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recollecting how Sir Thomas had disguised his torture when I trod upon his toe, I firmly bore my pain in silence, amid the stifled giggling of the ladies and the servants.

3. I will not relate the several blunders which I made during the first course,' or the distress occasioned by my being desired to carve a fowl, or help to various dishes that stood near me; spilling a sauce-boat, and knocking down a salt-cellar: rather let me hasten to the second course, where fresh disasters overwhelmed me quite.

4. I had a piece of rich, sweet pudding on my fork, when Miss Louisa Friendly begged to trouble me for a pigeon that stood near me. In my haste, scarce knowing what I did, I whipped the pudding into my mouth, hot as a burning coal. It was impossible to conceal my agony; my eyes were starting from their sockets. At last, in spite of shame and resolution, I was obliged to drop the cause of torment on my plate.

5. Sir Thomas and the ladies all compassionated my misfortune, and each advised a different application. One recommended oil, another water; but all agreed that wine was best for drawing out fire; and a glass of sherry was brought me from the side-board, which I snatched up with eagerness; but, oh! how shall I tell the sequel?

6. Whether the butler by accident mistook, or purposely designed to drive me mad, he gave me the strongest brandy; with which I filled my mouth, already flayed and blistered. Totally unused to every kind of ardent spirits, with my tongue, throat, and palate3 as raw as beef, what could I do? I could not swallow; and, clapping my hands upon my mouth, the liquor squirted through my fingers like a fountain, over all the dishes; and I was crushed by bursts of laughter from all quarters. In vain did Sir Thomas rep'rimand1 the servants, and Lady Friendly chide her daughters; for the measure of my shame and their diversion was not yet complete.

7. To relieve me from the intolerable state of perspiration which this accident had caused, without considering what I did,

1 Course, the dishes set on the table at one time.- Flayed, skinned; having the skin taken off. Pål' ate, the roof, or upper part of the mouth. Rep' ri mand, to censure; blame severely.

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CONTRASTED SOLILOQUIES.

183

I wiped my face with that ill-fated handkerchief, which was still wet from the consequences of the fall of Xenophon, and covered all my features with streaks of ink in every direction. The băronet himself could not support the shock, but joined his lady in the general laugh; while I sprang from the table in despair, rushed out of the house, and ran home in an agony of confusion and disgrace which the most poignant' sense of guilt could not have excited.

ANON

77. CONTRASTED SOLILOQUIES. 2

"WELL," exclaimed a young lady, just returned from school,

"my education is at last finished !—indeed, it would be strange, if, after five years' hard application, any thing were left incomplete. Happily, that is all over now; and I have nothing to do, but to exercise my various accomplishments.3

2. "Let me see !—As to French, I am mistress of that, and speak it, if possible, with more fluency than English. Italian I can read with ease, and pronounce věry well; as well, at least, as any of my friends; and that is all one need wish for in Italian. Music I have learned till I am perfectly sick of it. But, now that we have a grand piano, it will be delightful to play when we have company; I must still continue to practice a little, the only thing, I think, that I need now improve myself in. And then there are my Italian songs! which everybody allows I sing with taste; and as it is what so few people can pretend to, I am particulary glad that I can.

3. "My drawings are universally admired, especially the shells and flowers, which are beautiful, certainly: besides this, I have a decided taste in all kinds of fancy ornaments. And then my dancing and waltzing,-in which our master himself owned that he could take me no further;—just the figure for it, certainly; it would be unpardonable if I did not excel.

1 Poignant, severe; pointed. So lil' o quies, words spoken alone or to one's self.3 Ac côm' plish ments, acquirements which add ornament or grace; what one has learnt.-* Grand piano (pe å' no), differs from a common piano in having three strings to each note, while the common piano has but two.

4. "As to common things, geography, and history, and poetry and philosophy,—thank my stars, I have got through them all so that I may consider myself not only perfectly accomplished, but also thoroughly well informed.—Well, to be sure, how much I have fagged through!—the only wonder is, that one head can contain it all!"

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78. CONTRASTED SOLILOQUIES-CONCLUDED.

"A LAS !" exclaimed a silver-headed sage, "how narrow is the

utmost extent of human science!-how circumscribed' the sphere of intellectual exertion! I have spent my life in acquiring knowledge; but how little do I know! The further I attempt to penetrate the secrets of nature, the more I am bewildered and benighted. Beyond a certain limit, all is but confusion or conjecture; so that the advantage of the learned over the ignorant, consists greatly in having ascertained how little is to be known.

2. "It is true that I can measure the sun, and compute1 the distances of the planets; I can calculate their periodical3 movements, and even ascertain the laws by which they perform their sublime revolutions; but with regard to their construction, and the beings which inhabit them, what do I know more than the clown?

