Launce. Out with that too: it was Eve's legacy, | Makes me the better to confer with thee. and cannot be ta'en from her. Speed. Item, "She hath no teeth." Launce. I care not for that neither, because I love crusts. Speed. Item, "She is curst." Launce. Well; the best is, she hath no teeth to bite. Speed. Item, "She will often praise her liquor." Launce. If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, I will; for good things should be praised. Speed. Item, "She is too liberal." Launce. Of her tongue she cannot, for that's writ down she is slow of: of her purse she shall not, for that I'll keep shut: now, of another thing she may, and that cannot I help. Well, proceed. Speed. Item, "She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults." Launce. Stop there; I'll have her: she was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article. Rehearse that once more. Speed. Item, "She hath more hair than wit,"Launce. More hair than wit,—it may be; I'll prove it: the cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt: the hair, that covers the wit, is more than the wit, for the greater hides the less. What's next? Speed. -"And more faults than hairs,"- Launce. Why, that word makes the faults gracious. Well, I'll have her; and if it be a match, as nothing is impossible, Speed. What then? Pro. Longer than I prove loyal to your grace, Let me not live to look upon your grace. Duke. Thou know'st how willingly I would effect The match between sir Thurio and my daughter. Pro. I do, my lord. Duke. And also, I think, thou art not ignorant Pro. She did, my lord, when Valentine was here. Pro. The best way is, to slander Valentine Duke. Ay, but she'll think that it is spoke in hate. Duke. Then, you must undertake to slander him. Duke. Where your good word cannot advantage him, Pro. You have prevail'd, my lord. If I can do it, Launce. Why, then will I tell thee,—that thy master Lest it should ravel and be good to none, stays for thee at the north-gate. Speed. For me? Launce. For thee? ay; who art thou? he hath As you in worth dispraise sir Valentine. stay'd for a better man than thee. Speed. And must I go to him? Launce. Thou must run to him, for thou hast stay'd so long, that going will scarce serve the turn. Speed. Why didst not tell me sooner? pox of your love letters! [Exit, running. Launce. Now will he be swing'd for reading my letter. An unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself into secrets.—I'll after, to rejoice in the boy's correction. [Exit. SCENE II.-The Same. An Apartment in the DUKE'S Palace. Enter DUKE and THURIO. Duke. Sir Thurio, fear not but that she will love you, Thu. Since his exile she hath despis'd me most; Duke. This weak impress of love is as a figure How now, sir Proteus! Is your countryman, Duke. My daughter takes his going grievously. Duke. And, Proteus, we dare trust you in this kind, Pro. As much as I can do I will effect. Duke. Ay, much is the force of heaven-bred poesy. For Orpheus' lute was strung with poets' sinews, Visit by night your lady's chamber window With some sweet consort: to their instruments Duke. This discipline shows thou hast been in love. Therefore, sweet Proteus, my direction-giver, To sort some gentlemen well skill'd in music. Duke. About it, gentlemen. Pro. We'll wait upon your grace till after supper, And afterward determine our proceedings. Duke. Even now about it: I will pardon you. [Exeunt. ACT IV. SCENE I.-A Forest, between Milan and Verona. Enter certain Outlaws. 1 Out. Fellows, stand fast: I see a passenger. 2 Out. If there be ten, shrink not, but down with 'em. Enter VALENTINE and SPEED. 3 Out. Stand, sir, and throw us that you have about you; If not, we'll make you sit, and rifle you. Speed. Sir, we are undone. These are the villains That all the travellers do fear so much. Val. My friends, 1 Out. That's not so, sir: we are your enemies. 2 Out. Peace! we'll hear him. 3 Out. Ay, by my beard, will we; for he is a proper man. Val. Then know, that I have little wealth to lose. A man I am cross'd with adversity: My riches are these poor habiliments, Of which if you should here disfurnish me, You take the sum and substance that I have. 2 Out. Whither travel you? Val. To Verona. 