that a man's heart is ever the better for it. Great God! what must my uncle Toby's have been, when 'twas all benignity without it!

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My uncle Toby, on the contrary, took it like a lamb, sat still, and let the poison work in his veins without resistance: - in the sharpest exacerbations of his wound (like that on his groin) he never dropped one fretful or discontented word, he blamed neither heaven nor earth, nor thought, nor spoke an injurious thing of any body, nor any part of it; he sat solitary and pensive with his pipe, looking at his lame leg, then whiffing out a sentimental heigh-ho! which, mixing, with the smoke, incommoded no one mortal. He took it like a lamb, I say.

In truth, he had mistook it at first; for, having taken a ride with my father that very morning, to save, if possible, a beautiful wood, which the dean and chapter were hewing down to give to the poor; which said wood being in full view of my uncle Toby's house, and of

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ing light than their different manner of deport- singular service to him in his description of the battle of Wynendale, by trotting on too hastily to save it, upon an uneasy saddle, worse horse, etc., etc. it had so happened that the serous part of the blood had got betwixt the two skins in the nethermost part of my uncle Toby, the first shootings of which (as my uncle Toby had no experience of love) he had taken for a part of the passion, till the blister breaking in the one case, and the other remaining, my uncle Toby was presently convinced that his wound was not a skin-deep wound, but that it had gone to his heart.

My father, as appears from many of his papers, was very subject to this passion before he married; but, from a little subacid kind of drollish impatience in his nature, whenever it befell him, he would never submit to it like a Christian; but would pish, and huff, and bounce, and kick, and play the Devil, and write the bitterest Philippics against the eye that ever man wrote: - there is one in verse upon somebody's eye or other, that for two or three nights together, had put him by his rest; which, in his first transport of resentment against it, he begins thus:

"A Devil 'tis - and mischief such doth work As never yet did Pagan, Jew, or Turk."

In short, during the whole paroxysm, my father was all abuse and foul language, approaching rather towards malediction; - only only he did not do it with as much method as Ernulphus; he was too impetuous; nor with Ernulphus's policy; for tho' my father, with the most intolerant spirit, would curse both this and that, and everything under Heaven,

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. . We lost it, an' please your Honour, somehow betwixt us; but your Honour was as free from love then as I am. . . . 'Twas just as thou went'st off with the wheelbarrow, with Mrs. Wadman, quoth my uncle Toby. She has left a ball here, added my uncle Toby, pointing to his breast.

--

She can no more, an' please your Honour, stand a siege than she could fly, cried the Corporal.

But, as we are neighbours, Trim, the best I think, is to let her know it civilly way, at first, quoth my uncle Toby.

Now, if I might presume, said the Corporal, to differ from your Honour.

Why else do I talk to thee, Trim? said my uncle Toby, mildly. . .

Then I would begin, an' please your Honour, making a good thundering attack upon her, in return, and telling her civilly afterwards; for if she knows anything of your Honour's being in love, beforehand. . . . L—d help her! she knows no more at present of it, Trim, said my uncle Toby, - than the child unborn.

Precious souls! —

Mrs. Wadman had told it, with all its circumstances, to Mrs. Bridget, twenty-four hours before; and was at that very moment sitting in council with her, touching some slight misgivings with regard to the issue of the affairs, which the Devil, who never lies dead in a ditch, had put into her head, before he would allow half time to get quietly through her Te Deum.

I am terribly afraid, said Widow Wadman, in case I should marry him, Bridget, - that the poor Captain will not enjoy his health, with the monstrous wound upon his groin.

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Now, quoth the Corporal, setting his left hand a-kimbo, and giving such a flourish with his right as just promised success — and no more, if your Honour will give me leave to lay down the plan of this attack.

Thou wilt please me by it, Trim, said my uncle Toby, exceedingly: — and, as I foresee thou must act in it as my aide-de-camp, here's a crown, Corporal, to begin with, to steep thy commission.

Then, an' please your Honour, said the Corporal (making a bow first for his commission) we will begin by getting your Honour's laced clothes out of the great campaign-trunk, to be well aired, and have the blue and gold taken up at the sleeves; - and I'll put your white Ramallie-wig fresh into pipes; and send for a tailor to have your Honour's thin scarlet breeches turned. .

