(qui contendit, sibi convicium facit), their life is a perpetual brawl, they snarl like so many dogs, with their wives, children, servants, neighbours, and all the rest of their friends, they can agree with nobody. But to such as are judicious, meek, submissive, and quiet, these matters are easily remedied; they will forbear upon all such occasions, neglect, contemn, or take no notice of them, dissemble, or wisely turn it off. If it be a natural impediment, as a red nose, squint eyes, crooked legs, or any such imperfection, infirmity, disgrace, reproach, the best way is to speak of it first thyself, 1 and so thou shalt surely take away all occasions from others to jest at, or contemn, that they may perceive thee to be careless of it. Vatinius was wont to scoff at his own deformed feet, to prevent his enemies' obloquies and sarcasms in that kind; or else by prevention, as Cotys, king of Thrace, that brake a company of fine glasses presented to him, with his own hands, lest he should be overmuch moved when they were broken by chance. And sometimes again, so that it be discreetly and moderately done, it shall not be amiss to make resistance, to take down such a saucy companion, no better means to vindicate himself to purchase final peace; for he that suffers himself to be ridden, or through pusillanimity or sottishness will let every man baffle him, shall be a common laughingstock to flout at. As a cur that goes through a village, if he clap his tail between his legs, and run away, every cur will insult over him; but if he bristle up himself, and stand to it, give but a countersnarl, there's not a dog dares meddle with him much is in a man's courage and discreet carriage of himself. Many other grievances there are, which happen to mortals in this life, from friends, wives, children, servants, masters, companions, neighbours, our own defaults, ignorance, errors, intemperance, indiscretion, infirmities, &c., and many good remedies to mitigate and oppose them, many divine precepts 1 Bion said his father was a rogue, his mother a whore, to prevent obloquy, and to show that nought belonged to him but goods of the mind. to counterpoise our hearts, special antidotes both in Scripture. and human authors, which, whoso will observe, shall purchase much ease and quietness unto himself; I will point out a few. Those prophetical, apostolical admonitions are well known to all; what Solomon, Siracides, our Saviour Christ himself hath said tending to this purpose, as "Fear God; obey the prince; be sober and watch; pray continually; be angry but sin not; remember thy last; fashion not yourselves to this world, &c.; apply yourselves to the times; strive not with a mighty man; recompense good for evil; let nothing be done through contention or vainglory, but with meekness of mind, every man esteeming of others better than himself; love one another;" or that epitome of the law and the prophets, which our Saviour inculcates, "love God above all, thy neighbour as thyself;" and "whatsoever you would that men should do unto you, so do unto them;" which Alexander Severus writ in letters of gold, and used as a motto, 1 Hierom commends to Celantia as an excellent way, amongst so many enticements and worldly provocations, to rectify her life. Out of human authors take these few cautions, 2" Know thyself. Be contented with thy lot. 1 Trust not wealth, beauty, nor parasites, they will bring thee to destruction. 5 Have peace with all men, war with vice. 6 Be not idle. 7 Look before you leap. 8 Beware of, Had I wist. 9 Honour thy parents, speak well of friends. Be temperate in four things, lingua, loculis, oculis, et poculis. Watch thine eye. 10 Moderate thine expenses. Hear much, speak little, 11 sustine et abstine. If thou seest aught amiss in another, mend it in thyself. Keep thine own counsel, reveal not thy secrets, be silent in thine intentions. 12 Give not ear to taletellers, babblers, be not scurrilous in conversation: 18 jest without bitterness; give no man cause 1 Lib. 2, ep. 25. 2 Nosce teipsum. 3 Contentus abi. 4 Ne fidas opibus, neque parasitis, trahunt in præcipitium. 5 Pacem cum hominibus habe, bellum cum vitiis. Othon. 2, imperat. symb. 6 Dæmon te nunquam otiosum inveniat. Hieron. 7 Diu deliberandum quod statuendum est semel. 8 Insipientis est dicere non putâram. 9 Ames pa rentem, si æquum; aliter, feras; præstes parentibus pietatem, amicis dilectionem. 10 Comprime linguam. Quid de quoque viro et cui dicas sæpe caveto. Libentius audias quàm loquaris; vive ut vivas. 11 Epictetus: optime feceris si ea fugeris quæ in alio reprehendis. Nemini dixeris quæ nolis efferri. 12 Fuge susurrones. Percontatorem fugito, &c. 13 Sint of offence; set thine house in order; 1take heed of suretyship. 2 Fide et diffide, as a fox on the ice, take heed whom you trust. 8 Live not beyond thy means. 4 Give cheerfully. Pay thy dues willingly. Be not a slave to thy money; 5omit not occasion, embrace opportunity, lose no time. Be humble to thy superiors, respective to thine equals, affable to all, but not familiar. Flatter no man. 7 Lie not, dissemble not. Keep thy word and promise, be constant in a good resolution. Speak truth. Be not opiniative, maintain no factions. Lay no wagers, make no comparisons. 