so good a wife, but she is now dead and gone, lethæoque jacet condita sarcophago. I reply to him in Seneca's words, if such a woman at least ever was to be had, 1" He did either so find or make her; if he found her, he may as happily find another; if he made her," as Critobulus in Xenophon did by his, he may as good cheap inform another, et bona tam sequitur, quam bona prima fuit; "he need not despair, so long as the same master is to be had." But was she good? Had she been so tried peradventure as that Ephesian widow in Petronius, by some swaggering soldier, she might not have held out. Many a man would have been willingly rid of his; before thou wast bound, now thou art free; 2" and 'tis but a folly to love thy fetters though they be of gold." Come into a third place, you shall have an aged father sighing for a son, a pretty child; 8" Impube pectus quale vel impia Molliret Thracum pectora.' "He now lies asleep, Would make an impious Thracian weep." Nondum experta Or some fine daughter that died young. novi gaudia prima tori. Or a forlorn son for his deceased father. But why? Prior exiit, prior intravit, he came first, and he must go first. Tu frustra pius, heu, &c. What, wouldst thou have the laws of nature altered, and him to live always? Julius Cæsar, Augustus, Alcibiades, Galen, Aristotle, lost their fathers young. And why on the other side shouldst thou so heavily take the death of thy little son? 5" Num quia nec fato, meritâ nec morte peribat, Sed miser ante diem " he died before his time, perhaps, not yet come to the solstice of his age, yet was he not mortal? Hear that divine Epic 1 Uxorem bonam aut invenisti, aut sic fecisti; si inveneris, aliam habere te posse ex hoc intelligamus: si feceris, bene speres, salvus est artifex. 2 Stulti est 3 Hor. compedes licet aureas amare. tetus, "If thou covet thy wife, friends, children, should live always, thou art a fool." He was a fine child indeed, dignus Apollineis lachrymis, a sweet, a loving, a fair, a witty child, of great hope, another Eteoneus, whom Pindarus the poet and Aristides the rhetorician so much lament; but who can tell whether he would have been an honest man? He might have proved a thief, a rogue, a spendthrift, a disobedient son, vexed and galled thee more than all the world beside; he might have wrangled with thee and disagreed, or with his brothers, as Eteocles and Polynices, and broke thy heart; he is now gone to eternity, as another Ganymede, in the 1flower of his youth, "as if he had risen," saith 2 Plutarch, "from the midst of a feast," before he was drunk, "the longer he had lived, the worse he would have been," et quo vita longior (Ambrose thinks), culpa numerosior, more sinful, more to answer he would have had. If he was naught, thou mayest be glad he is gone; if good, be glad thou hadst such a son. Or art thou sure he was good? It may be he was an hypocrite, as many are, and howsoever he spake thee fair, peradventure he prayed, amongst the rest that Icaro Menippus heard at Jupiter's whispering-place in Lucian, for his father's death, because he now kept him short, he was to inherit much goods, and many fair manors after his decease. Or put case he was very good, suppose the best, may not thy dead son expostulate with thee, as he did in the same 3 Lucian, “why dost thou lament my death, or call me miserable that am much more happy than thyself? what misfortune is befallen me? Is it because I am not so bald, crooked, old, rotten, as thou art? What have I lost, some of your good cheer, gay clothes, music, singing, dancing, kissing, merrymeetings, thalami lu 1 Deus quos diligit juvenes rapit, Menan. 2 Consol. ad Apol. Apollonius filius tuus in flore decessit, ante nos ad æternitatem digressus, tanquam e convivio abiens, priusquam in errorem aliquem e temulentiâ incideret, quales in longâ senectâ accidere solent. 3 Tom. 1, Tract. de luctu. Quid me mortuum miserum vocas, qui te sum multo felicior? aut quid acerbi mihi putas conti gisse? an quia non sum malus senex, ut tu facie rugosus, incurvus, &c. O demens, quid tibi videtur in vita boni? nimirum amicitias, coenas, &c. Longe melius non esurire quam edere; non sitire, &c. Gaude potius quod morbos et febres effugerim, angorem animi, &c. Ejulatus quid prodest, quid lachrymæ, &c. bentias, &c., is that it? Is it not much better not to hunger at all than to eat; not to thirst than to drink to satisfy thirst; not to be cold than to put on clothes to drive away cold? You had more need rejoice that I am freed from diseases, agues, cares, anxieties, livor, love, covetousness, hatred, envy, malice, that I fear no more thieves, tyrants, enemies, as you do." Id cinerem et manes credis curare sepultos? "Do they concern us at all, think you, when we are once dead?" Condole not others then overmuch, "wish not or fear thy death." 