I had better take the red plush ones, quoth my uncle Toby. . . . They will be too clumsy, said the Corporal.

CHAPTER XXIX

Thou wilt get a brush and a little chalk to my sword. . . . "Twill be only in your Honour's way, replied Trim.

CHAPTER XXX

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But your Honour's two razors shall be new set and I will get my Montero-cap furbished up, and put on poor Lieutenant Le Fevre's regimental coat, which your Honour gave me to wear for his sake; and as soon as your Honour is clean shaved, — and has got your clean shirt on, with your blue and gold or your fine scarlet, sometimes one and sometimes t'other, and everything is ready for the attack, we'll march up boldly, as if it was to the face of a bastion; and whilst your Honour engages Mrs. Wadman in the parlour, to the right, — I'll attack Mrs. Bridget in the kitchen to the left; and having seized the pass, I'll answer for it, said the Corporal, snapping his fingers over his head, — that the day is our

own.

. . . I wish I may but manage it right, said my uncle Toby; · but I declare, Corporal, I had rather march up to the very edge of a trench.

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If I stay much longer at Edinburgh, I shall be changed into a downright Caledonian. My uncle observes that I have already acquired something of the country accent. The people here are so social and attentive in their civilities to strangers, that I am insensibly sucked into the channel of their manners and customs, although they are in fact much more different from ours than you can imagine. That difference, however, which struck me very much at my first arrival, I now hardly perceive, and my ear is perfectly reconciled to the Scotch accent, which I find even agreeable in the mouth of a pretty woman. It is a sort of Doric dialect, which gives an idea of amiable simplicity. You cannot imagine how we have been caressed and feasted in the good town of Edinburgh, of which we are become free denizens and guildbrothers, by the special favour of the magistracy.

I had a whimsical commission from Bath to a citizen of this metropolis. Quin, understanding our intention to visit Edinburgh, pulled out a guinea, and desired the favour I would drink it at a tavern, with a particular friend and bottle companion of his, one Mr. R. C, a lawyer of this city. I charged myself with the commission, and taking the guinea, "You see," said I, "I have pocketed your bounty."-"Yes," replied Quin, laughing, "and a headache into the bargain, if you drink fair." I made use of this introduction to Mr. C, who received me with open arms, and gave me the rendezvous, according to the cartel. He had provided a company of jolly fellows, among whom I found myself extremely happy, and did Mr. C and Quin all the justice in my power; but, alas! I was no more than a tyro among a troop of veterans, who had compassion on my youth, and conveyed me home in the morning, by what means I know not. Quin was mistaken, however, as to the headache; the claret was too good to treat me so roughly.

While Mr. Bramble holds conferences with the graver literati of the place, and our females are entertained at visits by the Scotch ladies, who are the best and kindest creatures on earth, I pass my time among the bucks of Edinburgh, who, with a great share of spirit and vivacity, have a certain shrewdness and self-command that is not often found among their neighbours in the heyday of youth and exultation. Not a hint escapes a Scotchman that can be interpreted into offence by any individual of the company; and national reflections are never heard. In this particular, I must own, we are both unjust and ungrateful to the Scotch; for, as far as I am able to judge, they have a real esteem for the natives of South Britain; and never mention our country but with expressions of regard. Nevertheless, they are far from being servile imitators of our modes and fashionable vices. All their customs and regulations of public and private economy, of business and diversion, are in their own style. This remarkably predominates in their looks, their dress, and manner, their music, and even their cookery. Our squire declares, that he knows not another people on earth so strongly marked with a national character. Now we are on the article of cookery, I must own some of their dishes are savoury, and even delicate; but I am not yet Scotchman enough to relish their singed sheep's-head and haggis, which were provided at our request one day at Mr. Mitchelson's, where we dined. The first put me in mind of the history of Congo, in which I read of negroes' heads sold publicly in the markets; the last, being a mess of minced lights, livers, suet, oatmeal, onions, and pepper, enclosed in a sheep's stomach, had a very sudden effect on mine, and the delicate Mrs. Tabby changed colour; when the cause of our disgust was instantaneously removed at the nod of our entertainer. The Scotch in general are attached to this composition, with a sort of national fondness, as well as to their oatmeal bread; which is presented at every table, in thin triangular cakes, baked on a plate of iron, called a girdle; and these many of the natives, even in the higher ranks of life, prefer to wheaten bread, which they have here in perfection. You know we used to vex poor Murray, of Balliol College, by asking, if there was really no fruit but turnips in Scotland! Sure enough I have seen turnips make their appearance, not as a dessert, but by way of hors d'œuvres, or whets, as radishes are served up betwixt more substantial dishes in France

