I cannot number 'em, they were so many, All gaping here for legacies; but I, Taking the advantage of his naming you, (Signior Corvino, Signior Corvino) took Paper, and pen, and ink, and there I ask'd him, Whom he would have his heir? Corvino. Who Should be executor? Corvino. And, To any question he was silent to, I still interpreted the nods he made, (Through weakness) for consent: and sent home th'others,

Nothing bequeath'd them, but to cry and curse. Corv. O, my dear Mosca. Does he not perceive us? [They embrace. Mos. No more than a blind harper. He knows

no man.

No face of friend, nor name of any servant,
Who 'twas that fed him last, or gave him drink:
Not those he hath begotten, or brought up,
Can he remember.

Corv. Has he children?

Mos. Bastards,

Some dozen, or more, that he begot on beggars, Gipsies, and Jews, and Blackamoors, when he was drunk.

Knew you not that, sir? 'Tis the common fable.
The dwarf, the fool, the eunuch are all his ;
He's the true father of his family,

In all, save me: but he has giv'n 'em nothing. Core. That's well, that's well. Art sure he does not hear us?

Mos. Sure, sir? Why, look you, credit your

own sense.

The pox approach, and add to your diseases, If it would send you hence the sooner, sir. For your incontinence it hath deserv'd it Throughly and throughly, and the plague to boot. (You may come near, sir,) would you would once close

Those filthy eyes of your's, that flow with slime, Like two frog-pits; and those same hanging cheeks,

Cover'd with hide, instead of skin: (Nay, help, sir,)

That look like frozen dish-clouts, set on end. Corv. Or, like an old smok'd wall, on which

the rain

Ran down in streaks.

Mos. Excellent, sir, speak out;
You may be louder yet: A culvering,
Discharged in his ear, would hardly bore it.

Cort. His nose is like a common-shore, still running.

Mos. 'Tis good! and, what his mouth?
Corv. A very draught.
Mos. O, stop it up—
Coro. By no means.
Mos. Pray you let me.

Faith, I could stifle him, rarely, with a pillow,
As well as any woman that should keep him.
Core. Do as you will, but I'll begone.
Mos. Be so;

It is your presence makes him last so long.
Cort. I pray you, use no violence.
Mos. No, sir, why

Corv. Nay, at your discretion.

Mos. Well, good sir, be gone.

Corv. I will not trouble him now, to take my pearl?

Mos. Puh, nor your diamond. What a needless care

Is this afflicts you? Is not all here yours? Am not I here? whom you have made your creature?

That owe my being to you?

Corc. Grateful Mosca!

Thou art my friend, my fellow, my companion,
My partner, and shalt share in all my fortunes.
Mos. Excepting one.
Core. What's that?

Mos. Your gallant wife, sir. [Erit CORY.
Now, is he gone: We had no other means
To shoot him hence, but this.
Volp. My divinc Mosca!

Thou hast to-day outgone thyself. Who's there? [Another knocks.

I will be troubled with no more. Prepare
Me music, dances, banquets, all delights;
The Turk is not more sensual in his pleasures,
Than will Volpone. Let me see, a pearl ?
A diamond plate? cecchines? Good morning's
purchase;

Why, this is better than rob churches yet;
Or fat, by eating (once a month) a man.
Who is't?

Mos. The beauteous lady Would-be, sir, Wife to the English knight, Sir Politic Would-be, (This is the stile, sir, is directed me)

Hath sent to you, how you have slept to-night, And if you would be visited.

Volp. Not now.

Some three hours hence

Mos. I told the squire so much.

Volp. When I am high with mirth and wine: Then, then.

'Fore Heav'n, I wonder at the desperate valour Of the bold English, that they dare let loose Their wives to all encounters!

Mos. Sir, this knight

Had not his name for nothing, he is politic,
And knows, howe'er his wife affects strange airs,
She hath not yet the face to be dishonest.
But had she Signior Corvino's wife's face-
Vo'p. Has she so rare a face?