3. "Delighting to examine the economy of nature in our own world, I have analyzed the elements; and have given names to their component' parts. And yet, should I not be as much at a loss to explain the burning of fire, or to account for the liquid quality of water, as the vulgar, who use and enjoy them without thought or examination?

4. "I remark that all bodies, unsupported, fall to the ground; and I am taught to account for this by the law of gravitation But what have I gained here more than a term? Does it conrey to my mind any idea of the nature of that mysterious and

'Cir cum scribed', confined; limited. In tel lect' u al, relating to the mind.- Con ject' ure, an opinion without proof; supposition.-Compute', calculate.- Pe ri ôd'ical, at stated periods or intervals. - Ana. lyzed', separated into parts.- Com po' nent, composing; making up.

CONTRASTED SOLILOQUIES.

185

invisible chain, which draws all things to a common centre? I observe the effect, I give a name to the cause; but can I explain or comprehend it?

5. "Pursuing the track of the naturalist,' I have learned to distinguish the animal, vegetable, and mineral kingdoms; and tc divide these into their distinct tribes and families: but can I tell, after all this toil, whence a single blade of grass derives its vitality? Could the most minute researches enable me to discover the ex'quisite3 pencil that paints and fringes the flower of the field? Have I ever detected the secret that gives their brilliant dye to the ruby and the emerald, or the art that enamels the delicate shell?

6. "I observe the sagacity of animals; I call it instinct, and speculate upon its various degrees of approximation to the reason of man. But, after all, I know as little of the cogitations of the brute, as he does of mine. When I see a flight of birds overhead, performing their evolutions,' or steering their course to some distant settlement, their signals and cries are as unintelligible to me, as are the learned languages to the unlettered rustic: I understand as little of their policy and laws, as they do of Blackstone's Commentaries.

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7. "But, leaving the material creation, my thoughts have often ascended to loftier subjects, and indulged in metaphysical speculation. And here, while I easily perceive in myself the two distinct qualities of matter and mind, I am baffled in every attempt to comprehend their mutual dependence and mysterious connection. When my hand moves in obedience to my will, have I the most distant conception of the manner in which the volition" is either communicated or understood? Thus, in the exercise of one of the most simple and ordinary actions, I am perplexed and confounded, if I attempt to account for it.

Vi tål' i ty, power of main

'Nåt' u ral ist, one who studies nature. taining life. Exquisite (èks' kwe zit), very fine or delicate.-a Spec' ulate, think; reflect. Approx i mà' tion, nearness; growing near.— Coġ i ta' tions, thoughts.- Ev o là' tions, motions that change their positions with regard to each other.- Blackstone wrote a work called "Commentaries on the English Law." Met a phys' ic al, beyond na Aure; intellectual; relating to the science of the mind.-- Volition (vo lish' un), act of willing; act of forming a purpose or making a choice.

8. "Again, how many years of my life were devoted to the acquisition of those languages, by the means of which I might explore the records of remote ages, and become familiar with the learning and literature of other times. And what have I gathered from these, but the mortifying fact, that man has ever been struggling with his own im'potence,' and vainly endeavoring to overleap the bounds which limit his anxious in'quiries?

9. "Alas! then, what have I gained by my laborious researches, but a humbling conviction of my weakness and ignorance? How little has man, at his best estate, of which to boast! What folly in him to glory in his contracted powers, or to value himself upon his imperfect acquisitions !"

JANE TAYLOR.

1.

79. THE DAYS THAT ARE GONE.

WHO is it that mourns for the days that are gone,

When a noble could do as he liked with his own?
When his serfs,3 with their burdens well fill'd on their backs,
Never dared to complain of the weight of a tax?
When his word was a statute, his nod was a law,
And for aught but his "order" he cared not a straw?
When each had his dungeon and racks for the poor,
And a gibbet to hang a refractory' boor?

2. They were days when a man with a thought in his pate
Was a man that was born for the popular hate;
And if 'twere a thought that was good for his kind,
The man was too vile to be left unconfined;
The days when obedience, in right or in wrong,

Was always the sermon and always the song;

When the people, like cattle, were pounded or driven,
And to scourge them was thought a king's license from heaven.

1Im' po tence, weakness; want of power.- Con vic' tion, settled opinion; belief. Sårfs, servants or slaves. Ståt'ute, a special law.— B Råck, an instrument of torture.- Gib' bet, a gallows on which a criminal is hanged.-' Re fråct' o ry, stubborn; resisting authority; ungov ernable. Pound' ed, put into a pound, an inclosure for stray cattle; confined.--Scourgo (skårj) beat; whip.

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