and Italy; but it must be observed, that the turnips of this country are as much superior in sweetness, delicacy, and flavour, to those of England, as a musk-melon is to the stock of a common cabbage. They are small and conical, of a yellowish colour, with a very thin skin; and over and above their agreeable taste, are valuable for their antiscorbutic quality. As to the fruit now in season, such as cherries, gooseberries, and currants, there is no want of them at Edinburgh; and in the gardens of some gentlemen who live in this neighbourhood, there is now a very favourable appearance of apricots, peaches, nectarines, and even grapes; nay, I have seen a very fine show of pine-apples within a few miles of this metropolis. Indeed, we have no reason to be surprised at these particulars, when we consider how little difference there is, in fact, betwixt this climate and that of London.

All the remarkable places in the city and its avenues, for ten miles around, we have visited, much to our satisfaction. In the castle are some royal apartments, where the sovereign occasionally resided; and here are carefully preserved the regalia of the kingdom, consisting of a crown, said to be of great value, a sceptre, and a sword of state, adorned with jewels. Of these symbols of sovereignty the people are exceedingly jealous. A report being spread, during the sitting of the union parliament, that they were removed to London, such a tumult arose, that the lord commissioner would have been torn in pieces if he had not produced them for the satisfaction of the populace.

The palace of Holyrood-house is an elegant piece of architecture, but sunk in an obscure, and, as I take it, unwholesome bottom, where one would imagine it had been placed on purpose to be concealed. The apartments are lofty, but unfurnished; and as for the pictures of the Scottish kings, from Fergus I to King William, they are paltry daubings, mostly by the same hand, painted either from the imagination, or porters hired to sit for the purpose. All the diversions of London we enjoy at Edinburgh in a small compass. Here is a wellconducted concert, in which several gentlemen perform on different instruments. The Scots are all musicians. Every man you meet plays on the flute, the violin, or violoncello; and there is one nobleman whose compositions are universally admired. Our company of actors is very tolerable; and a subscription is now on foot for building a new theatre: but their

assemblies please me above all other public exhibitions.

We have been at the hunters' ball, where I was really astonished to see such a number of fine women. The English, who have never crossed the Tweed, imagine, erroneously, that the Scotch ladies are not remarkable for personal attractions; but I can declare with a safe conscience I never saw so many handsome females together as were assembled on this occasion. At the Leith races, the best company comes hither from the remoter provinces; so that, I suppose, we had all the beauty of the kingdom concentrated as it were into one focus; which was indeed so vehement, that my heart could hardly resist its power. Between friends, it has sustained some damage from the bright eyes of the charming Miss R-, whom I had the honour to dance with at the ball. The countess of Melville attracted all eyes, and the admiration of all present. She was accompanied by the agreeable Miss Grieve, who made many conquests: nor did my sister Liddy pass unnoticed in the assembly. She is become a toast at Edinburgh, by the name of the Fair Cambrian, and has already been the occasion of much wine-shed; but the poor girl met with an accident at the ball, which has given us great disturbance.

A young gentleman, the express image of that rascal Wilson, went up to ask her to dance a minuet; and his sudden appearance shocked her so much, that she fainted away. I call Wilson a rascal, because if he had been really a gentleman, with honourable intentions, he would have ere now appeared in his own character. I must own, my blood boils with indignation when I think of that fellow's presumption; and Heaven confound me if I don't

but I won't be so womanish as to rail time will perhaps furnish occasion - thank God, the cause of Liddy's disorder remains a secret. The lady-directress of the ball, thinking she was overcome by the heat of the place, had her conveyed to another room, where she soon recovered so well, as to return and join in the country dances, in which the Scotch lasses acquit themselves with such spirit and agility, as put their partners to the height of their mettle. I believe our aunt, Mrs. Tabitha, had entertained hopes of being able to do some execution among the cavaliers at this assembly. She had been several days in consultation with milliners and mantua-makers, preparing for the occasion, at which she made her appearance in a full suit of damask, so thick and heavy,

