Bleffed Lord, my hope is in thee, my foul trusteth in thee, and under the fhadow of thy wings fhall be my refuge, until this mifery be overpast, O Lord, confider my complaint, for I am brought very low.

Let my present anguish more prevail with thee, to move thee to compaffion, than my former foolishness, to stir thy wrath and indignation. O enter not into judgment with thy fervant, for no flesh is righteous in thy fight.

Lord, I confefs my wickedness, and am forry for my fin; for thy name's fake, O Lord, be merciful' unto my fin, for it is great; my confufion is daily before me, and the shame of my face hath covered me; my heart is difquieted within me, and the fear of death is fallen upon me: Lord, I am thine, O fave me for thy mercy's fake; into thy hands I commend myself, for thou haft redeemed me, O Lord, thou God of truth.

Forfake me not, O Lord my God, be not thou far from me, hafte thee to help me, O Lord God of my falvation, O fpare me for thy mercy fake, that I may recover my ftrength, before I go hence,, and. be no more seen.AMEN,

CHAP. XXXV.

UPON THE MISERY OF LIFE, AND BLESSED-
NESS. OF DEATH..

I AM a pilgrim and a ftranger here, as all my fathers were, I am wearied with travel, and long to be at reft; I am lodged here but with great cost, and greater danger; this feeming fweetness hath coft me much true forrow, many bitter fighs, aching hearts, disturbance of body, distraction of foul; I have fought for help here below, but can find none, no creature on earth to relieve me, mone to fupport me; I have seen pleasure to be folly, and laughter madness, men of low degree to be vanity, of high degree a lye, their understanding vain, their labours vain, their help much more vain; for who can ransom the foul of his brother, fure man muft let that alone for ever. My fubftance is a meer fhadow, and my reft unquietnefs; : I labour for holiness, but I cannot attain it; Ι fearch for happiness, but I cannot find it; the devil beguiles me of it, the world allures me from it; yea, (fo fad is my condition) that mine own foul is against mine own contentment. My understanding cozens me, mine affections betray me, my memory forfakes me; those things which I would do I cannot, and I daily do thofe things which I would

not; all that I am, all that I can be in this life, is nothing else but extreme vanity.

What fhall I think of all this? and wherewith fhall I comfort me? by thy mercy, Lord, I have found out one that can relieve me, thou (O my bleffed Saviour) art unto me life, and by thee death is unto me advantage; while my body fleeps it fhall reft, and that reft fhall be truly bleffed; I fhall reft from labour, from forrow, from fin; my fleep fhall be fafe, my vifion happy; while my body fleepeth my foul fhall awake, when my foul is uncloathed of flesh, and flesh of beauty, my fpirit fhall be made ready with the robes of glory; while my duft is infenfible, my fpirit is intelligible; mine eyes shall be then opened, and I shall see even as I am feen, with purity and perfection of foul; no evil of nature shall obfcure me, no defect of organs hinder me, no clouds of fin to moleft me; mine understanding shall be clear, mine affections pure, my memory perfect; I shall there be satisfied in beholding, ravished in enjoying, blessed in retaining: nothing can be there wanting, where I enjoy all that was, that is, that is to come; where the happy humanity is eternally united to the bleffed Deity, where I am Christ's, and Christ is God's. O happy condition of my finful body, O blessed change of my immortal foul, the one is fown in corruption that it may rife to immortality; the other layeth

down corruption, to inherit glory; tho' I now leave it, I ftill long to enjoy it, and joy exceedingly in longing for it, because I know I shall for ever be united to it.

But who is me, even in this happiness I am still miferable. I have found out my quiet, but I care not to enjoy it; death offers me a crown, and I refule to acce pt it; am I so fenfeless to effect mine own unhappiness? to rejoice in labour, and complain of reft? what do I here any longer? the world loves me not, nor I it: why do I thus dote upon mine enemy? when it frowns, it affli&s me, when it fmiles, it betrays me; there is nothing in it but weariness and mifery.

Go out therefore, O my foul, go out cheerfully from thy prison to thy palace, God is thy father, and heaven thy country; thou art here distressed, poor, and wretchedly naked, bereaved of graces, defpoiled of goodness, thou haft there much treafure, and of great price, a fair mansion, and a goodly heritage; Chrift hath purchased it, and is gone before to prepare it: thou longest much in this life to behold that which thou never faweft; here are great and glorious things prepared for. thee, fuch as eye hath not feen, ear hath not heard, neither have entered into the heart of man to conceive; how earnestly fhouldft thou long to fee

them? how much more earnestly to enjoy them? how willing fhould this make thee to express thyfelf with holy David, and fay, "My foul is athirst "for God, yea even for the living God, when "fhall I come and appear before the presence of 66 my God?"

Alas, my foul, thou art here but groping in the dark, daily erring and mistaking, hourly ftumbling and falling into fin, into fhame, into forrow; in great dangers of the miseries of life, in greater of the torments of eternal death.

All that thou knoweft here, is to know thyfelf ignorant thou only knowest things here by their events, thou shalt there know them in their first causes; thou art here wearied out in gaining this imperfe&t, lame, and empty knowledge; thou fhalt there delight thyself in knowing all that is defireable, by knowing him, in whom are all the treafures of wisdom and knowledge; thefe drops of tranfitory joys are full of bitterness, those rivers of eternal pleasures, are derived from the fountain of eternal sweetness; thou haft here vain pomp to delight thee, thou haft there a far greater and more exceeding weight of glory to encompass thee; thou art here enthralled by the mifery of life, thou art there enlarged by the bleffedness of death.