1 Out. Whence came you? Val. From Milan. 3 Out. Have you long sojourn'd there? Val. Some sixteen months; and longer might have stay'd, If crooked fortune had not thwarted me. 2 Out. What! were you banish'd thence? Val. I was. 2 Out. For what offence? Val. For that which now torments me to rehearse. I kill'd a man, whose death I much repent; 1 Out. Why, ne'er repent it, if it were done so. But were you banish'd for so small a fault? Val. I was, and held me glad of such a doom. 1 Out. Have you the tongues? Val. My youthful travel therein made me happy, Or else I had been often miserable. 3 Out. By the bare scalp of Robin Hood's fat friar, This fellow were a king for our wild faction. 1 Out. We'll have him. Sirs, a word. Speed. Master, be one of them : Val. Peace, villain ! [They talk apart. 2 Out. Tell us this: have you any thing to take to? Fal. Nothing, but my fortune. 3 Out. Know then, that some of us are gentlemen, Such as the fury of ungovern'd youth Thrust from the company of awful men: Myself was from Verona banished, For practising to steal away a lady, An heir, and near allied unto the duke. 2 Out. And I from Mantua, for a gentleman, Who, in my mood, I stabb'd unto the heart. 1 Out. And I, for such like petty crimes as these. But to the purpose; for we cite our faults, 3 Out. Indeed, because you are a banish'd man, To make a virtue of necessity, And live, as we do, in this wilderness? 3 Out. What say'st thou? wilt thou be of our consort? Say, ay, and be the captain of us all. We'll do thee homage, and be rul'd by thee, 1 Out. But if thou scorn our courtesy, thou diest. Val. I take your offer, and will live with you; Provided that you do no outrages On silly women, or poor passengers. 3 Out. No; we detest such vile, base practices. Come, go with us: we'll bring thee to our cave, And show thee all the treasure we have got, Which, with ourselves, all rest at thy dispose. [Exeunt. Pro. Already have I been false to Valentine, She twits me with my falsehood to my friend; Enter THURIO, and Musicians. Thu. How now, sir Proteus! are you crept before us? Pro. Ay, gentle Thurio; for, you know, that love Will creep in service where it cannot go. Thu. Ay; but I hope, sir, that you love not here. Pro. Sir, but I do; or else I would be hence. Thu. Whom? Silvia? Pro. Ay, Silvia,-for your sake. Thu. I thank you for your own. Now, gentlemen, Let's tune, and to it lustily awhile. Enter Host and JULIA (in boy's clothes), behind. Host. Now, my young guest; methinks you're allycholly: I pray you, why is it? Jul. Marry, mine host, because I cannot be merry. Host. Come, we'll have you merry. I'll bring you where you shall hear music, and see the gentlemen Think'st thou, I am so shallow, so conceitless, that you ask'd for. Jul. But shall I hear him speak? Host. Ay, that you shall. Jul. That will be music. Host. Hark! Hark! Jul. Is he among these? Host. Ay; but peace! let's hear 'em. SONG. Who is Silvia? what is she, To be seduced by thy flattery, That hast deceiv'd so many with thy vows? Return, return, and make thy love amends. [Music plays. For me, by this pale queen of night I swear, That all our swains commend her? The heaven such grace did lend her, For beauty lives with kindness? To help him of his blindness; Then to Silvia let us sing, That Silvia is excelling; Upon the dull earth dwelling: Host. How now! are you sadder than you were Jul. He plays false, father. Host. How? out of tune on the strings? Jul. Not so; but yet so false, that he grieves my very heart-strings. Host. You have a quick ear. Jul. Ay; I would I were deaf! it makes me have a slow heart. Host. I perceive, you delight not in music. Host. You would not have them always play but one thing? Jul. I would always have one play but one thing. But, Host, doth this sir Proteus, that we talk on, Often resort unto this gentlewoman? Host. I tell you what Launce, his man, told me, he lov'd her out of all nick. Jul. Where is Launce? Host. Gone