providence that fo dearly loveth thee, even thy very fins fhall further thee to heaven; if thou haft now fallen, through the infirmity of thy corrupt nature, God will raise thee, by this fall of thine, to more perfection in goodness, to more vigilance, to more holiness, to more courage, to more conftancy in thy chriftian calling; for, the Lord ordereth agood man's goings, and maketh his way acceptable unto him, though he fall he shall not be cast away, for the Lord upholdeth him, Pfal. 37. 23, 24, and if that evil one be powerfully malicious, the greater shall thy joy and triumph be, when thou art happily victorious.

Lord, how truly bleffed is the condition of thy faints? who compelleft even the rage of earth and hell to work for their advantage: why art thou then fo fad, O my foul, and why art thou fo dif quieted within me? ftill truft in God for he is the help of thy countenance, and thy God, Pfal. 42. 15

Lord, how fad is my condition without thee! thou (who alone knowest the secrets of all hearts) knoweft that I love thee, that I long for thee, that I defire nothing in comparison of thee my God, and yet thou findest nothing but pollution in me: fometimes I beg to be at union with thee, and fometimes live as if I cared not for mercy from thee; ftill I fin, and ftill thou forgivest; yea, I am there efore the more ready to rebel against thee, because Strust

thou, Lord, art most ready to be merciful unto me; and yet for all this (fuch are thy bowels of compaffion towards me) thou bemoaneft mine iniquity, thou inviteft, thou compelleft me to mercy.

Lord, wilt thou ftill fuffer me to abufe thy goodnefs? I have often run from thee, by relapfing unto grievous fins, and thou, O Lord, as often haft received me to favor, and afforded me the sweet refreshings of thy holy spirit; I confefs myself unworthy to enjoy that blessed spirit which I have fo often grieved: O let this teach me to be truly and fincerely thankful unto thee, to love thee more heartily, praise thee more joyfully, ferve thee more faithfully to my lives end.

FOR thou, O bleffed Lord, art all in all unto me, thou art strength in my weakness, love in my wilfulness, life in my finfulness; thou alone knoweft under what great evils of fin, under what fad preffures of forrow I daily groan, and thou haft promised to ease those weary fouls, that cry to thee for fuccour and relief.

Lord fave me, or I perish; Lord ease me of this heavy burden, that I fink not to eternal mifery; give me thy faving grace, to guide me from these woeful ways of wickedness; O let this hour put. an end to this fin: Lord, lead me unto thy paths, and uphold me there, that my feet flip not; fuffer

me not to feed upon thefe empty husks; O fatisfy me with thy mercy, and that foon, before I go hence, and be no more feen.

My fpirit is willing (O Lord) but my flesh is weak; have pity upon me, have pity upon me, for I am in mifery.

Lord cover my fins, Lord pardon mine infirmities, Lord Jefus accept of me, and interpofe thy bleffed merits for me.

Lord raife me from this wretched fall; support my weaaness, renew my repentance, increase my faith, quicken my zeal, that fo by thy gracious affiftance, I may be raised to more purity, to more perfection, in my Chriftian calling; that where fin hath abounded, there grace may abound much more, to thy great glory, and mine own endless

comfort.

O Lord hear, O Lord forgive, O Lord confider and do it, defer not for thine own fake, O my God. AMEN.

CHAP. XXVII.

UPON DESERTION.

WHILE I am in this pilgrimage of fin, I cannot be without this portion of forrow; why complain I of that which I have so justly deserved? how often hath my God afforded me the gracious vifits of this bleffed fpirit; and yet how eafily have I regarded them? Lord, I am not worthy of the least of all thy mercies, much lefs of this invaluable favor, to enjoy the kiffes of thy facred mouth: as I am now grieved for the lofs of thy prefence, fo I have too often grieved thee by mine own rẻbellious abfence; this is the fad condition even of the best of thy faints in this life; as they have had their aberrations from grace, fo they have had their fluctuations in woe; these fad departings of thy blessed spirit have ever been the just memorials of their presents griefs, and former miferies.

I fee thy holy fervant David fadly bemoaning this great loss, and almost despairing of the enjoyment of thy gracious prefence, I hear him crying out in bitterness of foul; will the Lord abfent himfelf for ever, and will he fhew no more favor? is his mercy clean gone for ever? doth his promife fail for evermore? hath God forgotten to be gracious? hath he fhut up his tender mercy in difpleafure? Pfal. 77. 7, 8, 9.

How grievous was this complaint? how gracious thine answer? even in the very minute of distress, even by the very lips of the diftreffed, for it follows in a breath, and I faid, this is my death, but I will remember the years of the right hand of the moft high.

Jonah's extremity was thy bleffed opportunity; even when Jonah thought himself in moft danger of perishing, he then found thy mercy most ready in relieving; when he thought himself caft out of thy fight, even then he found himself looking to thy prefence, and ready to be received into thy favor, Jonah 2. 4.

Lord, if thou giveft me but the leaft measure of true faith, I shall be able to remove the greatest mountains of fin, and know affuredly to my fouls exceeding comfort, that thou hideft thy face from me but for a moment in this life, that thou mayst gather me to everlasting kindness in that to come.

Comfort thyself in this therefore (O my foul) that God will never leave thee, that he will never forfake thee, that he will never leave thee totally, nor forsake thee finally; that he hath not now withdrawn his gracious presence from thee, but the prefent comfort of his grace from working in thee; as there are fad desertions, so there will undoubtedly be gracious visits; thou mayest be forsaken in