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in his company, but I never fufpected he was minuting down every foolish thing, that escaped my lips in the unguarded moments of convivial gaiety; if I had, I would have avoided him like the peftilence. It is hard upon a man, let me tell you, Sir, very hard indeed to find his follies upon record, and I could almost wish his words were true, and that I were dead in earnest, rather than alive to read fuch nonfenfe, and find myself made the father of it.

Judge of my furprise, when paffing along Vigo-lane upon a friendly call, as I intended it, to this very gentleman, of whom I complain, I took up a volume from a stall in a whitey-brown paper binding, and opening it at the title-page met my own face, staring me out of countenance full in the front: I started back with horror; nature never gave me any reason to be fond of my own features; I never survey my face but when I fhave myself, and then I am afhamed of it; I truft it is no true type of my heart, for it is a forry fample of nature's handywork, to fay no worse of it. What the devil tempted him to stick it there I cannot guess, any more than I can at his publishing a bundle of nonfenfical fayings and doings, which I deteft and difavow. As for his printing my laft will and teftament, and difpofing of my poor per

fonals

fonals at pleasure, I care little about it; if he had taken only my money and fpared my life, I would not have complained.

And now what is my redrefs? I apply myfelf to you in my diftrefs as an author, whofe book is in pretty general circulation, and one, as I perceive, who affaults no man's living fame and character; I defire therefore you will take mine into your protection, and if you can think of any thing to deter the world in future from fuch flippancies, you are welcome to make what ufe you please of this letter; for as I have always ftrove to do what little fervice I could to the living, when I was allowed to be one of their number, fo now I am voted out of their company, I would gladly be of fome ufe to the dead.

Your's, whilft I lived,

H. POSTHUMOUS.

P. S. I am forry I did not leave you fomething in my will, as I believe you deserve it as well, and want it more than fome that are in it. If I live to die a fecond time, I will be fure to remember you.

As I am not verfed in the law of libels, I know not what advice to give in Pofthumous's cafe, whom I would by no means wish to see entangled

entangled in further difficulties; though I think he might fairly fay to his biographer with a courtly poet of this century,

Oh! libel me with all things but thy praise!

The practice, which some of our public newswriters are in, of treating their readers with a farrago of puerile anecdotes and scraps of characters, has probably led the way to a very foolish fashion, which is gaining ground amongst us: No fooner does a great man die, than the fmall wits creep into his coffin, like the fwarm of bees in the carcafe of Sampson's lion, to make honey from his corpfe. It is high time that the good fenfe of the nation fhould correct this impertinence...

I have availed myself of Pofthumous's permiffion to publifh his letter, and I fhall without fcruple fubjoin to it one of a very different fort, which I have received from a correfpondent, whose name I do not mean to expofe; it is with fome reluctance I introduce it into this work, because it brings a certain perfon on the ftage, whom I have no defire to exhibit oftener thanĮ can help; but as I think it will be a confolation to Pofthumous to fhew him others in the fame hazard with himself, I hope my readers will let it pafs with this apology.

Το

To the OBSERVER.

SIR,

I am a man, who fay a great many good things myself, and hear many good things faid by others; for I frequent clubs and coffee-rooms in all parts of the town, attend the pleadings in Westminster Hall, am remarkably fond of the company of men of genius and never miss a dinner at the Manfion House upon my Lord Mayor's day.

I am in the habit of committing to paper every thing of this fort, whether it is of my own faying, or any other perfon's, when I am convinced I myself should have faid it, if he had not: Thefe I call my confcientious witticisms, and give them a leaf in my common-place book to themselves.

I have the pleafure to tell you that my collection is now become not only confiderable in bulk, but, (that I may speak humbly of it's merit) I will alfo fay, that it is to the full as good, and far more creditable to any gentleman's character, than the books, which have been publifhed about a certain great wit lately deceased, whose memory has been fo completely diffected by the operators in Stationer's Hall.

Though

Though I have as much respect for pofterity as any man can entertain for persons he is not acquainted with, ftill I cannot understand how a poft-obit of this fort can profit me in my life, unlefs I could make it over to fome purchaser upon beneficial conditions. Now, as there are people in the world, who have done many famous actions without having once uttered a real good thing, as it is called, I should think my collection might be an acceptable purchase to a gentleman of this description, and such an one should have it a bargain, as I would be very glad to give a finishing to his character, which I can best compare to a coat of Adams's plaister on a well-built house.

For my own part, being neither more nor less than a haberdasher of small wares, and having scarcely rambled beyond the boundaries of the bills of mortality, fince I was out of my apprenticeship, I have not the presumption to think the anecdotes of my own life important enough for pofthumous publication; neither do I fuppofe my writings, (though pretty numerous, as my books will teftify, and many great names standing amongst them, which it is probable I fhall never cross out,) will be thought fo interefting to the public, as to come into competition with the lively memoirs of a Bellamy and a

Baddeley,

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