2 Summum nec optes diem nec metuas; 'tis to no purpose. "Excessi e vitæ ærumnis facilisque lubensque Ne pejora ipsâ morte dehinc videam." "I left this irksome life with all mine heart, Lest worse than death should happen to my part." 3 Cardinal Brundusinus caused this epitaph in Rome to be inscribed on his tomb, to show his willingness to die, and tax those that were so loath to depart. Weep and howl no more then, 'tis to small purpose; and as Tully adviseth us in the like case, Non quos amisimus, sed quantum lugere par sit cogitemus: think what we do, not whom we have lost. So David did, 2 Sam. xxii., "While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept; but being now dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him again? I shall go to him, but he cannot return to me." He that doth otherwise is an intemperate, a weak, a silly, and indiscreet man. Though Aristotle deny any part of intemperance to be conversant about sorrow, I am of Seneca's mind, "he that is wise is temperate, and he that is temperate is constant, free from passion, and he that is such a one, is without sorrow," as all wise men should be. The Thracians wept still when a child was born, feasted and made mirth when any man was buried; and so should we rather be glad for such as die well, that they are so happily freed from the miseries of this life. When Eteoneus, 5 1 Virgil. 4 2 Hor. 3 Chytræus, deliciis Europæ. 4 Epist. 85. 5 Sardus, de mor. gen. that noble young Greek, was so generally lamented by his friends, Pindarus the poet feigns some god saying, Silete, homines, non enim miser est, &c., be quiet good folks, this young man is not so miserable as you think; he is neither gone to Styx nor Acheron, sed gloriosus et senii expers heros, he lives forever in the Elysian fields. He now enjoys that happiness which your great kings so earnestly seek, and wears that garland for which ye contend. If our present weakness is such, we cannot moderate our passions in this behalf, we must divert them by all means, by doing something else, thinking of another subject. The Italians most part sleep away care and grief, if it unseasonably seize upon them, Danes, Dutchmen, Polanders and Bohemians drink it down, our countrymen go to plays; do something or other, let it not transpose thee, or by 1" premeditation make such accidents. familiar," as Ulysses that wept for his dog, but not for his wife, quòd paratus esset animo obfirmato, (Plut. de anim. tranq.) "accustom thyself, and harden beforehand by seeing other men's calamities, and applying them to thy present estate;" Prævisum est levius quod fuit ante malum. I will conclude with 2Epictetus, "If thou lovest a pot, remember 'tis but a pot thou lovest, and thou wilt not be troubled when 'tis broken; if thou lovest a son or wife, remember they were mortal, and thou wilt not be so impatient." And for false fears and all other fortuitous inconveniences, mischances, calamities, to resist and prepare ourselves, not to faint is best: Stultum est timere quod vitari non potest, 'tis a folly to fear that which cannot be avoided, or to be discouraged at all. 4" Nam quisquis trepidus pavet vel optat, Nectit quâ valeat trahi catenam. "For he that so faints or fears, and yields to his passion, 1 Præmeditatione facilem reddere quemque casum. Plutarchus, consolatione ad Apollonium. Assuefacere non casibus debemus. Tull. lib. 3, Tusculan. quæst. 2 Cap. 8. Si ollam diligas, memento te ollam diligere, non perturbaberis eâ confractâ; si filium aut uxorem, memento hominem a te diligi, &c. 4 Boeth. lib. 1, pros. 4. 3 Seneca. flings away his own weapons, makes a cord to bind himself, and pulls a beam upon his own head.” MEMB. VI. Against Envy, Livor, Emulation, Hatred, Ambition, Selflove, and all other Affections. AGAINST those other passions and affections, there is no better remedy than as mariners when they go to sea provide all things necessary to resist a tempest: to furnish ourselves with philosophical and Divine precepts, other men's examples, 2Periculum ex aliis facere, sibi quod ex usu siet; To balance our hearts with love, charity, meekness, patience, and counterpoise those irregular motions of envy, livor, spleen, hatred, with their opposite virtues, as we bend a crooked staff another way, to oppose 8" sufferance to labour, patience to reproach," bounty to covetousness, fortitude to pusillanimity, meekness to anger, humility to pride, to examine ourselves for what cause we are so much disquieted, on what ground, what occasion is it just or feigned? And then either to pacify ourselves by reason, to divert by some other object, contrary passion, or premeditation. Meditari secum oportet quo pacto adversam ærumnam ferat, Pericla, damna, exilia peregrè rediens semper cogitet, aut filii peccatum, aut uxoris mortem, aut morbum filiæ, communia esse hæc: fieri posse, ut ne quid animo sit novum. To make them familiar, even all kind of calamities, that when they happen they may be less troublesome unto us. In secundis meditare, quo pacto feras adversa; or out of mature judgment to avoid the effect, or disannul the cause, as they do that are troubled with toothache, pull them quite out. 1 Qui invidiam ferre non potest, ferre contemptum cogitur. Ter. HeauSi labor ob tont. 2 3 Epictetus, c. 14. jectus fuerit tolerantiæ, convicium patientiæ, &c., si ita consueveris, vitiis non obtemperabis. 4 Ter. Phor. |