See Libels, Satires-here you have it-read.

P. Libels and Satires! lawless things indeed! 150 But grave Epiftles, bringing Vice to light, Such as a King might read, a Bishop write, Such as Sir Robert would approve

F. Indeed?

The Cafe is alter'd-you may then proceed;
• In fuch a cafe the Plaintiff will be hifs'd,
My Lords the judges laugh, and you're dismiss'd.

H. Efto, fiquis n mala, fed bona fi quis Judice condiderit laudatus Caefare? fi quis Opprobriis dignum laceraverit, integer ipfe? T. Solventur rifu tabule: tu miffus abibis.

155

BOOK II.

SATIRE II.

To Mr. BETHEL.

WHAT, and how great, the Virtue and the Art

To live on little with a cheerful heart;

b(A doctrine fage, but truly none of mine)
Let's talk, my friends, but talk before we dine.
Not when a gilt Buffet's reflected pride
Turns you from found Philofophy aside;
Not when from plate to plate your eye-balls roll,
And the brain dances to the mantling bowl.

Hear Bethel's Sermon, one not vers'd in schools,
But ftrong in fenfe, and wife without the rules.
b Go work, hunt, exercife! (he thus began)`
Then fcorn a homely dinner, if you can.

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10

UAE virtus & quanta, boni, fit vivere parvo,
(Nec meus hic fermo : fed qua praecepit Ofellus,

Rufticus, abnormis Sapiens, craffaque Minerva)
Difcite, non inter lances menfafque nitentes ;

Cum ftupet infanis acies fulgoribus, et cum
Acclinis falfis animus meliora recufat:

c Verum hic impransi mecum disquirite. Cur hoc?
Dicam, fi potero, male verum examinat omnis
Corruptus judex. Leporum fectatus, equove
Laffus ab indomito; vel (fi Romana fatigat

i Your wine lock'd up, your Butler stroll'd abroad, Or fish deny'd (the river yet unthaw'd)

If then plain bread and milk will do the feat,
The pleasure lies in you, and not the meat.

15

k Preach as I please, I doubt our curious men-
Will chufe a pheasant still before a hen ;
Yet hens of Guinea full as good I hold,
Except you eat the feathers green and gold.

Militia affuetum graecari) feu pila velox,
Molliter aufterum ftudio fallente laborem ;
Seu te difcus agit, pete cedentem aëra disco :
Cum labor extulerit faftidia; ficcus, inanis,
Sperne cibum vilem : nifi Hymettia mella Falerno,
Ne biberis, diluta. i foris eft promus, et atrum
Defendens pifces hiemat mare: cum fale panis
Latrantem ftomachum bene leniet. unde putas, aut
Quî partum? non in caro nidore voluptas
Summa, fed in teipfo eft. tu pulmentaria quaere
Sudando. pinguem vitiis albumque neque oftrea,
Nec fcarus, aut poterit peregrina juvare lagoïs.

k Vix tamen eripiam, pofito pavone, velis quin
Hoc potius quam gallina tergere palatum ?
Corruptus vanis rerum: quia veneat auro
Rara avis, et picta pandat spectacula cauda :

20

Of

Tamquam ad rem attineat quidquam. Num vesceris ista, Quam laudas, pluma? coctove num adeft honor idem? Carne tamen quamvis distat nihil hac, magis illa; Imparibus formis deceptum te patet, esto.

Unde datum fentis, lupus hic, Tiberinus an alto

1 of carps and mullets why prefer the great, (Though cut in pieces ere my Lord can eat) Yet for fmall Turbots fuch esteem profess ? Because God made these large, the other lefs.

Oldfield, with more than Harpy throat endued, Cries, "Send me, Gods! a whole Hog barbecued!”

Oh blaft it," South-winds! till a ftench exhale
Rank as the ripeness of a rabbit's tail.

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By what Criterion do you eat, d'ye think,
If this is priz'd for sweetness, that for stink?
When the tir'd glutton labours through a treat,
He finds no relish in the sweetest meat,
He calls for fomething bitter, fomething four,
And the rich feaft concludes extremely poor:
Cheap eggs, and herbs, and olives, still we see;
Thus much is left of old Simplicity!

Captus hiet? pontefne inter jactatus, an amnis
Oftia fub Tufci? laudas, infane, trilibrem

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35

The

Mullum; in fingula quem minuas pulmenta neceffe est. Ducit te fpecies, video. quo pertinet ergo

Proceros odiffe lupos ? quia fcilicet illis

Majorem natura modum dedit, his breve pondus.
Jejunus raro ftomachus vulgaria temnit.

m Porrectum magno magnum spectare catino Vellem, ait Harpyiis gula digna rapacibus. At vos, n Praesentes Auftri, coquite horum opfonia; quamquam Putet aper rhombufque recens, mala copia quando Aegrum follicitat stomachum; cum rapula plenus Atque acidas mavult inulas necdum omnis abacta

P The Robin-red-breast till of late had reft,
And children facred held a Martin's neft,
Till Baccaficos fold fo dev'lish dear

To one that was, or would have been, a Peer.
9 Let me extol a Cat, on oifters fed,
I'll have a Party at the Bedford-head;
Or ev❜n to crack live Crawfish recommend;
I'd never doubt at Court to make a friend.

r 'Tis yet in vain, I own, to keep a pother
About one vice, and fall into the other:
Between Excess and Famine lies a mean;
Plain, but not fordid; though not splendid, clean.
s Avidien, or his Wife (no matter which,

t

For him you'll call a dog, and her a bitch)
Sell their presented partridges, and fruits,
And humbly live on rabbits and on roots :

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45

50

One

Pauperies epulis regum : nam vilibus ovis

Nigrifque eft oleis hodie locus. Haud ita pridem
Galloni praeconis erat accipenfere menfa

Infamis. quid? tum rhombos minus aequora alebant?
P Tutus erat rhombus, tutoque ciconia nido,
Donec vos auctor docuit praetorius, ergo
4 Si quis nunc mergos fuaves edixerit affos,
Parebit parvi docilis Romana juventus.

r Sordidus a tenui victus diftabit, Ofello Judice: nam fruftra vitium vitaveris iftud, Si te alio pravus detorferis. s Avidienus,

Cui Canis ex vero ductum cognomen adhaeret, Quinquennes oleas eft, et fylveftria corna;