8 Find no faults, meddle not with other men's matters. Admire not thyself. Be not proud or popular. Insult not. Fortunam reverenter habe. 10 Fear not that which cannot be avoided. 11 Grieve not for that which cannot be recalled. 12 Undervalue not thyself. 18 Accuse no man, commend no man rashly. Go not to law without great cause. Strive not with a greater man. Cast not off an old friend, take heed of a reconciled enemy. 14 If thou come as a guest stay not too long. Be not unthankful. Be meek, merciful, and patient. Do good to all. Be not fond of fair words. 15 Be not a neuter in a faction; moderate thy passions. 16 Think no place without a witness. 17 Admonish thy friend in secret, commend him in public. Keep good company. 18 Love others to be beloved thyself. Ama tanquam osurus. Amicus tardo fias. Provide for a tempest. Noli irritare crabrones. Do not prostitute thy soul for gain. Make not a fool of thyself to make others merry. Marry not an old crony or a fool for money. Be not oversolicitous or curious. Seek that which may be found. Seem not greater than thou art. Take thy pleasure soberly. 11 De re amis quod vitari non potest. sales sine vilitate. Sen. 1 Sponde, 8 Ocymum ne terito. 1 Live merrily as thou canst. 2 Take heed by other men's examples. Go as thou wouldest be met, sit as thou wouldest be found, yield to the time, follow the stream. Wilt thou live free from fears and cares? Live innocently, keep thyself upright, thou needest no other keeper," &c. Look for more in Isocrates, Seneca, Plutarch, Epictetus, &c., and for defect, consult with cheese trenchers and painted cloths. MEMB. VIII. Against Melancholy itself. "EVERY man," saith 5 Seneca, "thinks his own burden the heaviest," and a melancholy man above all others complains most; weariness of life, abhorring all company and light, fear, sorrow, suspicion, anguish of mind, bashfulness, and those other dread symptoms of body and mind, must needs aggravate this misery; yet compared to other maladies, they are not so heinous as they be taken. For first this disease is either in habit or disposition, curable or incurable. If new and in disposition, 'tis commonly pleasant, and it may be helped. If inveterate, or a habit, yet they have lucida intervalla, sometimes well, and sometimes ill; or if more continuate, as the Vegentes were to the Romans, 'tis hostis magis assiduus quàm gravis, a more durable enemy than dangerous; and amongst many inconveniences, some comforts are annexed to it. First it is not catching, and as Erasmus comforted himself, when he was grievously sick of the stone, though it was most troublesome, and an intolerable pain to him, yet it was no whit offensive to others, not loathsome to the spectators, ghastly, fulsome, terrible, as plagues, 1 Dum fata sinunt vivite læti, Seneca. 2 Id apprime in vita utile, ex aliis observare sibi quod ex usu siet. Ter. 3 Dum furor in cursu currenti cede furori. Cretizandum cum Crete. Temporibus servi, nec contra flamina flato. 4 Nulla certior custodia innocentiâ: inexpugnabile munimentum munimento non egere. 5 Unicuique suum onus intolerabile videtur. 6 Livius. apoplexies, leprosies, wounds, sores, tetters, pox, pestilent agues are, which either admit of no company, terrify or offend those that are present. In this malady, that which is, is wholly to themselves; and those symptoms not so dreadful, if they be compared to the opposite extremes. They are most part bashful, suspicious, solitary, &c., therefore no such ambitious, impudent intruders as some are, no sharkers, no cony-catchers, no prowlers, no smellfeasts, praters, panders, parasites, bawds, drunkards, whoremasters; necessity and defect compel them to be honest; as Mitio told Demea in the 1 comedy, "Hæc si neque ego neque tu fecimus, Non sinit egestas facere nos." "If we be honest 'twas poverty made us so;" if we melancholy men be not as bad as he that is worst, 'tis our dame melancholy kept us so: Non deerat voluntas sed facultas.2 Besides they are freed in this from many other infirmities, solitariness makes them more apt to contemplate, suspicion wary, which is a necessary: humour in these times, 3 Nam pol qui maximè cavet, is sæpe cautor captus est, "he that takes most heed, is often circumvented and overtaken." Fear and sorrow keep them temperate and sober, and free them from any dissolute acts, which jollity and boldness thrust men upon; they are therefore no sicarii, roaring boys, thieves or assassins. As they are soon dejected, so they are as soon, by soft words and good persuasions, reared. Wearisomeness of life makes them they are not so besotted on the transitory vain pleasures of the world. If they dote in one thing, they are wise and well understanding in most other. If it be inveterate, they are insensati, most part doting, or quite mad, insensible of any wrongs, ridiculous to others, but most happy and secure to themselves. Dotage is a state which many much magnify and commend; so is simplicity and folly, as he said, hic furor, ó superi, sit mihi perpetuus. Some think 1 Ter. Scen. 2, Adelphus. 3 Plautus. 4 Petronius Catul. 2Twas not the will but the way was wanting." |