Mos. O, sir, the wonder,

The blazing star of Italy! a wench

O' the first year! a beauty ripe as harvest!
Whose skin is whiter than a swan all over! \\
Than silver, snow, or lilies! a soft lip,
Would tempt you to eternity of kissing!
And flesh that melteth, in the touch, to blood
Bright as your gold! and lovely as your gold!
Volp. Why, had I not known this before?
Mos. Alas, sir,

Myself but yesterday discovered it.
Volp. How might I see her?

Mos. O, not possible;

She's kept as warily as is your gold:

POLITIC WOULD-BE and PEREGRINE.

Pol. Sir, to a wise man, all the world's his soil.

It is not Italy, nor France, nor Europe,
That must bound me, if my fates call me forth.
Yet, I protest, it is no salt desire
Of seeing countries, shifting a religion,
Nor any disaffection to the state

Where I was bred, (and unto which I owe
My dearest plots) hath brought me out; much
less,

That idle, antic, stale, gray-headed project
Of knowing men's minds and manners, with
Ulysses:

But, a peculiar humour of my wife's,
Laid for this heighth of Venice, to observe,
To quote, to learn the language, and so forth-
I hope you travel, sir, with licence?

Per. Yes.

Per. Good sir Politic!

I cry you mercy; I have heard much of you: 'Tis true, sir, of your raven.

Pol. On your knowledge?

Per. Yes, and your lion's whelping in the

Tower.

Pol. Another whelp! Per. Another, sir. Pol. Now, Heaven!

What prodigies be these! The fires at Berwick! And the new star! these things concurring, strange!

And full of omen! Saw you these meteors ?
Per. I did, sir.

Pol. Fearful! Pray you, sir, confirm me, Were there three porpoises seen above the bridge,

As they give out?

Per. Six, and a sturgeon, sir.

Pol. I am astonish'd!

Per, Nay, sir, be not so;

I'll tell you a greater prodigy than these----
Pol. What should these things portend!
Per. The very day

(Let me be sure) that I put forth from London,
There was a whale discover'd in the river,
As high as Woolwich, that had waited there
(Few know how many months) for the subversion
Of the Stode fleet.

Pol. Is't possible? Believe it,

'Twas either sent from Spain, or the archdukes!
Spinola's whale, upon my life, my credit!
Will they not leave these projects? Worthy sir,
Som other news.

Ier. Faith, Stone, the fool, is dead;

In a ship royal of the king's.

Per. This fellow,

Pol. Is Mass' Stone dead!

Per. He's dead, sir: Why, I hope

sir?

(Were he well known,) would be a precious thing To fit our English stage! He that should write But such a fellow, should be thought to feign Extremely, if not maliciously.

Pol. Stone dead!

Per. Dead. Lord! how deeply, sir, you apprehend it?

He was no kinsman to you?

Pol. That I know of.

Well! that same fellow was an unknown fook
Per. And yet you knew him, it seems?
Pol. I did so, sir.

I knew him one of the most dangerous heads
Living within the state, and so I held him.
Per. Indeed, sir?

Pol. While he liv'd, in action.

He has receiv'd weekly intelligence,

Upon my knowledge, out of the Low Countries,
(For all parts of the world) in cabbages;
And those dispens'd again to ambassadors,
In oranges, musk-melons, apricots,
Lemons, pome-citrons, and such like: sometimes
In Colchester oysters, and your Selsey cockles.
Per. You make me wonder!

Pol. Sir, upon my knowledge.

Nay, I have observ'd him, at your public ordi

nary

Take his advertisement from a traveller

(A conceal'd statesman) in a trencher of meat;
And, instantly, before the meal was done,
Convey an answer in a tooth-pick.
Per. Strange!

How could this be, sir?

Pol. Why the meat was cut

So like his character, and so laid, as he Must easily read the cypher.

Per. I have heard,

He could not read, sir.

