while the Author's belly will be empty." This would have been plain downright honeft dealing, and would have brought the wifhed-for relief at once. We give a fixpence to a good blunt beggar who tells his cafe in three words but we have not time to liften to the canting fybil that offers to tell our fortunes for a halfpenny.

The gazette above mentioned, in good will to Great Britain, does not yield to The Political Progrefs itself. It can do any thing, it can work miracles, when the " public will" requires it. For this year paft, it has kept an army of a hundred thousand Carmagnols in conftant readinefs to invade England, and has even landed them once, and fet them to fricaffeeing the poor English, with as little mercy as they do the poor frogs in their own country. Nor is it fecond to any, with respect to home affairs. It may be called the political barometer of the Union. At a time when the atmosphere of popular opinion feemed to lower over the principal officers of the Federal Government, the Editor, in conformity to the first part of his motto, expunged the word Federal from the title of his gazette. As a reafon for this alteration, he obferves, with his usual modefty: "Previous to the adoption of the Federal

Conftitution, this paper bore an honourable "and decided part in its favour; but this Con"ftitution no longer needs the aid of a News

"

paper." Notwithstanding this plausible excufe, most people thought, that the expunging of the word Federal had fomething ominous in it. I confefs myself to have been of that number; I thought, I could perceive in it a preparatory step to fomething elfe: as fkilful mariners, when they fee a ftorm gathering, throw the heavy lumber overboard, that they may be able to tack with more celerity. And, if things had taken a different turn from what they did, who knows but we might have seen the protean Editor change his prefent refpectable fign, for the head of Citizen Genet! Happily for all parties we have been spared this mortification.

Ac.

I ftop here to throw myfelf on the mercy of the reader. "A digreffion," fays Shaftef bury, " is ever inexcufable in proportion as "the subject of it is contemptible." knowledging, as I do the juftness of this maxim, I am but too well affured, that nothing can apologize for the digreffion I have just been led into.

The Political Progress has more than one ftring to its bow. The Editor above mentioned is furpaffed in charity by one of his brethren of the fame city; the firft has only recommended

*Washington's Head.

་

it to others, while the latter has taken it under his own roof. I fhall trouble the reader with but one inftance, among a hundred, of this gentleman's generofity. He is upon the fubject of the blood that has been fhed in France, fince the commencement of the Revolution. He fays, it would be an easy matter to apologize for all the massacres that have taken place in that country; " but, even taking them as "they are, it will be found, upon reflection, "that, at this moment, the fum of human hap"piness is greater in France than in the Queen of Ifles" thefe are his very words. To prove this, he prefents us with "an anecdote, copied from a work of great merit (to "be bad at the office of the Aurora) entitled, "The Political Progress of Britain." rare anecdote informs us, that, in the year one thousand seven hundred and feventy Seven, a woman was hanged at Tyburn for stealing a piece of linen. Now, how the hanging of a woman at Tyburn, in 1777, could reduce the fum of human happiness in the Queen of Ifles in 1794; and how the reduction of the fum of human happiness in the Queen of Ifles, could make an addition to the fum of human happinefs in France, is, I prefume, a problem to be folved by thofe, and thofe alone, who have been initiated in the arcanum of democratic algebra.

This

Many have been the conjectures on the reafon of this print affuming the name of Aurora. The Editor, after having, like a fecond Phaeton, driven the blazing car of democratic fury, till it was within an inch of burning us all up to cinders, has affumed the gentle gait and modeft veil of the Goddess of the morning: "A right chip of the Old "Block," as Poor Richard fays. Some think, that, having feen the Sun of all his hopes and expectations fet, in the west, he thought it was high time to rife upom us from the east. But, however, this is not the reafon; the thing is an imitation of a French Paper,, conducted by "Le veritable Pere du Chien," and bearing the motto, "Bougrement Patriotic," is fomething wonderful that the Aurora has not adopted a motto fo characteristic of the matter it contains: but to make ufe of a well known democratic quotation, "

It

nemo

repente fuit turpiffimus t." Though perhaps, the Aurora, and fome other prints, may boaft of being an exception to this maxim, yet it may serve as a feasonable hint to their readers..

Never mind, reader; I know what I am about. I have fet my foot. among a nest of

* If I am not mistaken in the French, this means, The real father of the dog.

+ No one ever became infamous all at once.

vipers here; but the poor devils do not know how to fting. Let them writhe and hifs, while we return to The Political Progrefs of

Great Britain.

Taking it for granted, that the Author is neither more nor less than the " forlorn hope" of the phalanx by whom he is encouraged, I do not look upon myfelf as bound to obferve the laws of neutrality towards them, any more than towards him; and therefore I fhall make

very free with them, whenever they may fall in my way. Nor will the title of gentleman, which he has, and very uncitizen like too, bestowed on them, withhold my hand; we know that hawkers and pedlars, fwindlers, highwaymen and pickpockets, call one another gentlemen; and that even the members of every felf-created back door club, except in their fulminations ex officio, take the fame title; but does this prevent any body from thinking and fpeaking of them as they deferve? Certainly not. They claim the liberty of the prefs in the evomition of their anarchical poifon, and fhall not others claim the fame liberty in adminiftering the antidote ?.

What then is this bleffed performance? what does it contain, that fuch uncommon, fuch unnatural efforts fhould be made to drag it into day? Why, The Political Progress, or