him to the tyranny of fin, and torture of punishment: fuch Lord, is the vast difference between the bleffed ones of thy fold, and thofe unhappy ones which ftray from thee into the ftrange paftures of impiety. No forrow can surprise me but for fin, and even this too thou makeft to increase my joy: what afflictions can be evil, which is thy phyfick who art the fountain of all good? if it be grievous in the tafte, it is joyous in the effects; if I mark the happy clofe, I muft with joy confefs, that these bitter ftorms will end in bleffed calms, will bring to my remembrance thofe grievous fins that brought my Saviour to those bitter groans, will force me from the forrows of this life, to my celestial harbour, will bring me on my knees to fee mine own vileness, will enrich me with the graces of humility and patience, and together with them the sweet enjoyments of thy blessed spirit; and if so, how can I complain of want, when instead of earth I enjoy heaven ? Lord, what can he fear that is affured of thy favour? affiictions, tribulations, croffes, fins, fatan, death, hell itself fhall work to mine advantage: as my cross is more grievous, my crown fhall be more glorious; where fin and fatan have been moft prevailing, there grace and goodness fhall be more triumphing. How truly fweet Lord is the inviolable peace of thy faints? who powerfully compelleft in even the very rage of earth and hell to work to their advantage. Lord fanctify the trials of this life unto my finful foul, that by my patient fufferings with my Saviour here, I may have peace with him, and by him hereafter. I have hitherto looked on mine inward happiness; if I now can caft mine eyes upon mine outward, I shall there fee that all these outward bleffings also are moft peculiarly belonging to the Saints; the wicked ones of the world are robbers, and fhall one day give an account of their thefts; children, friends, ftrangers, even our very enemies, are protected, preferved, enriched, bleffed for our fakes; fo was Joseph and his brethren for Jacob, Zoar for Lot, Po tiphee for Jofeph, the Centurian and foldiers for St. Paul: and if thou (Lord) wilt look fo lovingly upon the children of this world for thine elect fake, how graciously wilt thou one day look upon those fons that shall be made partakers of thine own inheritance? Who would not now be holy? seeing that in this bleffed condition, there is not only fafety inviolable, but peace unutter able, fafety in life, and fweetness in death. And now Lord, when I enquire for what cause thou givest me all this, I find nothing but thy meer love unto me; when I ask what thou requireft for all this, I hear thee demand nothing but the return of love what is more eafy, what more fweet, than love? and what object more amiable, than that glorious Being that is the perfection of all love, and that love the beauty of all perfection? thou canst not give, Lord, what thou haft not, the glory of thy creation is but a glimpse of that greater glory of thine effence; Lord, who can deny thee love? how fweet is this yoke, how light this burthen! when I love thee, I enjoy thee, and myself in thee, I poffess thee, I reft in thee for ever. O my God, all that thou giveft me, all that thou requireft of me, is to make me happy, to thee be glory for ever. AMEN. Blessed Lord, me, ALL this I joyfully confefs thou haft done for and yet the whole course of my corrupt life hath been nothing else but a continued rebellion against thee; mine eyes full of adultery, my tongue of corrupt communication, mine hands of oppreffion, mine ears open to iniquity, mine heart full of hypo: crify, my feet lame in thy paths, and fwift to walk in the ways of finners, my whole man nothing elfe but the very body of death, and deftruction. I have finned against precepts, against promises, against mercies, against judgements, against the checks of mine own conscience, and the blessed motions of thine holy spirit; I have even tempted my temptations, by making daily and hourly provinions for fin; and have been fo far from forrowing for all this, No that I have refolved to continue yet ftill. And yet fo great is thy compaffion towards me, that still thou ftoreft up new mercies for me. Lord, I bewail my weakness; I lament my wilfulnefs, I abhor my filthiness; I heartily defire, and earnestly endeavour to unrip my foul, to ranfack my heart, to unlock the very fecrets of my thoughts, that I may have all my fins continually before me, even in their worst appearances; and I may loath them and leave them, and obtain thy gracious pardon for them. I confefs, Lord, that I am utterly unworthy to enjoy this bleffed light, which I have so much abused to thy great dishonor; much more the light of grace, by which thou leadeft me to that of glory; and that it were more just with thee, for ever to deprive me of these happy lights, and to expose me to the terrors of eternal darkness. Lord, I have finned, and cannot chufe but fin; I am a great and grievous finner, and yet I am thy child; have pity upon me, have pity upon me, for I am in mifery into the bofom of thy tender love, I thruft my finful foul for fafety and protection. Matt. 1.21 |