Pol. So 'twas given out,

(In polity) by those that did employ him; But he could read, and had your languages,

And to't, as sound a noddle

Per. I have heard, sir,

Per. As I remember,

Pol. Pity his ignorance.

They are the only knowing men of Europe! Great general scholars, excellent physicians,

were

A kind of subtle nation, near to China.

Pol. Ay, ay, your Mamuluchi. Faith, they had
Their hand in a French plot or two; but they
Were so extremely given to women, as
They made discovery of all: yet I
Had my advices here, on Wednesday last,
From one of their own coat, they were return'd,
Made their relation, as the fashion is,
And now stand fair for fresh employment.
Per. 'Hart!

This Sir Politic will be ignorant of nothing.
It seems, sir, you know all ?

Pol. Not all, sir. But

I have some general notions; I do love
To note, and to observe: though I live out,
Free from the active torrent, yet I'd mark
The currents and the passages of things,
For mine own private use; and know the ebbs
And flows of state.

Per. Believe it, sir, I hold
Myself in no small tie unto my fortunes,
For casting me thus luckily upon you;
Whose knowledge, if your bounty equal it,
May do me great assistance, in instruction
For my behaviour, and my bearing, which
Is yet so rude, and raw-

Pol. Why came you forth
Empty of rules, for travel?
Per. Faith, I had

Some common ones, from out that vulgar gram

And cabinet-counsellors to the greatest princes! The only languaged men of all the world!

Per. And, I have heard, they are most lewd impostors ;

Made all of terms and shreds; no less beliers Of great men's favours, than their own vile med❜cines;

Which they will utter, upon monstrous oaths: Selling that drug for two-pence, ere they part, Which they have valued at twelve crowns before. Pol. Sir, calumnies are answered best with silence:

Yourself shall judge. Who is it mounts, my friends?

Mos. Scoto of Mantua, sir.
Pol. Is't he? Nay, then,

I'll proudly promise, sir, you shall behold
Another man, that has been phant'sied to you.
I wonder yet that he should mount his bank
Here, in this nook, that has been wont t'appear
In face of the Piazza! Here he comes.
Volp. Mount, Zany.

Gre. Follow, follow, follow, follow, follow.
Pol. See how the people follow him! he's a

the Portico, to the Procuratia, should now (after eight months absence from this illustrious city of Venice) humbly retire myself into an obscure nook of the Piazza.

Pol. Did not I, now, object the same?
Per. Peace, sir.

Volp. Let me tell you: I am not (as your Lombard proverb saith) cold on my feet; or content to part with my commodities at a cheaper rate than I accustomed: look not for it. Nor that the calumnious reports of that impudent detractor, and shame to our profession, (Alessandro Buttone, I mean) who gave out, in public, I was condemned a Sforzato to the gallies, for poisoning the cardinal Bembo's-cook, hath at all attached, much less dejected me. No, no, worthy gent. (to tell you true) I cannot endure to see the rabble of these ground Ciarlitani, that spread their cloaks on the pavement, as if they meant to do feats of activity, and then come in lamely, with their mouldy tales out of Boccacio, like stale Tabarine, the fabulist: some of them discoursing their travels, and of their tedious captivity in the Turks' galleys, when indeed (were the truth known) they were the Christians' galleys, where, very temperately, they eat bread, and drank water, as a wholesome penance (enjoined them by their confessors) for base pilferies.

Pol. Note but his bearing, and contempt of these.

Volp. These turdy-facy-nasty-paty-lousy-fartical rogues, with one poor groat's-worth of unprepared antimony, finely wrapt up in several scartoccios, are able, very well, to kill their twenty a-week, and play; yet, these meagre, starved spirits, who have half stopped the organs of their minds with earthly oppilations, want not their favourers among your shrivelled, sallad-eating artizans; who are overjoyed, that they may have their halfpenny-worth of physic, though it purge them into another world, 't makes no matter.

Pol. Excellent! ha' you heard better language, sir?