to seek his dog; which, to-morrow, by his master's command, he must carry for a present to his lady. Jul. Peace! stand aside: the company parts. Pro. At saint Gregory's well. Thu. Farewell. [Exeunt THURIO and Musicians. Enter SILVIA above, at her window. Pro. Madam, good even to your ladyship. Sil. I thank you for your music, gentlemen. Who is that, that spake? Pro. One, lady, if you knew his pure heart's truth, You would quickly learn to know him by his voice. Sil. Sir Proteus, as I take it. Pro. Sir Proteus, gentle lady, and your servant. Pro. That I may compass yours. Sil. You have your wish my will is even this, That presently you hie you home to bed. Thou subtle, perjur'd, false, disloyal man! Jul. [Aside.] 'Twere false, if I should speak it; For, I am sure, she is not buried. Sil. Say, that she be; yet Valentine, thy friend, Survives, to whom thyself art witness I am betroth'd; and art thou not asham'd Pro. I likewise hear, that Valentine is dead. Pro. Sweet lady, let me rake it from the earth. Sil. Go to thy lady's grave, and call her's thence; Or, at the least, in her's sepulchre thine. Jul. [Aside.] He heard not that. Pro. Madam, if your heart be so obdurate, And to your shadow will I make true love. And make it but a shadow, as I am. Sil. I am very loth to be your idol, sir; But, since your falsehood, 't shall become you well To worship shadows, and adore false shapes, Send to me in the morning, and I'll send it. And so, good rest. Pro. As wretches have o'er night, That wait for execution in the morn. [Exeunt PROTEUS and SILVIA. Jul. Host, will you go? Host. By my halidom, I was fast asleep. Jul. Pray yon, where lies sir Proteus? Host. Marry, at my house. Trust me, I think, 'tis almost day. Jul. Not so; but it hath been the longest night That e'er I watch'd, and the most heaviest. [Exeunt. SCENE III.-The Same. Enter EGLAMOUR. Egl. This is the hour that madam Silvia Enter SILVIA above, at her window. Your servant, and your friend; I am thus early come, to know what service Sil. O Églamour, thou art a gentleman, Nor how my father would enforce me marry Which heaven and fortune still reward with plagues. As full of sorrows as the sea of sands, To bear me company, and go with me: If not, to hide what I have said to thee, ¦ Egl. Madam, I pity much your grievances, And the most true affections that you bear; Which since I know they virtuously are plac'd, As much I wish all good befortune you. Sil. This evening coming. Egl. Where shall I meet you? Sil. At friar Patrick's cell, Where I intend holy confession. Sil. Good morrow, kind sir Eglamour. [Exeunt. SCENE IV.-The Same. Launce. When a man's servant shall play the cur with him, look you, it goes hard: one that I brought up of a puppy; one that I saved from drowning, when three or four of his blind brothers and sisters went to it. I have taught him, even as one would say precisely, thus I would teach a dog. I was sent to deliver him as a present to mistress Silvia from my master, and I came no sooner into the dining-chamber, but he steps me to her trencher, and steals her capon's leg. O! 'tis a foul thing, when a cur cannot keep himself in all companies. I would have, as one should say, one that takes upon him to be a dog indeed, to be, as it were, a dog at all things. If I had not had more wit than he, to take a fault upon me that he did, I think verily, he had been hang'd for't: sure as I live, he had suffer'd fort. You shall judge. He thrusts me himself into the company of three or four gentleman-like dogs under the duke's table: he had not been there (bless the mark) a pissing while, but all the chamber smelt him. "Out with the dog!" says one; "what cur is that?" says another; "whip him out," says the third; "hang him up," says the duke. I, having been acquainted with the smell before, knew it was Crab, and goes me to the fellow that whips the dogs: "Friend," quoth I; you mean to whip the dog?" "Ay, marry, do I,' quoth he. "You do him the more wrong," quoth I; was I did the thing you wot of." He makes me no more ado, but whips me out of the chamber. How many masters would do this for his servant? Nay, I'll be sworn I have sat in the stocks for puddings he hath stolen, otherwise he had been executed: I have stood in the pillory for geese he hath kill'd, otherwise he had do suffer'd for't: thou think'st not of this now.