that the sight of it alone, at this season of the year, was sufficient to draw drops of sweat from any man of ordinary imagination. She danced one minuet with our friend Mr. Mitchelson, who favoured her so far, in the spirit of hospitality and politeness; and she was called out a second time by the young laird of Balymawhaple, who, coming in by accident, could not readily find any other partner; but as the first was a married man, and the second paid no particular homage to her charms, which were also overlooked by the rest of the company, she became dissatisfied and censorious. At supper, she observed that the Scotch gentlemen made a very good figure, when they were a little improved by travelling; and, therefore, it was pity they did not all take the benefit of going abroad. She said the women were awkward, masculine creatures; that, in dancing, they lifted their legs like so many colts; that they had no idea of graceful motion; and put on their clothes in a frightly manner: but if the truth must be told, Tabby herself was the most ridiculous figure, and the worst dressed, of the whole assembly. The neglect of the male sex rendered her malcontent and peevish; she now found fault with everything at Edinburgh, and teased her brother to leave the place, when she was suddenly reconciled to it on a religious consideration. There is a sect of fanatics, who have separated themselves from the established kirk, under the name of Seceders. They acknowledge no earthly head of the church, reject lay patronage, and maintain the Methodist doctrines of the new birth, the new light, the efficacy of grace, the insufficiency of works, and the operations of the spirit. Mrs. Tabitha, attended by Humphry Clinker, was introduced to one of their conventicles, where they both received much edification; and she has had the good fortune to become acquainted with a pious Christian, called Mr. Moffat, who is very powerful in prayer, and often assists her in private exercises of devotion.

I never saw such a concourse of genteel company at any races in England, as appeared on the course of Leith. Hard by, in the fields called the Links, the citizens of Edinburgh divert themselves at a game called golf, in which they use a curious kind of bats tipped with horn, and small elastic balls of leather, stuffed with feathers, rather less than tennisballs, but of a much harder consistence. This they strike with such force and dexterity from one hole to another, that they will fly to an incredible distance. Of this diversion the

Scots are so fond, that when the weather will permit, you may see a multitude of all ranks, from the senator of justice to the lowest tradesman, mingled together, in their shirts, and following the balls with the utmost eagerness. Among others, I was shown one particular set of golfers, the youngest of whom was turned of fourscore. They were all gentlemen of independent fortunes, who had amused themselves with this pastime for the best part of a century, without having ever felt the least alarm from sickness or disgust; and they never went to bed, without having each the best part of a gallon of claret in his belly. Such uninterrupted exercise, coöperating with the keen air from the sea, must, without all doubt, keep the appetite always on edge, and steel the constitution against all the common attacks of distemper.

The Leith races gave occasion to another entertainment of a very singular nature. There is at Edinburgh a society or corporation of errand-boys called cawdies, who ply in the streets at night with paper lanterns, and are very serviceable in carrying messages. These fellows, though shabby in their appearance, and rudely familiar in their address, are wonderfully acute, and so noted for fidelity, that there is no instance of a cawdy's having betrayed his trust. Such is their intelligence, that they know not only every individual of the place, but also every stranger, by the time he has been four-and-twenty hours in Edinburgh; and no transaction, even the most private, can escape their notice. They are particularly famous for their dexterity in executing one of the functions of Mercury; though, for my own part, I never employed them in this department of business. Had I occasion for any service of this nature, my own man, Archy M'Alpine, is as well qualified as e'er a cawdy in Edinburgh; and I am much mistaken, if he has not been heretofore of their fraternity. Be that as it may, they resolved to give a dinner and a ball at Leith, to which they formally invited all the young noblemen and gentlemen that were at the races; and this invitation was reinforced by an assurance, that all the celebrated ladies of pleasure would grace the entertainment with their company. I received a card on this occasion, and went thither with half a dozen of my acquaintance. In a large hall, the cloth was laid on a long range of tables joined together, and here the company seated themselves, to the number of about fourscore, lords and lairds and other gentlemen, courtesans and cawdies,

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