Volp. Well, let 'em go. And, gentlemen, honourable gentlemen, know, that for this time, our bank, being thus removed from the clamours of the Canaglia, shall be the scene of pleasure and delight; for I have nothing to sell, little or nothing to sell.

Pol. I told you, sir, his end.

Per. You did so, sir.

Volp. I protest, I, and my six servants, are not able to make of this precious liquor so fast as it is fetched away from my lodging, by gentlemen of your city; strangers of the terra-firma; worshipful merchants; ay, and senators too, who, ever since my arrival, have detained me to their uses, by their splendidous liberalities. And worthily for, what avails your rich man to have his magazines stuffed with moscadelli, or of the purest grape, when his physicians prescribe him (on pain of death) to drink nothing but water, cocted with anniseeds? O, health! health! the blessing of the rich! the riches of the poor! who

:

can buy thee at too dear a rate, since there is no enjoying this world without thee! Be not, then, so sparing of your purses, honourable gentlemen, as to abridge the natural course of life— Per. You see his end? Pol. Ay, is't not good?

Volp. For, when a humid flux, or catarrh, by the mutability of air, falls from your head into an arm, or shoulder, or any other part, take you a ducat, or your cecchine of gold, and apply to the place affected; see what good effect it can work. No, no, 'tis this blessed unguento, this rare extraction, that hath only power to disperse all malignant humours, that proceed either of hot, cold, moist, or windy causes—

Per. I would he had put in dry, too.
Pol. Pray you, observe.

Volp. To fortify the most indigest and crude stomach; ay, were it of one that, through extreme weakness, vomited blood, applying only a warm napkin to the place, after the unction and fricace: for the vertigine in the head, putting but a drop into your nostrils, likewise behind the ears; a most sovereign and approved remedy: the mal-caduco, cramps, convulsions, paralysies, epilepsies, tremor-cordia, retired nerves, ill vapours of the spleen, stoppings of the liver, the stone, the strangury, hernia ventosa, iliaco passio; stops a disenteria immediately; easeth the torsion of the small guts, and cures melancholia hypocondriaca, being taken and applied according to my printed receipt. For this is the physician, this the medicine; this counsels, this cures; this gives the direction, this works the effect [Pointing to his bill and his glass]: and (in sum) both together may be termed an abstract of the theoric and practice in the Æsculapian art. 'Twill cost you eight crowns. And, Zan Fritada, pr'ythee sing a verse, extempore, in honour of it.

Pol. How do you like him, sir?
Per. Most strangely, I!

Pol. Is not his language rare?
Per. But alchemy,

never heard the like; or Broughton's books.

SONG.

Had old Hippocrates, or Galen,
(That to their books put med'cines all in)
But known this secret, they had never
(Of which they will be guilty ever)
Been murderers of so much paper,
Or wasted many a hurtless taper :
No Indian drug had e'er been fumed,
Tobacco, sassafras not named;

Ne yet, of guacum one small stick, sir,
Nor Raymund Luliy's great elixir.

Ne had been known the Danish gonswart;
Or Paracelsus with his long sword.

Per. All this yet will not do; eight crowns is high.

Volp. No more!-Gentlemen, If I had but time to discourse to you the miraculous effects of this