-Nay, I remember the trick you served me, when I took my leave of madam Silvia. Did not I bid thee still mark me, and do as I do? When didst thou see me heave up my leg, and make water against a gentlewoman's farthingale? Didst thou ever see me do such a trick? Enter PROTEUS and JULIA. Pro. Sebastian is thy name? I like thee well, And will employ thee in some service presently. Jul. In what you please: I will do what I can. Pro. I hope thou wilt.-How, now, you whoreson peasant! Where have you been these two days loitering? Launce. Marry, sir, I carried mistress Silvia the dog you bade me. Pro. And what says she to my little jewel? Launce. Marry, she says, your dog was a cur; and tells you, currish thanks is good enough for such a present. Pro. But she receiv'd my dog? Launce. No, indeed, did she not. Here have I brought him back again. Pro. What! didst thou offer her this cur from me? Launce. Ay, sir: the other squirrel was stolen from me by a hangman boy in the market-place; and then I offer'd her mine own, who is a dog as big as ten of yours, and therefore the gift the greater. Pro. Go; get thee hence, and find my dog again, Or ne'er return again into my sight. Away, I say! Stayest thou to vex me here? [Exit LAUNCE. Sebastian, I have entertained thee, She lov'd me well deliver'd it to me. Pro. Why dost thou cry alas? Jul. I cannot choose but pity her. Pro. Wherefore shouldst thou pity her? Jul. Because, methinks, that she lov'd you as well As you do love your lady Silvia. She dreams on him, that has forgot her love; You dote on her, that cares not for your love. 'Tis pity, love should be so contrary, And thinking on it makes me cry alas! [Exit. Pro. Well, give to her that ring; and therewithal This letter:-that's her chamber.-Tell my lady I claim the promise for her heavenly picture. Your message done, hie home unto my chamber, Where thou shalt find me sad and solitary. Jul. How many women would do such a message? Alas, poor Proteus! thou hast entertain'd A fox to be the shepherd of thy lambs. Alas, poor fool! why do I pity him, That with his very heart despiseth me? Because he loves her, he despiseth me; Because I love him, I must pity him. This ring I gave him when he parted from me, To bind him to remember my good will, And now am I (unhappy messenger!) D To plead for that which I would not obtain; Gentlewoman, good day. I pray you, be my mean Sil. What would you with her, if that I be she? Jul. From my master, sir Proteus, madam. Jul. Ay, madam. Sil. Ursula, bring my picture there. [A Picture brought. Go, give your master this: tell him from me, One Julia, that his changing thoughts forget, Would better fit his chamber, than this shadow. Jul. Madam, so please you to peruse this letter.- I will not look upon your master's lines: Jul. Madam, he sends your ladyship this ring. Sil. What say'st thou? Jul. I thank you, madam, that you tender her. Jul. Almost as well as I do know myself: Sil. Belike, she thinks, that Proteus hath forsook her. Jul. She hath been fairer, madam, than she is. And threw her sun-expelling mask away, The air hath starv'd the roses in her cheeks, And pinch'd the lily-tincture of her face, That now she is become as black as I. Sil. How tall was she? Jul. About my stature; for, at pentecost, Sil. She is beholding to thee, gentle youth:- Jul. And she shall thank you for't, if e'er you know her. A virtuous gentlewoman, mild, and beautiful! I should have scratch'd out your unseeing eyes, ACT V. Sil. Amen, amen. Go on, good Eglamour, Out at the postern by the abbey-wall. [Exit. I fear, I am attended by some spies. If we recover that, we are sure enough. [Exeunt. SCENE II.-The Same. A Room in the DUKE'S Palace. Enter THURIO, PROTEUS, and JULIA. Thu. Sir Proteus, what says Silvia to my suit? Pro. O, sir! I find her milder than she was; |