my oil, sirnamed Oglio del Scoto; with the countless catalogue of those I have cured of the aforesaid, and many more diseases; the patents and privileges of all the princes and commonwealths of Christendom; or but the depositions of those that appeared on my part before the signiory of the Sanita, and most learned College of Physicians; where I was authorised, upon notice taken of the admirable virtues of my medicaments, and mine own excellency in matter of rare and unknown secrets, not only to disperse them publicly in this famous city, but in all the territories that happily joy under the government of the most pious and magnificent states of Italy. But may some other gallant fellow say, O, there be divers that make profession to have as good and as experimented receipts as yours: Indeed, very many have essayed, like apes, in imitation of that which is really and essentially in me, to make of this oil; bestowed great cost in furnaces, stills, alembecks, continual fires, and preparation of the ingredients, (as indeed there goes to it six hundred several simples, besides some quantity of human fat, for the conglutination, which we buy of the anatomists,) but, when these practitioners come to the last decoction, blow, blow, puff, puff, and all flies in fumo: Ha, ha, ha! Poor wretches! I rather pity their folly and indiscretion, than their loss of time and money; for those may be recovered by industry; but to be a fool born is a disease incurable. For myself, I always from my youth have endeavoured to get the rarest secrets, and book them; either in exchange or for money: I spared nor cost, nor labour, where any thing was worthy to be learned. And, gentlemen! honourable gentlemen! I will undertake (by virtue of chemical art) out of the honourable hat that covers your head, to extract the four elements, that is to say, the fire, air, water, and earth, and return you your felt without burn or stain. For, whilst others have been at the balloo, I have been at my book: And am now past the craggy paths of study, and come to the flow'ry plains of honour and reputation.

Pol. I do assure you, sir, that is his aim.
Volp. But, to our price.

Per. And that withal, Sir Pol.

Volp. You all know, honourable gentlemen! I never valued this ampulla or vial at less than eight crowns; but, for this time, I am content to be deprived of it for six; six crowns is the price; and less in courtesy I know you cannot offer me: Take it, or leave it; howsoever, both it and I am at your service. I ask you not, as the value of the thing, for then I should demand of you a thousand crowns; so the Cardinals Montalto, Fernese, the great Duke of Tuscany, my gossip, with divers other princes, have given me; but I despise money: Only to shew my affection to you, honourable gentlemen! and your illustrious state here, I have neglected the messages of these princes, mine own offices, framed my journey hither, only to present you with the fruits of my travels! Tune your voices once

more to the touch of your instruments, and give the honourable assembly some delightful recreation!

Per. What monstrous and most painful cir

cumstance

Is here, to get some three or four gazettes! Some threepence i' the whole, for that 'twill

come to.

SONG.

You that would last long, list to my song,
Make no more coil, but buy of this oil.
Would you be ever fair and young
?
Stout of teeth, and strong of tongue!
Tart of palate, quick of ear?
Sharp of sight, of nostril clear?
Moist of hand, and light of foot ?
Or (I will come nearer to't)
Would you live free from all discases?
Do the act your mistress pleases?
Yea, fright all aches from your bones?
Here's a med'cine for the nonce.

Volp. Well, I am in a humour, at this time, to make a present of the small quantity my coffer contains: To the rich in courtesy, and to the poor for God's sake. Wherefore now mark: I asked you six crowns, and six crowns at other times you have paid me; you shall not give me six crowns, nor five, nor four, nor three, nor two, nor one, nor half a ducat; no, nor a muccinigo: Six-pence it will cost you, or six hundred pound-expect no lower price; for, by the banner of my front, I will not bate a bagatine, that I will have only a pledge of your loves, to carry something from amongst you, to show I am not contemned by you. Therefore now toss your handkerchiefs chearfully, chearfully! and be advertised, that the first heroic spirit that deigns to grace me with a handkerchief, I will give it a little remembrance of something besides, shall please it better than if I had presented it with a double pistolet.

Per. Will you be that heroic spark, sir Pol? O see! the window has prevented you.

[CELIA at the window throws down her handkerchief.

Volp. Lady, I kiss your bounty; and, for this timely grace you have done your poor Scoto of Mantua, I will return you, over and above my oil, a secret of that high and inestimable nature, shall make you for ever enamour'd on that minute, wherein your eye first descended on so mean, yet not altogether to be despis'd, an object. Here is a powder conceal'd in this paper, of which, if I should speak to the worth, nine thousand volumes were but as one page, that page as a line, that line as a word; so short is this pilgrimage of man, which some call life, to the expressing of it. Would I reflect on the price? Why, the whole world were but as an empire, that empire as a province, that province as a bank, that bank as a private purse, to the purchase of it. I will only tell you, it is the powder